What a Great Idea! Publicly Demand Interaction With Your OMG OMG Future Famous Mother-in-Law OMG OMG


CindyhM1: It’s “Fright Night” at the Del. Kate Morgan’s room and plenty of fun!

juliaallison: @CindyhM1 – awww, I wish I could have been there – thank you for inviting me! Has Jack introduced you to my pup, @Lillydog yet?5 minutes ago via web in reply to CindyhM1

She really is both a dating and social media expert! Hey, not getting enough public validation from the famous family you somehow dated into? Use your Twitter account to demand some attention! Your 23,000 followers need to know!


    • And, now to leave an actual comment relevant to the post – Why in the hell didn’t Jabs thank Cindy in the same manner in which she was invited to “Fright Night”?
      (Rhetorical question, I know the answer).
      Does Cindy usually respond to her tweets?

      • Exactly. Did she e-mail her? Call her? If so, either e-mail her back or drop her a line — privately — saying “Thanks for the invite, I wish I could have made it.”

        It seems Cindy is in San Diego. And Donk left for San Franciso for no apparent reason.

        Mysterious. Does she clear out whenever Mom shows up?

        • apparently she has a ‘meeting’ at the san francisco chronicle today.

          I’m betting the ‘invitation’ came in the form of jack saying “oh, my mom’s having fright night friday night. too bad you won’t be here to join in.”

        • #1 if the SF Chron starts publishing her, I will break my own rule and I will complain because I pay for that paper (and not because I “hate” you Julia and want you to lose work, but again because it’s MY MONEY and your writing is horrible and doesn’t belong in that paper)

          #2 I know Twitter pretty well, but I just don’t understand how she adds 50-200 followers per week. I’m guessing it’s because she was grandfathered in as “Verified” (Twitter no longer does this) and must show up on a recommended to follow list somewhere.

          • I’m confused by verified accounts. Twitter doesn’t do this but they verified James Franco, yet denied to verify George Takei. Twitter needs to verify that awesome, filthy mouthed motherfucker.

          • I also read something recently that said twitter quickly verified charlie sheen, like within 24 hours of his twitter starting, he was a verified account.

          • they CAN verify, but one cannot request verified status any more. I know because I tried and was put on a waiting list (of months) then they backtracked and said they were no longer accepting validation requests.

            More Silicon Valley circle jerk (stroking each others’ egos) and knee-jerk fawning to Hollywood celebs.

          • My post should have read “Twitter no longer allows the the unwashed peon masses to request Verification status. It only bestows that validation badge to friends, stars they want to want to bang/ass kiss, and favors for people.”

          • Onocentar: I recall reading a tweet where Takei complained about not getting verified status.

          • So how recent is this new rule? Charlie Sheen (new-ish to twitter) has ‘verified status’…

          • it’s the saddest thing ever to see grown geek white middle aged Silicon Valley geeks gushing & fawning over DList celebs.

            kind of like Julia Allison and Shannon Elizabeth, Megatits, Leven Rambin…..

          • I know Twitter pretty well, but I just don’t understand how she adds 50-200 followers per week

            There are sites where you can pay for that.

          • A non-internetty friend of mine hired a social media consultant recently (not Julia, ha). The consultant told my friend to join Twitter and “got” him 1,000 followers, in exchange for my friend agreeing to follow 50 other Twitters.

            I said, “But aren’t those 1000 followers all on the other side of the world or something?” And my friend said no, his followers are in this country and seem to have an interest in is field (health-related.) He does not know how that works and neither do I, but my guess is a sort of chain-mail system.

            My point is, Julia has more followers every week probably due to gawking haters like us, and because of tricks and deals, as usual.

          • I know Twitter pretty well, but I just don’t understand how she adds 50-200 followers per week.

            A lot of companies seem to have bots (or perhaps indentured servants) running that auto-add Twitterers when their business or a keyword of interest to their business is mentioned. I have a Twitter account that I scarcely use, but every time I tweet something (once a week or less) I pick up some random follower. E.g. if you tweet about “cat food” you might find yourself followed by Iams or Petsmart or a local vet. And there are dudes out there who will follow any woman whose user icon appears moderately attractive, too.

        • Yo, you rude ass donkey — if your response to an invitation is in past-tense, you’re doing it wrong.

  1. Today’s WOTD presented without comment:

    BUMPTIOUS – crudely, presumptuously, or noisily self-assertive

    • In fact, all it needs is a title:

      I See Again in Memory My Dear God What is She Wearing?
      The Persistence of Mammary
      Girl #7 (Ketchup Shoes)
      The Grabass of Earthly Fright Nights
      Et in Arcadia, Egotist

      • <3 brilliant. And I don't make the less than three sign for just anyone. I usually don't do it until the 11th date.

