What Could Be More Pretty Princess-y Than Touring a Volvo Plant?

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I don’t know about you cat ladies, shitheads and Type-A haters, but when I think of Julie Albertson, I think of fluffy pink dresses, puppies, rainbows, cupcakes, chocolate, an unhealthy wedding obsession, tiaras, insanity, sunshine, pancakes, and of course, auto-manufacturing plants located in a land with current highs of about 37 degrees and a love of meatballs. But when a girl’s gotta shill, a girl’s gotta shill.

What could be more Julie Albertson than a tour of a Volvo plant in a city known the world over for its excellent sports teams? And we just know she must be loving the husmanskost! Hope the ButtPrint Cleanse people can Fed-Ex to Sverige!

164 COMMENTS

  1. Someone may have sent a very polite e-mail to the group behind the contest to ask how to put her own name/blog forward for this sponsorship next year. If carplusvacation.com responds, it’ll be posted in RBD comments.

    *wanders away whistling*

  2. INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING: Earlier, for grins, I’d googled: “Julia Allison” & either “Volvo” or “Sweden” (I forget now) > following the results, I happened onto the FB page of one Ms. Lotta Thiringer.

    Lotta’s FB ‘interests’ & FB ‘likes’ links include:
    ‘Julia Allison’
    ‘Volvo Overseas Delivery’
    ‘carplusvacation’

    Lotta’s contact info includes:
    http://www.visitsweden.com/sweden/
    http://www.communityofsweden.com/

    A little bit about Lotta:
    Hello,
    I grew up on the West Coast of Sweden in Gothenburg but have spent almost all my professional life in Stockholm (and some time in Chicago) before I got this exciting opportunity to live and work in New York. My husband and I moved here with our daughter last August and we found a beautiful place to stay in funky Brooklyn, where we feel right at home.

    IN CONCLUSION: Who knows WTF? Mom$er probably did get a new Volvo & Donkey probably finagled some way to get some additional perks out of an already-acquired inducement to purchase. Also: something somewhere had led to a 2010 ‘winner’s’ (lady from CA) & her itinerary of course included a tour of the Volvo museum & plant + pick-up of her new car — whichever of Lotta’s pages led to that info also led to their 2011 calendar, for which NO EVENTS were listed — as in WHAT CONTEST STARTING APRIL 1, Donkey?

    Nothing rings quite true w/ her, ever …

  3. She is really trying to squelch the “mom bought a Volvo” theory.
    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/4159254976#disqus_thread

    The whole thing makes no sense. Even if Volvo thought JAB was a celebrity, she’s not the person they would want endorsing their product — JAB isn’t going to buy a car any time soon (peripatetic!) and her audience, I would guess, is primarily urban 20-somethings who also don’t own cars.

    • She’s a hired gun to ‘promote’ a contest & her standard answer to any contest question is: “I don’t know” or “I don’t think so”? LOL — gooooood job, Donk!

      LEGALESE:
      “No, my mom didn’t buy a volvo!”

      TRANSBRAYTION:
      Okay, let’s split pelts here — DAD$ER buys the effen cars, amirite?

      • Exactly. No matter what the fuck she says. Because it makes no fucking sense that these people decided to fly her mother and her over there to promote some random contest. A contest that at this point doesn’t even exist. And of all the bloggers around the world, they thought Julia Fucking Allison would be the best one to represent them. Fuck off Julia. I will never believe you!

        Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?

        • And she doesn’t even understand SAID CONTEST:
          Commenter: “So do I have to buy a volvo to be eligible for the contest? Looks like that to me. ”
          Julia: “Not sure. I don’t think so. “

      • Those comments cracked me up, the first time I have EVER laughed because of her blog.

        ‘I did not buy a Volvo! NO VOLVOS! No, my mother did not buy a Volvo! Why is everyone obsessed with Volvos? No, no more with the Volvos!’

