Ben Gibbard Writes Whiny Emo Song In Which He Tells Julia Allison To Shut The Fuck Up

This is painfully unfunny. I’m embarrassed for her.

254 COMMENTS

  1. “on my way in can”
    Sounds more like a Julia date.

    You really, really, really need to cut back on the BluePrintCleanse, Julia.

  2. Jesus Christ Julia. The “thoughts?” query translated:

    “Hey bitch, say something so I can post it to my blog and mock you because right now, content-wise, I got nothin'”.

  3. I cannot comprehend how the donk found this funny. I’m not sure what’s worse that she wrote back a AHAHAHAHAHHAAH, actually thought it was funny, or that it was posted on the liecast. That may be the most lame auto correct I have seen.

    • It’s not only unfunny, it’s conceited — which one of these assholes is referring to their self as “cutie”?

      • I’m not sure if you’re being sarcastic but I believe it’s a play on words type deal. There’s a band named, Death Cab for Cutie.

  4. Her Twitter today is making me rage.

    First of all, try making someone else dinner, asshole. Secondly, try storing your bike in your own apartment, asshole. Thirdly, way to make fun of homeless people, asshole. Fourth, try going to therapy instead of reading ASTROLOGY ZONE like a goddamn middle schooler asshole, asshole. And lastly, try googling for bike paths yourself you goddamn lazy raftass piece of donkey dung.

    • The bike thing is so annoying. I’m 99% positive she’s storing her bike in a bike room reserved for building residents who like, pay maintenance and stuff. At least that’s how it works in a lot of NYC buildings.

    • In her OWN apartment? Silly, you know she doesn’t have one of those… She lives with her parents.

    • Do women really read astrology at 30? Tweeting @ astrology zone is a different story.

  5. I don’t know how she manages to stay friends with anyone. What kind of person puts random texts, chats, and conversations onto a blog for the entire world to see? It’s one thing if you have a nickname for someone when you’re doing it, but with someone’s name? And for what purpose?

    Social media expert: you’re doing it wrong.

    • DEAR JULIA,
      I have a friend that addicted to social media. She never puts her phone away, constantly takes pictures of people during inappropriate times and will text to her blog in the middle of a conversation!. Recently she has been posting screenshots of our text conversations without asking me first. How do I tell her to keep me out of her digital life while still remaining friends?
      Sincerely,
      CyberShy

      DEAR CYBERSHY,
      What? Is wrong with you? Social media is how we interact now. If you aren’t posting updates of your life on twitter or facebook, you might as well have no life. You should be thanking your friend for picking up your slack and keeping you relevant. Instead of avoiding pictures, buy yourself a pushup bra and learn how to make sexually suggestive poses with your mouth. Instead of complaining about your friend blogging during conversations, you should be asking yourself “How can I do something interesting right now so that my friend can blog about it?”

    • She doesn’t manage to stay friends with anyone. That’s how she ends up at an ashram on a holiday weekend with a random no-name friend we’ve never heard of before.

  6. Not to mention, autocorrect has nothing to do with it. The freakin ‘b’ key is right next to the ‘n’ key. It was a mis-type. I never comment, only read, but JESUSFUCK what? Is wrong with this dumbass?!?!?

  7. [img]http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llj1keoRGL1qzgajlo1_500.jpg[/img]
    And OF COURSE you would like this picture, Julia. Of fucking course.

      • Funny story, CP is the abbreviation we use at my job for my company name in all case notes (case notes meaning mental health case notes meaning CP and CP could both occur in the same note and mean two VERY different things).

    • Tiara by American Apparel
      Our new line of leotards specially designed for eating ice cream.
      Go on get sticky, you know you want to.

    • “I think ice cream cones eaten while wearing tiaras probably makes the ice cream taste better.”

      Is it just me, or does this read like the ice cream cones are wearing tiaras?

      • Yeah…maybe stolen tiaras.

        The thrill of a sleazy heist will probably make everything taste better, including the ass she kisses every day, for years to come.

  8. My tomcat and I were just texting about the distribution of our two cars this afternoon and the picking up of various children and whether one of the two cars is in fact about to die. He told me it’s acting bizarre but our usual repair guys won’t have a loaner until morning. I wrote back, “How can I help?” then realized what I’d done and made a startled noise and now might give up texting altogether.

