Dating Julia Allison Is A Little Like Hotel California

You can dump her any time you like, but she just won’t ever FUCKING leave.

Actually, yes … my spiritual guide is a wonderful woman named Erin Pavlina – ErinPavlina.com … she has gotten me through the last three breakups in my life, including this one, and helped me to grow as a person substantially. I owe her so much for helping me to see these life lessons more clearly.

I also turn frequently to my mom, who has a background in psychology and is one of my best friends. Her wisdom has helped me throughout this relationship (and many of the ones prior, too). She is an invaluable resource and comfort to me, and a powerful deterrent when I want to fall back into bad habits. She is also incredibly supportive, and lord knows I need that.

I’m absolutely “in process” right now with this. I think I had a bit of emotional whiplash over the weekend, and I’m letting it settle in slowly this week. I’m probably even going to stay in Coronado until next weekend, as (you might think this is odd) Jack and I are having a pretty great time together right now. As I said in the post, we’re not breaking up because we don’t like each other, we’re breaking up because eventually our lives will become incompatible.

I know there will be more downs in the future – I can’t imagine that there won’t – but for now, I’m grateful that the ending to this part of our relationship was at least filled with love and gratitude. I know that sounds hokey, but I mean it.

Dude, what the fuck? You broke up. I know you’re homeless and all, but, seriously, get the fuck out. What’s the hold up? Has Raul not packed up all his dildos and skittered out of Dadser’s OMG Downtown Condo yet? And how can you break up with a dude, BECAUSE OF YOUR CAREER, but have the luxury to chill out in Shuffle Board Central for an extra week? Don’t you have a column to write from the confines of Chicago?

See that thing over there? That’s a recycle bin. If you dump your sticky wedding magazines in there, you will be completely packed and then you can get the fuck out!

I don’t know why this amazes me. We all know that Julia Allison is a squatter.

(And I just KANT with the spiritual advisor shit.)

229 COMMENTS

  1. of course you’re having a great time together right now, julia! he can fuck you without that icky commitment thing, and he knows that, when you leave, he can ensure that his ‘work schedule’ is so grueling and unpredictable that he will never have to see you again.

    • oh, and, p.s., you have absolutely no self-respect. when a man breaks up with you, you summon up all your courage and self-worth, hold your head up high, and walk out of the door as quickly and gracefully as possible once the conversation is final, then you call your friends and go have many drinks with them. you don’t hang around your ex for an extra week, giving him the all-the-sex-he-wants-buffet treatment in a thinly-veiled attempt to get him to change his mind. he’s not going to respect you because you were ‘so cool’ when you hung out with him for a week after breaking up. he’s thinking you’re sad and pathetic and he’s going to laugh all about it with his navy buddies once you do finally drag yourself to the airport.

      • SERIOUSLY. If you “love” the person how in the world can you hang out for a week and let him fuck you when he clearly doesn’t love you enough to make this work? It’s a devastating, insecure thing you’re putting yourself through needlessly. I know you have no money, but surely Dadser would feel bad enough to fly you home?

        Julia, please. You’re a selfish person who has done horrible things to people but I wouldn’t wish what you’re subjecting yourself to on my worst enemy. GTFO!

        • “I know you have no money, but surely Dadser would feel bad enough to fly you home?”

          Dying.

          Thing is, I would really love her to end up in a situation like that, wherein you get dumped and literally don’t have the money to go anywhere else or even get there. Not that I would wish that on any normal person, I would just love Julie to have to deal with a real real-life situation for once, without Fuck You Bogger Money to fall back on.

          • Yeah I guess I just meant she has no cash coming in. And I’m sure she’s burned through the SONY money. So it’s either Dadsers or Trust Fund. Legalese, I guess.

          • Do the ‘sers really have that much money? I mean, yeah, obviously they’re better off than they deserve, and than most of the world, but Joolzballz’s attitude strikes me as a bit tryhard for someone whose background is really financially secure. It would certainly be in keeping with how La Donk is about stuff if the ‘sers were living way beyond their means.

          • I think they’re upper middle class, at best. Not wealthy. Remember, she had to leave NYC (thankfully!) and live in a condo that the enabling parents already own.

          • Duh, Julie has been able to save 30-40% of her income over the years! remember that?

          • I think they’re rich, but not heiress rich like Megan Asha. Julia strikes me as very nouveau, striving and very try to hard. She tries to look rich but then complains about things like health insurance or cable bills … hates buying unglamorous things she “has” to pay for instead of tacky material consumerism. She probably gets some money from Granny Moneybags, but not a ton. It would not surprise me if she had massive credit card debt. Paging Afghani… paging Afghani… I am sure he knows the details of their bank accounts down to the penny 😉

      • so julia is supposed to call up her mum and lasagna for a night out on the town? we all know those are her only friends.

        and in her case, she would have many ‘sips’ with them.

    • Exactly.

      If you keep essentially making the same mistake over and over and no one in your life is willing or able to sit you down and, lovingly but sternly, let you know that this might be a case of “Fool myself twice (or 345,723,009.3 times), shame on ME,” they are PROBABLY enabling you, not helping you.

      No offense to any of the catladies here if this is your speed, but people who shell out money for “spiritual advisers” or “life coaches” or any other such mentor whom you pay and is not a licensed therapist strike me as exceedingly gullible.

      Life is tough, but it’s not THAT hard. Most people are able to learn the basics without a third-rate Dr. Phil teaching them how to look twice before crossing a street.

    • Her mom has a background in psychology?? When, before or after the Nixon White House? Too much.

  2. Holy fucking shit. Directly from the website of this charlatan:

    – Erin is a psychic medium and intuitive counselor who offers intuitive readings when you need some clarity and insight in the areas of career, relationships, health, finances, spiritual connections, and more. Erin is also a medium and can often connect with your deceased loved ones and relay their healing messages.

    Donkey, now hear this: there is no such thing as a psychic. There is no such thing as connecting with the dead. Astrology, ESP, telekinesis, faith healing and all the rest is quackery, flim flammery and outright fraud.

    You can’t pay for health insurance, but you can piss away money on this huckster? Jesus fucking christ you are even dumber than I thought.

    If this cunt is for real, she can make an easy million dollars by taking the James Randi challenge. Look it up.

    • I think there are definitely spiritual counselors who provide guidance and help–not unlike clergy for those who believe. I went and visited one once who kind of got my life story and then suggested a bunch of classic texts for me to read. But yeah… it was very practical and less ‘On July 14 you are going to meet THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS.” The lady I saw is not a psychic, which is probably why I got something out of it. She was more like…look, there are only so many stories in this world and perhaps you can read these characters in literature who resonate with your particular story so you feel less alone in the world. It was cool.

