Internet’s Most Famous Crazy Person Does Not See Irony In Reading Psychology Today

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Reading material for the flight

And, of course, the only article she’s quoting is about fucking dreams and their significance, and it’s a stupid quote to boot:

“Precisely bc dreams are vivid, uncensored representations of our desires & fears, they are a window into what we really want out of life.”

Is that so? Because last night I had a dream that Piers Handling and I were eating walnuts on the moors in Exmoor National Park in the U.K. And I don’t like Piers Handling. And I hate walnuts. And I’ve seen enough of Exmoor National Park to last a lifetime. The moors are very pretty, however. But my point is, sometimes dreams are just stupid fucking dreams that stem from a series of random images that your brain subconsciously took in during the course of the day. They are often completely meaningless. But it’s funny imagining the Donk waking up after dreaming about Pancakes, cupcakes, cleaning up Lilly’s shit, Mark Kirk and Meghan McCain’s tits and trying to discern the meaning.

What’s funny about the fact that she’s reading Psychology Today on the plane ride back to Chicago after another pointless trip to NYC is that her Twitter stream/shitcast is chockful of crazy. Yet another message to Pancakes that she and Greasy are in regular contact. Yet more sad pictures of Lilly being hauled pointlessly back across the country after being dumped with God knows who — The Dogsitter, I guess — so that her demented owner could make a post-dumping ashram visit YET AGAIN. Some hairstyle she likes. The usual.

Donk, never mind reading Psychology Today. Just find a psychologist, today.

81 COMMENTS

  1. Ashton, who can be the custodian of her memories interpreter of her crazy dreams?

      • she is almost unbearable to watch. almost. the weird blinking, face contortions and hand motions really just bring the lulz.

        • Agree! It reads so unauthentic. She really looks like she is lying the whole time. It’s off-putting!!

      • For such a lover of pink and all things stereotypically feminine she has such a big, loud, masculine voice. When she gives the thumbs up and calls her ex classy she seems crazier than ever. Asking for an imac from your ex is classy? Posting non stop about the guy you dated for five minutes using his last name at every opportunity is classy? If I had heard her speak earlier I’d have become a “hater” sooner.

        • mac book I guess, I’m not a product person but I think imac was earlier… same difference.

      • I cannot get over all the bizarre stereotypes she has about men. What planet is she on? “Men cheat.” And women don’t?? She of all people should know that women fuck around just as much as men do.

        And for that matter, her stereotypes about women are equally fucked up. I hate how she applies her own neuroses to every other woman. Like we all obsess about our relationships, even at work. No, honey, no. We don’t. IT’S JUST YOU. Does she not have enough to do? Does it occur to her that her 24/7 obsessing over all of her “boys” is the reason she keeps getting dumped? What??? Is wrong with her??

        • I cannot listen to her anymore precisely because of her backwards/brainwashed BULLSHIT about men v. women. And YET AGAIN she chalks it all up to how different we are biologically. Does she have no concept of social constructs? Cultural formation?! I CANNOT TAKE IT! I thought she knew what sociology is about?! BRAYGEQUAKE!!!!!!! brayge fuckin quake

          • Not to mention that she assumes the whole FUCKIN world is heterosexual.
            I HATE HER. HER HEAD IS SO FAR UP HER ASS IT’S JUST INCREDIBLE. INCREDIBLE. help me.

          • silly, she LOVES “any conversation encompassing sociology, biology, psychology, philosophy, architecture, media, technology, feminism, personal growth and the absurd machinations between men & women otherwise known as “dating.” “

      • What? Is Wrong? With her? How does such a “feminist” perpetuate such gender-based stereotypes? Not all women have hysterical breakdowns when they have a fight with a boy or get dumped. Most of us can function and HAVE to function and get shit done. We can’t all go to a fucking ashram for a week to “heal”. I truly hate this bint – she gives women a bad name.

        • She is as much a feminist as she is a social media expert. And writer. And friend. And responsible pet owner. And yogini. And celiac.

      • “Men cheat… they’re different from us.”
        HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!1!

      • Hahaha she said “…to be honest…” to start off her spiel.

        Great stuff. BTW Julie when are you going to be honest with yourself, much less the rest of the world?
        (On a side note, how much are you charging the dumbass who takes you home tonight, Julia?)

        • Giftcards at a 5% discount are NOT APPROPRIATE. Unless the Greason is greasing your big butt up.

        • She might be drink…..honestly her eyes are closed most of the time and she forces her words. She is drink.

          • totally drink. She had 10 3/5 sips of a martini before that video.

        • Seriously, does she have a tic or something?

