And So It Begins

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Sometimes it’s just all too predictable. I say by July she’ll be Tweeting about how “love was right in front of me all along, and I pushed it away. I am so blessed to have realized just as I reach my expiration date that my best friend is truly my Mr. Right.”

And Pancakes, are you listening? She could totally have T-bonz, you know. Totally! She totally, totally could! And he’s going to STANFORD, by the way! No stupid Navy telling him what to do! And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Pancakes, but she seems to be dropping hints on a fairly regular basis that Bonesy has quite the bone in his pants. And you’re kind of … well … you know … short.

175 COMMENTS

      • She did not! She doesn’t do that anymore! It was a New Year’s resolution! And you all know (and MarMar Beach Hair can attest) how seriously she takes resolutions!! Also, she is LIUing! She had it engraved in her arm for goodness’ sakes!

  1. I like how he’s simply “Taylor” but Pancakes, the man she “moved in with,” was Jack McCain. I wonder why that is?

      • I’m assuming that Donkey includes Randi’s last name to avoid confusing her with the James Randi Educational Foundation.

          • Or at least they’d mock her beliefs in astrology and in the toxicity of various foods.

    • “Greason” looks so ugly on the phone. Neither tiny nor cute.

      I wonder if she’ll make him change his name to “Allison”?

    • I hope this is short-lived because everytimr I see his name it freaks me out because it is the same as mine.
      I also get freaked out in zoos and other public places when I hear my name called only to see a little girl respond. When I was a boy I was the only Taylor. I hope the name goes out of circulation for a couple of generations because it certainly feels cheapened.

    • Jacy, you took the words right out of my mouth. Glad I’m not the only one who caught that!

      • Normally don’t care about people’s use of cunt, but your use “faggot” indicates you probably enjoy saying “cunt” for the wrong reasons.

        You aren’t some kind of bigot, right?

  2. Since chocolate and sugar are evil, wouldn’t the presence of it mean they’re both in hell?
    I’m not too well versed in Donkey theology.

        • He’d have to get his adenoids out first, no? The man never closes his mouth! He’s like a seven-year-old with a head cold and an aversion to Mom’s Kleenex.

          • What the what?

            Kosa
            Meet Taylor Kosa Greason. He is 24 years old, single, and the proud owner of a diet piggy. His lats are big, and his game is bigger. This space is for him.

          • Okay, that “::shudder::” link is a freakin’ goldmine of greasy lulz.

          • damn, he and julia definitely belong together, she can totally teach him how to give wish boxes as inexpensive birthday gifts:

            taylor is the cheapest guy you’ll ever meet. he doesn’t believe in tipping. remember steve buschemi in the movie ‘resevoir dogs’? well, that’s taylor. if he ever takes a cab anywhere, he will tip occasionally. but only after waiting to see if anyone else pays. and if he does tip, it’s always in the ballpark of pocket change. so, for example, a $6.70 cab ride will net the driver a hefty bonus of $0.30, if taylor has anything to do with it.

            maybe this is part of why they didn’t work out before: greasy was not willing to open his wallet enough to julia’s liking. so, for that, I almost want to say “you go, taylor!” except I hate people who are so cheap…so…I don’t know how to feel here.

          • It looks like a little hatesite made by disgruntled roommate(s), yes?

            Someone should probably archive it before he whines it out of existence.

          • (guess how bored I am?)

            Taylor Kosa Greason anagrams:
            -A Lasagne Rook Story
            -A Arrogates Sky Loon
            -A Karate Gross Loony
            -A Kangaroo Loser Sty
            -A Koala Stoners Orgy
            -A Kraal Oysters Goon
            -A Arrant Gooses Yolk
            -A Salary Stroke Goon
            -A Astray Snorkel Goo

          • @Albie – What is that?? Obviously someone thinks he’s a Hidendouche (credit – RRR).

        • You’re interested despite his donkumented history of bestiality?

    • I hope you mean the chocolate. Donkey obviously keeps TayTay Greasy’s tiny balls in her heart-shaped, quilted “Chanel” handbag.

    • NO, you cannot want to hit the T-bonerz, dude banged a donkey and BFFed a donkey, clearly there is something very wrong with him. Please cleanse your mind by going to stare at photos of George Michael or someone.

      • Yup, I didn’t really have anything against him before, but dude, pick your balls off the floor. She OBO’d you hard, essentially cheated on you, and now she’s crawling back, and it’s no big deal.

        Waffles, maybe it’s time you stop looking for love and take the time to look for your testicles.