      • This chick urges you to send in photos and pay large amounts of money for her “readings”. She charges $400 for a 30 minute phone reading and $700 for an hour.

        She is a huckster and a fraud. I can’t believe people waste their money on this shit and Donkey is promoting it. Fuck that cunt.

        If this is the kind of shit donkey turns to in times of need, she is in for a lot of disappointment.

        The question is: does donkey waste this kind of money on this quack’s “help” or is she getting paid to shill this bullshit?

        I’m guessing the latter.

        • $700 for an hour?? Fuck me. For that money I could buy enough excellent wine to float myself out of breakup blues.

          • Seriously, here is my spiritual advice = drink vodka after break-up. Now plz pay me $700.

          • Or several months worth of actual psychotherapy with a reputable psychologist – even without insurance!

        • And just last week she was so generously telling CDBob that she’d be able to pay him back the money she essentially stole from him, but she’d have to do it in increments, over a period of time. The ONLY reason she made that phony offer is because she knew Bob wasn’t going to take her up on it. Precious can’t be spending her money on doing the right thing…she’s got quacks to see! Maybe Matt’s right and she’s getting the psychic’s services for free, but either way…she’s an asshole.

          • She told CDBob she’d pay him back? Where did I miss this thread?

        • It is certainly possible that Erin Pavlina is doing a bullshit-for-shill swap. She is that dimwitted, and that’s basically how her ex-husband rolls, too.

          On the other hand, my guess is that Erin’s “spiritual guidance” is worth about as much as Donkerina’s shilling. It is times like these that I wish that bit in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy when they sent all the useless people to another planet could be real.

          • Wait how do you know this about her and her ex? Do tell, I am intrigued by this crazy psychic ladything.

          • Various linkies are down the thread a bit. I am attentive to many, many Internet trainwrecks, and the Pavlinas have proven to be a rich lulzfield.

      • So if the person you went and saw wasn’t a psychic, doesn’t that just make them a regular counselor?

        • She was more into myths and studied under Joseph Campbell. It was pretty bad ass. I told her a story from my childhood and she talked about Celtic myth and sent me on my way with materials that were pretty awesome.

          • Whatever works. At least you knew to seek help/assistance for yourself rather than fly around the country living a parapathetic life.

          • I can’t even spell the joke right because WHO THE FUCK TALKS LIKE THAT?! Jesus she humps the thesaurus waaay too much.. maybe Pancakes was pissed it was seeing all the action and BOUNCED. Wait, he can’t because he invited her to move in and she won’t leave.

          • It’s like some twisted mash-up of THE SECRET and vampire movies–once you invite her in, there’s no take-backsies, ever.

            LET THE WRONG ONE IN, starring Pancakes McShort and Equus Africanus Asinus Baugher, coming soon to a theater near you!

        • Definitely a different perspective, is all. I went to a regular counselor for two years and dealt with my shit and now thankfully I’m the normal, emotionally healthy Let it Explode I am today.

          • Yeah, the best therapy i ever had was a naturopath (who was so badass). We talked about my emotional problems and my physical problems for an hour over the course of a few months, she prescribed herbs, did some body work, and voila, someproblems was on the road to being the emotionally healthy someproblems that i am today.

            And she only charged 150$ an hour.

            Not everything off the beaten path is quackadoo — though the shit Julie is into certainly is.

      • That sounds more like a Jungian-inspired therapist — which is completely legit — as opposed to a more expensive version of the psychics you’d call after seeing a commercial on TBS at 2am.

        Julia is even more fucked up than I thought, if THIS is her idea of a spiritual advisor. I’ve not only been in therapy, I’ve also recently been the guinea pig/intern subject for a friend of mine who is becoming a life coach, and not once has “talking with dead relatives” been an approach they’ve wanted to take.

        • Yeah. She was tots Jungian. She is constantly studying ancient myths and assigning texts to people based on what stories from history may better help them understand their life stories. She thinks psychology can be predictive in that people tend to act out in similar ways to in similar situations and that there is much to be gained from turning to literature. She had me reading the Mists of Avalon and some Greek mythology. Writing this out like this I see how different it is from Julia’s spiritual quest. Ms. Albertson would never read anything that wasn’t on Oprah’s book club list.

    • Fixed..

      Erin is also a medium and can often connect with your deceased loved ones bank account in a time of grief and relay their healing messages. rape it repeatedly.

  3. This reminds me of all the high school seniors who break up with their boyfriends of five minutes because they’re going away to college in six months.

    Oh, wait. Never happened.

  4. Theory: JAB saw this coming, but used “I’m moving in with Jack!” as her line to convince her parents to let her store her shit in the OMG downtown condo. Her getting rid of that ridiculous canopy bed a couple of weeks ago made me think she was giving up her storage unit…or at least giving up the one she was paying for. Now all her junk is in the OMG downtown condo and Momsers and Dadster are stuck with their spinster daughter anew. Same shit, different toilet.

    • I don’t think she at all saw this coming–at least not until a week or so ago. Because if she did she wouldn’t have posted all those “Julia I love you come home” text messages from Jack because they’re mortifying.

      What happened here is pretty clear: Jack invited her out to live with him and things went south quickly because they never spent much time together before that. You do NOT invite someone to move in with you and then pull the plug a month later because of a scheduling conflict. Fuck. Marriage/Commitment IS BY DEFINITION A SCHEDULING CONFLICT. You compromise because you’d rather be with the other person than without them. And Jack (and I’m guessing Julie) would rather be without.

      • I’m still not sold on the Jack inviting her to live with him bit. No 24 year old dude is that excited about wifing up unless his name is Duggar. I think she gave him a sob story about feeling restless and he said “Well you could live here…” thinking through it just long enough to know it’d close the distance between their nono parts. He was NOT asking her to move in with the heavy implications her 30 year old desperate spinster ass put on it, and she’s been tossed in 1 month flat because she was too stupid to know better.

        • I thought it was weird the way she moved in to Prom King’s apartment when she’d only been dating him a short time. She’s not pushy AT ALL!

          • If Julia weren’t so offensive to the gay community, I would make some variation on the old joke about what a lesbian brings on the second date (a u-haul).

            As for sticking around Jack’s – well, he is getting off cheap, considering she lived RENT-FREE for over a year in one of her ex’s place. And I’ll bet that ex GLADLY paid the rent, just to have her at a safe distance.

