Julia Allison Thinks the Ringleader of a Group of Notorious Cyber Bullies is Hot

So Julia Allison wrote her listicle for Nerve that singles out the ten sexiest web geeks at last week’s SXSW. Those included are people Julia Allison is actively trying to suck up to, but that is to be expected. There is those two from Small Girls PR, who Julia tends to mention frequently; a writer from Fast Company, a magazine that is inexplicably on Julia Allison’s radar right now; the guy who gave her an iPhone case; and Sklarge, who is looking hot in the article’s photo of her, if I may say so myself — very Mary Louise Parker, who is near the top of my “I’d Stick It” list.

Of note, however, is the inclusion of Christopher Poole, also known as “Moot,” founder of 4Chan, that anonymous hive mind that is notorious for launching aggressive and effective cyber bullying campaigns. He makes the list at #5.

5. Christopher Poole, founder of 4Chan

If power is an aphrodisiac, what is having a horde of anonymous soldier-hackers at your every control open-apple command? One word: 01101000 01101111 01110100. That’s right: hot… in binary! In fact, Poole’s loyal band of online followers managed to earn his 4Chan alter-ego a place on Time’s 100’s Most Influential People List in 2009. Not bad for a guy who was known only by the code-name “Moot” until July of 2008. He’s spoken everywhere from Yale to MIT (he was one of the keynotes at this year’s SXSW Intereractive), he’s still in his early twenties, and with his sandy blondish locks and tall, lanky frame, Poole is a veritable geek Adonis — a total catch for any gorgeous geekette.

So which is it? Anonymity and power is sexy? Or it is something that must be quashed with already stretched government resources? Stay consistent, Donks. You are muddling up your message.

266 COMMENTS

  1. you can’t really muddle your message if you’re not entirely sure of what your message is to begin with. given that she can’t even give a fifteen minute speech that is concise and clear, I’m doubtful she really has a message beyond “my feelings are hurt. stop hurting my feelings!”

  2. juliaallison: Michael Musto sums it up better than anyone: “Fuck You Anonymous!” http://bit.ly/i9OkT1 (re: anon web haters/bullies/cowards)

    Which is really funny since 4Chan is known for the group Anonymous. Didn’t she defend them last year?

    • Didn’t one of the catpeople here originally mention Musto? Hmm, a new low of crowd sourcing or coincedence?

      • Yes – that link was posted here sometime last week. Strange and worrisome that she’d just stumble upon a week-old column in the Village Voice on her own!

          • Remember this? “Angie Harmon looks like she got into a fight with a cotton candy machine – and lost.” – my hysterical manager Steven (whatevs, I love the gown, obviously!)”

            — that line about the cotton candy machine was directly from the comments here, too.

          • the damned dress was from here too (as I posted it and said I found JA’s wedding dress & the next day she had it on her blergh)

        • I posted it. You’re welcome, Donks. Glad to have done some research for you. Do I get to call myself your International Intern?

  3. “having a horde of anonymous soldier-hackers at your every control open-apple command “

    eh, what? he is not “the leader”. he does not tell 4chaners “go SWAT so-and-so”.
    my cankleshausen is creeping up again… she tries so hard gives everything a half-assed try. and fails. always.

    • Yeah, that whole description was cringe-inducing. Just say you’re afraid of 4chan and be done with it, Julia.

    • what does “control open-apple command” even mean?

      does “ctrl command-O” do something special?

      • The Apple key (note cap) is the command key on the Mac keyboard. I can’t remember the last keyboard I had with both open Apple and closed Apple keys. I think it was back in the OS9 days.

        She is so dumb, for real. Run and tell that, homeboy.

        • Maybe it’s a typo, instead of open it’s supposed to be control-option-command? The article is riddled with typos and errors, so I’m assuming it was another mistake.

  4. Again, feel free to relax, JP! She was just coming up with a silly, cute, fun and tiny list for Nerve! Don’t take her “serious crush” so seriously! She only meant it – at the time!

  5. 01101000 01111001 01110000 01101111 01100011 01110010 01101001 01110100 01101001 01100011 01100001 01101100 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 01101011 01100101 01111001

  6. I wonder if she thinks fawning over him will prevent /b/ from coming after her. Or is that giving her too much credit?

    • I think she is actually fishing for 4chan’s attention. Target of 4chan = instant news story!

      Remember a while ago when she tweeted how she has a crush on him and on all of 4chan collectively? Oh donkey…. you really don’t want to go there.

    • lol – anon is 100000000000X worse than anything posted on this site, let alone the sheer hypocrisy/irony of Julia’s choices

      I’m sure Julia is just /b’s type
      (of person they like to make fun of)

      Seriously she is so ridiculous. She wants to cyberbully-police this site out of existence but she worships 4chan. Whatever, idiot!

      She will never, ever, ever get it.

      • Wait, what? Eighteen-year-old script kiddies won’t valiantly leap to the defense of a botoxed 30-year-old with calves like softballs? Reality is melting away from me.

    • This was my first thought. “Cute”, tiny, helpless, social media expert needs help from Anonymous/4chan/whatever to join in her crusade against internet bullies.