      • He’s taking the class that involves getting easy and desperate poon.

        [img]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llb1twynHa1qb01q0.gif[/img]

  3. Julia Booger Greasy! Julia Booger Greasy! It was always supposed to be that way. (Okay, yeah, I admit I was cheering for a Booger Pancakes wedding, but I really really just want a Booger wedding.)

    • You know if it happens that she’s going to feel a certain amount of resentment because Greasy isn’t from a famous family.

  4. I know it’s almost summer and all, so it’s par for the course, but I’m getting bored with reruns of The Donkey Show.

    • Maybe she’ll adopt an adorable orphan, like they did on The Brady Bunch and Happy Days and All in the Family?

      • If any adoption agency allows her to bring home anything with a mental capacity greater than a fruit fly, I will know it’s time to give up and take cyanide caplets.

      • If she starts dating Ted McGinley, then we’ll know for sure that the Donkey Show is in its final season.

  5. Why would she even post such an insipid conversation? Who on earth would find this interesting or relevant or funny besides her? Does she really think anyone cares beyond those of us who like to make fun of how batshit insane she is?

    No one cares. Ugh.

  6. Also “biting the tech magic bullet?” How many fucked up metaphors are in that one nonsensical term? Stop trying to be smart.

      • LOL exactly. I thought of a vibrator. That saying doesn’t mean whatever the fuck you think it means you stupid wench.

    • On that note, I’m sure it’s been discussed in length here, but how *do* you post an image?

      • Look underneath the Post Comment button. It says this:

        Add images to a comment with [img]URL[/img] or by clicking here.

        Click “here” and paste the URL. Easy peasy. I think using capital letters for the img tag doesn’t work.

  7. Pancakes is short, but so is Greasy. (For that matter, so is Ferris.)

    Are we really sure which of them that crass e-card was for?

    Is it possible it could’ve been for some other random guy?

  8. I know Taylor thinks he’s flaming hot (just like Julia thinks she’s flaming hot) but I find the mouth-breather to be semi-repulsive. He’s also an ass for encouraging her addiction to victimhood, but I’m sure that’s what Donkey likes best about him. I’m actually feeling happy and relieved for Pancakes! Stay away, buddy…stay far, far away.

  9. I have I think 6 pinterest invites and will be happy to give them out to catladies.

    my email is fatpurplestalker at gmail, holla

      • You are confusing me. Did you link to the wrong entry? There aren’t any misused words there (kind of a triumph for Donkerina, actually).

        Lies, sure, but no misused words.

          • No, it’s “I’ve said my piece” as in “I’ve completed my part of the conversation” or “I’ve now recited the entire poem or passage I have memorized.”

            Saying one’s peace doesn’t make sense.

      • Why does she feel the need to answer these questions publicly? Also, “I’ve decided not to grieve in public” means “Jack told me to stop because it was embarrassing him and his family.

        • Also, the easier it is to erase from everyone’s memory so I can move onto my next slampiece so everyone knows that the whole wide world wants a donkeyshow.

          She may be dumped, but she is still desirable, y’all! She’ll prove it with a string of cryptic date mentions, winkies, flowers from Algernon, and ‘ALL THE BOYS’ (aka ‘the boy’) soon to make an appearance in her tweetcastlifeshitstream.

  10. She is so predictable it’s astounding. I’ve been following the Donkey show for a few years now, and the patterns are glaringly obvious.

    Another typical Donkey narcissistic classic that I spotted on her FU money making blog today re: Randi Zuckerberg: “oh looky looky at my screen grab with the Zuckerberg baby thing that I bought a fabulous wonderful present for! Did I mention I bought the Zuckerberg baby thing a fabulous wonderful present? Aren’t I just utterly amazing?”

    No, Julia, you’re a selfish, self absorbed rotter of a friend who seal claps yourself when you do the teeny tiniest thing that doesn’t involve feeding your massive ego. Then as soon as you’ve done it you immediately do something ten times bigger for yourself in order to feed your massive ego. Yes you do Julia, it’s what you always do. I bet as soon as you bought that baby the costume you bought yourself 3 ill fitting dresses. Or a shitload of chilli or whatever the fuck it was you ordered from Amazon. GET. HELP.

      • See Chris Rock’s latest stand up special for the context with which I’m using the word.

        I love the gays, but any lawyer who will play a role in destroying someone’s professional life because they were mean about his retarded pink daughter on the Internet deserves the title, whether Raul rams his ass in the OMGDowntownCondo or not (he does).