            Rent-free. For a year. In her ex’s place. She is a thousand shades of gross.

  5. Spiritual guide…..she can drop cash on this bullshit but can’t make time to see a licensed therapist/psychiatrist? I know that it’s because a real therapist would make her work and not hand her dandy little sayings that make her feel better.

  6. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!1!!!! INTERNET DOUCHEBAG STEVE PAVLINA’S EX-WIFE ERIN IS DONKERINA’S “SPIRITUAL GUIDE”?

    Oh, my sweet Jesus. Yeah, Erin Pavlina is just the person you want marital advice from. Yeah, Erin “I have no self-esteem, so when my husband announces to the entire blogosphere that he’s going to try to fuck other women, my response is to go on a big diet” Pavlina?

    I mean, you can’t make this shit up. Her SPIRITUAL motherfucking GUIDE is the only person douchewitted enough to marry one of the biggest Internet poopsplashes of all time? HA HA HAAH AH HA HA.

    Yeah, Erin Pavlina and your Momsers are the best sources of advice in your time of heartbreak. A doormat and a beard–PERFECT!

    Oh my God I cannot fucking believe how perfect this is.

    • Yep. Her mother and Erin Pavlina.

      Seriously, Julia doesn’t know what she doesn’t know — and she achieves this while thinking that she knows everything because she has these advisors?!?!?

    • I’m still trying to process this, much like a John Mayer concert. I thought I’d seen it all from the Donkey but I never, ever, ever thought she’d go the path of a psychic scam artist instead of therapy. I know it’s the difference between being told what you want to hear and dealing uncomfortably with your asshole self, but still. I mean, what? WHAT.

      For the first time in who knows how long–because I mostly just cringe–I cannot stop LAUGHING at the donkey. The lulz are writing themselves now, honey.

    • Holy christ this is hilarious. So that’s your spiritual guide? What an idiot. She deserves all of this and more. I’m so glad I checked back in with RBD today.

      Has Greasy prepared for the sloppiest of Navy seconds? Because that shit is coming up I-5 in a hurry.

  7. Holy shit she is des-per-ate. This is her last real shot at the easy money lifestyle without going flat out Anna Nicole, and she is NOT going to let an OMGMCCAIN slip through her huge, huge fingers.

    I guarantee you she is blowing him at absolutely every single fucking opportunity hoping he’ll change his mind. The long, lingering Cindy tweet was so telling that she just can’t let go after coming so close to almost not being TOTALLY FUCKING RANDOM.

    Sweet Jesus this is all sad.com.

    • You nailed it. And I fully expect her to leave Lilly w/Jack when she leaves and she will come back again. I don’t know, just a hunch, guess. Look at what’s taken place thus far, anything is possible now.

  8. First, to Donkey: How do the poors get by without spiritual guides? Shouldn’t they be able to buy Erin’s help with food stamps?

    Second, to Donkey: Since i work my ass off to *gasp* give money to poors, I want to thank you for being the never ending drama queen that I can observe and feel that, yes, fuck modern television, this is soooo much better.

    Third: Adweek. Lost all respect for that frat house. Self-indicting behavior by juvenile boys in middle-aged, flabby bodies is so easy to spot. Bugger off, wankers.

  9. According to Julia, her psychic has helped her to “grow as a person substantially” and “is a powerful deterrent when I want to fall back into bad habits.”

    OH REALLY??? You need to get your money back, dumb donkey. As far as I can tell, there hasn’t been an ounce of growth since 10th grade. As far as not falling back into bad habits….isn’t falling back into bad habits pretty much the Julia Allison trademark? This delusional child needs real help, not help from a fortune teller.

    • TTTHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS.

      This.

      P.S. Dumb Donkey

  10. The comments on her blog are truly grotesque.

    “I do hope you choose to make some time for yourself to heal and process the end of what seems like a very, very, very meaningful relationship.”

    FOR GOD’S SAKE! Stop with the meaningful relationship bullshit! Seeing a guy eight or nine times in a long-distance relationship does not make for a “very, very, very meaningful relationship.” It’s depressing to see how easily these flakes buy into her Sex And The City mentality.

      • she needed her 27k twitter followers to read it, because she has been guzzling from the endless fountain of ‘there, there’ comments on her blog, frantically clicking on the refresh link like a starving lab rat pressing a lever for more sympathy heroin.

        • Ha – “sympathy heroin” fucking awesome. Nothing better than a work-out fueled by images of a frazzled Donkey, calloused hoof, pawing at her mouse. L<3L

          Thank God at least Lilly can enjoy the beach another week. Dog needs fresh air, escape from Juicy stench.

      • The same person who tweets a relationship.

        P.S. Good job laying off the internet, Donkey!

    • I’ve had more meaningful relationships with shoelaces than Julia had with Jack. (Are her readers reading the same blergh posts that we are? Or is she just writing all of the comments? It’s hard to believe that there are more than two people in the world (Mom$er, Dad$er) who feel sorry for Julia.)

      • “It’s hard to believe that there are more than two people in the world (Mom$er, Dad$er) who feel sorry for Julia.)”

        My thoughts exactly!

        I just love the way she milked her sob story for all she could on her blog, and when she felt like she wasn’t getting all the attention she deserved, she decided to tweet it. Her tackiness knows no bounds.

  11. Now a relationship that I am sorry to hear about -Schwarzenegger separates from wife of 25 years Maria Shriver 🙁

  12. Here’s some spiritual advice, Donkey: HE DUMPED YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF HIS APARTMENT!!

    Please deposit $300 in my paypal account. You’re welcome.

  13. Why are they breaking up now if Guam is months away? Why not just fuck for fun then split when it’s mote natural? This is going to get ugly when he starts dating someone else in 3….2….1…

    • If she’s staying there all this week, odds are that they are currently effing for eff. The only difference is that they are also free to eff others as soon as they are back to sleeping in separate beds in different cities.

  14. There’s a girl who tweeted Julia, “I’m literally in tears after reading your blog post.”

    I just have to stay away from her blog and her twitter. It is swarming with assholes just like her. How can people be so stupid?

  15. Awwww…poor Julie! Now she’s never gonna git ta call him ‘daddy’:

    [img]http://i55.tinypic.com/ipqg4g.png[/img]

    (from The Daily Show via Gawker)

    • That is so fucking good. Also ugh when I look at McCain now I see an old shriviled up Pancakes. Shudder.

