‘Shramapalooza

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Because this self-serving Donk-Tweet is just so ridiculous and sad:

Lights out at the ashram, goodnight! Happy Memorial Day weekend to all the wonderful, brave troops & veterans. Thank you for your service.

… I’ll let F. Scott Bitchgerald speak for all of us on this holiest of bi-annual Ashram Holiday Weekends, also known as ‘Shramapalooza:

We are all going to sleep in our own metaphorical ‘shram tonight catpeople.
I will live as Herself this long weekend. I will take deep breaths and think about myself. I will talk at my friend about myself and ensure she gets no sleep. I will read my NY Post blurb over and over again until I need LASIK and pass out.

In the morning I will do a downward dog into a pancake. *Shudder*

Pancakes. Pancakes with a side of pancakes. Could this world be any more cruel?

167 COMMENTS

  1. Not only will I never the Donkey, I’m so over the Donkey I need another word for “vacating the vom-spattered (shower) stall.”

    Reruns are so boring. When does the new season of cray-cray begin? I don’t remember if it’s 48 or 72 hours post-ashram.

  2. [img]http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/filestorage/seek-geographic-solutions-cry-for-help-ecard-someecards.jpg[/img]

  3. Sending pointless tweets is perfectly in line with every spiritual retreat’s goals of attaining spiritual balance through quiet reflection and solitude.

  4. Good *hiccup* luck *hiccup* Juliar! Enjoy your weekend at the Assram. I’ll be getting drunker *hiccup* than I am now by the pool this lovely weekend. Have fun, downward dog!

  5. Wait, wait… she is taking her dog to the assram? Not, like her ohm, stretch, take pictures of her shadow doing a downward dog ‘dog,’ but, like, that little puffy white one that lived with Jack for a while?

    What kind of fucking assram allows a depressed dog coming in and shit about?

  6. JACY…help me! My NPD mother has been staying with me all month to visit her grandchildren (I live 1000 miles away from her, of course.) it’s gone ok for the most part but in the last 48 hours she has turned fucking nasty and is giving me dig after dig. she is insulting my husband, me, our lifestyle, home, children…ugh. i am about to lose it after hanging in there ok for most of the month.

    i know you know exactly what i am talking about….send me words of strength!!!

    • Honestly, I’d sit her down and tell her if it doesn’t stop, you’d like her to leave. Tell her you’d be willing to pitch in half the cost of a hotel room for the remainder of her visit but you do not tolerate abuse from houseguests, not matter who they are.

      P.S. Have SO been there.

      • remain calm, don’t engage in arguments, simply state your point

        don’t respond to accusations

        don’t attempt to argue with a crazy person

    • I just wanted to say I applaud your strength in lasting a month. I haven’t talked to my mother for eight years because I was fed up with the kind of behavior you’re encountering now. I agree with Jacy’s advice. I did something similar the last time my mother came to visit…which caused the last, estranging blowout. Be prepared for her to get even more insulting and abusive when you set that boundary! I’ll keep you in my thoughts – and, again, kudos for lasting this long before ending up a Gawker headline. 🙂

      • thanks for the advice, fellow catladies. i did end up getting nasty back at her, and sure enough, she turned the whole thing around and claimed that i was abusive and that she would no longer be staying with me for future trips. my brother lives nearby and she claims she is only happy when staying with him. (he is the perfect child: accomplished, rich, etc., and doesn’t fight her on anything.) notice however, that he is also living 1000 miles from her. anyway, i now feel drained and depressed. she’ll be gone in a few days and i will find myself again. in the meantime, i’ll be tuning into my favorite online soap opera for an escape!!!

        • It is scary how similar this is to all my dealings with my own loon. Thankfully my older sister pretty much raised me; I moved out at 15 to live with her in order to get away from the old crazy lady.

        • they cannot take criticism; everything is always someone else’s fault

          i have seen the one in my life get shaking angry if i say something as mild as, “please don’t put plastic things in the microwave”

        • Wow. Amazing how similar this is to my mother’s behavior eight years ago.