        • “See Chris Rock’s latest stand up special for the context with which I’m using the word.”

          Yeah sorry, that’s not really how that works.

        • Tots unrelated, but since Takei was mentioned. I bought an “It’s okay to be Takei!” shirt. I’m allowed to wear this, right? Even though I am a heteronormative female…

          I also own a ‘gay steamroller’ shirt from theoatmeal. I’m not worried about looking ‘takei,’ and more worried I might offend people who are takei by wearing it.

          • Well, I’m another het female, so not completely qualified to answer, but my inclination is anything supportive is fine, anything using language where someone would have to know you to know you’re not using it pejoratively is not. So, I would feel totally fine walking around in a NAACP t-shirt, not so much in a shirt with the n-bomb on it (extreme example, but). The whole “it’s okay to be Takei” slogan is explicitly about poking fun at homophobia, so I’d think it’s cool.

        • Really though?

          Chris Rock as any sort of indication why its okay to say faggot?

          You are like a 45-yr old white dude from square state that heard his riff on the n-word and decided to repeat it.

          You should be embarrassed, acknowledge that, and move on.

          • You are like a 45-yr old white dude from square state that heard his riff on the n-word and decided to repeat it.

            In other words, Michael Scott, the man who is so powerfully unfunny he sucks the humor out of any room he enters.

        • I love the gays, but any lawyer who will play a role in destroying someone’s professional life because they were mean about his retarded pink daughter on the Internet deserves the title

          So, you love the gays, but you think it’s fine to use them as a catch-all term for something you don’t like? Yeah, no.

          White people don’t get to use the n-word. Straight people don’t get to throw the word “faggot” around, even if it’s meant as satire. But then again, we also don’t generally get hassled about our right to marry each other, adopt kids, or say, not be correctively gang-raped or murdered. I’d think you’d recognise we have the long straw in this particular trade-off.

  11. Out of curiosity I took a look at her profile on Facebook. You can see her photos now. She uploaded a bunch of old photos from a billion years ago when she dressed appropriately and had her 2nd nose on. Not surprisingly, all the recent photos of her with Greasy and Pancakes are gone or I just can’t see them. All of them say “yesterday” on the upload date and most of the captions are pretty misleading, making you think that they really are from this year. Even weirder, a lot of them feature her with Mary and Meghan. Could someone be feeling lonely and regretful? Whatever. It’s pretty transparent to me that she’s restructuring her profile so any new people (read: men) will be sure to friend her because she obviously looks, like, SO hot!

    • Because Julia’s one and only interest and hobby is HERSELF, she likes to spend inordinate amounts of time organizing and reorganizing pictures of HERSELF. Then she moves on to reading self-help books that tell her about HERSELF, and then she’ll do a little blogging/tweeting about HERSELF. After discussing HERSELF with Momsers and Dadsers, she calls Tay-Tay and talks about HERSELF. Then she scours the internet looking for lame quotes that she can apply to HERSELF. After that, it’s time for more blogging/tweeting/journaling about HERSELF. When she can finally tear herself away from her hobby, she goes to sleep and dreams about HERSELF. She gets up the next afternoon, checks on her pictures, and starts the whole process all over again. Nice life, Julesie.

    • I was thinking today that I cannot imagine having a day so pathetisad that I would go shopping by myself for dresses I could not afford and had nowhere to wear, let alone that I would document same on the Internets.

      But that’s just an ordinary day for Donkerina, isn’t it? I would feel bad for her if she weren’t such an arrant poopsplash.

      • What? Do you expect her to go to a museum or something? Maybe take up painting or guitar? Silly! She must see how she looks in pretty pretty dresses and photograph same for all the adoring world to see!

        Did she actually post photos of that? Don’t make me look at her blog, it makes me angry.

    • There’s nothing like rewriting a little hiss-tory, Juliar Allison style! Don’t bother to call her out on the inconsistencies, haterz. You should find something else to do on Sunday night. Pay old bills! Or get your Dad$ers to pay them for you, fi you can! Kisses!

  12. Did she include a reason for why she posted this drivel. It’s a really odd convo.

    Or is she just reminding us that chocolate is a high status marker (not for poors) and she has a whoooooole shipment coming her way. Jelis??

    • She earned those four chocolate bars in the Whole Foods aisle, thankyouverymuch. It is hard being a big internet celebrity and not having your boyfriend around on the holiest of holy loveheartsflowerskissespicturepicturepicture days.