  16. Seems like Jack is a clever boy – he figured out that he has no future with Julia and is keeping her around for the nookie.

    Wouldnt surprise me if he let her stay for another few weeks – what’s the harm? She is no longer his problem and probably the best looking girl for miles in Coronado…

    • She’s now a friend with benefits. Good move by Jack. She understands she’s dumped, but is still there for another few days strictly for entertainment purposes.

          • Can we all stop with this sexist bullshit about her being “used” for sex? Maybe she likes getting banged. Jesus. I hate the bitch but even I am not that crass as to suggest that she is some cum dump now.

          • Agree JFA. Julie is hanging around because SHE wants to. Julie is the one with plan here, not Pancakes.

            So what if they are banging away? What’s gross is that we know about it, not that it’s happening.

            What’s gross is Julie’s use of the phrase: “we are enjoying each other.” Ew.

          • “But we’ve spent the weekend together, just hanging out and enjoying one another, and well … it’s hard not to be like “Ugh! Let’s not do this whole “break up” thing! Let’s just keep trying! We can work this out! Who cares about logic!?!?” Yeah. And that’s how you end up making bad decisions …”

            Whoever is using whom, this line from her blog screams BAD BREAK UP SEX and that can’t be healthy for anyone. And we all know Julia always has an agenda, so….

  17. Totally, TOTALLY O/T, but I am endlessly amused that every single time I have seen That Royal Couple discussed, Kate is, without fail, every single time, referred to as “Duchess of Cambridge,” “Duchess,” or, if they feel like being casual, “Duchess Kate.” EVERY. TIME. I don’t think I’ve seen her referred to as “Princess” once. Well, ok – once.

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/5135055630

    It just still amazes me that for someone who made this ALL SHE WOULD TALK ABOUT for over a week, she still couldn’t do enough minimal Google research to get even the most basic facts/ideas/knowledge right…

    (Also, do recent events mean I have to change my name now? I finally picked one 🙁 )

    • Technically if she wants to use the title of Princess she would have to call her self “Princess William of Wales” because she is not a Princess in her own right.

      To be able to user her name she would have to use a lesser title so that’s why she is titled as Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.

      • Right, I know that – but Julia doesn’t. And in the post I linked to she mentioned in the comments that she was SO SURE everyone would be calling her Princess (!!!) Kate even though it wasn’t really her official title.

        Yup. Sure, sweetie. That’s totally what’s happening.

        • I remember hearing that the Palace is becoming more populist—and they don’t care, and encourage the Princess Catherine thing. They are modern! and need an ongoing PR boost.
          This doesn’t mean that Julie isn’t a dumb hick/bad writer.

    • Also, do recent events mean I have to change my name now?

      Same dilemma here, now that Megatits & Mrs. Nutterworth have been scripted out of the online tranwreck that is Julia Allison. Any chance of [Jordacted] & MareMare BeachHair making a comeback? Eh, Pavlina? Pavlina? Bueller?

      I’m seriously considering: Donkkam’s Lazor

    • Keep your name! Some of my favorite names on RBD are references to things that happened ages ago. It gives context to the 77 layer dip that is Julia’s dysfunctional personality.

  18. You know, the Erin Pavlina thing is just a microcosm of why I can’t the Donk.

    In the real world, people choose their therapists based on their professional training and therapeutic modality. In Bizarro Donk World, anyone who says they’re a counselor on the Internet is automatically a counselor. Pay no attention to their lack of training, or that they are a pathetic laughingstock whose own life is a road-company Titanic of fail, or that their therapeutic modality is “wishing will make it so” with a dash of “PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE SAD.COM BEHIND THE CURTAIN.”

    It’s like she’s a child playing at life with Monopoly money. Whatever bullshit people claim about themselves on the Internet is real! Actual skill and training counts for nothing! Freedom is slavery! War is peace! Cupcakes are both poison and a major food group! We have always been at war with Eurasia, so namaste, motherfuckers!

    • That and Lily. TBH I would forgive her a lot more if she weren’t such a shit to Lily.

    • Cupcakes are both poison and a major food group! We have always been at war with Eurasia, so namaste, motherfuckers!

      Bottomless love for this passage, my first real laugh of the week.

  19. Bwahahaha!

    They are going to have to physically remove her otherwise she will never leave the condo. What’s next, a slip and fall in the shower so that she can nurse her sprained ankle on Cindy’s couch some more?

    Well done, Señor Yack! You’ll be hearing a lot about this one during family dinners for at least the next twenty years (and that’s a conservative estimate).

    • I’m pregnant! And broke my ankle! And have agoraphobia! And Lily wuvs you Jacques, she’s afraid to leave! I can’t leave yet, it would traumatize my dawg!

      • THIS! Jackie better be running a water-tight test on every one of those love gloves before slipping them on.

  20. Tweeted 2 hours ago, or 1.30am PST. Can she let our navy man get some damn sleep? Can you imagine the braying and stomping of a Donkey on a computer? HEEE – HAAAWWW!

    “A prophet is not someone who can see the future, but merely someone who can read the sign of the times.” – The Road Less Traveled

    Barf. Reading the signs of the times was allocated to the Sons of Issicar. But hey, the Old Testament writers aren’t around to tweet for an interview.

    • How BEYOND CREEPY is it that she is in her ex’s home, up until all crazy hours of the night, manically reading books about how to glean deeply meaningful life lessons from their breakup?

      Shouldn’t the first lesson be “STOP HANGING AROUND THE PLACE WHERE HE LIVES” before she tries to start on “mental and spiritual growth”?

      • Seriously. Get some self esteem, a friggin’ hotel room and a rescheduled flight to chi-town.

  21. I’ve had some pretty low points at the ends of relationships where I was so sad that I physically didn’t want to leave the other person. I’d be like, “One more hug!”. Very pathetic in retrospect. But all those exes were smart enough and respected me enough to politely tell me that I should go. If, in a moment of weakness, I was like, “Let’s spend one more weekend together!”, they would have refused (maybe not months later, but right after the breakup, yes). What Julia is doing here is SO bizarre to me. I would respect her more if she would just drop all the piecing-myself-together shit and admit that she’s a total mess. Just stop writing about it! If you’re that upset and devastated, it’s not supposed to make sense! And really, truly, if you loved someone and it didn’t work out, you could probably spend years trying to make sense of it. This is not the time to be writing, Julia. This is the time to let your life get a little bit messy. And you can start by leaving Coronado and facing the fact that you need to take some ownership of your life.