    • I’m still disgusted Beach Bikes gave it to her for free. Then they gave her another one for Illinois. All in exchange for co-branding with one of the worst people on the Internet!

      • Yeah I remember getting my blood up over that, but more disgusting were all the shill-mandated pics of her chaining her bike

        1) To live trees, scraping bark off
        2) In the middle of a sidewalk, blocking normal pedestrian traffic

          • And so her neighbors had to look out the windows and see that stupid pink bike all the time…

          • She just blogged about that stupid bike and “pink power!”

            Julia, YOU ARE FUCKING THIRTY YEARS OLD, PLEASE STOP LIVING IN NEVER NEVER LAND!

      • I was wondering about that. Where did she leave her bike when she moved away from NYC? Is it in storage there somewhere, or did she leave “Cupcake” somewhere/with someone in the same manner with which she deposits her dog everywhere?

        • On the last thread, someone said she liecasted/twitted/whatevs about leaving it at one of the many Meg(h)an(n)(e)’s apartments in NY.

          • Let’s not forget that Julia, who is usually the lamest, most cheapskate gift-giver ever, [allegedly] purchased a [totally different, not cupcake] beach bike for Lasagna.

        • If she is a crafty leech (and I think we can agree she is) she leaves items behind everywhere she goes so she always has a pretense to barge over.

          JULIA: Paul, you ineffable … guy! How are you!
          PAUL: Uhm, Ok. Who is this?
          JULIA: Julia silly! Remember I came to your ’07 NYE party? I was wearing cupcake batter and an ice skating outfit?
          PAUL: Oh. yeah. You left that here.
          JULIA: Is THAT where it’s been? Well I am in town, can I stop by and get it? And possibly dinner? I know a amazeballz little place that refuses to charge females. It’s a real hoot!
          PAUL: Actually I’m in the middle of a wake for my dead father.
          JULIA: I really need that skating outfit. It belonged to my grandma when she was my age.
          PAUL: It’s made of spandex.
          JULIA: Paul! You are so funny! I’ll be right over! Do you have a car?

          • That’s a great conversation! “I’ll be right over! Do you have a car?” Haha! It never ceases to amaze me how well the catladies and catmen know Julia Allison, while she remains utterly clueless about who she is and what makes her tick.

    • It beats the original name: “Accidental Tampon”.

      Does Julia still have a dog, or what?

    • I hope she and Cupcake get stuck in the severe weather that’s coming our way. That would make me HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….

  9. JuliaAllison: @DatingAndLost – I have one bike here (Cupcake) & one in Chicago (Pink Pedal) 🙂

    Me: Grandmother called me ‘Lance Armstrong’ today.
    Brother Britt: Uh … I’m pretty sure Lance doesn’t name his bikes ‘Pink Petal & ‘Cupcake.’
    Me: Yeah, he *WISHES* he had bikes named like that! Maybe if Sheryl Crow were still around …

    Anyone else noticing how stupid Julia Allison has been lately? I don’t mean her usual unawareness of how the real world works & her amazement at ordinary things, but rather her abundant misspellings & misspeaks galore.

    • So while most people are out working, or at least making some kind of effort to find work, Julia Allison is out riding around on her asshole bike. The pink cupcake, frou-frou, tutu part of your life is over, Donkey. No one thinks it’s cute anymore.

    • As a Ph.Donk I am happy to clear the confusion: the original name of free-bike-numero-dos was in fact Pink Petal. She tweeted once, in an attempt to sound twee, that she gave her bikes names. Someone tweeted back saying “pink pedal would’ve been funnier” and here we are.

    • I am going to fucking throttle her. Riding a cruiser a few miles?! LANCE ARMSTRONG?! Why share that UNLESS YOU BELIEVE IT.

    • Grandmother called me ‘Lance Armstrong’ today.

      No doubt Granny was commenting on how Lance and Donkey both enjoy getting injections of toxic shit. If Julia actually paid attention to world events not involving her clam dungeon, she would realize it wasn’t a compliment.

      Well played, Nutty Granny Moneybags. Well played, indeed.

      [img]http://i56.tinypic.com/2dlp6h1.png[/img]

  10. Yes, yes, I’m having a glass of rose on this warm summer evening in New York (out to dinner with my college girl friend Kristin Thorne). It is delicious. Celebrating New York and new beginnings … blog

    AAAAaand it’s a picture of… wait for it… a bottle of 2010 vintage table white wine. That look the waiter gave you when you insisted you take a picture of the $3/bottle house wine? That’s called contempt.

