Why Isn’t Julia Allison Supporting the Current Face of Cyber-Bullying?

Frankly, I’m sick of talking about cyber-bullying, because no matter how much she spins it, Julia Allison is not a victim of bullying as it pertains to the moderators and the vast majority of RBNS/RBD’s commentariat. Julia Allison spent years pursuing the public spotlight, and she can’t say, “La-La-La! It’s just a hobby now! Never mind! Did you hear I just hired a new publicist and was at SXSW seeking out every opportunity to be interviewed by press outlets you never heard of?”

I just find it peculiar that Donks claims she is embarking on this anti-commenter crusade to protect ALL THE GIRLS, particularly because one of those girls needs help right now: music video ingénue Rebecca Black.

Now I have not seen the video in question, but how can anyone pick on her? She seems sweet and innocent, and we all did stupid, misguided shit when we were 13-years-old. Shame on you, Internet Sue! YOU ARE FORBIDDEN!

Thank god, Rebecca Black has an advocate!

Um. . . err. . . oops!

Despite making cyber-bullying her cause célèbre, Julia Allison has been notably silent on the red-hot Rebecca Black story. In fact, Julia was complicit in the some of the cyber-bullying herself.

Granted, it’s not exactly vitriolic, but it is sort of bitchy and mean. And Christ, Jules, the girl is only 13! Surely, Julia Allison didn’t need to promulgate (see what I did there?) this innocent girl’s mistake to her 23,000 Twitter followers with a negative opinion. That’s like stampeding Little Miss Black’s lemonade stand and telling her that she sucks!

Won’t you think of the girls?

And though this story is gaining traction in the mainstream media, Julia hasn’t mentioned Rebecca Black as a timely example that would help further her cyber-bullying campaign. She must be seething that Good Morning America interviewed that poor victimized nobody instead of Julia herself. SHE IS NOT RANDOM! She is working with our government right now create a new department: Donkland Security: Cyber Police Division!

The nerve of ABC News! Why the fuck would they interview that stupid little girl when Julia Allison just gave a wildly lauded speech on the issue! And she wrote an international column about it! It was printed in a couple of third-rate newspapers that are distributed in a scant few of the top 1,000 media markets in America! Julia should have been on Good Morning America! ABC News has interviewed her before!


These girls need help, and Julia’s willing to give it. That is, unless, 4Chan goes after them, then it’s hilarious!

Remember Jessie Slaughter, the young teenager who really could’ve benefited from some parental supervision of her internet activities? No? Allow me to backtrace it for you.

Yeah, it was kind of nuts how big that story blew up last summer. It was heinous that 4Chan went after Jessie Slaughter despite her coming across as an annoying and obnoxious brat. The attention wasn’t deserved. But at least Julia Allison didn’t praise 4Chan. That would be hypocritical of her!

Dude, she was crushing hard on those anonymous, basement-dwelling cyber-bullies. Her willingness to attach herself to the-story-of-the-day makes her current awareness campaign kind of moot, doesn’t it?

Isn’t backtracing wonderful?

Julia Allison didn’t use her 1,354,693,589 online social media accounts and platforms to defend Jessie and Rebecca. (Those poor girls!) But her glaring oversight could be forgiven. I’m sure Donks has been furiously drafting legislation that outlines her cyber police plan. It had nothing to do with the fact that Julia Allison only thinks about herself.

AnnieMN: Well, I didn’t see your talk, but I did read your latest column on cyber-bullying. Can you please elaborate on what your proposed online police force would do? What authority would it have? How would it punish people – fines? Internet restrictions? How would the content of blog posts and comments be judged? What is the law to be enforced? Would individuals and communities no longer be able to choose to be anonymous?

I’m interested because I’m writing a dissertation on policing, and as complex as issues about rights protection and democratic policing are, it seems that they would be even more fraught and undefined when it comes to the internet. Your policy solution seems a little empty right now unless you can provide a more rigorous definition of what the cyber-police would do and how they could do it given the existing legal framework.

juliaallison: These are all great questions. I don’t necessarily know the answers, although I think it’s certainly time for society and government to discuss what this would entail. . .