  22. Still dying to know, why did she throw a picture of a kitchen into all this?

    I will never the Donkey.

    • Yeah. I’ll betcha Dad$er’s dollars to donuts that Donkey has not a clue what the two drawers to the right of the sink are really for.

      • domestic bliss… June Cleaver in pearls and pink poodle skirt…
        ah, Jack. You’re throwing all this away?

  23. looking at the picture of of her overly-underlined page of the book, I’m really struck by what she chooses to underline. I can’t say I’ve ever taken notes on a self-help book, but, in recent years, I have taken notes on books related to professional development, and everything I underline is usually a ‘main point’ that drives the point of the paragraph or page home. julia, on the other hand, seems to just underline everything that makes her bob her head in agreement. nearly everything underlined on that page just says “problems cause pain,” over and over again.

    and I really hope the condo has two bedrooms, because if she’s staying up until all hours of the night to cry over a self-help book, with jack in the bed next to her, I pity her even more than I did last night. she may be an asshole, but, as a woman, I am so very embarrassed by her lack of self-respect, and I’m surprised by how much it’s really bothering me.

    lastly, her blog comments are by an equally sad bunch of people, with so many people saying “you’re doing the right thing to not give up your career for a man, you’ve worked so hard to get where you are!” to those people I say…what is so amazing about where her career is right now? she’s been working at it for the better part of a decade, and she’s gotten about as far as a mouse in a stationary wheel. if she was, say, obama’s speechwriter, I would agree with them. but she’s writing a syndicated column for a whole dozen papers, which her employer made a point to say does not require her to reside in chicago, how are all these people who comment not realizing how inconsistent she is in the things she says, and that this is just more of her spinning bullshit to avoid looking (more) stupid?

    • forgot to mention, I noticed she didn’t underline the part that said “with total discipline we can solve all problems.” a kernel of an idea that might actually improve her life, she totally ignores.

    • I will confess: I did let an ex stay in my apt for a few months after the breakup, but AFTER we had a few months to heal from the separation, so I can understand Jack’s thinking *to a certain extent*. My rationale was she’s crazy, but she needed a place in NYC to job hunt, etc. We had been together for 18 months and I felt a sense of loyalty to her. She had been a good gf, just bat shit loooney sometimes, so I thought, you know what, the best thing for me is for her to get a job, move on, cause then she will stop emailing, calling etc.

      In retrospect, it worked and she was able to move on.

      I hope the same for Jack and Donkey.

    • Hell, she’s moving backward from her peak, when she was actually getting paid by STAR and TIME OUT NEW YORK. Pathetisad.

    • Oh Jesus, did she do an “I’m so smart because I fucking underline books?” post?

      Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

      • Now that you mention it, this particular ex-gf whom I house-shared with did the same thing. Underlined books and made notes. Like it was fucking Econ 303.

        I was once handed my own version of CAD: Confessions of a Toxic Bachelor 95% underlined for me to read.

        • This is straight out of the Julia Allison Playbook. This is one of her favorite “I am Smart” routines. Others include announcing she is a pescatarian/agnostic/former Debate Club member, and referencing her job on “the Hill.” And of course name-dropping Georgetown 10 years later every chance she gets.

  24. Well, looks like a broken-down donkey has yet another excuse to laze around her parents’ place, “healing” and “processing” this devastating change of fortune. Bet Momsers is getting sick to death of propping up her 30-year old daughter with gluten-free, vege-pesca-chicka-tarian treats and sympathy. Her “best friend” Julesie is all take and no give.

    No doubt she’s braying about staying in CA an extra week in hopes of some other “boy” rescuing her from having to ship all her crap back to Chicago. She’ll keep using Jack’s place as a base of operations/dogsitting service while she frantically networks for another poor sap.

  25. Didn’t she squat in [redacted]’s apartment for nearly a year? I’d say Jack is getting off pretty easy with just one week of donkey squatting. Jesus woman! Have some dignity and self respect!

  26. I want nothing more right now than to hear Jack’s side of the story.

    Press release! Press release!

    • I’m sure he – with the busy schedule of studying and working and having NO TIME for the love of his life – appreciates her staying up all night furiously underlining self help books.

      Which, it’s not hard to see her thinly veiled contempt at his work and study commitments. She opened up her breakup manifesto complaining about how much he had to study and made snide references to his job all the time (“thanks US Navy!!”) So disgusting and disrespectful. If you love someone, you make it work. She acts like she’s the first woman ever EVER to be affected by the military. Hell, I’ve seen people do long distance marriages for a few years because of residency, law school, etc. It’s not that uncommon. She is so selfish!

      • And her constant griping about the Navy must have pissed Cindy off like crazy. 50% of Cindy’s tweets are proclamations of pride in the US Navy.

        I will Never the Donkey.

  27. She is so nuts. The hanging around thing is the most fucked up thing ever. Not uncomfortable at all. She is such a freak.

    • Yeah this is fucked up. I like to call myself “the best ex-girlfriend of all time”. You know why? Because once I get dumped, I get ALL of my shit, leave immediately, do not call/write/text, and leave them completely alone because if someone doesn’t want me, why the fuck would I want them??

      • That’s the sane thing to do. This is gross, weird and pathetic even for the Donk. If her mother has a background in psychology (note to Jules: a couple undergrad courses 5,000 years ago, even if they were at OMG Stanford, don’t count), her mother should be advising her to seek real professional help. But her parents are as loony as she is.

    • I am not prone to Cankleshausen by proxy, but yeah. I am feeling it bigtime. And I always wonder: if she has the dough to fly hither and yon so frequently, changing plans at the exceedingly costly last minute, why the hell is she so allergic to staying in a hotel? I’m sure Coronado beach has some fine, ones. Historic, even. Or so even an obese cat lady hears.

  28. I give it about a day and a half more of Jack hearing her wistfully murmuring “Oh, how I’ll miss these beach walks… the flower shows… sauteeing frozen spinach for you…”, waking up to soft sobbing at 3 a.m. and pink highlighter smudges on the sheets before he points her in the direction of the nearest Motel 6.

    • That’s already happening. She already has a “I’ll so miss these beach walks” post up. The insanity is at 11.

  29. She is really, really, really angling for sympathy; that line about the “bad habits” makes it sound like she’ll kill herself unless she gets the sparkly Care Bear treatment (and who knows, maybe that’s what she’s emotionally blackmailing Jack with: “If I leave now I..I…I..I don’t know WHAT I’d do”). Because, really, these seem like the scribblings of a distraught and/or histrionic 13 year-old upset after learning that one of the Jonas Brothers is married; it decidedly does NOT sound like a mature and healthy 30 year-old woman (and it sounds even less like a professional writer; I still think that if she buckled down she could write a Wurtzelian memoir, but she just doesn’t have the work ethic to do so).