    Do all of Donkey’s friends and fans have names that start with K (or C) or is it just the voices in her head?

    • The “yes, yes, yes, I know, I RARELY drink but tonight, darlings, I am having a glass of rose” — shut the fuck up, Jesus, no one cares, guzzle the bottle, you tool, it’d probably make you a lot more interesting that is if you could restrain yourself from Tweeting TEEHEETEEHEE SEE JACK McCAIN I AM SO FUNNY WHEN I’M DRINK TEEHEE TEEHEE all night long.

        • -Taylor
          -Greasy
          -[redacted stanford graduate student]
          -own sloppy seconds
          -Mr. Greason
          -friends, ineffable and/or best

          Welp. That just about completes the list, doesn’t it?

      • I bet she’s a horrible spitty, clingy drunk. Can you imagine how loud the bray is when she is drink?

        PS: Stupid cunty donkey!

        • Random new ‘friend’: Oh, blogs, I have a tumb-
          JA: SQUEEEEEEEEL! I have friends who work at TUMBLR. Have you heard of DAVID KARP? We HANG OUT ALL THE TIME! He is SUCH a good friend of mine! I love his GIRLFRIEND! Isn’t she SOOOOOOOO TINY AND CUTE? DAVID KARP — I call ALL my good friends by their WHOLE name, like my friend MEGAN MCCAIN, AND RANDI ZUCKERBERG, it’s just a think I do. Where was I?
          RN’F’: Umm, tumb —
          JA: Oh yes! DAVID KARP! My DEAR, DEAR friend, DAVID KARP. I just LOVE his new girlfriend! She never puts a wrong Manolo forward, RIGHT? Isn’t she?
          RN’F’: Isn’t she what?
          JA: Right?! ISN’T SHE? Anyway, her boyfriend, my good friend DAVID KARP — the founder of tumblr — he and I went out a few times. It was so SWEET! He was so incredibly awkward and wonderfully twee and adorable, I could just EAT HIM UP! Anyway, it just didn’t work out because I was doing the whole ‘single thing’ and I just wasn’t ready to settle down, you know? I LOVED being single! So many dates! All the time! That was before I met my ex boyfriend JACK MCCAIN. I was so IN LOVE with JACK MCCAIN. I LOVED JACK MCCAIN SO MUCH. He bought me an IPAD for Valentines day, you know, I told him he SPENT TOO MUCH MONEY on it, but then this is A MCCAIN, who drives one of those JAMES DEAN cars, you know? Did you vote for JACK MCCAIN’S dad John?
          RN’F’: Well, honestly, I–
          JA: HAHAHAHA! YOU are SO funny! Is that your real hair?
          RN’F’: Umm, yes, you know, I suddenl-
          JA: I LOVE your hair! I am having SO MUCH FUN! WOOOOOO! ISN’T THIS FUN? I haven’t had THIS MUCH FUN since I dated JAKOB! Do you know JACKOB LODCAIN?
          RN’F’: Umm… was he on ‘Twin Peaks’?
          JA: HAHAHAH! YOU ARE SO FUNNY! I’m am going to tweet that! ‘Twin Peaks!’ Are we talking about my BREASTS again? HAHAH! OH, I’M GOING TO TWEET THAT, TOO! THIS IS SO FUN! I’M SO GLAD WE MET! You should follow me on twitter!

          My head hurts even trying to imagine taking that any further.

    • Okay, fashion cats, look at this fauxto (apologies in advance if it’s huge) … this may be the funniest donkey get-up I’ve seen yet …
      [img]http://www.flickr.com/photos/juliaallison/389567124/sizes/l/in/photostream/[/img]
      Isn’t that skirt meant to have a longer shirt that covers the satiny, unpoofy part?

    • That’s $11 New York State wine! $11 bunnies!

      Cut her some slack, that’s like a sixth of her weekly column take-home.

  11. my fellow donkologists, i issue a challenge: dig up the link to the picture of julia from last summer, riding cupcake in flip flops, wearing a monogrammed “julia” tank top (no helmet). someone posted it on tumblr when they spotted her at a traffic light.

    • Oh my god… I didn’t find it, but what in the crap hell is THIS?