          (When she wanted to come stay with us — with my ill-behaved niece and nephew — without consulting us first, I asked her to please stay with my aunt because my cat had just died, I was having trouble breastfeeding, my kittydaddy was teaching something like seven adjunct classes that semester, and my older son was having trouble in school. Of course she turned it back on me. She enlisted my sister and I was accused by them both of being — among other things — an abusive mother because… drumroll… my son had good table manners and a large vocabulary.)

          Anyhow, stories like yours and Jacy’s remind me of what a horrible misfortune (to say the least) it would be if Julia ever had a child. Can you imagine if she had a daughter? Any disagreements or criticism would be replied to with “You’re just jealous!” and the entire relationship would be a competition. (I know; my own mother wanted to date high-school friends of mine while I was in high school so she could show she “still had it.”) It’s bad enough how she treats her dog — why does she think she’d be even adequate as a mother, much less anything other than an abusive disaster?

          • “an abusive mother because… drumroll… my son had good table manners and a large vocabulary”

            … said, let me guess, by someone who can’t hold a fork and speaks in words of single syllables…because they always blame you for your strengths

          • Oddly, she’s intelligent (though never had a chance to go to college), just weirdly competitive with me. When I got into graduate school, her response was “oh, you don’t have enough education already?” I don’t understand it — just chalk it up to her mental illness.

          • my own mother wanted to date high-school friends of mine while I was in high school so she could show she “still had it”

            WHAT THE HOLY FUCK NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

            If you and Frances Bean Cobain are ever at a cocktail party together, you will have a lot to talk about.

        • she turned the whole thing around and claimed that i was abusive and that she would no longer be staying with me for future trips

          So when you step back from this a bit, you can see that this is a giant “WIN” for you, yes?

          • I don’t mean to be dismissive, but you now never have to invite this toxic person for long stay-with visits again. (Of course, I am sorry that you missed out on good mothering, and that your children will miss out on good grandmothering from this side of the family, but if this shitty mother chooses to flounce from your home, maybe embracing it as a blessing in disguise will be a net win in the long run?)

          • you’re not wrong, albie! but i suspect she’ll be back. she can’t stand not being the “fun grandma!” in the kids’ lives.

    • I haven’t talked to my parents in about 5 years. I’m sure my reasons are a lot different than yours. Mine are super conservative but, moreso than that, they raised us in a pretty unsparing and brutal way. I still talked to them through college, even though it caused a lot of darkness for me (lots of repressed anger), because I felt obligated and because they were very financially supportive and their demanding ways did have some positive payoffs. However, in the end, if someone won’t change and you’ve given them many chances, it’s not fair to keep them around screwing up your spouse or childrens’ life. I knew my parents would cast a dark shadow over my life and they never took change seriously. I hope you don’t; have to do this, but if you do… you’re not alone at all.

  7. Julie uses that ashram like a hotel/office space. Seriously, her cheapness has been well documented and staying at the ashram is way less expensive than a NYC hotel.

    • All the Sephora cards in the world aren’t going to get her a room for the night.

    • I honestly find it depressing, to the point of actually almost feeling sorr.. no, scratch that. There is something weirdly anti-social , a sublimated hostility perhaps, the way she flees to the swampy ashram during social holidays like Thanksgiving or Memorial Day weekend, generally fun for most people.
      (Yes, I’m aware of Turkey Day family stress, the horror stories, but honestly, most people enjoy the non-denominational secular holiday fine, the majority I might guess. )

      Anyway, there’s something self-abnegating, something off and some sort of buried anger, going away to do her ashram bullshit when everyone else is getting together. I am lucky in that I treasure my relations with my parents; a lot of gay guys my age don’t have that. And life is fleeting. I thought she had a good relation with her parents: what is she fleeing? At 40, all I know is, treasure the time you have with the ones you love. Be with them when you can, they won’t be here forever. Flaunting your self-denial at the Ashtonram when everyone else is getting together..well, it sems like teenage petulance. She will regret it one day, I think.

      • i feel like in this instance, it’s to hide the fact that she had no plans for the weekend and didn’t get invited anywhere. i’m sure anyone she would normally glom onto already had plans and (shocker!) didn’t invite her to come along.