          And “at essence” in the first one – hehe.

        • She is full of such self-loathing and thinks we are too. She’s crazy, she attracts crazy, so she has no idea what normal women act like.

    • She says her last relationship was with Redacted and is clearly still bitter about it (and she calls Mary her “best friend), so this must be first half of 2008? And if she had started seeing Chaz as that point, she’s flat-out calling him a rebound guy?

      Something else. She says that Redacted broke up with her in Dec and it was via blog post. I thought the bigger Dec breakup happened privately – the blog post breakup was the first breakup in early fall? Paging Records Custodian…

      • They broke up and got back together several times during the course of their short relationship. There were at least two break ups by blog, one in December that officially ended their “couple’s blog”, but I do believe that the official end of the relationship happened offline over Christmas.

  2. Donk, never mind reading Psychology Today. Just find a psychologist, today.

    Truer words were never typed.

  3. You know how they say if you worry about being crazy you’re probably not, because only people who *aren’t* crazy have the capacity to wonder about that?

    Yeah, well, Julia is whatever the opposite of that would be.

  4. From covers of magazines to failed TV projects and now to video games, our Julia Allison is the queen of all media.

    Must watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFAbKgw8oSY

    “This ladies and gentleman, is the Donkey Woman!”

    Stick with it after 0:45 for the braying.

    “She literally has a horse’s mouth coming out of her face.”

    “That’s the creepiest face I’ve ever seen.”

  5. the Boggers are truly demented:

    Dad: Did you hear the big news?? Me: No. Mom: Langdon is going to be PET OF THE WEEK in the Wilmette Beacon newspaper!!! Dad: It’s huge.

    Mom: I told Langdon that he needs to stay humble after Pet of the Week comes out, because everyone will be asking for his pawtograph.

    • Is that why she hauls poor Lily all over the place? Because Langdon is King of the Kastle?

  6. Julia’s “relationships,” romantic history, whatever – it’s all fatuous. she clings to and quotes what she percieves as “high brow” magazines and literature (ha!) to validate things that are simply not there. erioisly, she makes shit up all the time and expects an audience to find her charming. Chica has blown all this money and energy on ashrams and cleanses and injections one has to suspect these things she advocates, are indeed, suspect. Julia’s not willing to do any work, which makes her the last person one would PAY to dispense advice or represent a brand. frankly, when talk around rbns gets to the notion of her being an escort I cringe. that’s too much work for her. spending a few nights with Pancakes at his “temporary” home qualifies in her universe as living domestically together. Julia is a silly immature creature and I don’t think she is as much playing with her imagined audience as grasping at straws.

    • Agreed. She doesn’t have the work ethic and is too emotionally fragile to be an escort. I don’t know how she affords to live the way she does, however. It makes no sense. That column might pay for a flight a month, tops.

      • Yeah, I don’t know how she can afford it either. Maybe Ashton can help us figure it out? (What I wouldn’t give to see her tax returns for the last three years…)

  7. I’ve only commented once or twice, but I just realized: how effed up is it that her mom’s twitter handle is @juliasmom? She can’t even think about her own mother in any sense other than “who is this person in relation to ME, JULIA, THE BESTMOSTINTERESTINGALSOHOTTESTANDFUNNIESTPERSONINTHEWORLD!”
    I mean, I get it, her mom probably doesn’t care about twitter so she probably made the account for her, but still! She has a regular, human, not-related-to-every-iteration-of-Julia name!

    • Only because Julia set it up for her. Shocking, I know, that that is the handle Donk would choose for her mother. Don’t you bitches understand — it’s all about her!

  8. topherchris: I’m starting a petition to get @JuliaAllison to go to the Webbys with me. #notbeingmean #serious

    WTF?

    • He’s a loser and has been chasing donkey trou for awhile now, so this isn’t too surprising.

  9. Slightly OT, but Psychology Today is about as relevant to psychology as JA is to to journalism. I trust y’all cat ladies have been following the fiasco of some evo psych blowhard spouting about how black women aren’t as attractive on the PT blogs?

  10. BTW, those wakeup2abreakup (doesn’t Donk always) vids kept pausing because I had a million other tabs loading, and I have to say that they are FILLED with amazing screenshots for future donkposts – will try to get a few good ones. Beyond that, anyone find it funny that she’s definitely the LEAST qualified of the experts – two docs (PSYCH docs, at that) and E. Jean (who is be hilarious and frank with her advice whenever I read her columns) – that were also on the site? She looks ridiculous without the glaring differences there, but even worse with them.

  11. Battling insomnia. Losing. I haven’t had this issue in … six months.
    7 hours ago from Twitter – Comment – Like – Share

    Oh sure….