      [img]http://www.google.com/url?source=imgres&ct=img&q=http://blog.juliaallison.com/Images/9.07.07%2520-%2520Cynthia%2520Rowley%2520Show%2520-%2520Julia%2520Allison.jpg&sa=X&ei=COHmTanGE4i8sAPnsb3tDQ&ved=0CAQQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNG5b8le_NmnmaxLMJlPbgvXV0omnQ[/img]

      • From the same page, once a mic hog, always a mic hog: http://vimeo.com/303114

        Why does she think she has any right to interrupt people like that? She is supposedly freaking the fuck out to be interviewing Tim Gunn (is it Dunn? I can’t tell, she interrupted and fumbled her words too many times. ‘Fashion leek’?) yet she feels compelled to rip the mic away from his face many times.

        God her improv is going to fucking SUCK. Who said they were interesting in signing up, but didn’t have the money? I recommend we start a fund. I would kick in.

        • Is she for real wearing some kind of housecoat with a cap-sleeved tee underneath to Fashion Week? She looks like she should be tossing grain to chickens in a dirt yard in Kansas.

          • Interesting though that her jowls are bigger than those ‘little miss’ cap sleeves.

        • Wow, she’s unbearable. That voice. And wow, she looked like she wanted to kill Natasha Bedingfield for dropping in. Very catty. And yeah, let Tim Gunn finish his sentence, god.

      • Am I drink for thinking she looks cute in this picture? I’m so glad her teeth are firmly in her face here.

        • Yes, she looks like an ordinary if somewhat plain person there, not like a bizarre grimacing version of Wayland Flowers’s grotesque marionette Madame.

          • Agreed. She looks plain and yet 1,000 times better than in any of her contortionist photos from the past few years.

        • she *does* look cute. No sausage curls! She would look so nice with short, straight hair.

          • Yes, yes, but she also looks puffy as hell in that dress, and you can see where she ‘fears’ straight on pictures. She DOES look slightly asymmetrical, and I don’t mean that as a body-snark. She has cultivated a million lifetimes of her right side, and therefore seeing her dead-on looks strange, somehow.

            She definitely looks more natural, and I think it wouldn’t be so jarring to me were it not for her insistence that her left-side-of-doom/dead-on be stricken from the internet record. Also, she looks like plastic-y here, which, again, just confuses me.

            Also, good stuff where I found this pic: http://blog.juliaallison.com/2007/09/

            Including her discussion of ‘fame’ and quoting her BBFLZ Rosie O’donnel. Interesting how little of that ‘fame’ stuff applies to her now that her star has gotten, well, nowhere, and after the little ‘reality bite’ of her hate-sites kicked in. She really thought she was the (fuck-you money) business back then.

          • Agreed, Pink Ruffled. She looks fresh and so clean, clean and a wee bit Bristol Palin circa 2010.

          • and this:
            “I saw R&J at Shakespeare in the Park earlier this summer with my mom, and for some reason it pissed me off that they fell in love after like, 2 minutes. It’s hard to feel badly for a lovelorn couple when they DON’T EVEN FREAKING KNOW EACH OTHER. Am I being too literal? It just rang hollow to me. I kept thinking “I want to shake these idiots! Does Romeo even know Juliet’s middle name? NO HE DOES NOT BECAUSE HE JUST MET HER 30 SECONDS AGO.”

            But now… now she’s just like Juliet, and Jack (Jack McCain) is Romeo! Except without that whole messy suicide thing. *sigh* so romantic. and tragic. Tragically romantic, really.

          • The R&J bit needs its own post. CHRIST. Although she did use the word “literally” correctly.

        • Cute? CUTE???

          Well, sure, if the skin tone of your legs matching the saddle while the shade of your face matches the whitewalls of the tires is considered CUTE

          That’s hella short frock to be galloping riding around town in, no?

      • Oh, oh, then there is this, about why women are attracted to married men. A goldmine!

        “It has to be an ego boost in some effed up world….”

        then:

        “…best case scenario, you get to live your life as a homewrecker, and then you get to tell your kids that mommy and daddy met when daddy hid his wedding ring and you were really naive!”

        So which was it for you all those times, Donks? “Huh huh huh.”

      • She mentions riding cupcake in flip flops in a post on 7/8/10 for the Havaianas flip flop give away and there are many posts that month about riding cupcake. The July 2010 archive is an absolute goldmine! Brit’s wedding, creepy pictures of the two of them, the online garage sale of her nasty stuff, moving to LA, the unretouched MonikaDeMeyer photos in the red Leger dress, her coming to terms with her body and her Kim Kardashian ass and the black Leger ” gift from a friend” limo photo shoot. So much awesome stuff.