        • Heading to the Ashtonram was probably the only feasible excuse Donkey could come up w/ for being in NYC when OMG!Hugo!British!Doctor!Penis! was coincidentally also going to be there.

  8. I know the plotlines are getting a bit stale (heartbreak! ashram! peripatetic life!) but she just introduced a mysterious new character named Hugo; she met him three years ago but hasn’t mentioned him since! He’s British! And a doctor! And Oxford!

    The Julia Allison Trainwreck Variety Hour is “literally” my favorite show.

    • But on her blergh she said they are just friends! Just like Taylor! Just friends, bunnies!

      • Friends who fuck! Cause I still got it, bunnies! Everyone wants to fuck me! Just ignore the fact that I threw myself at them!

      • I don’t usually feel compelled to point out, publicly, something like, “I’ve only had two or three girls properly break my heart — quoth random friend.”

        What in the lilly fucking hell is the point of tweeting that, if not intended to imply that romantic pursuits are ahoove? I mean, it is a dumbasfuck thing to tweet in any case — without reason or humor — but makes even less sense when tweeted outside the context of a romantic endeavor.

        Ugh. She is so dumb, that even the dumbest theories are just too dumb to even imagine anyone being that dumb.

  9. I think Lilly needs this ‘shram more than anyone right now.

    What is PETA’s stance on dog air travel? I’m pretty sure Lilly has flown more miles than I ever will in my lifetime. Hope she earned dividend miles for treats or personal days away from bagheir.

  10. Perhaps this time, the ashram invited Julia because she’s a valuable cautionary tale for the ashram’s other guests.

  11. CONSPIRACY THEORY TIME! Donkey has covered her raftass by bringing w/ her an alibi to her unwavering presence at the ashtonram, correct? I wonder WTH Partner in Crime Lasagna is up to this weekend, in addition to dog-sitting Lilly …

    # I just think Donkey has something up her sleeve & this is all I got 🙂

    • Would it be over dramatic to say that she ALWAYS has something up her sleeve?

      • And that it always, always, blows up in her face? No, it would not be over-dramatic to say such a thing.

        • Now I’m picturing Julia as Wile E. Coyote with Acme dynamite blowing up in her face.

    • Oooh, I wonder what hijinks are about to ensue? Someone hacking into Julia’s private Vimeo pornos while she’s off being too enlightened to realise their nefarious doings? Jack gets a late-night sobbing phonecall from the Palins’s lawyer? Lilly logs onto RBNS to let us know Cindy was always threatened by Julia’s tiny cuteness? MY BREATH, IT IS BATED.

      • Some “revelations” about Pancakes that show just how much he loved/worshipped/stalked her. Something that will put him in a bad light and her in what she thinks is a good one.

        • “Something that will put him in a bad light and her in what she thinks is a good one?”

          I think they already did this.

          It went something like: “he’s asked me to move in with him.”

          • No, something post-breakup. Like she did to:

            [redacted] – repeatedly exposed his alleged mental illness, then demanded he buy her a Mac Air

            Prom King – “somehow” her private videos of him looking like a douche were made public and leaked, and his real name was leaked on RBNS

            Codename TK – his name was leaked on RBNS

            That’s all I can remember off the top of my head

        • Ideas: he cheated on her, or he abused Lilly. Something that makes Julia supposedly blameless.

  12. Does her friend have a car? I think in addition to running out of couches to surf and needing cheap lodging (to hide out on a long weekend with no invites/no plans), donkey needed a ride as well.
    I can’t bear to think about that poor dog. Gah. Does her friend have an S.O.?
    Sounds like a donkey plan to me: drop off the dog with the bf, get the gf to drive …

  13. So it is my 25th college reunion this weekend and I have encountered quite a bit of humblebrag and just flat-out brag, but Donkerina is still the most barefaced narcissist on my radar.

  14. OK, I have to think that the Hugo screenshot is to get Jack’s attention. I simply do not know how the autocorrect on the iPhone would get erect out of trying to type “text.”

    • or Taylor’s . . . remember, wasn’t it Taylor who originally turned Jabba on (ew) to damnyouautocorrect?