Yes, please do Julia’s advocacy work for her. She just came up with the idea of institutionalizing a thought-police state. It’s up to you to flesh out the details. She’s too busy picking out bridesmaid’s dresses.

(On a side note: I quite liked the original emerald green dress. The subsequent suggestions? Not so much. The idea that people will be thinking St. Patrick’s Day at a July wedding is fucking stupid. And, Donkey, as the maid of honor, you really need to suggest the bride pick a dress that is flattering to most figures and not one that is just flattering to yours. Though, I still cannot believe you haven’t realized that the A-line dress is a cut that is doing you no favors. The same with maxi-dresses. Stop it.)

So, unfortunately, I think it is safe to presume that the cyber police won’t be getting “You Got Mail , Motherfucker!” on all our assess any time soon, because Julia simply does not have the time to orchestrate the course of the national conversation. That’s not an advocate’s job at all. (Actually, it is.)

She read a couple of emails that called her knees “fat.” She’s done, y’all. You’ll have to talk about it amongst yourselves and do the rest of her job for her.



  1. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

  2. Off topic, but I went to her site for the first time in a while and I almost commented! But I’ll put it here instead. Here’s what Julie said:
    “I’m getting psyched about his Easter outfit – which he’s letting me pick out, even though he 1) abhors preppy clothing and 2) probably isn’t all that into pastels. But he knows how much I love themed holidays, and he’s willing to throw on some seersucker if it makes me happy. That’s love, people. :)”

    And I, having been married for 4 years, was foolish enough to believe that love was not trying to change your SO. Understanding that they might not have 100% of the same interests as you and that’s a good thing. Hell, my husband is building an arcade cabinet for our basement right now. Do you think that’s what I want down there? No, but I’m putting my sewing room in the guest room. So we’ve made a nice compromise and we both have our own space. She’s just such a self centered psycho that I can’t believe she ever gave dating advice!

    • Yeah, i had similar thoughts. I don’t push my man into wearing stupid shit to make me happy.

      He does a shit ton of work to help me in my life and career and I let him be him. And the same is extended the other direction.

      This relationship has the distinctive flavour of a middle school romance.

      • You have to wonder, why does making him wear stupid shit make her happy?

        Is he nothing more than a giant Ken Doll?

    • What she is describing is him indulging a child. When I was four years old I’d make my dad embraassing ties out of felt (one said DAD) and he’d wear it briefly to humour me. My mom would let me put children’s barettes in her hair. When I was slightly older they stopped indulging me this way. Well ok I bought my Dad an ugly tie on a high school trip to Ireland and he wore it, but I was unaware that it was embarassing at the time. She knows he doesn’t like or want to wear this stuff and is happy he’s just humouring her which is weird.

    • She treats her boyfriends as though they are life-sized Ken dolls. Because, of course, she believes she’s a life-sized Barbie — along with all the accompanying (pink) accessories for a Barbie life. Where is her pink convertible, bunnies?

      • Ken has to buy that for her. Duh. You know how Barbies have themes? Julia is Entitled Dependent & Unemployable Barbie! Complete with fake philanthropy (to Komen) and jelly haterz! Buy the Quincenera Birthcray Madness, Subsidized Pink Palace, and Sirius Journalest Laydee Expansion Sets! Writing skills and ability to treat people as ends in themselves rather than as means to your end are not currently available.

  3. Julia, if you answer everyone of these charges, I will fly to Chicago and interview you. I won’t go any farther geographically than that, as I’m on the east coast, but if you are willing to answer questions concerning your own history of bullying, I’m on my way. I’ll write up exactly what you say, as long as you answer every question, and I guarantee it will be published. I will not defame this website or its creators, nor will I unnecessarily draw attention to the mods, which is only fair and balanced. It’s in your court.

  4. Let me give you a hint, Dissertation Lady. Julia Allison’s idea of how the Cyber Police should work it Everyone Stop Being Mean to Julia Allison! Full stop.