      Only those who are chosen by gawd (1/47th Jewish, bunnies!) deserve to eat chocolate, and only after a hard day’s work interviewing shoes and dogs at NYFW (that is New York FASHION WEEK, in case you have never heard of it) and being away from your mealticket bigname fuckyoumoney boyfriend. You deserve a bi-coastal pity party at that point, you meany jerkfacehead.

  13. They have to start dating. She is not going to 3 summer weddings ALONE!!!!

    • Didn’t Pancakes and her sit down and plan out Summer 2 weeks ago? I remember reading that.

      She’ll probably try to force Pancakes to go with her to all that crap.

      • Sob, the Excel spreadsheet with ALL THE WEDDINGS is packed away in Juliar’s memory box, wrapped in pretty pink ribbons, next to Jordan’s tiara and a desiccated piece of Lillypoop.

  14. Donkey sure is stomping her hooves tah-night…

    Kelly M 1 hour ago
    So, basically, what your telling your readers is do as you say, not as you do. I find your “I like the way sugar tastes” comment offensive. You rally your twitter followers with “Sugar should be outlawed” but then post your love of it in every other post. And then you wonder why people doubt your sincerity. So if your poor, you shouldn’t get to indulge, but if you have the extra income, standing in Whole Foods eating 4 candy bars is perfectly acceptable. I use to find you amusing, but as one of those people that cannot get a job paying more than $10.00 an hour right now, and needing assistance, you just lost a long time reader.
    Like Reply

    juliaallison 35 minutes ago in reply to Kelly M
    Okay. Sorry I offended you! I wish I didn’t enjoy sugar. I try to avoid it. But I think getting upset about this might not be the best use of your time.
    Like Reply

    Kate921 16 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
    Wait, did you not just dedicate an entire post to discussing how people should not tell others how to feel? Why do you get to dictate what should or should not upset your readers?
    Like Reply

    juliaallison 8 minutes ago in reply to Kate921
    You’ve got to be kidding me.

    Please, PLEASE find something more constructive to do on a Sunday night. Anything will do. Any old bills you’d like to pay? NYT to catch up on? Perhaps start your novel?
    Like Reply

      • Why is she letting those comments in if she’s going to be such a transparent bitch???

        LOL

        PS Donkey!

        • Particularly that “old bills” comment after the commenter mentioned that she’s currently struggling financially. WTF.

          • Wow, her “heart” must not be hurting anymore! Donkey is on the mend!

    • Isn’t it incredible how she blithely ignores whatever a commentor is saying or asking (unless it’s fawning) and instead suggests that THEY are the ones with problems! Just fucking incredible. And chronic. She does this all. the. time.
      Shudder.

      • Not surprising to me; narcissists are incapable of seeing any point of view that criticizes them. There must be something wrong with THE OTHER PERSON, which is why she either “laughs” at them or insults them. It’s disgusting.

    • Donkey’s no different from any other child who, when she plays house, parrots grown-ups she’s heard.

      Her recent posturing is just a rendition of what all her exes eventually say:
      Please, PLEASE find something more constructive to do on a Sunday at 4:00 in the morning. Anything, just please QUIT CALLING ME!

    • Kate or Kelly should as such:

      “Donkey, you blog for an audience. Do you not expect said audience to have a diverse set of opinions? Do you only expect positive opinions? If so, you run a blog wherein you only expect positive comments which reflect your view. Obviously Julia, you are against diversity of opinion and depth of view. Sorry for your shallow world.”

      • She doesn’t really blog for an audience – being people who actually show up to intelligently respond to or critique her “writing,” deserving of quotes because it’s drivel. She blogs for herself, and apparently, an idiot brigade who will either kiss her ass, or find something better to do.

        She’s a twat. She doesn’t give a rat’s ass about her “readers.” She cares about herself. Goddamnit it the rages make me need a ciggie and I don’t have anymore, I might actually walk like 3 blocks at 1am to get one now, that’s how much she annoys me. I know smoking is bad bla bla I’m going to quit.

    • Old bills to pay? As a reply to someone who said she’s poor and can’t find a job?

      What a vile human being. I will remember this exchange when she tries to play the bully card next time.

      Julia Allison, you are fundamentally a bad person. Nose jobs and cupcakes and D List boyfriends aren’t going to fix that for you. Learn how to treat others better or you will die miserable and alone.

    • More constructive then READING YOUR BLOG AND COMMENTING ON IT? Jesus Christ on a bike why do you have a fucking blog if you are going to demean your readers and basically admit that they should have something better to do than actually analyze anything that comes out your mouth?