    • Word. I tend to doubt half the “damn you autocorrect” posts anyway–so many of them are something like “Looking forward to anally felching you!” “OMG I MEAN SEE! LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU! LOLOLOLOL!”

    • That was tots an attention grab.

      She is just that dumb. And desperate. And also pathetic.

      • How WOULD auto-correct turn “text” into “erect?” I don’t have an iPhone and my Berry doesn’t do it. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

        • Maybe it auto-filled w/ an often-texted word unique to a paid escort’s Donkey’s phone …

        • I tried it on my iPhone. UM no, it somehow knows the word “text”. There’s no fucking way it would change it to “erect”. And even then, you still have to hit “send”. She’s so full of shit.

  15. Jesus wept, how many of the “deep-throating comestibles” pictures are there? You seem to have an inexhaustible supply.

  16. Sigh. This Memorial Day weekend is already turning out terribly. OT but I found out my cat has the Feline Leukemia Virus today. She’s about a year and a half and was a stray, so I can’t say I’m surprised, but I’m just really sad. Innocent little animals get horribly ill and this bitch right here gets to take a lifelong vacation (while neglecting her poor animal, might I add) with daddy-issue stipends. I spent most of today crying for my poor little girl. She’s sick and Julia Allison exists with no real-world problems. What is this world even.

    (Do any of you catladies have FeLV+ kitties? I’m waiting on my cat’s IFA test results to see how badly it’s progressed thus far… 🙁 )

    • I have two cats and I don’t know much about it but I don’t think it’s terribly serious or a killer. I may be wrong? Perhaps confusing it with kitty HIV? But I think it’s totally controllable and no biggie. Don’t quote me!!!

      • Thanks! I found out today that it’s actually more of a killer than kitty HIV (aka FIV), and most cats who test positive young don’t live past 4 years. My vet said she could go anywhere from weeks to months to a couple years. I’m a-scared 🙁

        But yeah both similarly wreck a cat’s immune system, there’s just an extra level to FeLV, apparently. Like most FIV treatments won’t work for FeLV cats. I’m getting discouraged writing this. Womp womp.

      • Hoping she’s in that 15%! 🙂 As long as it’s not in her bone marrow. I’m just bummed about this. Thanks for the responses <3

      • I had a cat with FLV — he was diagnosed when he was 5, and lived to be 12 years old! He was also an outdoor cat who was scrappy, caught birds all the time and generally had a great life. Good luck with your fuzzball… I hope it all turns out for the best.

        • I disapprove of pets killing wildlife. It’s not natural and it’s not cute — the wild things work hard for a living and the pets are, well, pets

          Smart cat owners should know better

          http://mx.reocities.com/RainForest/Vines/5937/killercats.html

          Worldwide, cats may have contributed to more extinctions of bird species than any other cause except direct habitat destruction.
          Killings by cats are threatening the survival of Least Terns, Piping Plovers, Snowy Plovers, Loggerhead Shrikes, Kirtland’s Warblers, marsh rabbits, several rodent and reptile species that birds of prey feed on, and a host of native species in Australia.
          Cat predation is a root cause of a 10% annual decline in U.S. meadowlark populations and the ongoing loss of California’s state bird, the quail.
          A study in Illinois found that cats were killing 2.5 billion vertebrates per year in a 26,000 square mile area.
          Ornithologist Rich Stallcup estimates that there are over 44 million cats outdoors in the U.S. killing perhaps as many as 4 million songbirds daily.
          A four year study indicated that the 1.2 million pet cats in Wisconsin kill 400 million animals each year, including about 39 million birds.
          The 5 million cats in Canada are estimated to kill 42 to 70 million birds annually

          • I know nothing about this and have no opinion on it, BUT have you read “Freedom” by Jonathan Franzen? One of his characters is into this issue and hated outdoor domestic cats who killed birds. He also formed an organization to preserve the somethingsomething warbler in West Virginia. Good book either way 🙂

          • There are almost no native songbirds left in Hawai’i due to predation by domestic cats. Cats shouldn’t be allowed to roam unsupervised — I’ve never figured out why that’s generally illegal for dogs (depending on jurisdiction) but not cats. All eight of my cats stay in my basement (except the one who likes to walk on a leash.)