        • She really does look cute here. But when I look at that immaculate clean bike, clean saddlebag, that outfit, and think of her (boasting about) riding around NYC, well in a few hours she’d be a sooty sweaty mess.

    • & wasn’t the caption something to the effect of:
      “The ass that launched a thousand blogs” ?

      • “The buns that launched a thousand websites.”

        Okay, so I was pretty close …
        Can she ever *not* contort?

      • She actually looks like she’s in reasonably good shape there, as opposed to more recent pictures. Riding bike and eating food = happy healthy body. Flopping on couch for binge/’cleanse’ cycles = not so much.

          • Hey, I resemble that remark (I actually do have Serena Williams-size calves myself, even though my main exercises are Pilates and swimming).

  12. So my friend asked me who Julia Allison was in an email today and all I could think to say was: Julia Allison is seriously a horrific person. I can’t even go into it because you will think I am insane and need to get out more – both of which are true but that is not the point. She is honestly the most awful person on the internet and that is saying something. 

    • I recently had a date ask me to expand when I casually mentioned “this blogger I hate.” I relayed a two sentence summary of our Julesy and he was sufficiently horrified.

      • Ooh, how’d you summarize her?

        “For sale: Gift card, slightly used.”

        • Hahaha, close enough.

          I basically said that she gets paid to promote things and that instead of doing her job (post-payment) she just brays about cupcakes and posts photos of glitter and sparkles instead of, you know, Sweden.

    • my new you$er name

  13. This just reminded me of the fact that I had a ticket to see Death Cab on Friday but had to sell it to my friend because I couldn’t get out of work. Tried to scalp in NYC tonight, but everyone and their mom wants to go. A little sad. Thanks, Julia, for reminding me.

  14. Death Cab’s new single is titled “You Are A Tourist”

    Someone should shout “You Are A Tourist” at Julie because thats exactly what she is: shallow, tacky and without a home.

  15. the return of the ineffable alexander marquardt!

    Just finished a wonderful dinner w my college girl friend @KristinThorne – now meeting up w another gtown friend, Alexander Marquardt! 🙂

  16. Julie, please stop lying. Everybody knows your “meetings” = escorting gigs.

    PS you need to start charging more for your “meetings” so Dadsers doesn’t have to pay for everything. Being a prostitute: yr doing it wrong.

    • I still love whoever called them “meeatings” or something. I might be spelling it wrong – but it was me eating… you get the idea.

    • Meetings = STILL trying to make the reality TV thing happen? Oh donkey. That just makes me sad for you.

      JuliaAllison
      Question for everyone: are there any reality shows in which you actually LIKE the main characters (or wish you were friends w/ them)? Who?
      55 minutes ago

  17. “Weiner denies tweeting the wiener, and there is no proof that the wiener even belongs to Weiner, but…”

    Takes one to know one & as far as lying dickheads go, Donkey: TAG, YOU’RE IT!

  18. She’s really trying to make this jetsetter thing happen. One week a month in nyc everyone! Doing what, no one knows.

    JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    @
    @DatingAndLost – I use the bike every week I’m here from May until Nov.
    10 hours ago
    »
    Julia Allison
    JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    @
    @DatingAndLost – I’m back here about a week every month 🙂
    10 hours ago
    »
    Julia Allison
    JuliaAllison Julia Allison
    @
    @DatingAndLost – I have one bike here (Cupcake) & one in Chicago (Pink Pedal) 🙂
    17 hours ago

    • @DatingAndLost – I’m back here about a week every month 🙂 | 10 hours ago

      For a New York County probation obligation, maybe?

    • If I’m not mistaken, she hasn’t been in New York since the end of April… so… jetsetterFAIL?

  19. julia has apparently rubbed off on taylor:

    Taylor Greason
    @sfmta_muni you should be ashamed charging for full year parking when I only need 2 mths…must be nice when your customers have no option!
    31 May

    • That’s your karmic payback for stiffing waitstaff out of tips for all those years, you whiny little bitch.

      • And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the unpleasant sensation of espresso out the nose.

        I’m sure awake now!