      I can’t stand her ass.

  15. RBD historians: Correct me if I am wrong, but I seem to remember when Donkerella began to date Greaser last fall she started getting very aggressive on Twitter and in her liecast, going after airlines (bitching about United and Delta), public figures, the public proclamation for the USA to go kill itself, etc.

    Yeah, in fact I remember Greaser telling her that the W book was number one, so they both can go to hell for their bullshit hating USA ways. Remember, we’ve got a servicewoman in America willing to die so you babies can waddle around, tip cheaply and spout hate towards America.

    Yep, Greaser is egging her on. Yeah, @JFA is right, he’s a fugly dude. Would hate to see my sisters bring his cheap ass around.

    /rant off.

    • I’m not an RBD historian, but I do believe you’re correct. Once again she’s transforming herself into the mirror image of whatever guy is foremost in her mind.

  16. She just went somewhere she probably should not have in the comments. “Those People” who consume sugar as a main part of their diet and get all fat and push up healthcare costs.

    • Yeah, people with eating disorders are so much less of a drain on the health care system. (Have been one myself, and it certainly cost Blue Cross plenty!)

  17. Oh man, Julia’s readers are muscling in our territory. Don’t they know their role is fawn and flatter?

    What the hell is left for us to do if even her fans are calling her out on her bullshit?

      • Damn. I was reeeeaaallly hoping her followers had finally sensed her cray.

        Nice of Greasy to lend her his balls so she could reply so nastily and aggressively. They’re a great couple!

        • 2 things: I very highly doubt she has actual “followers,” just as much as I very highly doubt the people who frequent this here blog are the only people who recognize she is nuts. Just throwing that out there.

          • She fools some of the people some of the time and I always hope they come back to the side of sanity.

          • The thing to realize about anyone who comments fawningly over there is that they are an idiot. All of the laughably bad comments about her breakup from “supporters” or whatever was obviously written each one by a tremendous moron. I honestly cannot imagine anyone with a scintilla of intelligence, taste, or good humor to do anything besides laugh or get bored upon reading her blog. There is no other explanation for commenting on a Julia Allison post, you are either dumb or just a very sad, sad individual.

          • Even getting upset enough or caring enough to actually engage her – really, I would hope the people that do that have stumbled over there accidentally somehow, before they get a clear picture of how banal and reprehensible she is. Because you cannot expect a clear, direct and honest answer from her, about anything. It’s not even worth poking her. I’m stopping now.

  18. Wow she’s melting down pretty hard in the comments on retard sideways blog…

    Like clockwork, this one…

  19. Oh those comments just got all sorts of intense. For those who don’t care to give the page views:

    Kelly M 2 hours ago
    So, basically, what your telling your readers is do as you say, not as you do. I find your “I like the way sugar tastes” comment offensive. You rally your twitter followers with “Sugar should be outlawed” but then post your love of it in every other post. And then you wonder why people doubt your sincerity. So if your poor, you shouldn’t get to indulge, but if you have the extra income, standing in Whole Foods eating 4 candy bars is perfectly acceptable. I use to find you amusing, but as one of those people that cannot get a job paying more than $10.00 an hour right now, and needing assistance, you just lost a long time reader.

    juliaallison 2 hours ago in reply to Kelly M
    Okay. Sorry I offended you! I wish I didn’t enjoy sugar. I try to avoid it. But I think getting upset about this might not be the best use of your time.

    Kate921 2 hours ago in reply to juliaallison
    Wait, did you not just dedicate an entire post to discussing how people should not tell others how to feel? Why do you get to dictate what should or should not upset your readers?

    juliaallison 1 hour ago in reply to Kate921
    You’ve got to be kidding me.

    Please, PLEASE find something more constructive to do on a Sunday night. Anything will do. Any old bills you’d like to pay? NYT to catch up on? Perhaps start your novel?

    Traci Koller Mazurek 1 hour ago in reply to juliaallison
    As a publicist, this is a pretty crap response, Julia. Obviously I’m not your publicist, but if I were, I’d recommend that you’d respond more like, I apologize for my posting about making sugar illegal, more that it should be limited, or not pushed by various government entities, and list articles about limiting sugar consumption.

    You have a wide audience, you probably shouldn’t be alienating them.