      Don’t you get it? THESE are the internet police!

  7. Transparent Donkey now pretending to be good person

    # I make monthly auto-donations to both @ASPCA & Planned Parenthood (@PPact) – am looking for a women’s rights charity to support, too.
    less than 20 seconds ago via web

    Oh fuck off donkey, keep your $2 a month donations. Also, until you learn to stop shoving your tits into things as a form of manipulation please stay away from women’s rights.

    • Dear Julia, As a woman it is my right to comment anonymously on the interweb. How ya like mah rights now Julie?

    • Planned Parenthood? That’s the charity John McCain is going to vote to cut funding for soon right?

    • It’s so tacky that she’s just looking for random charities to support via twitter crowdsourcing. You support a charity because you genuinely believe in their cause – not because you want to randomly throw some money around. Why doesn’t she ask her pal Sklarge for some recs??

      • Classy people do not brag about charitable donations or volunteer activities. In fact, they don’t much talk about it at all.

        (Note to Donkey: That post awhile back involving the commenters listing off their volunteer activities? An exception to the above to demonstrate how wrong you were when you thought you’d cleverly called us out on leading unproductive lives spent only hating hating hating.)

        • She’s probably just trying to suck up to Cindy, who tweets pretty frequently about various charities and causes.

          • But Donkey is so very dumb that she doesn’t know that Planned Parenthood is an anathema to the McCains?

    • Julia Allison donates to Planned Parenthood and wants to support women’s rights and yet she voted for Mark Kirk. Apparently “Kirk reversed himself on reproductive rights. After narrowly winning re-election by misleading his constituents into believing he was pro-choice, Kirk stated on September 30, 2009 that “I strongly support the current U.S. law, sometimes called the ‘Hyde Amendment,’ which prohibits taxpayer funds from being used to subsidize abortions.” Kirk is against all federal funding for abortion, the excuse they used to cut the Planned Parenthood funding.

      Julia, please just shut up and fuck off, you’re a hack.

      • Today is really turning out to be an extra special Donkey Dissonance day. You know, that special ruffly pink cotton-candied JA brand of cognitive dissonance.

      • I hate Mark Kirk and I hate donkey for voting for someone because he’s “a good family friend” without knowing much about anything he stands for.

  8. Uhhh… I don’t think she’s using ‘adonis’ correctly unless Moot over there has been hitting the gym something fierce lately.

    • There are literally so many words used incorrectly in that article, that it’s honestly embarrassing to me that it was even published. She’s so very bad at this writing thing, and I am really not just saying it because I can’t stand her ass. I mean she just blatantly uses words incorrectly, just because they are BIG WORDS and make her sound SO SMART! It’s really quite hilarious and also sad. Really says so much about her. “If I say EFFUSIVE it makes it better! Effusive! Effervescent!” Shut the fuck UP you tart.

    • It’s a nerd best-of list, and not having a ponytail/scruffy beard/acne/cape/stupid t-shirt is Adonishood in nerdland.

  9. Her twitter replies to people questioning her about bullying are so SO embarrassing. Just stop Julie. It’s making me embarrassed for you that you devote so much of your time to thinking about us little ol catladies.

    • Jesus fucking christ, let get this fucking straight. We do not want Julia Allison to get fired nor do we want any of her boyfriends to break up with her. I would LOVE to know which “employer” fired her because of this site. Or which boyfriend broke up with her because so. Contacting employers and boyfriends is highly discouraged from the mods of this site, and we are not representative of any individuals who do so. They are not acting on our behalf. She has a proven track record of ruining opportunities on her own.

      • she will never admit any of that because then she’d have to prove it

        which she can’t
        and would ruin her new “whoa is me” cause

        • You know if she just fucking proved it, I would think twice about posting. Seriously, where is this proof that this site has DIRECTLY caused her an employment opportunity or relationship. And by “directly” I mean that this site has actively interfered in the employment or personal relationship, not that this sites existence has changed someone’s perception of Julia.

          • See, the thing is, she conflates EVERY HATER with this site. Which is retarded. IS she serious? She’s been on tv how many times and written how many shitty articles and been on Gawker countless times bla bla. She flatters herself thinking her only haters walk among us. I’m sure there are legions of people who can’t stand her ass that don’t even come here/aren’t in any way associated with this site. Also it’s not against the law to contact a company and say you have an opinion about X person, even if it DID happen, which I doubt. And her bullshit about defamation is making me wanna freak the fuck out. If you have a case BRING IT AND PROVE IT or else STFU.

  10. @CindyhM1 – We are trading places! I am in San Diego now – and SF on Thursday! Terrible weather here though. 🙁
    about 2 hours ago via web in reply to CindyhM1

    Julia and Cindy both seem to be in San Diego a lot and juuuust missing each other. I wonder why that is?

    • And she’s going to SF why exactly? She is a one woman sisterhood of the traveling pelts, that one.

    • Stop sucking up to Cindy, you idiot. It’s not gonna make her like you more/hate you less than she already does.