  2. Is it weird to anyone else that every time Cindy is in San Diego, Donk is not? And vice versa? Hmmmm.

    • Here is my guess on the whole deal. From the way Jack’s place is decorated, you can definitely tell its got MamaBear’s prints all over it (that Armoire is the dead give away). Furthermore, ownership of that condo resides in the Hensley Family Trust and not Jack personally.

      Cindy McCain, through another family corporation, spent about $4.7 million in 2004 and 2008 on two condos in an exclusive building in Coronado, Calif., an affluent San Diego suburb noted for its high percentage of military retirees.
      “When I bought the first one, my husband, who is not a beach person, said, ‘Oh this is such a waste of money; the kids will never go,'” she said in Vogue. “Then it got to the point where they used it so much I couldn’t get in the place. So I bought another one.” http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0808/12700.html

      Like Jack’s new clothing, I would guess that Donkey is leaving her pink hoof prints all over the Condo to MamaBear’s and the Hensely Family’s Trust chagrin. I’d be livid if I was MamaBear, not only was she forced out of her own condo by her kids, now the family condo is being turned into Donkey’s personal stable.

      • actually I would disagree. This is IT, guys. This is her chance. If she can’t get Pancakes to put a ring on it, every choice after will be #fail.

        My guess is she’s doing everything in her power [and any weird sexual thing he asks for] to seal this deal.

        • agreed. i think she’s doing everything right for pancakes, mama pancakes and daddy pancakes. she is smart enough not to fuck this up–a great shot at fuck-you money without the pesky work and career to achieve it. i honestly think he will put a ring on it. not sure why, i just have this feeling.

          • I too want the Donkzilla Wedding, but I just do not see her not effing this up. Looking forward to the ensuing mania that comes w/ either.

          • i’m starting to think this as well. and i think the baughers realize “this is it” also. they’re going to fund whatever julia needs to try to pull this off. if it means plane tickets, dresses, electronic gadgets, whatever. they’ll gladly pay. because if she can pull it off, then she won’t need their support anymore.

          • Oh, this is definitely why Momsers and Dadsers are paying the PR person. I just think the attempt is going to fail, because Pancakes can find more interesting punani fairly easily, as a tiny and cute marquee name.

          • it’s bizarre that a suitably-employed privileged kid with a senator father can’t get an absolutely amazing girlfriend who doesn’t have oodles and oodles of skeletons in her closet. at this point, the only explanation that makes sense is that he’s socially awkward/stunted/weird. willingly dating a 30 yr old botoxed-to-hell girl with bad taste who lives off a parental allowance is just… i kant.

          • [img]http://ontariominidonkeyass.com/Events%20Photos/Done/Parade-Donkey_0001-mini-donkey.jpg[/img]

      • I hope she remembered to stow away her tampons in the kitchen cupboard to give it that “homey” feel.

  3. “Has Jack introduced you to my pup, @Lillydog yet?”
    Does this mean Lily is staying with Jack in SD?

    • Lily actually has her own place, a small studio in Venice Beach. She paints and designs surfboard decals. Julia comes over every now and again and they shoot the shit about old days. The Julia says: “Walkies? Wanna go for walkies?” and Lily gets all excited, but when she runs back to Julia with the leash in her mouth Julia is talking on her cell phone and just says “five minutes” with her lips.

      • You mean Mrs McCain’s bizarrely hotel conference room style royal blue carpets with yellow dots.

    • I hate the way she treats that poor doggie. Lilly is a prop to her for fauxtos and nothing else. Go choke on a cupcake, bitch.

    • I assumed she wanted Cindy to follow Lily on Twitter… which wouldn’t surprise me, but your take makes much more sense.

      • I don’t think you’ve thought this through …

        Surely Donkey wants, at the very least, for Mrs. Nutterworth to set up Twitter accts for all of her McDawgs — they should get to know @LillyProp prior to the nuptials, right?

        BONUS: Donkey would have another edge-of-your-chair scintillating topic to hurriedly throw together (X10 over word-count) post-deadline for TMS.

  4. Girl is loco in the heado, she’s posted a picture of her and Taylor having dinner last night, because it’s totally normal to leave your lover and go have dinner with your ex. AND THEN she points out Taylor is single and she’d love to set him up.