  5. 1) I tots agree with you about emerald green. I wore emerald green to my prom and no one said hey, St Patrick’s day. They said, hey, what an awesome dress you are wearing. That color really becomes you. But thinking of the photographs, if they are over looking the ocean, the dresses should maybe be a little lighter so as to pop more. That would be my advice. I’d go a little closer to pale green/blue for that setting.

    2) As annoying as these teenaged girls are, I do pity them. They are young and dumb and made mistakes they should be readily and easily forgiven for if they grow up and move on. These girls truly did face a shitstorm of which Julie has no notion of. This tiny corner of the internet is nothing compared to what these girls are dealing with/have dealt with.

    3) Lastly and most importantly, Julia Allison and her ilk are the LAST cretins to be leading and shaping these teenaged girls. Her fucking antics are part of the problem, not the solution. They need Madame Someproblems School for Girls: How to Be Yourself, A Confident Person of Quality Substance. I would start Julie out in first grade, where she belongs.

    • This, one point I missed in the point is that we maintain that Julia Allison is a public figure, but that is not why she has a vocally critical online audience. She pursued her status as a public figure by putting out a product: herself. She touted herself an tech expert, a founder, a writer, a journalist, a dating expert, a columnist, a television personality, a cable news talking head, a product endorser, a feminist, an example of a positive female role model. But her attempts to actually do anythings well have been a complete and utterly remarkable failure. Why? Because she’s lazy and entitled and selfish and narcissistic, and those are the qualities that she chose to broadcast relentlessly. She chose to make herself a product, a commodity, and to make money off her personal brand and turn a blog sideways and call it a tech start-up, and there was a resounding backlash.

      She may not be much of a presence in media circles anymore, but I think the reason why most of us stay, besides the hilarity of the commenters, is the utter disbelief that, after 30 years, she still does not get it. She still doesn’t get that she’s lazy and entitled and narcissistic and selfish. And people get bored with her, but when they do, she does something so completely rude or bitchy or shocking or heinous to draw criticism again and again and again.

      If she just quit the fucking whining and actually did something productive with her life and did it well, I guarantee you much of the criticism would cease.

      As for now, I can’t believe this show is on it’s 30th season! And while there are more and more lulls in the story, it still is at times completely engrossing from a voyeuristic stand point.

      If Julia doesn’t like the voyeurs, she can grow the fuck up or shut the god damn blinds.

      It is all her choice, and she’s an adult. She doesn’t have the idiocy of youth to fall back on like Jessie or Rebecca no matter how many kinderwhore outfits she puts on.

      • I agree with all of this, but am going to re-quote what I believe to be the crux, the lynch pin, the some kind of special adjective, as it were:

        And people get bored with her, but when they do, she does something so completely rude or bitchy or shocking or heinous to draw criticism again and again and again.

        If she just quit the fucking whining and actually did something productive with her life and did it well, I guarantee you much of the criticism would cease.

        So much! If she fucking did something of substance, the criticism would really wind down in a big way. Especially if she made good on that first big effort and continued to self-improve.

        One’s work will always have critics, sometimes vigorously so, but even if they disagree with you/don’t like your work, they have to respect you when you work hard and conduct yourself well.

      • THIS! thisthisthisthis. this is my thisface.[img]http://turbo.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2010/02/catgif8.gif[/img]

      • ‘brand’ is the keyword here. Sorry, plumpkin, but you cannot claim that your are just ‘some girl’ who stumbled into this unrelenting spotlight when you also turn around and unabashedly try and instruct people on ‘personal branding.’

        Brand = product, and that is what Julia Allison is. Sometimes a brand is also a burn on the ass. JA has shamelessly marketed herself, selling her body and ‘expertise’ for years now. She has latched onto the notion of ‘personal branding.’ Branding is inherently commercial, which is how she wanted it until it didn’t fit her narrative anymore, at which point she became the girl who cried ‘bully.’

        She embraced her scarlet J — even to this day with her personalized necklace — and sells herself at every opportunity, yet she is unable to accept that not every brand is loved! I don’t buy Rockstar or Starbucks, I stay away from WalMart and Target, and I refuse to buy Kimberly-Clark. Similarly, I do not buy into JA’s bullshit rhetoric about her allegedly innocuous life.