  11. Now she’s all up in the comment of the Nerve article:

    Mar 22 11 at 1:40 pm
    Julia Allison

    That’s totally out of line. Rachel is GORGEOUS, both in person – and in spirit.

    Seriously, stop it with the schoolmarm bullshit. This was her response to to some comments questioning Sklar’s inclusion, as if stating that you don’t find someone “sexy” violates some kind of ethical norm.

    • It’s kinda tacky to comment on her own article, right? I’m no journalist … but this does seem a little naff.

      • Totally tacky. Someone asked her to defend herself about the bullying shit. I’m sure she will be there momentarily. What a loser.

  12. I cannot fucking stand the way she writes. Cannot STAND IT. She tries and fails to sound smart. Ugh. Put down the thesaurus you dumb donkey. In other news, I was contemplating joining Nerve personals today and as soon as I saw her article on the home page, I decided against it. Don’t wanna be a part of any club that has her as a member. She’s so goddamn irritating to me.

    • She’s clearly never heard “Kill your darlings.” Darling Julia’s darling writing is all darling, no substance.

  13. From Julia’s Department of Wanting it Both Ways: she writes a listicle for a soft-porn website about the “hottest” geeks… then wants the cyber police to knuckle-wrap anyone who makes superficial/mean comments.

    You invite people to oggle public figures and then get righteously indignant when someone says something rude? That’s so post-post-post feminist it’s almost… misogynistic.

    Look, they’re being horny/juvenile/superficial on nerve.com. It’s what they do. Don’t like it? Don’t take their money and/or give them content for free.

  14. So we are evil cyber bullies because we mock a woman who posts her every thought, photo and bowel movement (Blueprint Cleanse, anyone?) for our critique, but the man who founded a website that goes after 13-year-old girls and supposedly fake cancer patients is a geek Adonis? WTF?

    I understand he can’t be held responsible for everything that happens on the site, just like Jacy and JP can’t be held responsible when a reader goes rogue on Julia, but 4chan lives in the darkest corner of the Internet dungeons and we’re just in the basement with the cat ladies.

    Maybe if we could contribute to the advancement of her career (?) we too, could be drunk on tech-punch instead of Franzia?

  15. I just noticed this too on Soraya’s blurb:

    >>Nothing gets a geek excited like half a mil on a social-media network. Damn, lady, retweet me, will you?

    All about mememememe. Julia, the Transparent.

  16. Oh, is this the list she compiled after crowd sourcing for recommendations on twitter? Nice “work”, as usual, Jules!

  17. OT but I just found out this morning that an on-off friend of twenty years who has a homeschooling blog has her own hate blog! She discovered it by accident a year ago and only told me about it today. I’ll admit, it was very strange to read anonymous attacks against someone I know personally (and they were gruesome — yikes). I’ve been at my desk trying to work all day and keep finding myself staring out the window, thinking about it. Of course, I stare out the window a lot under the best of circumstances, so.

    Worst of all, she’s certain it’s family members behind the reblog, and given many of the details I would have to agree. Horrible.

    • There is a hate blog devoted to me. I crossed a Tea Party wingnut once. He has said vile, vile things and it’s relentless. Guess what? I couldn’t give a shit.

      • Oh yes, I wouldn’t give a shit either, unless I found out it was my SIBLINGS. And then I would be crushed.

      • As I posted before, I think she wants all of this blog’s emails and names because she wants to know who of her friends and family hate her, hint: most of them.

        • My friend hired a private detective — sad emoticon — and discovered it was two of her brothers. With Jacy it’s sort of a good thing? because she (whatever her private profession is) might welcome a Tea Party brayge, whereas my sometimes-I-too-want-to-kill-her friend found out her family was harvesting her most intimate and vulnerable moments in order to express their loathing of her. THAT is what kept me staring out the window today. I even called my sister and told her the whole story, to which she responded, because she is evil, “Yeah, I would have done the same to that bitch a long time ago.” Maybe I understand nothing about life.

          • is this true? pioneer woman hired a PI to find out who was exposing her untruths and exaggerations? it kind of figures, i’ve always thought she was a phony. she’s definitely not telling her readers the real story, which is OK because her readers are kind of dumb (many/most are hard core christians who read her home schooling site)

          • I typed “pioneer woman s” into Google and it promptly autofilled “sux” for “s” (what an age we live in, huh?) I was APPALLED to see this HATERBLOG is hosted on WordPress. Maybe Julie could go to bat for Ree, who certainly fits under the rubric of ALL THE GIRLS, and get it deletemated forevermore.

          • Sorry, I’m an idiot who can’t read. PWS uses the WordPress framework but is independently hosted, much like RBD.

            *scrolls to bottom of page to double-check*

            *cracks up upon seeing what the boilerplate “Powered by WordPress” text has been changed to*

          • @Mini Driver, Intergalactic Bully

            OH. my God. I just scrolled *down there* to see what it was and I also cracked up. Last time I checked, I think it still said ‘Powered by Donkeys’.

          • I had no idea PW had a hate blog. I wish there was one for that phony ass mommy blogger du jour Kelle Hampton. It’s hilarious that Julia thinks she’s the only one with a hate blog on the whole big ol internet! Hey Julia, ever heard of ____ Without Pity?