        • Maybe The Julia Allison Trust bought a Volvo, just like that time The Julia Allison Trust bought that condo …

        • hmm, why would ANYONE be interested in the very product for which you are shilling?! don’t take it so seriously! it’s not the spokeswhore is expected to know ANYTHING about the contest website they are braying about. she DISCLOSED. her responsibility ends there!

          PS. VOLVO

    • Volvo now needs to get some sponsorship going on over here, s’all I’m saying.

      VOLVO VOLVO VOLVO VOLVO. VOLVO!

      Group RBDonk trip to Sweden!

    • old news, darling 😉
      she ain’t known as old yeller round these parts for nothing…

    • Perhaps this is a case of the plumber’s faucet being leaky, or a carpenter’s table being wobbly…too much times spent on paying customers and not enough at home or on the fam.

    • ah hah ha ah hah.

      I remember when I found that out.

      Good for Zucky right? Rockin that au natural hillbilly teeth look lets the plebes relate to her.

  4. After reading the comments I honestly think she’s just stupid (I tots rang) and has no idea why she’s in Sweden, she just got free tix and went with it.

  5. My favorite exchange:

    juliaallison
    6 hours ago
    No … I’m here thanks to the West Sweden Tourism Board, Volvo and http://www.carplusvacation.com – they’re trying to promote West Sweden as a tourist destination. It’s fantastic so far!
    hide 2 replies reply

    lillynvernon
    2 hours ago
    Understood. But if I wanted to enter the contest, I’d have to purchase a VOLVO right?
    hide 1 reply reply

    juliaallison
    1 hour ago
    I don’t think so …

    So Julia doesn’t know the details of the already closed contest she is promoting and is a self proclaimed journalist so she could fucking ask the questions at the Volvo plant she is touring? Good grief what goddam farce.
    She’s banking on the only folk who give a shit about transparency and, well, actual details and information, are the rb cat people. Which is true. Just pisses me off that Julia has never been held accountable for anything.

    • The funniest part about her “I don’t know if you have to buy a Volvo to enter the contest” response?

      If her mother/father/self didn’t buy a Volvo, as she claimed, then she would know for absolute certain if you didn’t need to buy a Volvo to “win” the contest.

        • Seriously, this isn’t advanced logic here.

          Julia says she won a contest and that is why she is in Sweden.

          In response to a direct question, Julia says her mother didn’t buy a Volvo.

          In response to a direct question about whether purchase of a Volvo was required to enter/win the contest, Julia says “I don’t know.”

          If Julia or her mother/father didn’t buy a Volvo and YET she won the contest, she would know whether a purchase of a Volvo was required to enter/win the contest.

          • Absolutely.

            Julie really did miss her true calling, which is that of Corrupt Politician. Her ability to lie and ignore facts that are plain as day right in front of her suits her perfectly for that role.

            But she’d have to ditch the ‘cries at the drop of a penny’ part of her act. And we know she is VERY attached to the crying scenes.

          • ‘… she’d have to ditch the ‘cries at the drop of a penny’ part of her act’

            Or be the next crybaby politico a la B(r)oehner.

      • So, I just attempted to enter the contest. You have to make an itinerary of destinations in West Sweden and then choose the model of Volvo you’d like to take on your road trip, if you win. It didn’t seem like the contest was closed, because it did let me enter, but I could be mistaken. If you actually entered the contest, there’s no way you wouldn’t know AT LEAST what I now know. I just taught myself way more about this contest than she’s told anyone, so where’s my free trip to Sweden?? It actually looks lovely. I could definitely amuse myself for a week or two there.

    • I am so confused, did she win the contest, is there to promote the contest, or there to promote Volvo and West Sweden?

      • Thank you. Julia is doing a shit job all around. If Volvo, or west Sweden, or carjobs or whatever took her on in some sort of promotional capacity she sure isn’t scoring well with the cat people, which is her only demographic and readership.

  6. YOU ARE TOURING A VOLVO PLANT BECAUSE YOU GOT A FREE TRIP TO SWEDEN FROM A COMPANY TRYING TO SELL VOLVOS.

    YET YOU WONDER WHY PEOPLE ARE ASKING YOU ABOUT VOLVOS.