        You simply cannot commoditize yourself and then become indignant when the consumers cry foul!

        Face it, Julia, you either are a brand, or you aren’t. If you are, as you’ve so willingly opened yourself up to be, some commercial property to be consumed, you cannot adhere to some principle that you are above reproach.

        Dammit. I am drink, and not sure I am making my point. However, I do feel like I ought to rip out all my old grad school texts about the commoditzation of the person, and change my PhDonk major.

        • Your point is awesome. I wish I could be so well-reasoned when I’m drink. I’m tots jealous.

  6. Bravo once again. I’m happy Julia thinks it’s time for a “discussion” for “society and government.”. Question is, what happens when someone says somthing bad or god forbid the truth- would that be comsidered bullying? I’m looking forward to Julia’s engagements as an expert on the morning shows. It would be interesting to hear the perspective of a self proclaimed Celebrity 2.0 48 year old cyber bullying expert.

  7. Now she’s “bullying” LAFitness:

    @LAFitness – I’m having some pretty serious trouble with your club. Can you have someone get back to me? Thanks!

    • i think her “serious trouble” is that she can’t find the door to the club, though it’s in the same building as the OMG downtown condo.

      • More likely that they are not coming to pick up her raft ass and deliver her to the gym.

    • I thought the club was in her building. Why not go down to the lobby and ask them?

      PS: GADHI. (Some catladies speak Hindi!)

    • Why does this need a tweet???!!!??? Contact them you fool. Don’t don’t tweet that if you want action.

      What a moron.

    • Hahahaha

      LA Fitness: “We don’t allow animals in our gym, they can’t hold dumbells with hooves. Also, we don’t want your sweaty pelts stuck all over our machines, and also your tracksuit stanks as you have been wearing it for five days. Please remove yourself from our building.”

      Haha Julie, even LA Fitness are bullying you. Poor, poor Julie, people just don’t like you.

      • Twitter should make a special exception from their 140-character limit just for this.

      • I love how it’s necessary to post only screenshots of (not links to) Donkey’s twitter. She never reads here, you guys.

    • “Bullying” is truly what she knows best. She doesn’t have the people skills to deal with the plebians at her location. It’s unlikely she can flirt or bray her way into not paying for the many periods of time she is out of town if it violates their hold policy.

  8. Rebecca is a 13 year old girl with parents who indulged her desire to be a singer by spending a lot of money to allow her to make a music video.

    Julia is a 30 year old woman with parents who continue to indulge her desire to be a journalist/fairy princess by letting her live in their OMG!Downtown Condo pretty much rent free and putting pressure on media companies to give her a column.


      • I really don’t know why the Baughers cut her off, and I’m an only child, so zomg I guess cutting off should be a big deal. But it’s not. Robin? Peter? My parents provided well for me but I haven’t “seen it.” Since I was 16, I know I have means, but I don’t know the exact monetary amount, and I have to work my ass off. They only helped me through college for tuition. Room, board, sorority* etc was my responsibility, and at my Southern school, it was a LOT.

        *By the way, Donks, I have a shit ton of your DG “sisters” as friends, and you never went alum. You transferred. So you depinned. Sorry, not allowed to use the Delta Gamma name.

        Donkey, I’m younger than you, a military wife, and have a thriving career of my own. My husband will deploy to any part of the world at this point. I’d like you to kindly STEP THE FUCK OFF, and if you want to play Military Wife someday? Oh baby, I dare you. Because I’m a Southern girl who can outbitch you any day of the week with your weak-ass weave and Kim Z plastic surgery. Let’s go.

        Oh, and your “zomg I’m with a McCaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnn” is so cute, but you’re not a wife. Talk to us when you’re actually married, your husband will go to a fucking warzone, you have children who might never know their father. When you find out you’re pregnant right after he deploys. You have no idea if your baby will know his/her awesome father.

        You and Jack? Fine. Because you can be with him, and from your blog, he can take off whenever he damned well pleases. Must be nice to be a McCaiiiiiiiiiiiin.

        So for all the non-senators and non-sons-of-senators? Fuck right off. Being a military wife is a really hard fucking job, not some sentimental value.