          • Big Head, no, not PW (whose site I’ve never seen but have heard about). My friend’s blog has almost no audience which made the whole thing even stranger.

        • Ha!!! That is hysterical. This site ALWAYS has hidden little cat-nip thingies popping up.

      • Also? From the Alameda Something-Something, an excerpt from the column that was so difficult: “Voices that get heard are usually rich, bored — or really, really loud.” Heh.

        • What a sad little column in one sad, sad little paper. Also is that the one that starts with something like “Exactly 10 years ago I worked as a legislative correspondent on The Hill.”

          EVERY COLUMN IS ABOUT HER. Holy shit. She’s still talking about that fucking job her parents got her 10 years ago, after she failed out of Indiana University. NO ONE CARES. Christ.

  18. para Julia:
    Living Without Presents The 2011 Gluten & Allergen-Free Expo
    http://www.livingwithout.com
    Living Without, the nation’s leading magazine for people with Celiac Disease, gluten sensitivity and food allergies, has become the title sponsor of the 4th annual Gluten & Allergen Free Expo, to be held April 29 – May 1 in Chicago.
    #servicey #lol

  19. LOL! Check the comments on the Nerve article before it’s too late. Apparently JA listed Sklar as the founder of “Hashable” (whatever the fuck that is) and Sklar herself shows up to say she in fact, is NOT. What a retard. She can’t even get facts straight about her “friends.”

    Journalism, you suck at it.

      • Am I reading too much into it, or does Sklar sound a bit pissy about Donkey’s choice of photo?

      • Totally agree JP. Difference being Sklar sounds HUMBLE. JA does not possess humility, so she can’t pull that off.

          • Bumble, crumble, fumble, rumble, stumble and tumble are all up for grabs, however.

            You could always pull a Uriah Heep and describe her as ‘umble.

  20. “Poole is a veritable geek Adonis — a total catch for any gorgeous geekette.”

    If you think ALL THE GIRLS are important to Julia Allison, let me disabuse you of that notion — you need not apply unless you are a GORGEOUS geekette, m’kayyyyyy?

    • I kinda like how this article is a little who’s who of people who are better at “new media” than Julia Allison. And how she lists herself as “Founder of Nonsociety.com” at the end. Because when I really wanna know anything relevant about technology, I will read an insipid listicle by someone who claims to be the “founder” of a personal tumblelog.

      • JFA,

        Did you think that the first sentence of Sklar’s response was a dig at Julia (i.e. showing desperation by posting pointless photoshoots of oneself to one’s site)?

        • You didn’t ask me, I know, but … I’d like to think that if any of Editor-at-Sklarge’s response was muzzled snark, it was this as a dig at bobby-pin-mulleted tit-thrusters:

          …”when you pull the hair back from my face I am hideous and grotesque, best to stay far far away; there are indeed plenty of hotter babes in the tech community, with or without their cleavage…”

        • Hmm, I don’t know. I’m getting the sense that she is embarrassed by the whole thing, and she’s too nice to say so. Which is probably the default response of many people who come across the Donkey.

  21. Also she’s such a moron re: her tweet about “actual malice” which we all apparently have “in spades.” It’s a LEGAL STANDARD, princess. I don’t think she has any fucking clue what she is talking about, going on and on about defamation. Christ on a bike, it stings, the stupidity.

  22. The comments on that article are great. Looks like most are by readers of nerve, not omghaters.

    • I love to see free speech in action, I must say. My fave is this one:

      KS

      Good point, actually. I don’t really get this piece. Even nonsocial.com (author’s website) is not a geeky endeavour; it’s just a personal website. So sad that people don’t recognise true creativity anymore. I am writing a comment on a website; am I a geek?! 😉

    • Except for one or two commenters, they all seem to be people who have never even heard of her and therefore haven’t heard of this site. Yet still, she engenders rage and distaste.

    • 2/13 NS blogs are permanently down. (Emily Rose and the Canadian).
      3/13 NS blogs haven’t been updated in the last month+. (Limited Watercress Experience, Photography blow my mind, Money Shot Asha).

      with Mary and Jordacted, that makes at least 7 people who have run screaming into the night after being associated with NS. Teej also seems to be on the way out, with his OutspokenNYC thing.

      Madam Web Founder, could you find the time to finally upload a media kit to your OMG personality-driven media platform? sounds like you were able to sucker someone into producing it for you for free.

      • Pretty sure Melissa Kondak hasn’t posted in a month or so also. And I think you’re forgetting some of the others because, well, they’re pretty forgettable.

        • Photography blow my mind = Melissa.
          and the others are still posting, I checked…

          • well thanks for checking in on that little slice of #fail. in the past, i noticed that crystal basically just posts about her wedding (blahhhhh boring and unoriginal) and arax is unspeakably dumb. lindsay campbell seems likable and somewhat talented, probably the best of the bunch. tj and katrina are just hideous to watch in action. you throw up a little bit in your mouth upon realizing how ridiculously contribed and self-obsessed they are–just like our donks.