    • According to her travel schedule she won’t be back in SD til the middle of April! Poor Lilly, left for all that time with someone she barely knows.

      Free Lilly!

    • She needs to read[img]http://www.fast-autos.net/diecast-cars-models/diecast-car-image-large/caring-for-your-miniature-donkey-by-bonnie-r-gross_200573703830.jpg[/img]

  7. I prefer to think that Sweden gives free trips to promote vulvas and Julia just now realized she has one.

  8. So, regardless of the total and utter logic fail going on, if she is in Sweden to promote Sweden, Volvos, tourism or a contest, why in the fuck is her blog a zombie zone? Where are the photos? Where are the promotions? What a failure.

    • … that will have to wait until she’s had a bit more time to process it all …

      • How long is the queue now? It must be epic! I am sure that Julia’s tumblr will be literally packed with new content for years thanks to the gold mine of previously unposted content that she’s incubating under her remarkably large ass.

    • I think she is spending her time in Sweden writing up the John Mayer concert that she’s finally finished processing.

  9. JuliaAllison @jveasey – I used to think of them as “mom cars” but their design (particularly the XC 60 & XC 90) has taken a dramatic turn toward stylish!
    about 8 hours ago in reply to jveasey

    I’ve never thought of Volvos as “mom” cars but rather as solid, safe, and, yes, stylish – as in well designed – vehicles for families and utilitarian single folk alike. People continue to stop on the street my sister who has my folks 1992 pre bubble Volvo station wagon about reselling. They are highly regarded, coveted machines. I hardly think the “dramatic turn toward stylish” Julia-ism is doing the brand she is supposedly trying to promoe any favors because Volvo has long thrived on a quietly stylish reputation for decades. Yeah, that’s right, Mom’s car. What a tool.

    • Julia is so unimaginative, lazy, and re re to impress she’ll blow her “tell” just so she can get back to her juvenile Betsey Johnson suck off in her twitter feed.

    • So unsurprising she choses the SUV and compact SUV models. The XC70 has more personality than the 60 and 90 while feeling more “Volvo” to me. The S60 & S80 are also great.

      I am of course jealous because I couldn’t justify the cost of a Volvo this time around and greatly enjoyed the Volvo my wife drove until it finally died. (Lack of cupholders a minor mark down).

      Great cars. Worthless person to speak for them.

      • I used to have a Volvo that I got used in college. I agree, they hold up well, the look is classic, and I like that the douchebags around here mostly drive BMW or Audi. I didn’t mind that mine didn’t have cup holders… the rest of the space was so much more functional than anything else I’ve driven. Eventually, the repairs added up and I went with a Saab 9-5 this time, which is lucky because the mere fact that Julia fucking Baugher has been to the Volvo plant makes me want to vom.

        • I’m not a car person, always lived in cities, don’t drive… But that my folks have Volvos which have lasted for decades, they are still functioning very well on a 2001 model, not an SUV I think it’s a cross-country, give me a chance to go to Sweden as a non driver and I could promote the hell out of the brand more vividly than her her sad ass backtracking tweets. Julia is totally going there as a guest of her mom who is buying a new Volvo and has some time and money to kill. I hope they bond and get some sense over lingonberry jam and pancakes.

          • I drive my fiance to work (she teaches in southeast B’more) and I take the bus downtown from there. Sometimes I take the water taxi (when weather is nice). I can’t wait til the Red Line is running… it will come within a few blocks of where we live and make it to Charles Center in ~10 min. People are so selfish–the Red Line project will clearly help the city as a whole, but poeple get all involved in their own small worlds. Boo hoo, about 50 parking spots on Boston Street will be lost. I think people are secretly worried that thugs from the West Side will end up in their little area of Canton, stealing their cars or mugging old ladies. I can’t see it happening. Heavy police presence + thugs would stick out like a sore thumb.