        • That’s very good to hear! My vet (who I understand is just trying to be realistic with me, even though it sucks) told me that younger cats who are diagnosed have a harder time fighting it off…it’s kind of the opposite of FIV in this way (with FIV adult cats who are diagnosed struggle more than the little ones). I think adult cats have a better chance of living longer with FeLV, but I’m waiting to hear if there’s still a chance for mine (she’s about 1.5, could be younger) 🙂 I’ll hear about her IFA test soon!

          Thanks again, I appreciate it.

  17. Contest!!!! Write a limerick that involves the rhyming of “‘shram” and “Guam.”

    GO GO GO BUNNIES

    • (mostly from the bad poetry generator, w/ a couple of amendments)

      At a ‘shram, Donkey fondles pelts & contemplates another sham
      Life, full of problems, is hard
      She is deeply, hopelessly in self-love with expired ham
      As the tide of time & Botox flows relentlessly onward

      FlapJack invited her to the IHOP ala Guam
      But lo, the fish out of water stank
      Things are not always as they appear
      Yes, his expression remains oblivious & blank

      Poor Lilly was sent to shit on Lasagna’s floor
      & felt much better about their fall from grace.
      Donkey quietly opens the ‘shrams refrigerator door
      Cookie dough is about to disappear without a trace

    • Ok. (and to make up for the disaster I was last night)

      Not the smartest one, our little Donk
      Can’t be easy when your sex sounds like honk
      Pancakes offered redemption in Gaum
      If she’s only stay calm
      Are there any Sons of Privilege left to bonk?

      The healthy well adjusted Julia she is today
      Just had to leave with a nasty PR bray
      No, she won’t go to Gaum
      She’ll go to Chernobyl ashram
      Sure Pancakes’ Mom wishes thats where she’d stay

    • There once was a donkey named Julia
      Whose habits were very peculia
      She wussed out on Guam
      But loves an ashraum
      Her NPD, bunnies, will foolia

      That Baugher chick known as the Donk
      About all her heartbreak will honk
      She could have had Guam
      But instead has ashram
      And perhaps some new penes to bonk?

    • Gold digging Donkey had prospects in Gaum
      Robin’s daughter handled it with Aplomb
      She was Selfish and Lazy
      Inconsiderate and Crazy
      Now she cries in an upstate Ashram

    • A donkey less cute than her namesake
      Failed to hook-up with a pancake
      When he said, “I must Guam!”
      She fled to ash-ram
      after many a press release so fake.

      or

      A donkey who sought fuck-you money,
      hitched her wagon to a rich honey.
      When he left her for Guam,
      she got her ass-rammed,
      content to make bucks with her cunny.

      They aren’t amazing, but I could write limericks all night.

      There once was a depressed shih-tzu
      who struggled with holding her poo.
      She said, “I listen to brays
      for half of my days…
      If you were me, you would shit too!”

  18. Restylame, the hubscat and I have an FIV kitty, and he’s now six and truckin’ along just fine. We’ve had the tests and vaccines done for our other two cats and they’re both negative. It really sucks and I’m so sorry yours is FIV positive, but they can live full, healthy lives 🙂

  19. Oh, meant to add (about FIV), our three cats are indoor cats, which I think has helped our FIV kitty stay healthy.

    • Thanks! The vet’s receptionist also has FIV cats but mine is FeLV so I got discouraged when she said, “Yours is a little worse.” Eesh. Either way, thanks for the encouraging words 🙂 maybe it’ll be okayish!

  20. “Eat Pray Love” is her guidebook in life.

    “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
    A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

    A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
    — Elizabeth Gilbert

    I found my soulmate but he dumped me but he’s my soulmate forever and ever and any new relationship he has even when he’s married won’t be like ours! Soulmates. So blessed.

    • That entire passage is just so fucked up. What the fuck is that? It’s a lesson in remaining obsessed with someone who didn’t really think you were all that great. Jesus.

    • Gilbert deserves a reputation for wisdom every bit as much as Donkey deserves a reputation as an Internet expert. If Donkey expresses admiration for someone, you can be pretty sure that they’re a proficient bullshit artist, because that’s what she really admires: the ability to achieve prominence without merit or content.