    Then again, I’m just a reader. Feel free to ignore/respond.

    juliaallison 56 minutes ago in reply to Traci Koller Mazurek
    Seriously? Okay, here’s what I’ll say. What I meant when I said “I wish sugar were illegal” or whatever I said is that I wish I didn’t have access to something that was so simultaneously delicious and crappy for you. People existed in a perfectly happy state for hundreds of thousands of years without Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. I wish we didn’t have them available.

    All that said, I don’t know why I should apologize for saying that I wish sugar didn’t exist and also admitting that I like it. I don’t make policy. I cannot enact reforms that mean sugar will be illegal. I wish all we had was healthy food, food that was good for your mind and body. I strive every day to eat healthy. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail.

    But I’m not going to apologize for expressing my actual opinions and they are as follows:

    1) I enjoy the taste of sugar.
    2) I believe sugar is bad for me (and everyone else).
    3) I try to limit my consumption of it.
    4) I make an intellectual distinction between limiting my consumption and talking about it in a joking way (like “I LOVE CHOCOLATE!”) and/or posting photos of things like pretty cakes.
    5) For health reasons, I wish processed sugar products were not easily accessible / had never been invented.

    That’s pretty much my final word on the subject. If you would like to continue to disagree with me, go ahead, but I really don’t have much else to say.

    Traci Koller Mazurek 38 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
    I will also add that I lived in Crown Heights, where our grocery stores were pretty crap when it came to produce. However, a few blocks north? Farmers’ market and grocery store were produce was available for *very* reasonable prices. Do I think sugar should be pushed ahead of healthy living? Of course not! But if someone wants a cupcake, it shouldn’t be a political statement.

    juliaallison 32 minutes ago in reply to Traci Koller Mazurek
    I’m speaking about people who eat it as a primary source of calories.

    Traci Koller Mazurek 42 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
    I do disagree with you. Your argument seems to be “I love sugar, it’s bad for me, I wish it were illegal so I wouldn’t eat it.” However? I don’t eat sugar, for the most part. It’s not difficult. Cut it out, have it as a once in a while thing. I had a macaron for my first sugar in a few weeks yesterday. Not the end of the world. Just have it on occasion! Sugar can be pretty freaking awesome when you have it in the form of a particularly awesome creme brulee or cupcake. Yeah, people shouldn’t have it every day. That’s common sense. However, it shouldn’t be banished.

    If you’d like to respond to me like you did to Kate921, I roasted a chicken for my husband tonight, so he’s well-fed, I’m turning 27 next week, our apartment is clean, I have a full-time social media job and all of our bills are paid in full.

    juliaallison 34 minutes ago in reply to Traci Koller Mazurek
    I wish it were illegal so people who aren’t as wonderfully disciplined as you wouldn’t eat it as a major source of calories. As I’m sure you know, sugar is one of the primary causes of the MASSIVE obesity crisis we’re dealing with in this nation – an obesity crisis that ends with diabetes, heart disease, and hundreds of millions if not billions of dollars in health care expenses.

    THAT is why I wish it were unavailable.

    Traci Koller Mazurek 12 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
    I would also love to see statistics of people who consume sugar as a “major source of calories.” Are we talking cinnamon bun for breakfast and chocolate bars for lunch and dinner? Because if you include sugars from fast food, then that’s an entirely different demon than sugar. I’d be hard-pressed to find someone who consumes sugar as a primary source of calories, unless they solely live on Cinnabon, Frappuccinos, etc with literally no other nutrients (Double Downs and Big Macs would count).

    juliaallison 6 minutes ago in reply to Traci Koller Mazurek
    PS. “obesity-related illnesses cost New York State residents nearly $8 billion a year in medical costs, or $770 per household. ”

    Yikes.

    juliaallison 7 minutes ago in reply to Traci Koller Mazurek
    Fast food is full of high fructose corn syrup. I would recommend watching “King Corn,” reading “Fast Food Nation,” or seeing the documentary “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead” if you want to learn more.

    I would also look to any of the studies that associate diabetes with low-income areas. “Diabetes rates in the low-income neighborhood of East New York, for instance, are four times those in affluent Gramercy Park” – NYT – and this stat is just the beginning of this op-ed, which recommends that the food stamp program not allow sodas to be purchased with the stamps. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10

    Traci Koller Mazurek 21 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
    I wouldn’t call myself “wonderfully disciplined” so much as “just don’t eat crap regularly.”