    DONKEY, no-one wants to go near a peen that’s fucked a donkey. I am quite skeeved out. I must go vom in a bidet or something.

    • I must go vom in a bidet or something.

      excellent idea, it’s self-cleaning! much more convenient than a shower.

    • Also loving the description she gives of Greasy’s type…

      “He’s really into super-outdoorsy, really intelligent, gregarious and funny gals who are totally down to earth.”

      Yup, the point of this post was tots not just to tell her legions of adoring fans that she, his most recent ex, is like SUCH an AMAZBALLZ person…

      Julia, your narcissism…it’s showing.

      • transbraytion:
        “super-outdoorsy”: i hiked runyon canyon once!
        “really intelligent”: math is HARD!
        “gregarious”: more like nefarious, amiright?
        “funny”: hilarballz!

        • Hellooooo!!!! She totes camped in the Boundary Waters with That Lesbian in the Khakis! Julia is soooo outdoorsy!

          Disclaimer: I do not know that this woman is a lesbian, but with Julie’s braying about her fondness for camping, her Sierra Club-loving, and her insistence that she be straddled by a female donkey hints to me that Julie wants the world to know that she has a LESBO FRIEND, y’all! It’s just like Sex and the City, when Miranda is Carrie’s test-drive-lesbian friend. Er wait, Samantha? JULIA LOVES TEH GHEYS!!!! SHE HAS LOTS OF GAY FRIENDS! HER LOVING OF LADY GAGA IS NOT RANDOM!!!!

          • To illustrate in a Venn diagram which gays Julia prefers: big circle labeled “gays,” big circle labelled “sassy but shallow people,” and the intersection is labeled “Julia’s favorite people to treat like pets.”

      • Okay.

        I have never tried to set up an ex. If I did, it would be something like this.

        Hi guys! Here’s me having dinner with the last dude I fucked. He’s really into not me. Yes, anyone you know who is not me would be good for him. I would not be good for him. Why am I having dinner with him? To slip powerful laxatives into his food. So send anyone not me his way! I do pity that poor bitch!

      • That is fucked up. She’s attempting to alleviate her guilt at throwing him over for the first semi-famous wealthy piece who was finally stupid enough to fall for her. And by stupid, of course, I mean smart.

        p.s. Greasy is way hotter than Pancakes. I’d do him.

        • Well given that Pancakes is a worse looking Buster, yes. I agree. However, I would not spread for Greasy. He is not keut in my opinion.

          That said, MUCH BETTER than Buster, I mean, Pancakes.

          • Taylor always looks like a deer caught in the headlights. That said, he’s cuter than Pancakes, and they’re both much better looking than Julia. She’s just gross these days with her busted face and that disgusting way-too-long sausage-curl hair.

      • No, I think the point of that comment is to say how much he ISN’T in to her. Super outdoorsy? Intelligent? Duh. He’s looking for Opposite-Julia.

      • i believe the outdoorsy part of the description. Greaseball is from Wyoming or Montana (I forget which) originally. also works for an environmentally conscious venture firm.

        the rest of the description is BS. utter BS. politically correct, meaningless pablum that could apply to any guy. what guy doesn’t like down to earth, funny, etc?

        you guys are right–she wrote that description to make herself feel better about herself, and also to appear to be helping Greasybear out after she OBO’d him for Senor Yack.

    • I don’t care how secure of a guy you are, seeing pictures of your girlfriend having dinner with her ex all the time fucks with a guy’s head. I am sure Jack said “it doesn’t bother him” but deep down inside you know it does. Furthermore, how about Donkey recognizing this and not doing it simply because of that reason; not seeing an ex out of concern for your “partner”.

      Where is Meghan in all of this? If my girlfriend was doing this to me, my sisters would be so far up their friend’s ass they’d know what she had for dinner. How about a little family solidarity?

        • I know that dress is ZOMGDVF, but it looks like could have been worn on stage in the Surfside Playhouse production of CATS. Julie could have played Jennyanddots.

      • Seeing pictures like this scare the fuck out of me. What is going on with his hand?!?? Are they touching? Is he deformed? Is this the result of radiation?[img]http://i52.tinypic.com/34hgzgj.jpg[/img]

      • I’m going with:
        Megatit’s hates FlapJack, hence the set-up & endorsement.

        • “Meghan was the more tyrannical of the children – she always kept my younger brother Jimmy and me in line. Until we got big enough to fight back, she was always in charge. Looking back on it, it probably gave me a pretty good sense of how to fight back against the establishment in the small ways that I could.”