      • How does this chick actually sign articles for websites like Nerve as the “founder of Nonsociety” when it’s such a jumbled, embarrassing mess? Also, I just love how Asha has functionally disappeared, never to be heard from again. Has JA mentioned her at all in months? What a sad life.

        • I know! Her “sister”, her BFF disappears off the face of the internet and Donkey acts like she never existed.

          OT, but I wonder if Masha and Maremare still talk. They seemed like they were close for a hot minute, but Mary never mentions her anymore either.

    • People, I saw TJ on the street last night. He looks less old in person. Did not catch any of his conversation.

  23. Sweet raptor jesus, I bet she’s never even been to 4chan. It’s obvious she doesn’t even know that /b/ is just one of MANY sub-boards — and they don’t call ’em /b/tards for nothin’. It’s where PEDOBEAR was born, fer chrissakes!!!

    Yo, Donkey, you and /b/ have something in common — you’re both known as the Asshole of the Internet. If you want that elite group of solder-hackers (aka teenage boys looking for fap and/or gross-out material) to notice you, you’re going to have to post a titty pic. Be sure to pose while wearing a shoe on your head and holding up a sign that says ‘camwhore.’ Yay, feminism!

    Fucking dumb cunt.

  24. OK, now I have actually read the article. Some thoughts:

    Exactly why are these Small Girls PR noteworthy? Because they will Tweet for you? Or because they have vowed to wear prom dresses for a month? For a client? Um, and I say this as a person in PR. . . OK, then. I’m sure they are sweet, hardworking girls, but I have never heard of any of their clients and they seem to do what any decent, in touch PR firm does. So what makes them special? The fact that they’re tiny and cute? http://www.smallgirlspr.com/clients.php If they are so great, why isn’t NonSociety/Social Studies/Julia Allison’s Personal Brand a client?

    The Fast Company Dude: Awesome perpetuation of Jewish stereotypes from Julia Allison who is 3/168ths Jewish herself. She doesn’t even know what “mensch” means, and the use of “mensch-y” doesn’t even make any sense.

    The Zazzle Dude: “They are bodacious, and I mean that in the most ironically hip of ways.” Just shut the fuck up.

    Sklarge: “She’s bouncing, bubbly, grinning, and ridding the world of snark and bigotry one Canadian compliment at a time. . .” I guess that’s how you can describe someone who is always talking shit behind your back.

    The Groupon Dude: “Andrew Mason is, in a word, delectable. You want to eat him like a very soft pot brownie, because that’s how you feel when you read some of the amazingly bizarre and hilarious things he says: high. Very, very, very high.” I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Julia Allison would benefit greatly if she just got very, very, very high now and then. Toke up, Jules!

    Soraya: First, one of my favorite names. Second? “Oh, you know, just a total hottie who graduated from Georgetown, went on to basically run New York social media as the manger of digital partnerships at the New York Times” Um. . . “run New York social media”? What does that even mean?

    The ValleyGirl chick: Never heard of her.

    The Tom’s Shoes Guy: “But surviving reality television (the second season of The Amazing Race) with your value system intact? Now that’s hot.” Oh, that’s why you turned down all those reality shows that turned you down. You wanted to keep your value system intact.

    • “Social media MANGER.” (Yes, it’s that way on the original article.) Haaaaiiii, catlaydeez!

    • Does she even know what Tom’s Shoes is about?

      #ordered_my_1st_pair_last_week

    • haha, exactly. is “mench-y” code for jewish? that was ridiculous! could she have gotten any more menchs in there?

      • I am Jewish, 100 percent, and I am offended: we Jews are known for being smart and funny, and this was neither

    • I love the reference to getting high. Bitch has never been high once in her life. That whole article made me want to punch kittens, it was so nonsensical and riddled with misuse of words and terrible phrasing.

    • “Canadian complement” is my new term for “undermining two-faced cuntiness/a practitioner thereof” which is in turn appears to be synonymous with “being friends with Julia Allison” a la Sklar, Emily, Katrina, Caro, etc.

      ex: “Get the fuck out of my face, you Canadian complement.”

  25. Has anyone taken over my handle yet? If so, I will rename. I stopped following the JA nonsense for personal reasons that involved a group of people erroneously associating me with her in social circles, but now I’m back, because every time she gets all up in Moot’s ass I feel like vomiting.

    Moot is the most ridiculous, acne-scarred, mouth-breathing d-bag I’ve ever met in my entire life. I had a roommate last summer who WORSHIPPED the kid and held Street Fighter tournaments in honor of his visits to our city. The dude expressed his appreciation by spending long hours having self-important phone conversations in my kitchen (the kind where you SPEAK REALLY LOUDLY AND OVERLY SPECIFICALLY ABOUT ALL THE COOL THINGS YOU DO SO THAT PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND EXACTLY HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE), running the air conditioning in 107-degree heat with the windows open for an entire week, and awkwardly locking himself in our living room with his… girlfriend? whatever… in the middle of the afternoon.

    I’m sorry, but the dude is an overgrown dweeb with Backpack Syndrome (you know, like, he walks like he’s still carrying the giant backpack?), and I can never understand why this bitch gets all up in his shit.