    • Mulia Assilon:
      @taylorgreason @joshuaforman – I love that you just tweeted each other. Awww, I’m getting warm fuzzies. xo boys

      Her fuzzies are getting warm?
      I thought she got those lasered off …

    • If he is actually into her, then he has to suck so fucking hard. Bitchy tweets like this suggest that’s the case….

  20. I’m stuck at the DMV Uptown and could really use a new funny post to get me through the next hour or two!! Come on jacy/jp help a brother out.

      • Look at how nice our mods are, Hoosier — they apologize for not providing us more content after one day. JP, Jacy, bless y’all’s hearts. You are doing God’s work in addition to your desk errands, and I appreciate it.

    • I’m still stuck on the 1st graph!

      Anthony Weiner yesterday spent the day on the grill after the obscene photographs, saying it was a good student sent to Seattle with his Twitter account – but the young woman insisted harasser was the culprit.

      W…T…F…?!? And WHY? Is Donkey’s fauckface fauxtograph on there?

      • From yet another outstanding article on that site:

        Brumfield claims that all bear one night in 2008, Madison Olivia Garcia tried to leave a park and dropped his head and causing his untimely death.billy-bob-thornton

        Mary! Time to get a REAL job!

    • Those things are weird automated bots reassembling actual stories. My huscat could give you chapter and verse on how they work; my English major’s understanding is that they spider ten or more stories about a topic and then just kind of shuffle the words together into some approximation of English sentences.

      • And then they through in a picture of a donkey, just for kicks! I found that page by doing an image search on “Anthony Weiner.” Oh, don’t ask why. I was shocked when that familiar face appeared on the first page of results.

  21. OT:
    Found this out today while doing some research for work. Unfortunately this information is past its use date with JAB but still made me chuckle.
    A female donkey is called a jennet or jenny. A male donkey is called … wait for it … a jack.
    The universe does bray in mysterious ways.

  22. Former Sassy editor Christina Kelly is friends with Donkey? Downgrade, Kelly. Major downgrade.

    • Some buyer named Christine, not this Christina, I’m pretty sure was the determination made elsewhere…

    • No, that’s not the Sassy editor, who is a Christina with an “a”. She has a kind of funnyish blerg.

      Though I am down on the whole Sassy empire right now because of Jane Pratt’s hideous new web joint, xojane.com, which is like Jezebel but even less feminininist. That said, the “Lube Stalker!” article has provided lots of laughs around the cathouse.

        • Haha, I remember Dirt and may well have the short run in my basement. I was a boy then and still think i am.
          Sad pratt’s online ventures aren’t doing so well. She was way pre Julia and proto multi media, worked hard and is smart and charming and ahead of trend, and I don’t think any one really has a reason to snark about her.

        • I am also an old and loved Sassy, which is why I feel so angry and betrayed by the stupid xojane.com bullshit.

      • Yeah, that was actually a joke. Donkey would never be friends with Christina Kelly. She’s an old and she has a blog. And we all know how Donkey feels about the olds blogging.

        • Although, can I get a round of high fives for everyone who knew who Christina Kelly is?

          • Did somebody say SASSY?

            (An old Phil Hartman SNL skit… please someone know what I am taking about)

          • I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I loved Phil Hartman. Never have gotten used to the idea that he went out the way he did. 🙁

          • I think he plays an editor at Sassy. Or someone that works there. And he says the word Sassy about 1000 times. I remember it being very funny when I was younger. I’ll see if I can find it.

          • I get tons of hits for it but can’t find the actual video of the skit 🙁

            Its ineffably effervescent. And indefatigable.

        • for Boomerang Slam:[img]http://www.sportressofblogitude.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/sassy-phil-hartman.jpg[/img]

  23. She posted two recent pictures on her fb. I guess she’s been revisiting her bulimia days because she looks REALLY thin, and also kind of pale and tired.

    • I know we always tell her to stop with the costumes and just throw on some jeans, but…..

      She always just gets things a little bit wrong or off. For having all the time in the world to put together a cute, stylish outfit she ends up doing a weird suburban wanna be chola circa 1998.

      • Nevermind. I guess her pics are public now? She looks fairly normal – jeans, not a ton of makeup. Good for her. All though she still has that shit eating smirk on her face with ol’ Ineffable. LOOK AT ME NOW, JACKYBOY!!

        • Speaking of shit-eating smirks…
          [img]http://guestofaguest.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/57004.jpg[/img]
          The caption on this one should be:
          “Why yes, yes I *do* swallow!”