    • Really weird. It seems like he’s saying that he found out who is behind this and other anti-JABs sites and that person is a “sicko” and he’s apologized to her for giving her so much shit. At first, I thought the “sick stalker” he was referring to was…himself. His ex wife accused him of as much on twitter once.

    • WTF! He’s deleted all the stuff about the ‘guy being a creepy rejected stalker’ please tell me someone screen capped it

      • He seems as mentally ill/bipolar as her… WTF? Why now?

    • Loren edited this. The original said basically called the person behind the anti-donks site(s) a sicko who was rejected by Donk and so started the hate sites. He found this out from the sicko himself, the way it read. So he can now not participate in any JA bashing because what’s behind it is some guy who couldn’t get her to go out with him. He apologized to her personally and it wasn’t a “warm” conversation but he felt OK about that.

      In other words: Jacy and Juliaspublicist are a pissed off rejected straight dude.

  12. This is the first part of it;

    “I’ve told Julia Allison I’m sorry for giving her shit. Frankly she kinda deserved it. What she doesn’t deserve is to be stalked by a sicko. … He told me those sites were started due to Julia being an ass on the web. … but nobody deserves what this guy did and is trying to do to her.”

    Cant find the rest at the moment.

        • Loren also said he phoned Julia as soon as he found out who the guy was behind ‘these sites’ as she deserved to know the truth. What the fuck?

          • @ BravoJulia but it looks like he took parts of that down…

            What’s left up is vague and makes no sense…

        • (eye roll) Please.

          Put this site, cite, sight up against that open letter Feldman wrote to Peter Baugher any day – who is the REAL sicko?

    • This is the original:

      “I’ve told Julia Allison I’m sorry for giving her shit. Frankly she kinda deserved it. What she doesn’t deserve is to be stalked by a sicko. I know the guy who started those sites about her. He told me those sites were started due to Julia being an ass on the web. I got hooked into the freedom of speech issues. They were in fact started because a nutcase was obsessed with her. A man Julia would never look at it let alone pay attention to. This is why the sites were started. Revenge at being scorned. When I found out the truth I immediately called her. I felt I owed it to her.

      Knowing the monster who started it and why, I can know longer be a part of it. It’s one thing to criticize a public person, it’s quite the other to terrorize someone because you have these latent unrequited feelings.

      I have apologized to Julia personally. While I wouldn’t call it a warm conversation she seemed to accept it.

      None of us are perfect, and some might do stupid things worthy of criticism, but nobody deserves what this guy did and is trying to do to her. I suspect that Julia and I will never have a cozy relationship, but at least she knows the truth about this guy.”

      WTF? Don’t know if I believe it. She does lie to get sympathy. She also knows we’re bored with her. Maybe this is just to stir up interest? And getting Loren to do your bidding? Shame on you, Julie. But guess what? This is the first time I’ve posted in days. So, Mission Accomplished?

      • This is bullshit. So completely off base that it’s laughable. Someone’s sold him a bill of goods, and I can’t believe he bought it, but my Donk-dar tells me she’s probably behind it somehow.

        That’s right. We’re just some fat old bald loser pissed off because Julie Albertson wouldn’t go out with us. All righty then.

        • Face it Jacy, you are obviously an old dude that Julia rebuffed. It’s so clear to me now!

      • Dr Gary to the rescue! I’ve been looking through my Firefox cache for the last 20 minutes to no avail

      • I agree, it has donk-prints all over it. This is the story she put out there in her speech – that she has some angry guy emailing her and this site is behind it.

        Personally I think she might indeed have one or more angry stalkers. But to link this to RBD?? I for one am not doing the bidding of some angry jealous man.

    • I’ve just e-mailed him trying to figure out what he’s talking about. Will keep you posted. It’s puzzling, but it seems to me he is thinking some guy is behind RBD whom none of us have ever heard of. I don’t know where he’s getting his information but it’s erroneous.

      • He must know that or why did he pull 80% of his post down?

  13. Anyway, the donkerina now wants to move to Palo Alto!
    from her facebook:
    “Does everyone go through a time in their life when they genuinely cannot decide in which city to live?? Part of me wants to move back to New York, the other part wants to move to Palo Alto, the third part wants to move to Santa Monica, the fourth part enjoys being near my family in Chicago and the fifth part wants to invent teleportation so I can live in four cities simultaneously. Locational ADD: Am I the only one??”

      • Yes, most people have jobs and friends (and spousecats/catfriends with jobs and friends). However, these are not issues Donkerina has to factor into the equation.

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