    Also, her patronizing “he’s fat but so rich!” commentary about Andrew Mason makes me want to vomit in the shower.

  26. “he was one of the keynotes at this year’s SXSW Intereractive”

    Intereractive? I know her standards are low, but how hard is it to hit spell check right before turning this fluff piece in? I guess her TMS column editor does that bit for her as well.

  27. Hmmm, Julia used to own itsmejulia.com, but now it seems someone else has bought it. Was it one of you catladiezz??

    • LOVE IT. One of my faves. I don’t know who I’d bone first, Gael Garcia Bernal or Diego Luna. Really hard choice, Gael Garcia Bernal is maybe more gorgeous but Diego Luna looks SO MUCH like a college lover I will always remember fondly. I really like the movies treatment of class issues too. Yeah, class issues and hot Mexican men FTW.

      • I used to have this back and forth relationship with this guy who looked exactly like Gabriel Garcia Bernal, but at an acceptable height, because Bernal is a shorty. It was this passionate relationship that dragged on for years, but neither of us was emotionally available for one another, meaning when he wanted to move forward, I didn’t and vice versa. Man that was hot, fucked up, but hot.

        • Oh my god, JP, I dated someone who could have been the twin brother of Gael Garcia Bernal. I am a lady and this guy was short, so I suppose we weren’t involved with the same person, but … the fucked-up hotness sounds very familiar. Maybe people that attractive are always a little fucked up?

  28. Has anyone figured out why Donkey is clomping all the way to Sweden? If she’s at all consistent, her reason for going must be ostensibly work-related, because she found Denmark “boring,” so she probably wouldn’t return to that part of the world without a Sirius Bidness Laydee reason.

  29. Bullied Swedish schoolboy given bodyguard

    “He (the bodyguard) is educated and has worked with problem children before. As long as he is there, then the boy won’t be subjected to violence.”

    Could this be the reason?

    • I think that would imply Donk is putting effort into her work. I don’t think she’s going to go from crowdsourcing “what’s a geeky way to say hot” to hopping a flight to Sweden to have a personal sit-down with a bullied kid. (Besides, Zangief Kid is the hot bullying story). That’s what email and skype are for!

      Plus, more likely she’d talk to someone who talked to the kid instead.

  30. Saw this and thought of you, catladies;

    [img]http://img204.imageshack.us/i/brayvt.jpg/[/img]

    O/T but if any of you feel like leaving the basement/pausing your errands at your desks could you please fill in this: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/6t393qg . It’s for my MA (not the Donkology one) servicey thanks.

    • I took it but for the very last question I had no good answer. My answer would have been “Being less butt ugly” or something like that. i am not even sure what was being advertised in those images… the clothes?

          • Ha! I feel about behind the times as Julia Allison, but I just started watching How I Met Your Mother and holy shit it is hilarious. I haven’t watched formula sitcoms in years and it reminded me of early Friends, back before it became the Ross and Rachel show and was actually funny.

          • I just started watching it recently too. NPH makes this show. There would be no show without him. 🙂 It is very funny and I like that the female characters have jobs and friendships and don’t whine much.

    • Actually, Tuesday is new column day. Yesterday was Tuesday, Tuesday. To-day is Wednesday, Wednesday. Tomorrow is Thursday. And Friday comes after…wards

      • HA! Was the new one about Votizen? Or was that last week? In a sure sign that she is out of original ideas, she is now soliciting questions for a Q&A column. She really cashed in all her chips with the cyberbullying column, didn’t she?

  31. Despite what’s surely about to fall under the tl;dr category, I’ve never commented here before and it’s finally time. First of all, I love this site. Thank god for it and for the smart, hilarious people who run and support it. I adore that someone is calling this stupid idiot out on her shit.

    I started following Julia a long time ago, just before she and [redacted] released the photo shoot of the two of them riding a horse on the beach. I know him personally (not well at all – he’s just an acquaintance and we took a class together a few years ago) so I was intrigued/amused by his dating someone so…uh…pink? since she didn’t really seem to be his type.

    At first I thought she was cute. Seemed quirky, successful, interesting. But after I stuck around a while (and witnessed their ridiculous public break-up), I started finding my mouth agape a lot. I remember one of the first things that turned me off early on was reading some of her simple-minded comments about women when they’re “PMS-ing” and how she blamed so many of her feelings and moods on her “PMS.” I don’t know why that bothered me so much, but it did. Who knew that wasn’t even the top of the tip of the pinhead of the iceberg.

    Over time I started becoming disturbed, appalled and eventually revolted by this woman’s lack of self-awareness, hypocrisy and worst of all, her inability to humbly accept when she’s made a mistake, suck it up and explain or apologize to her readers and fans for her misstep/lie/rude comment/thoughtless post/inappropriate brag/sexual assault tweet. I certainly don’t think she owes anyone anything, but I do think she’s lost a lot of fans, friends and would-be job opportunities (and boyfriends!) over the years because of her unwillingness to accept criticism or be humble. It’s not a matter of the Internet being a mean, scary place that will attack anything that moves; it’s a matter of personal integrity, online or off. If you act like an asshole, people in your life will start to walk away, especially if you can’t ever own up to your being an asshole. (And no, Julie, owning up to it isn’t saying “I’ve only been an asshole 8 times! That doesn’t count!!!”) It’s Therapy 101 that the common denominator in one’s problems is oneself. But I wouldn’t expect a hard-headed, spoiled brat like Julie to begin to understand that. She’s capable of understanding, but she precludes herself from the need to do so.