    • Every once in a while I feel bad that we’re all over here poking fun at a clearly unstable person, but damn, does she make it hard for me to have sympathy for her!

      I would have actually felt bad for her if she just said something like, “Jack and I ended things. I need some time to myself to sort this out.” and gracefully got off the internet for a while. BUT NO. She pens looooong melodramatic essays airing her dirty laundry all over the place, continues to blog and twitter the shit out of the relationship and then doesn’t even have the dignity to move the fuck back home. Julia, THIS is why people take delight in your misery. THIS is why relationships continue to blow up in your face.

      Your spiritual advisor (GUFFAW) needs to tell you to keep keep your relationships OFFLINE and stop inviting internet strangers over to gawk at every embarrassing misstep. It’s fucking embarrassing. You haven’t grown as a person (substantially) and you haven’t learned a damn thing.

      • Exactly. That’s what I’m thinking. It’s not painful to watch because I feel sorry for her. It’s painful because she’s so fucking pathetic and foolish.

        If you need a “spiritual advisor” to get through not one, not two, but motherfucking THREE BREAKUPS in barely 2 years, get fucking help. From a professional, dumbass.

        Can’t Momsers with her background in psychology (LOL! was that her college major 45 years ago?) tell her as much?

        Also, boyfriend doesn’t want you. Are you three years old? MOST PEOPLE don’t breakup because “they don’t like each other” but rather a confluence of factors. That doesn’t excuse your ass from not leaving his apartment. Jesus Fuck it’s like she hasn’t lived on planet earth for the past 30 years.

        • I mean seriously she’s acting but exactly like a petulant 11 year old. I knew she was boring, irrelevant, and trite but this is reaching new lows of farce.

  30. OT, but I just relaized that in her latest Social Studies thingie she quoted Arax, one the of nonsociety bloggers.

    That’s All-star caliber. That’s like quoting your roomate for your college journalism class.

  31. this are my two theories:
    1) Julia felt that he was pulling away from her, so she turned to her trusty RULES and tested him by expressing her doubts. She needs a lot of adoration, and previously he would always reassure her that everything will be just fine. But this time is different, he notices things that he doesn’t like in her, he goes to chat with his mama who delivers a break up pep-talk. So when julia raises her issues (so that she can hear him say “noooo babyyyy you are the only one that i want” and light some fire under his ass by making him feel insecure and that he needs to fight for her IT’S IN THE RULES) he jumps at the opportunity and breaks up with her. Julia says something along the lines of “i don’t know where to go!” his pussy-whipped response is “i guess you can stay here for a couple of days…” and she takes him up on that and sees nothing wrong with it.

    2 (more viable one): he has been a secret cat lady for years. he entered the relationship with one mission in his mind: to save lily. Unfortunately, lily is not potty trained and he stepped in too many poos and deemed the mission unworthy. He lets julie stay because he is overcome with guilt about failing. nice try, Busty.

    • I so agree with this. Some of my worst tendencies include testing people and you know for a FACT she snarted sniffing something rotten, he was being distant, or not worshipping her enough, so she started some shit like wondering aloud if the whole thing was going to work, and instead of kissing her ass he probably jumped at the chance to be like “Yes you are correct! This won’t ever last! I love you so much but we just cannot be together, as much as we really, really, really want to.” Squatting there is her lame attempt to get him to change his mind. Pathetic.com.

  32. Did anyone else see The Adjustment Bureau?

    It’s like she’s ripping off the key parts of their script…

  33. What a fool. She totally tried to have some kind of talk with him and then, when he was all like “you’re right, it’s not going to work, see ya” she freaked and tried to take it back. Now she’s going to squat for a week because she’s a needy psycho and because she doesn’t have anything going on anyway. She loves moving in with guys, huh (remember when she was “practically living with” Prom King. Right before they broke up)? Getting her rent paid is pretty high priority.

  34. Erin recently released a new audio program called Raising Your Vibration

    FlapJack recently released his viBRAYtion too, ‘cept she will. not. GTFO.

    • I hate to say that I know this, but I do:
      Apparently, certain mystics and spiritual gurus believe that planetary alignment in 2012 will usher in a new era of spiritual enlightenment wherein our spiritual consciousness will vibrate at a higher speed. The theory is that our dimension vibrates at a lower speed than the spiritual realm.

      Listen people, I have a wide cast of friends, ok?

        • I have not. But I just wiki’d him. Very interesting I will look at him more. Very much appreciate the intel.

          Truth be told, I find some of the spiritual ideas re vibration (and associated spiritual aspects of string theory) compelling as our physical senses do not have an ability to “see” many vibrations (radio, microwave, gamma/x-rays) or energies, that impact our physical world. There are some of very interesting spiritual theories advancing, and many of them do not conflict with my mainstream Christian beliefs (Presby’s Unite!) – this is universe is a big canvas for God.

  35. JuliaAllison: “Pues cuando ardió la pérdida reverdecieron sus maizales” – when what was lost is burned, the fields become green again.

    Pssst, Cindy!
    You might wanna check the batteries in those Coronado condo smoke alarms.

    Just saying …

    • Slash and burn huh Donkey?
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slash_and_burn
      Although a dilemma for overpopulated tropical countries where subsistence agriculture may be the traditional method of sustaining many families, the consequences of slash-and-burn techniques for ecosystems are almost always destructive.

      Almost always destructive? Sounds like a Donkey we know.

  36. Jesus Christ, her blog is a shit-show of insanity right now. Posting photos of her marked up copy of The Road Less Travelled?? Is she fucking with us? No one can truly be this much of a cliche, can they? Jesus.

    • Boy I bet Jacks squadmates are going to let this go by. I’m sure they won’t bring it up again and again and again and again.

      ‘Cos if there’s one thing a bunch of military dudes know, is to respect the feelings of a buddy and let him work through it in silence and respect.

    • That’s an amazing book (if you mean the M. Scott Peck book). Fuck. Now she’s ruined it for the rest of us.

      • Don’t worry; she didn’t actually read it. She just highlighted a few lines and posted the pictures to make herself look S-M-R-T.