    • I don’t think Elizabeth Gilbert (and Julia Allison)’s definition of “soulmate” is quite on par with mine….

  21. That is so stupid. Spiritual master? This chick sounds like a nutjob. Eat Bray Love, is more like it.

  22. Julia at the Ashram: a downwardly mobile Donkey doing the downward facing dog (while humblebragging and soliciting compliments from everyone around her).

  23. In other news, ala Eat, love, Pray, Adriend is actually going (moving!) to India. The link to his blog seems broken right now, so here’s a C&P

    DEPARTURE
    I am preparing to leave the apartment that I’ve lived in for the past two years, my first real apartment where I moved after I left school. I’ve grown up here. I remember the first time I walked into the empty little studio after receiving the keys, standing in the middle of the space frightened but excited about having a place that was truly my own. Since that day, the apartment became my oasis, my space to create and grow. I wrote two novels here. After a few months in the apartment, I was hired at VIBE. As my career progressed, the apartment became more and more comfortable. The first year I had neither an air conditioner for the New York summer nor a desk at which to write. My first novel was written alternately on top of my bed and on my lap in an armchair.

    Now this nest I have built is being dismantled and in two days it will be empty. I will also be on a plane for India, with my return unsure. I don’t know when or where I’ll be returning. I only know that I need a change in my life.

    Things in New York have become too comfortable, too predictable. I need to grow. And for that, I need new experiences, a different environment, and new challenges. I don’t know what awaits me in India, but I know it will be profoundly different from the reality that I’ve lived in New York these past two years.

    Rather than put my things in storage, I’ve decided to sell everything and start fresh. I want to be completely unencumbered; all my possessions packed into two suitcases.

    I’ve spent the last few evenings seeing friends and walking the streets at night. It feels like I’m saying goodbye to the city. I know it’s not a final goodbye, an adieu, in French. New York will also be a part of my life. This city has made me the person that I am. We are forever entwined.

    I am excited and nervous about what lies ahead, mostly because it is entirely unknown. This used to make me nervous – I used to feel a constant anxiety about the future, trying to figure out my next steps. For the majority of my life, I’ve never been happy in the present; I dwelled in the theoretical future. It is only recently that I have learned to have faith in myself and trust in the universe. It is precisely the uncertainty about the future that makes life exciting and worth living. What is the fun in reading a story whose end is already known?

    I will be returning to my roots and blogging from India, sharing my experiences and revelations. It will be a pleasure to rekindle this conversation. Until then…namasate.

      • I suspect he’ll come away w/ an appreciation for entitlement — something Donkey will never ever do. Also in direct opposition to Donkey (& MMBH, [Jordacted], Meghannaise), he actually writes well, so I look forward to reading about his experience in India.

        I can’t say why, I have no idea, but he’s grown on me — if I had to pick who to be stuck in a room w/ for a few hours, out of he or any past & present NS twit, it’d definitely be him.

    • ha, this guy is going to have a wake-up call he steps off the plane in india. 99% of it ain’t dreamy and magical like the movies or yoginis make it out to be.

      i have a feeling he’ll be running back to the states soon enough.

      • A good friend of mine is from India and married a white Irish guy. He’s been there with her several times, so I asked how he liked it. He wasn’t hating on India, but he did definitely say every time he goes he has a mini-breakdown, not only because of the abject poverty everywhere but also because of the complete lack of privacy. So I imagine that people who think it’s going to be a spiritually calming environment the minute they step off the plane are in for a rude awakening.

        • When I was a child, the family went on a Caribbean cruise, and the destitution in the streets put me off all first world / third world vacation tourism destinations forever

      • Okay, let’s not be fooled bunnies, according to his twatter, Adriend is going to Delhi, Paris, Mexico City and then LA, I don’t quite think he’s off on a slum tour.