            Where we live, you don’t need a car, but we have family that lives on the outer suburbs of the city. If it were up to me, we’d use Zipcar (and I have done that on ocassion). My fiancecat has a psychological attachment to having a car at home.

          • @cankle — did you to TFA? Balt Teaching Fellowship? or did you just have ties to the area? usually when people from outside the area end up teaching in B’more, they go through TFA/BTF and end up in some pretty tough areas. I’m sure it’s a worthwhile experience. My catlady is from the area and teaches at the same school she went to as a kid–super-diverse school but really good teaching environment.

          • TFA, of course. That’s good that she’s at a school she loves– that’s so rare in Baltimore. I was terrorized by my principal until I fled town.

            My principal, like Le Donkey, had a raging case of NPD. Disasters abound!

          • Western is such a great school! One of my very favorite students went there (I taught 8th grade).

            So much Baltimore love here. So. Blessed.

  10. Also, anyone notice how she lost her verified status on Twitter? LOL. She’s been downgraded. Again.

  11. OT- I see Foolia’s CareBear and raise her my CareWolf.

    [img]http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/good-fun-funny-0.jpg[/img]

  12. That photo really shows off her horrible nose job. Her mutilated pared down Jacksonesque self hating nose.

  13. I just think its funny this woman is such a boring, flame out of fail, that we’re parcing whether or not she’s tagging along with her mom to buy a Volvo.

    And yet even something this banal turns into another house of lies…god she’s fucking sick.

      • Ssssshhhhhhhhh…hush now. Never you mind.

        Here, have some delicious Cheetos and a bong hit. My mom’s making grilled cheese sandwiches. Do you want white or wheat bread?

        • Omg her mom is a catlady! While your doing some L337 interneting, I’d love to know what that keyring says, hopefully it says Robin Baugher some place on it.

          • she’s demented. completely and utterly. you know she licked that chocolate praline and then put it back.

          • FFFFUUUUUUUU. I love both Volvos and knitting. Why must everything be tainted by donkey hooves?!!?!?!?!!

          • @neverbotoxed: right??!!

            Next thing you know, she’ll be raving about Mumford & Sons and her 1968 Smith Corona Galaxie II that she found at the Brooklyn Flea market.

            I swear to God, if this *journalist* EVER buys a vintage typewriter & starts bragging about how amazing it is to type up her *column* old school, kittens will be punched. AND I FUCKING LOVE KITTENS.

          • I’m with you, neverbotoxed–STEP AWAY FROM THE YARN.

            Also, you know what I bet that yarn shop owner LOVED? Having some bitch with spackled-on foundation rub her goddamn face all over WHITE wool. I mean, disgusting in any case, but I guarantee she left marks.

          • I’m with you neverbotoxed and little orphan. STEP AWAY FROM THE FIBER!!! What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on that yarn. Bitch ruins knitting and doesn’t even know it. That’s not freakin’ Lion Brand she’s cuddling (disclaimer: I’m a catlady so I am making a sweater w/ LionBrand right now. Wut? ShutUp. It’s a woolblend not alllll acrylic!!!)

      • Dr Gary – there aren’t enough bong hits, cheetos or grilled cheese sammies to make me ever believe any human on earth has eyelashes that long. I can’t imagine what that must look like IRL.

    • 1. Why…why does she continue parting her hair in the middle? There was that one photo (posted right after the I WAS INSIDE reveal, yes?) where she’d parted her hair to the side, and it looked *so* much better. Middle part + mullet makes her look chubby and unfashionable and gross, and it’s clearly her favorite hairstyle because she wears it *all the time*.

      2. I adore that Julia with her stage makeup and fake eyelashes during the day and photo shoot mentality is instantly upstaged by the pissed-off chocolate salesgirl, who is five times as pretty as she is.

      • My roommate is OBSESSED with trying to part my hair down the middle. No. No. Only celebrities (REAL ONES) and hippies can get away with that. I look like a moody gothic Cher. I cannot.