      • julia probably initially asked jack to come to san francisco with her, since she was going to the ‘about.me’ party or whatever the fuck it was. however, jack probably wouldn’t kowtow to julsie’s wishes to just go flitting wherever for no good reason, so she invited taylor to go in his place. “see, jack, I can easily replace you if you don’t do what I want you to do!”

        • LOL, during the manic high part, sure, she might have thought that. I am waiting for the part where she jolts straight up in bed next to a naked greasy greasy and realizes she left a horny, rich sailor all alone so she could go to some stupid party all about.me.


    • I can’t believe Jack would be okay with this. She’s such a skank, she probably fucked Greasy.

  5. Remember guys–plenty of social media “gurus” talk the walk, but Julia **uses** social media!!!

    She’s speshul!!!

    (Can’t believe some douchebag actually twittered that reasoning a few days ago. What an embarassment)

  6. From the what it’s worth dept, methinks Donkey is not attracted to Flapjacks at.all. Yes, she salivates at the thought of spending MamaBear’s $$ but Jack is too young, too boring, and too military. But she would never think to be honest about her feelings and risk losing McCain $$. Besides, girlfriend does not have a genuine feeling for anything except photo-shop capabilities. Jack, you seem like the kind of guy that deserve an authentic relationship. Babysitting Lillypoop while Donkey dines with former flames like Rose and Greasy is not honorable, it’s naive.

      • Doubtful. Don’t let this fool ya …

      • Well, if I remember correctly, it was a few days ago that a lonely female reader asked Julia how to meet men and she ignored the question and rattled off all the dicks she’s fondled since anyone had heard of her and Rose was on that list, so yes. He counts.

        Congratulations Kevin Rose you donkey fucker! Kevin Rose of Digg.com who hopefully has a Google alert for Kevin Rose. Son, I am a disappoint.

    • I agree with this COMPLETELY! He is nothing like the dick’s she fondles. Nothing.

      She likes to think she is smart. There is ZERO about Pancakes that qualifies him for the ‘smart’ category in which Julie mistakenly thinks she belongs.

      All her other fucks have cache in this regard, Pancakes is the lone standout.

      I am sure he is sweet and decent and he probably does deserve a real relationship.

      I still really think shit is going to go up in flames. Mostly because I have never before seen such a vigorous and successful self-saboteur as our Julie, point finale.

      • The irony being, I don’t think she has a chance in hell of landing a smart guy — who in their right mind is going to tolerate her childish mentality for any length of time?

        • true dat

          You’d think the McCains would have better golddigging radar.

          You did it Jules! You fooled them all & snagged a richie/famepoon! Now seal the deal! We want a crazy donkey wedding, “projects” you dabble in with Megatits & Mama Pancakes while Jack is off getting favored treatment as a fly boy fighting for his country

          • I believe that Mama Cindy is going to make it clear to Pancakes that he doesn’t have to buy the donkey seeing as he’s getting the milk for free. There’s only one star in a Neely O’Hara picture, and THAT’S NEELY O’HARA!

        • Agree! Her desire to be with the smarts and the cools is designed to fail. So she has to go for Buster 2.0 (right down to the condo, people!).

          I am not sure I think this is going to end in wedding cake, but I am certain more preferential treatment is on the horizon for Buster 2.0. Which could drag this out potentially.

          • It’ll be interesting to watch, that’s for sure. Will her deep desire for a big fat wallet to support her big fat lazy ass overtake her deep desire to be the most braying asshole on earth married to a Princeton educated (insert impressive sounding smartsy occupation here).

            She really fancies herself quite special intellectually, but she also loves cash money like any good prostitute. I wonder which will win out!

        • I’m with the “This is going nowhere” camp. Once the novelty of dating a batshit insane donkey wears off, Jack will be screaming, “Holy shitballs, what was I thinking?!!” The person Julia marries will have to be as heinous and personality-disordered as she is, and Jack doesn’t seem like that kind of guy. No man who has his shit together will ever marry Julia Allison. She can get plenty of sane guys to date her, but marriage? No. She’s destined to marry a loon.

          • See, my bet was always on a homely, wealthy older gentleman who thinks she’s really hot and is, frankly, too ugly and lazy and old to find better. I still think I will be correct.

          • Oh, the older rich gentleman will also have very, very poor self-esteem. The McCain shit is just not adding up.