    • Adrien Field, The Most Important Person Ever, should seriously not have to put up with you people.

      http://getoffmyinternets.net/2009/10/17/adriend-continues-to-be-offended-by-the-poors/

      Why do people on buses generally smell like shit? I just sprayed my cologne on the girl next to me. She really needed it.about 24 hours ago from TweetDeck

      This entire trip out of the city has been one prolonged attack on the senses. Convinced my dog will have pooed on the floor also.about 23 hours ago from TweetDeck

      Smokers have reduced olfactory range. Can’t begin to imagine this stench if my lungs were virgins.about 23 hours ago from TweetDeck

    • I have to applaud our little friend (fiend?). Insufferable as he is, and as sick as I am of these “my first apartment, my first New York” narcissist bullshit anecdotes I seem to be reading more and more of, he is expanding his horizons and seeing the world. Much more than we can say for pretty princesses Mary, Julia, etc.

    • Lol, he just can’t afford to live in Manhattan anymore. No shame in that, but spare us the bullshit about how he and NYC are “entwined” since uh, 2009. NYC laughs and says, “Who are you again?”.

  24. Running off to India? Dumped fired caught stealing total breakdown or what else would drive a vain and vengeful twit with only the tritest and meanest views to do this? It reads like a departure note for a long rest at the sanitarium

  25. is she really at the ashram or banging someone?

    Well, come on its Julia..her going somewhere to get enlightened is like asking someone to hit their head upon a wall multiple times

    • Jelly! The times I’ve spent over the years on Fire Island have been remarkably cleansing. I’m sober, so I’ve been able to just have fun and meet people and forget about the “real” world and stay away from blackout-induced craziness. Last year, I was out there about two weeks, and I’m hoping to go for a month this year. We don’t really have anything like it in Chicago, so maybe that’s why I like it so much, but I’ll be eternally grateful to my Brooklyn ex for taking me there for a month at his family’s home a few years back. Can’t wait for this year! 🙂

    • Deeply jelly. A dear friend of mine, who has become late (to quote Mma. Ramotswe), used to take a beautiful place in Pines every summer. I remember parties that just knocked my socks off, and swimming in the pool while the deer browsed in the decorative borders…

      • I went with the parents when I was tiny and the enduring memory is sand everywhere, on the staircase inside the house, in my underwear …

          • If Indian women are thinner, it must be because they have limited access to cupcakes. See, bunnies, cupcakes need to be illegal so Julia can be thin!

            Also, all Indian women seem so good at applying eyeshadow. How do they do it?!?!

            Also, I love this thread.

    • Someone who was known for hating on poors, fats, uglies, is now going to visit a country of destitution and beggary? Yes there are brilliant areas in the cities, but the gap between poor and rich is overwhelming. Maybe it’s a bit of, if you have a dollar you will be rich?

      • Just woke up, feel like I am still dreaming. Do y’all mean to say that fey elf Adrien, Mary’s traveling companion, is forsaking NYC for INDIA?!!?? The world is marvelous strange, if that is indeed the case.

  26. Does anyone think that these trips to “ashram” are meant to really cover up her partying it up (i.e. drinking) to celebrate the holidays? Why isn’t she celebrating Thanksgiving or Memorial Day? I don’t get it. Although it’s entirely possibly that no one invited her to party with them (outside her parents), so ‘shramapalooza is a way for her to cover that up.

    • The latter would be my educated guess, given Donks’ preoccupation with holidays. She is preemptively visiting the ashram so as not to look upspoken for.

      • Memorial Day calls for a red white and blue bikini, whilest having red white and blue nails!

        • I am imagining the least tasteful cocktails to serve at a Memorial Day bash. Pearl Harbors, of course. And Kamikazes. And Depth Charges.

          • Well, Christine is drinking.

            Me: Hey – time for evening satsang!*
            Christine: Um … I’m going to skip it.
            Me: You haven’t done anything the entire weekend!
            Christine: I did 30 minutes of meditation yesterday morning.
            Me: That doesn’t count.
            Christine: I ate every meal. That counts!
            Me: You’re an ashram deadbeat!
            Christine: I’m doing stuff! Just not ashram stuff.

          • Yeah, I didn’t think she looked very … yoga-ish, but geez, if she dodged Donkey all weekend, she’s not much of an alibi either …

    • I was just coming in here to say this. Pardon me if it’s been said above but, she is running away from the fact that she has absolutely no life.

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