          • I don’t see “I *do* swallow,” I see more of a — oh yes, good for me too, now I gotta run to the sink to spit it out.

            Was that gross? sorry.

    • [img]http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/247207_787587516155_1402715_39606239_7628187_n.jpg[/img]

      Based on her smug look the sex must have been fabulous.

        • Yes, but I can see how you might have thought it was from circa 2003 based on the belted mom jeans, crop top, name necklace and fucking Vera Bradley bag. Someone said it above .. even when she’s not trying hard or dressing up, she still looks off.

          • I’m going to give JA some credit and say I think she looks great here. Hair pulled back in a ponytail instead of the bobby-pin mullet or sausage curls (or both), minimal makeup, and wearing a tank and jeans. Best she’s looked in ages.

          • She’s still hiding her ass and only showing one side of her face. She does not look like this in person.

          • Pretty sure she’s still rocking bobby-pin mullet. Also, Alex M. must be a douche or have a small penis. I cannot understand why he sticks it in her.

          • Maybe all his better NY booty calls are married or partnered now, and since he’s usually in the Middle East he can’t develop new ones?

  24. OT but does anyone ever imagine Julia with a British accent she would hate? After all, she never specified what region she wanted, and there are approximately 4,775,888 different accents in the UK. I’d love to hear her try and sound smart with a Brummie or Manc accent.

    • Several of these comments could sum up not just her outfits, but Julia in general.

      “You look like you are trying to hard and your makeup is too heavy.”
      “This is the girl Mom warned me about.”
      “zzzzz…huh? Wha? Must have dozed off, because this girl’s BOR-RING!”
      “THE WORST PIECE OF SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN.”

      • I laughed out loud for 40 seconds over number seven. It looks like a satellite dish with rickets got pregnant.

        What the hell is wrong with her limbs? It’s not just her malformed legs her arms look all braciated wrong too?

    • What’s so crazy is how she is standing in each photo – that wide stance makes her look so wide, like she is about to birth a baby donkey…

      • But it’s high fashion! It’s Alice + Olivia!

        The red dress was the only acceptable outfit, though she screwed it up with bad accessories.

        • Holy shit – I just realized its not a coat but a dress. Oh, wait I’m sorry – its a coat dress.

      • I especially liked that one because she’s wearing that dress/coat/spacesuit NOT as a joke in a fashion week post farther up the page. SMH.

    • That is insane. First of all, she looks like crap in every photo (though it’s nice to see her mouth closed for a change) and everyone is spot-on with their torments in the comments. Who does that? “OH HAI I AM GOING TO POST PHOTOS OF MYSELF IN UNFLATTERING OUTFITS AND LET YOU MOCK ME”—what was she getting at there?

    • The comments on “straight from work” were killing me. That hemline is clueless.

    • A different opinion: I was a fan of JA at that time and this piece was one of the reasons why. It was self-deprecation done right – the entertainment value was obviously going to be the snark and she was in on the joke.

      Post-, as we know there’s typically been something off with her self-deprecation. When she & Forman tried something similar with his breakup speech, it was over the top and so she wanted to have things both ways (“look, look, I’m *really* letting flog me, I’m such a good sport… but you know this isn’t really me, right?”)

  25. Y’ALL. I had one of the funniest dreams ever last night, and obviously my first order of business is to come tell you catladies! If it gets too long, sorry, but here goes:

    Ok so I had just started dating Sir Yack and I was vacationing with the whole McCain clan – sans John who was in the White House attending to presidential business (bc for some reason, he had just been elected prez) Some issue came up where John was busy doing war shit, but they needed someone to represent the US, so Cindy was chosen to go. And she decided I should come with her to help rep the USA. So we’re on Air Force One flying from Cali to Wash, DC and as we’re flying over Chicago we looked down (the bottom of the plane was glass?) and could see Donk standing on the balcony of the OMGDowntownCondo! braying “NOOOOO, that should be meeeee!”

    I LITERALLY woke up laughing and then decided that I have the best dreams when I take Tylenol PM…

  26. “”Nobody wants to see a famous person yell at their assistant – even if the assistant is wrong,” @MeganAlagna on Paris Hilton’s reality show”

    REALLY JULIA? REALLY?! I KANT

  27. Is it just me, or does this guy’s name remind anyone else of shrek?
    [img]http://oi52.tinypic.com/21pijs.jpg[/img]

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