    I don’t think I’d care so much if she was sharing valuable content with the world. But when you’re supposed to be a journalist and you can’t even master the most basic grammar rules (not to mention when you blatantly refuse, as a “social” “media” “expert” to even acknowledge some of the most influential social media news stories of our time), I have nothing but disdain for you.

    “What’s better than a mensch-y tech writer with a master’s in mathematical behavioral sciences? How about a mensch-y tech writer with a master’s in mathematical behavior sciences…”

    First of all, it’s MENSCHY, you stupid fuck. There’s no need for a cute little dash (and you have no idea what that word means), but fine. Secondly, it’s MASTERS, YOU STUPID FUCK. There’s NO APOSTROPHE. Master’s ?!?!?!?! AND YOU WROTE IT TWICE!?!??!?!

    And no, I will not feel free to relax, Julie. You feel free to get a handle on your shit, you vapid bitch.

    Before I wrap up this novella I just have to say, in case she’s reading (Hi, Julie!), there isn’t a reason on this planet, IMHO, that any human being should be TWEETING about their mother’s tragic sexual assault in the interest of proving a point to anyone. That is not only an automatic unfollow but it’s one of the lowest acts I’ve ever witnessed by someone who claims to adore her mother and be a loving daughter. Where were the cyber police that sad afternoon?

    PS DONKEY

    • I love with when a lurker cracks. The release of years of pent up brayge never ceases to leave me awe-struck.

      • Jinxies! The lurkers cracking comments are some of the best on this site. I wish we could collect them in one place because they really are hilarious.

    • Bravo. I love it when lurkers finally crack and I really love the funny things that send them over the edge, in this case “mensch-y.”

    • Damn, you wrote a column. Now please lie down and relax. Wipe your fevered brow with any spare tutu you may have lying around. Also, inhale a cupcake through your nose, this will stop your breathing and consequently works as a painkiller.

        • It’s truly amazing that commenters here can fire off well-reasoned, grammatically correct, multi-pointed arguments here in a matter of minutes while it takes her all week, revisions from her editors and a couple of manic all nighters to turn in a poorly written column of the same word count. And most people write here while they’re taking a little break from their job (don’t tell our bosses, Julie!!) or goofing off on the laptop while watching TV. And it’s not our JOB.

        • There, there. Shhhh…everything’s gonna be okay. Yes, I know. Shhhhh…it’s okay. It’s your first time. Happens to the best of us. Just take a few deep breaths and relax.

      • Yeah, it should have an apostrophe, since it’s a degree belonging to a master. m-w.com and wikipedia agree.

      • I’ve seen it both ways, depending upon how it’s used. Usually if the word “of” is involved (Master of Education), the ‘ doesn’t seem to be used. However, my degrees are in Computer Science, so I probably should not be offering grammer opinions.

    • Welcome, delurker!

      Here, take this bag of Cheetos and make yourself comfortable on the couch over there. Don’t mind Mrs. Fluffykins and Mr. Scratchybottom. They love it when we have new friends over. Good thing you didn’t wear black! My mom’s gonna make grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. You wanna watch Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope or Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back?

          • Everyone is welcome at Dr. Gary’s basement! Just tell my mom that you’re here ‘to study’.

            Only requirement: you must bring pot or snacks. Preferably both. You will score major points if you bring any of the following: rice krispie treats (that you or your mom made ONLY. not the fake ones they sell at the store. they suck), mini powdered Hostess donettes, Del Taco 39 cent tacos with extra packets of mild + medium sauce, Crunchy Cheetos (duh! i like the regular flavor, but you can bring the Flamin’ Hot ones, too), Mike’s Hard Lemonade, Purple Kush, Blue Dream, Sour Diesel or Strawberry Cough.

          • Dr. Gary, if I can get my hands on some Jack Harrar I’ll ride my bike over later.

      • You’re totally right. I see that now. My mistake. (See, Julie?! ADMITTING MISTAKES!! Feels good! Win friends and influence people!) I think I’ve been permanently dumbed down from all the years of being exposed to her that/which handicap.

      • I have both a bachelors and a masters, and right until this moment, I had no idea that it required an apostrophe. Of course, the only time I mention either one is in a resume, and it all gets spelled out (Bachelor of Arts, Masters of ___).

        Horrifying to admit, but true. I had no idea there was an apostrophe involved in any way.

          • bwahahaahhahahahhahahaha.

            I read this in a Jewish mother’s voice, shaking my head and pounding a kitchen counter to punctuate every word.

            “BUT. AH. YOU. MAH-REED?”

            I think I just found a novel new way to shut down any female conversation.