    • I think it is SO CREEPY the way Julia poses with food. What normal person poses with a piece of chocolate hanging out of her mouth like that? I feel so sorry for the girl in that photo with her.

      • Also, I love the thought of Julia not being able to plug in her American curling iron in Sweden, so the world is saved from her sausage curls for a few days.

        /thanks unicorns for European outlets

      • Julia’s middle school science fair project.

        [img]http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/randos-wednesday-14.jpg[/img]

    • Why does she insist on staging ‘eating’ shots? It’s fucking disgusting. Also, agree to the commenter above who rightly points out the chocolate sales girl is totally upstaging Stage Make-up Julie’s ass. Super fail.

    • What a weirdo. Who wears full stage makeup and glue on lashes while on a Swedish vacation with their mother? Methinks someone is feeling quite chubby and ugly next to beautiful Swedish women!

    • I just imagined being in a car driven by Julie and now I have to lie down until the room stops spinning.

    • Does that chocolate that Julie’s barely allowing her tongue to touch for fear of falling into a gluten coma still have its wrapper on?

      • Yeah, he’s getting his strut on with that glass of, oh, I guess I’ll be charitable this morning and say Makers on the rocks with extra ice and some ice on the side. When your 1.5oz takes up half a rocks glass… jeezus.

        But I mean, you know how much braying he had to listen to in a car? I’d be halfway through a bottle of Laphroaig just to deaden the eardrums.

        Also, el Donk looks a solid 15 years his senior (nice contortion in the back of the car!) but her face reminds me of
        [img]http://images.wikia.com/indianajones/images/e/e2/Death_by_face_melting.jpg[/img]

    • Ay carumba, they get full size when you click on them after they’ve loaded! Mis ojos!

      I just can’t get over that skirt whose waistline hits less than two inches below her exposed brassiere. Flapjacks must have an Ed Grimley fetish.

      • It’s crazy ugly. It’s like something Zsa Zsa Gabor would have worn on the Carson show in her 70s.

    • Sweet cheesus, that second picture. They are totally that middle-aged, unhappily married couple who get wasted at every dinner party they’re invited to, then get in screaming fights as they collect their coats.

      • CO-SIGN about the Motherboy dance in the first picture! With that outfit and all that costume jewlery, it looks like Jack’s escorting his thrice-divorced mother to a fundraising ball for her favorite charity, Plastic Surgeons Without Borders. She helps raise money to send doctors who normally work on the Upper East Side, Orange County, Beverly Hills and Dallas out to help provide Botox and lip fillers to the poors of the world.

    • Is that a slice of lemon in her champagne glass? KLASSY!

      OMG Dr. Gary! Stop illegally poaching her Shamaceshmook pictures! She forbids you! How dare you! Copyright infringement! All of her friends use their real names on Shmaceschmook and would never ever imagine being anonymous on the internet!

    • That first picture is disturbing. Julia has the facial planes of a much, much wiser woman. Now I’m trying to imagine what Russian Girl might say.

    • If they’re from her hmace shmook, why this mysteriousness, Dr. Gary?

      “Okay, now I feel like someone is fucking with us. Or a certain someone walks among the Cat Ladies. ‘Cause these just showed up.”

      Sorry for being inquisitive. Who knew that JA traveling to Sweden could be SO boring.

      • I just didn’t want to give a certain someone any reason to stamp her hooves and bray to daddy about copyright infringement! Or torturous interference! Or libel and slander!

  14. When I think of my hottest porno fantasies, none of them involve making love to a man who resembles John McCain.

  15. Off topic, but anyone noticed that Lisa’s and Emily’s pages on NS are 404.

    Basically every NS post is just a commented link to some other crap post. No original thoughts, no ‘lifecasting’. Really worse the 99.9% of the blogs I see out there. If it wasn’t before, NS is a complete joke of a ‘business.’

  16. She also just directed readers to “www.carandvacation.com” in her latest shill post…..can’t even get the website address right!

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