    I will agree with you that sugar should NOT be a primary source of calories. The Paleo/Primal diet, as well as the Atkins diet, are pretty rad sources for this. Contrary to popular belief, neither is comprised of bacon! and steak! and pork rinds! Both push vegetables as the primary component, cutting out sugar, promoting veggies, healthy fats, etc. (and grains/gluten, which you might actually prefer, seeing your gluten intolerance.) So! Do I still think sugar should be illegal? No, because people should be allowed to make their choices (including tobacco, which, if you outlaw that, then outlaw alcohol, and welcome to a riot).

    juliaallison 10 minutes ago in reply to Traci Koller Mazurek
    We don’t allow kids under 18 to consume tobacco and kids under 21 to consume alcohol. I think it wouldn’t be ridiculous to ban soda and candy for kids either. Riot or not, they’d be a lot healthier, and some studies say that they would be less medicated (for things like ADHD, etc).

    Plus, the fact is, people are not allowed to “make their own choices” when they have nothing healthy to choose. High fructose corn syrup has, for years, been supported and subsidized by the government (you should watch the documentary “King Corn” or read the book “Fast Food Nation” if you’re curious about the subject.)

    Part of the problem, ironically, IS choice – there are not enough healthy food choices in America, particularly for low-income families. I used to work at Stateway Gardens – a housing project in Chicago (now torn down) – during the summer before college. They couldn’t get a healthy grocery store to come to the area, so the residents were forced to purchase food from the convenience stores on the corner – which, of course – sold only snacks, candy and soda. These same residents were frequently obese and had a multitude of health problems (my job was to match them up with the proper governmental programs to help them with various needs, including food stamps).

    Access to healthy food (and education about what food is actually healthy) is a HUGE problem, and should be a top priority of our government. It looks like Michelle Obama has taken on healthy eating as her pet cause (at least for kids), but that’s just a start.

    Just telling people to not “eat crap regularly” is fine for those of us with access to healthy food and the education to eat in a way that supports our bodies, but many Americans are not in that boat.

    manx885 4 hours ago
    Please don’t take this as a “hater” comment, because I am genuinely curious, but how exactly did you go from talking constantly about the toxic effects of sugar and how people on food stamps shouldn’t be allowed to purchase sugary goodness to talking about your love of sugar in 50% of your most recent blog posts?

    juliaallison 2 hours ago in reply to manx885
    I love how sugar tastes but I don’t think it’s good for you. That’s pretty much it.

    manx885 30 minutes ago in reply to juliaallison
    Right, and that’s fine, but you made it more offensive and complicated than that when you went on a rampage about controlling other people’s consumption of sugar. I often feel the same way that you do about sugar being delicious but terrible for me and wish there weren’t so many glorious treats out there for me to sample. However, I wouldn’t go on record as saying that people on food stamps shouldn’t be allowed to use their food stamps to purchase it. Just as you’ve said several times, sugary products can be nice treats on a rough day, and lord know that people on food stamps probably have rougher days than you and I combined.

    Sorry if you feel like people are attacking you, but I think the focus of their animosity right now is on your comments about not allowing poor people to have it but then gratuitously posting all about how often you eat it/crave it. I know it’s maybe none of our business, but by having a blog and trying to attract readers you have to understand that every now and again something you say will raise concerns amongst your fan base.

    juliaallison 22 minutes ago in reply to manx885
    I was actually just responding to a Fast Company article which said that people on food stamps shouldn’t be allowed to purchase candy and soda. I didn’t come up with that idea!!! I just said that I wished sugar were illegal for EVERYONE.

    I honestly don’t care what people think about my views on sugar. I’m sure people have all sorts of views about alcohol or drugs. Some people feel alcohol and drugs should be illegal. Others feel they should be legal. Personally, I have no trouble avoiding alcohol, but I also think it’s not great for most people, and I’m glad our consumption is limited, as a society. Drugs, same thing. I don’t have a problem with it, so I personally don’t need them to be illegal, but I’m glad, for the good of society, they are.

    My point was only that sugar – ie, candy and soda – should be treated in the same way that alcohol or drugs are: it is dangerous to our bodies, leads to numerous health complications and is not great for a healthy society.

    OBVIOUSLY I am not saying that an occasional CUPCAKE is an issue here. If that isn’t obvious, forgive me. Just the same way that most people don’t feel an occasional glass of wine is a problem. But the obesity crisis suggests that the “occasional cupcake” is NOT what is happening within our society. What is happening is that people are relying on junk food to get through the day, every day.

    • An occasional cupcake? I’ve seen at least 100 photos of Julia biting (or licking!) cupcakes, cake, coffee cake, brownies, etc. And that’s just what she’s documented. Based on the way she blogs about it she regularly binges on sweets. Which is fine. Just don’t try to sat poor people shouldn’t be allowed!