  32. Julia Allison, outsider:

    “My favorite quote from Gaga: “‘Born This Way’ is about saying, ‘This is who I am. This is who the fuck I am!’”

    That’s a rallying cry for those of us who feel different – and who have been made to feel that difference is wrong, or bad, or unacceptable for whatever reason. I count myself among those numbers.

    And for those who choose to spend their time judging others, telling others that who they are isn’t okay – telling others that who they love, how they dress, the way they act isn’t acceptable, isn’t appropriate, isn’t right – Who are you to say what someone else should be?”

      • so true. Intelligent Design is bullshit and so is “teaching the controversy”. Julia Allison, similarly, is B.S.

    • this is someone who holds the record for saying “how dare you?” and “Who do you think you are?”

    • So how is Julia “different”? More privileged than average? You don’t know the pain of being rejected by Princeton and Stanford!

    • eh, I don’t know. lady gaga seems to be a sereeuz bizness laydee who works her ass off. I doubt that she wrote ‘born this way’ as an anthem for 30 year old layabouts who want to suck off their parents’ teat until a man comes along and opens his wallet.

      I can’t decide if I should laugh or throw up from the idea that julia allison counts herself as ‘different,’ right alongside gay teenagers who can’t come out for fear of being shunned by their family members and gay members of the military who can’t be open about who they love for fear of losing their jobs. one of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong…

      • Yeah in what way exactly does Julia feel “different?” Because she had to have several surgeries to get the right nose instead of just one?

        • I’d like her to detail how exactly she was “bullied” in middle school or whenever she said she was bullied. Um… everyone was bullied in middle school! It’s called being in middle school! If she felt like such a shunned outsider all through adolescence I seriously doubt she would have rushed at Indiana.

          • this! I was bullied hardcore in elementary school by my group of girl friends, so much so that I was in the nurse’s office at least once a week, hyperventilating into a paper bag. I moved, and high school was significantly better, even though in my close clique of friends we all took turns torturing each other (but I think that’s just how teenage girls are: evil). when I got to college I still was too afraid of ‘mean girls’ to think about rushing a sorority.

        • This, she is completely uncomfortable in her own skin. If she can’t accept herself, how can she tell people to accept who she is, which is AN ASSHOLE.

    • Oh, how society RAILS against outcasts like Julia. How does she do it? Constantly worried that she’ll be straight-bashed as she walks down the street because she’s holding her boyfriend’s hand, unable to legally marry the person she loves – herself. It’s illegal and that’s a civil rights issue that society should do something about!

      She can only shop at specialty stores like Neiman’s to find clothes that fit her size and her pocketbook, her parents have disowned her because of her radical political views of not having views, she’s been turned down by top tier graduate schools because math is hard. Why do some minorities have quotas for admissions, but not the dumb? That’s an issue society should look into!

      Folks, her way of being is so marginalized by the mainstream that the only person who will date her is a simple enlisted fellow. How he accepts her, she has no idea. Everything she cares about is so different from him – she loves technology, pretty dresses, and architecture. WHO ELSE THINKS LIKE THAT? I’ve never heard for anyone else that like those things. It’s a completely foreign and unique set of interests.

      In fact, she’s so despised by “normal” society that she must scurry from one town to the other before someone catches on that there’s a total deviant in their midst. She likes the color pink! Do you know what it’s like for girls who like…… no wait. I will not minimize it. Do you know what it’s like for ALL THE GIRLS who LOVE the color pink? It’s an unspeakable horror. And I for one, look forward to society having a long discussion about it!

    • Is Diane Von Furstenberg making a wrap cross for donkeys to hang themselves on?
      Martyr much, JAB?

    • “And for those who choose to spend their time judging others… the way they act isn’t acceptable, isn’t appropriate, isn’t right – Who are you to say what someone else should be?”

      Um…Julie, so what you’re saying is that we cannot have a cyber police then?

      WHO ARE YOU TO HAVE JUDGED US JULIE?

    • This is so stupid. I could ask her the same question: “Who are you to say what we should be doing on our own website?” And for the love of God keep doing what you want and never stop being you, Jules! We have plenty of popcorn that is waiting to be nommed.

      And if the world ran according to her logic in this passage, no one would be allowed to give a whit if someone is, say, “loving” animals or wearing a suit of human skin.

      God she’s so stupid. SO. STUPID.

      HOW CAN SHE BE

      SO

      STUPID.

    • it’s hard being a white female from an affluent socio-economic background. 🙁

      when will the government step in to help these down-trodden people?

  33. Julia posted a pic of Lilly on Coronado Beach. 99% certain from the pic she is not at the dog beach which is the only section of Coronado Beach where dogs are allowed. God I hate this bitch.

    • Also, Julie will have you know that she makes a monthly automated donation to the ASPCA (only after seeing it mentioned here, and only of $2 per month), but that means she can do whatever she likes with her dog. She is Julia Allison don’tchaknow and she can do whatever the hell she likes.

      • julia would never break any rules about dogs being in inappropriate places.

        [img]http://28.media.tumblr.com/NB8YioMLi2yv61kuHOdSgwpZ_400.jpg[/img][img]undefined[/img]

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