        • He also finished near the bottom of the class in college, while majoring in political science. Your GPA has to be pretty low at Annapolis to be in the bottom 10%. For reference, one of my brothers had barely 3.0 and he was still ranked somewhere in the 400’s. This brother also took pride in doing the absolute minimum to get by, liked to party, and was a varsity athlete or else he never would’ve gotten into USNA in the first place. I really can’t imagine how dumb or anti-intellectual Flapjack must be to finish so low. Especially since “performance” counts for about 1/3 of your class rank and it’s basically how you’re rated by upper classmen and the CO of your company. Given that flapjack was 3rd gen USNA and has a senator dad… it would be amazing if he didnt get good marks in “performance”.

        • If this is true perhaps Julezie Baby should enlist him as her OMG Internationale Column Editor and give Momsers a break.

    • This. Plus how much you wanna bet he doesn’t “read enough?” You KNOW she loves “the readers.” She only reads self-help books and mass market crap, but for some reason she likes guys who read a lot and really fancies herself an intellectual lover. I can’t imagine they have anything to talk about.

      • The only way to verify SAT scores is to have a screen shot of them, they do not give those scores out at all.

  7. Sad.com She really wants her own Mark Z., Dave Morin or Jack Dorsey and she knows it is not happening. Watching movies is just not going to cut it for Princess OBO, she deserves to be whisked off to Cabo or Belize.

  8. Anyone think Donkey’s mtg w/ SanFranChron has to do w/ her move to CA?

    Nahh, me either.

    • Naw, it’s a transparent ploy to get another distributor for her vanity column by shoving physical tits in a physical face. She used daddy’s money to fly all the way to SF so she could bullshit and drink with her ugly friends and then spend 15 minutes begging an overworked, skeptical editor to run her $10 column. I know you failed math Julia but even if they pick it up, it would take decades to recover the cost of you flying here in the first place.

      She must think she is such a hardworking little hustler. lol.

    • An error (500 Internal Server Error) has occured in response to this request.

      (what I get, anyway)

    • There are actual, literal donkeys more eloquent than Julia.

      It has been pointed out that for someone who constantly bills herself as a writer, her writing is embarrassingly, obviously terrible, not just in terms of content, but even the most elementary aspects of the language.

      Her other self-described strength is her ability to conduct conversations – in fact, she once described her goal when she first hit NYC as finding a way to “get paid to have conversations,” if I remember correctly. But any time she’s recorded speaking, the effect is Uncanny Valley human-like miming coupled with the verbal eloquence and control of a malfunctioning sprinkler-head.

  9. Crowdsourcing time! So my laptop is on the fritz and super old. I do a lot of freelance graphic design and web development work. So I’m torn. Should I get an iMac or MacBook. I live the mobility of a laptop, but prefer a large screen for my freelancing. Should I just get an iMac and iPad? I need some mobility, but not for the major stuff.

    • I don’t think the iPad is worth it, honestly. If you’re going to spend the money, you might as well go with the MacBook.

      I have one and I love it. You could always upgrade to the MacBook Pro if you’re feeling adventurous…

    • My work requires nearly constant interaction with a computer, and I’ve used Apple products for 15 years (both lap and desktops), and the MacBook Pro is by far my preference.

  10. I know this has been said, but it’s happening to me now. I just kant with her anymore. She has no redeeming qualities in my opinion. She seems like such a self-centered jerk who cares for no one and nothing that doesn’t benefit her that I find her physically unattractive to the point she’s revolting just to look at. Everything little thing about her is ugly, and I’ve become so disgusted by her that I can hardly even read about her anymore. I don’t want to see her picture or hear about her newest low. I’m succumbing to attrition of the can’t be bothered with donkey anymore. I don’t so much hate as I avoid. I don’t want to see or hear anything about her. Congrats, Julie, you’ve reached irrelevancy in my eyes. Now, I feel what most of NY feels about her. She’s no longer even train wreck status anymore. She’s the meh of gross.

  11. I haven’t read through all these comments yet, but I BET, I BET WITH ONE THOUSAND WORTHLESS DOLLARS that she hasn’t cooked her boyfriend a meal in that house. Nor given him a totally swallowy blowjob.

    Poor boyfriend. Sad face 🙁

  12. @juliaallison Julia Allison
    Me: What is a reasonable time to date before you get married? Elly: I thought you said “… Before you get equity?” #LOLSiliconValley

    she really is pushing this marriage thing. run away pancakes, run away!!

    • Are either of those people even married? Leave it to Donkey to monopolize happy hour convo w/ OMG! Weddings! BS.

  13. Did my post get deleted, where I said the only reason I think Pancakes and Donkey are still together is that she lets him fuck her up the ass?

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