      What the fuck is wrong with her? What is so hard about saying, oh wow.. That’s not what I meant at all but I could see how that would be confusing? Or like, holy shit you’re right. Sugar has a bigger grip on me than I realized and now I see how hypocritical I’ve been.

      How hard is that to do?

      • And I literally don’t know any fat people who binge on sweets, self included. So what the holy living fuck is she even talking about?

      • Forget the sugar. Cupcakes have gluten!

        Ceilingcats, how soon she forgets you.

    • Let me see if I understand her ravings: Sugar should be illegal! We should treat it like alcohol (not illegal, but should be, since I can’t stop drinking!) or drugs. The occasional cupcake is okay! Feel free to have a sip of alcohol once a month! If you crave drugs, try using them only on holidays!

      “I was actually just responding to a Fast Company article… I didn’t come up with that idea!”

      Yeah, she was just trying to impress some dude. Standard MO for fameballers; nothing to see here, folks.

    • So she thinks sugar should be regulated like alcohol – illegal to consume before the age of 21, can’t operate a car under the influence of it, can’t consume it after 2am (in most jurisdictions). But she is a 30 year old woman (without a car) who won’t control her compulsion to eat sugar, and therefore she thinks that sugar should be illegal for everyone.

      Color me shocked that a woman who can’t keep her bullshit straight also can’t make a logical argument.

    • Wow. I knew this weekend would be a gold mine of Juliar-with-too-much-time-on-her-hands post breakup craziness. That whole sugar thread delivers the goods.

    • What amazes me is that she allows these comments through at all when she can’t logically respond to them.

      • And what’s hilarious is that, for probably the first time, I essentially agree with Julia, not that sugar should be illegal, but we should stop subsidizing corn and figuring out ways to offer healthy food options to the poor, but she is just SUCH an ASSHOLE about it.

    • 30 years old, sponging off the folks, lolling about, eating her feelings and pontificating about good health. Hmmm.

      Also, no health insurance and ceiling cats.

  20. Wow, can we draft “Kate921” into the Catlady Club if she isn’t already one of us?

    “If you’d like to respond to me like you did to Kate921, I roasted a chicken for my husband tonight, so he’s well-fed, I’m turning 27 next week, our apartment is clean, I have a full-time social media job and all of our bills are paid in full. ”

    BURN BURN BURN

  21. Oh, is this her new thing? To declare war on the fats?

    I wonder if this is a little tiny and cute slam at Meghan McCain. (Speaking of which, where does Glenn “Pillsbury Doughboy” Beck get off insulting anyone else’s physique? Talk about your vagina-clenchers.)

  22. The only thing that remains mildly fascinating about Julia Allison is what life event/drug/psychotic break turned her into a lunatic. Five or so years ago, when she was writing her little column for TONY and writing her little blog, she was not this stupid or this crazy. She had some coherence in her writing and could pass for a likable human being, at least in short bursts.

    Since the Gawker days, however, it has been a weird little Flowers for Algernon thing – where she publicly becomes more and more crazy and, frankly, stupid. This is a really unintelligent woman – profoundly dense and clueless. She is not just staggeringly unaware of how ignorant and grating she comes across, she believes herself to be the object of great envy and jealousy.

    That is the only fascinating part of Julia Allison to me – how she devolved into such a batshit loon, and what it is like for the people who are in her loony world (by family ties, by choice, or by her delusions). What is it like to be associated with someone so delusional, and yet so clearly unable to hear or see reality? Do they maintain courtesies because her lunacy is amusing? Because they fear being mentioned negatively on her blog? Because it is easier than dealing with her aftermath of any type of breakup? Because they hold out hope that one day, they will reattach her to reality?

    • I agree. I maintain the breakup with Lodwick sent her on a permanent trip to Crazy Dumbass Station and she cannot get off the train. Until him, she seemed slightly likeable, her writing was OK, and she was not profoundly stupid.

      • To me she went from “annoying tryhard” to “écrasez l’infâme” around then.

        But I don’t know if it was an actual change in her, or just overexposure? Similarly, I thought Glenn Beck was kind of a blowhard in his radio days, as opposed to the boil on the ass of humanity I think he is now. Did he change, or was it just that familiarity bred contempt?

  23. Have fun, Greasy!

    [img]http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/66/38/d692afbe93387867ecec251fe5faaa29.jpg[/img]

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