Planning a trip at the end of August to France with girl friends (for @FloreatMagdalen‘s 30th bday) – anything we should definitely do?
Warning: profanity-laced rant ahead.
Is she aware that France is a big country with several very different regions? That only a really stupid person would ask this question? And here’s a stupid answer back: Hey, tool. Eat cheese, baguette and pastries until you almost explode and then walk around a lot. Go to museums. There are lots of them, can you imagine! Drink absinthe in a genuine absinthe bar. Guzzle wine. Get laid by a French man. Warning: They are not big on deodorant and you know what? Real chicks don’t mind a manly-smelling man. Oh dear — that rules you out.
Jesus. If she’s in the south of France, for fuck’s sake, then she should go to the beach and go do Van Gogh stuff in Arles or do the perfume factory in Grasse and check out Cannes, Nice, Monaco, whatever. She should visit a stinking olive grove in Provence. Drive through the hills. Have a picnic. Eat sausage!
If she’s in Paris, there are a billion things to do, museums to see, places to check out. How could anyone list just one thing? One thing she should not do, however, is walk around dressed like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm because Parisienne women will treat her with complete contempt. Actually, yes, let’s hope she packs the suede hooves, the tutus, and rocks the bobby-pin mullet.
If she’s in the mountains, fucking go on walking tours. Drink more wine and eat more cheese.
Normandy? Fucking Google it. There’s a ton of Second World War history there. Why do I doubt she’s even aware of that? Do you even think she knows what D-Day is? How impressed do you suppose the McCains were with her?
Why is she so stupid? Why?