  37. “Navy planes overhead as I walk Lilly down the beach sidewalk. It’s my favorite part of Coronado, this walk every morning with her. I will miss this walk …”

    OMFGGGGGGGGG. YOU’VE LIVED THERE FOR FIVE MINUTES. WTFFFFFF.

      • I changed my mind. This is no longer excruciating. This is hilarious. This chick is so maudlin and cliche that it’s kind of a rotten pleasure to observe.

        • There’s no reason it can’t be both. I’m finding it excruciatingly hilarious myself.

        • It doesn’t even make sense anyway. “Oh yes, the soothing sounds and sites of military jets careening through the sky, I can almost smell the battlefield.” What the eff?

          • At least she could link up U2’s Bullet the Blue Sky or, darker, given her situation, Metallica’s One.

  38. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I ACTUALLY feel bad for Julia.

    Not in the way she’d want, but I can’t stand watching a developmentally disabled person be taken advantage of like this. It’s really setting a terrible example for young women that she’s letting herself get her brains fucked out for an extra week hoping that trick she does with her tongue on the head of a guy’s dick will convince Jack to take her back.

    The real cruel part is going to be when Jack and his navy buddies make fun of her about it. “Yeah, I dumped the crazy bitch, but she wouldn’t leave and was giving me the most insane crazy chick crying sex I’ve ever had, so I let her stay around for a week. She thought we were ‘working on things’ Ha!”

    It’s pretty immoral on Jack’s part, too. At this point, he’s fucking the slow girl with the decent rack, but then again McCain men are pathetic pieces of coward shit but that’s a different topic.

    This is like watching Gollum lose the precious. She got just enough of a taste to REALLY get her hooked and crazy. The tweets with FAMOUS CINDY, the access, the aforementioned iPhone photos of an open window while she carries on as a tough military wife. Sadly, combined with the Kate Middleton fantasy, this has pushed her craziness into another new realm.

    At this point the poor girl is so unhinged that she’s having a mental breakdown in her ex-boyfriends mother’s apartment while said ex-boyfriend pumps her brains out and is laughing about it with his navy buddies the whole damn time. Sad, sad, sad sad.

    I really do feel bad for her this time. Mission accomplished, Julia.

    • When you put it that way, it kind of makes me feel sorry for her, too, but I was dying over “This is like watching Gollum lose the precious.”

      Even in the face of immense tragedy (no pancake wedding!!) you people are damn funny.

    • I’m sorry but we have no idea what Jack is really thinking right now and I think it’s a little unfair to portray him as a cad. Nothing he’s done so far seems cad-like and given that he liked her in the first place, there’s no reason to think he suddenly hates her.

      More like she’s doing all the freaking out for both of them and SHE feels better now that they are broken up and is more relaxed and enjoying herself more.

      He seems pretty laid-back. He’s probably wondering why she’s overanalyzing this too.

      • Totally agree. I would LIKE to think that he’s not as nefarious as all that and is just sort of feeling his way in the freshness of the breakup the same way she is and isn’t callous enough to tell her not to let the door hit her on the way out. Breakups are rarely streamlined. Yes, the best course of action would be for her to get the heck out of there and back on a plane to Chicago, and no, no amount of last minute poking and handy J’s are gonna change their situation. But I just can’t see him high-fiving his pals when she does leave–and if he is that scummy, well then maybe she also dodged just as big of a bullet.

      • Yeah, I think he seems like a decent enough guy. I always like men who are close to their mothers, and he seems to be, and that may trump his father’s shit treatment of his wives.

        I am thinking he’s trying to be kind, to let her down easy, because he realizes the utter insanity that will ensue if he doesn’t. Perhaps he got some tips from Greasy, his FB friend, on the importance of remaining “friends” so that she won’t fuck with your life too much, the way she’s done with all the exes who froze her out.

        • Yeah, I agree. I don’t think he’s trying to fuck her over, pun intended. He’s young, he probably thinks letting her stick around for a bit is healthy, he might not understand that letting her go is the best thing for both of them. When I was in my early 20’s guys would let me linger around a little bit and these days they (and I!!) know better not to do that.

          • Why does she not have any responsibility in your scenario? She can just as easily close her legs/mouth and put a stop to it. Yeah, the lingering after a break-up sometimes happens but she’s old and experienced enough to know better.

          • Right, I’m just saying I don’t think this is his fault and that he’s doing this to be shitty. Julia is the one being shitty — to herself.

    • I just think she’s manipulative and calculating and that’s what all of this is about. I think others are right, that she initiated this conversation thinking Jack would reaffirm his commitment to her and “talk her down” and all would be peachy, but that backfired and now she’s buying time hoping that her pathetic displays will guilt him into giving it another try.

      It’s like she says and does all those things that she’s heard about or read about or seen on TV or in the movies. Has she ever had an authentic emotion or response to anything or anyone? Her posts are trite and cliche’d and don’t read like someone really feeling anything much at all.

  39. ah, just realized why she’s posting about moving to SF “in the fall” now. This way she can go to Chicago and crash “just for a few months, Dad!” while her plans for SF materialize, thus buying her some time to figure out what’s the next crash test dummy place she’ll invade.

    • Yeah she needs to ‘recover’ over the summer then fall in love again in the fall, so she can get married by OMG 31!! WINTER WEDDING YA’LL!!

    • Her fixation on San Francisco is so weird to me. What’s there that can possibly be a career for her, besides snagging some low level job at FB thanks to Randi? Does she think fall is an acceptable amount of time to pass before she shacks up with Greasy?

      It’s funny how her “job” kept her in Chicago, until she was asked to “move in” with pancakes, yet now her “job” is preventing her from being in San Diego and with pancakes, but not preventing her from moving to San Fran in the fall? WTF. I’m so confused. Her story changes from week to week as to rather her job allows her write from anywhere / keeps her in one place. The spin is making me DIZZY.

      • calm down….. you know she’s not serious 😉

        It’s so amusing to watch the lies and twists contradict each other. And best is that she posts them so utterly shamelessly. This alone should tell anyone reading that she is about as sharp as a marble.

        And don’t forget she has THREE, bunnies, 3 weddings to attend this summer, including OMG Dave Morin’s, so she’ll need at least a month of preparation for each one of those. That should carry her into fall, then she’ll fly to SF for some vague meetings with the SF Chron (that she could just as easily do via phone or email) and use that as an excuse to buy more time.

        How her parents don’t put a stop to this just makes me believe they are stupid too.

  40. I agree she started the conversation with the expectation he would talk her down, but he saw his opportunity to cut loose and took it. She’s probably still in shock, because she did not see it coming. Probably with the facetime and Royal Wedding cuckoo, he was like WTF, this chick is NOT who i thought she was (remember all the stunt dates and war movie watching?).

    She is now scrambling to keep him because she has nothing else going on. I still maintain that she is pretty meh about him the person but i don’t think she’s really ready to give up the panning for gold (though the McCains aren’t super rich, the name is a value add). She wrote that horrendous break up screed to attempt to restore her image as the ‘cool chick’ (that screed is nothing if not an attempt to normalize), rally her supporters to her cause and she’s now giving it her all to change his mind.

    She said herself in the screed that she tried the takebacksies the following day and he said no. This will be one long week of attempted takebacksies. It’s a war of attrition people. I will be curious to see who prevails, Pancakes or Julie. Or rather, Cindy or Julie.

    It’s going to be a fierce battle, Catladies. And the ensuing week should not fail to bring the lulz on like never before.

    • The McCains are pretty fucking rich- Cindy has a net worth of over $100 mil and gets paid $400k/year by the Hensley co., according to Wikipedia.
      However, I bet that Donks thought she’d snag a billionaire, a la Fatty Kate.

      • Hopefully, Fatty Kate includes subtle little digs and jabs at Julie Albertson whenever they talk. “You’re dating a 24 yr old with millionaire parents? How nice!” (Said in a patronizing way, because her boyfriend’s omgstartup is worth billions)

      • I was going by that article that was posted in the Seattle paper that detailed their finances extensively. It said that she only clears 5 million a year. I don’t know where the link is or who posted it, but Jack’s cut is not that big.

          • The point is Julie is not marrying Cindy. Pancakes doesn’t get a lot of that, and 500,000 a year is hardly FU money if you’re a gold digger.

        • as the really well-school gold diggers say::::::
          $5 mil? that’s just $2.5 mil after taxes.

        • I think that article said (too lazy to look it up) that all the McCain kids (other than Bridget) own somewhere around 7% of the Hensley & Co corporation … depending on the valuation of the company, Jack’s interest could be worth somewhere in 8 figures …. you would think that would be enough for our little golddigger to suck up 3 years of Guam. Again, golddigger fail.

  41. Guys, as if Julia needed any more reason to melt down, Crystal from NS (you know, the ol’ “hobby site”) just posted a link to her engagement photo shoot pictures. Normally, I’m not into people publicizing their OMGwedding, but in this case, it couldn’t come at a better time.

    • edit: Her entire tumblr stream is just one OMGmarriage/OMGengagement post after another.

      I hadn’t visited any of the NS “blogs” in a while. Good to see it’s all “Live Differently” over there.

      • haha, i know, right?! i was wondering if anyone was going to comment on this…
        and i don’t know about y’all catladies, but all that wedding stuff on her blog (china cabinet! dishes! flowers! the palace! engagement photos!) is actually a turnoff to me… i would never go to those gushing lengths. i guess i just don’t understand the magic of marrying your best friend size medium!

  42. Since I will never the donkey, I’m trying to imagine someone I know in her situation to try and understand the cray better.
    One of my cousins, to whom I’m really close, is Donk’s age. I tried to imagine her breaking up with her current bf and flying halfway across the country to my aunt and uncle’s house, laying on the couch and whining for weeks. It made me laugh out loud because no sane person would ever fucking do that.
    A few years ago, when she was 27 or so, she broke up with her bf of five years, who she’d lived with for three. It sucked, she cried, but she went to therapy and got over it. Meanwhile, Donkers has been with Pancakes for six weeks and “lived” with him for about six days and she is acting like it’s the end of the world.
    I WILL NEVER THE DONKEY.

    • Is it really this common for people to go to therapy after a break up? It made it easier, in retrospect. I can see a place for therapy for underlying concerns/issues/insecurities, but not really for a short relationship in and of itself. Five year relationship? Sure. But Julia’s 4-5 month relationship where she spent ~15 days with the guy? No way. Going to therapy over that relationship would be like going to a doctor to treat the symptoms of a disease rather than treating the disease itself.

      • I think it’d be helpful, in some instances. If I was in a long relationship that ended badly, or a painful divorce, I’d want someone to give me some tried-and-tested tools for grieving in such a way that I 1) don’t indulge in a downward spiral of self-victimization and 2) gives me hope that there’s an end point to the mourning period.

        Luckily, I have friends and family members and – perhaps more importantly – past experiences to draw from and grow on. In Julia’s case, she isn’t open to help and so wouldn’t benefit from therapy. Blunt, but there it is. You have to give to get.

      • The thing is that Donkerina needs therapy so badly it doesn’t matter what the precipitating incident is. Does she need therapy to process her grief over the nanorelationship with Pancakes? No. Does she need therapy to learn how not to make the same mistakes over and over and over and over and over? A resounding yes.

      • For my cousin, therapy really helped. He was her first real relationship, and was really emotionally abusive to her. He was also from a batshit insane family that was full of addictions and codependent relationships and he pretty much sucked on his mama’s teat at the age of 34.
        For Julia, it’s not that therapy would help her get over the breakup of her and Jack- it might help her realize that acting like a batshit crazy mothereffer at the end of every short relationship shows that she has serious underlying problems that need to be addressed.

  43. If Julia was all swoons and smelling-salts up in Coronado, and waking Pancakes up at all hours with weepy, where-do-we-stand phone calls from her crib (literally) in Chicago, it’s no wonder he hit the ejection button. If she didn’t demand it ALL. RIGHT. NOW. she might have gotten her fairytale wedding.

    Why does she insist on mapping out the future with anyone willing to go on a third date? Hell, she even throws away assloads of money on someone she thinks can tell her what the future will bring.

    What happened to LET IT UNFOLD, Julia? Stupid, stupid donkey. Also, cunt.

  44. [Mom is] a powerful deterrent when I want to fall back into bad habits…

    Oh? Then I shudder to think what her mom considers a bad habit. Donkey acts out one bad habit or behavior after another, forever and ever, one nation under God, amen.

  45. I find this blog incredibly lovely, visually, although the writing style makes me grit my teeth.

    But let’s compare and contrast the difference between the effort this woman puts into blogging (without any ambition to sell her blog in three to five years for “fuck you money”) compared to Julia, who considers herself a professional blogger: http://www.tarteletteblog.com/

    I’m struck again by how truly absurd the whole fuck you money thing was, the idea that she would sell her blog (what? really, how would that make any sense?).

    She’s just fucking fool. And she keeps topping herself, amazingly.

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