        And if you want to talk to me, actual person to person? convenientfeminist at gmail dot com. We’ve met several times in person.

        • I should say, um err oops, i will give my real name, twitter, etc if JA emailed me about being an actual military wife. Must be nice for your dude to make his own schedule, but if you’re an OMG McCaaaaaaaaain, I guess you can.

          Bless your heart, John McCain, Cindy McCain, Jack McCain, Meghan McCain. Julia Allison is not exactly the person you’d want to be involved with.

        • High five from one southern gal to another! I agree… Julia wouldnt last two seconds in the dirty dirty.

          What school did you go to? Was it SEC?

        • The fact that she rushed in her freshman year is what makes me not believe that she was bullied in high school. If I had just spent the past four years of my life crying every day and dreading going to school because people were being SO MEAN to me, the last thing I would voluntarily do is sign up for rush. Maybe Greek life isn’t as cutthroat at Indiana as it was at my massive Southern school (woot woot, Southern catladies!), but it’s not an experience I would want to go through if I had just spent years being bullied.

          It amuses me that Donks was a DG. She would have fit in perfectly with my school’s DGs: not pretty enough to be Tri-Delts, not smart enough to be Pi Phis, not slutty enough to be Thetas (I say that as a Theta, and a slut).

          • Interesting. At my PAC-12 school at which ~10% of the student body is Greek, the sorority stereotypes are quite different. DGs are gorgeous in a bottle blonde sort of way and rich (but not excessively bright), Tri Delts are the sluttiest by a good bit, Pi Phis are cute and smart but alcoholic, and Thetas are probably the least purty on average but are also probably the smartest. Obvs, Donkey prolly meshes best with DGs in this case.

          • I went to a massive southern school too. I agreed. She would have been eaten alive by southern sorority girls. They don’t mess around. DG was kind of the average girl sorority at my school. ZTA or AOPi was probably the most popular.

            Where did you go?

        • Wow, there are so many fellow Southern cats here! I had no idea. I feel like there should be a regional basement meetup sometime. I would provide Cheetos, Doritos, Fritos, and mojitos.

          • Excellent. You can bring taquitos. Seriously, though, I didn’t realize how many southerners were here until the past two weeks or so. I guess we’re the lucky ones, since Donks never comes down here.

        • Clearly, I need to quit commenting on here after Franzia.

          I might actually need to stop reading here. I love the comments but this bitch… I just kant.

  9. Silly JP, an advocate doesn’t propose solutions! An advocate picks out gowns and costume jewelry, spackles on makeup, and gets her nails did for the fundraiser!

  10. It’s a good point, JP. Over the span of just a few years, she has literally claimed to be an expert in many, many areas:
    * a legislative aide and possible Obama speechwriter
    * a college dating (not sex!) columnist
    * a writer
    * a columnist for a free paper
    * a columnist for a local magazine
    * a cable television talking head (read: gossip)
    * a tech founder (*snort*)
    * an internet talkshow host
    * a journalist!
    * a television travel show segment host
    * a muse
    * a syndicated columnist (appearing mostly in free local papers)
    * an advocate

    In Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell lays out his 10,000 rule — that you need to practice 10,000 at a given taslk to become an expert. Looking at the list above, the only thing that Julia has practiced for 10,000 hours is posting pictures of herself. She has to look at the list and realize she’s a complete and utter failure…

      • Does “bola” somehow mean: “The bastard offspring of Eustice Tilley and Ronald McDonald?”

        I hope so.

        • Malcolm Gladwell bodysnark? Really? I hope it reads dilettante who shapes the facts to fit his theories and feigns way more expertise in math/science than he should. The “Igon Value” debacle still rankles, and in a very Julia-ish move, he wouldn’t really take responsibility.

  11. Great, JP!

    Also, so true that those looks never flatter her at all! What makes her think with her shape a maxi dress would be right…. eek

  12. Why Isn’t Julia Allison Supporting the Current Face of Cyber-Bullying?

    Because she’s a lying cuntsore who glommed onto this cause in a ham-handed attempt to silence legitimate criticism?

    • [i]Because she’s a lying cuntsore who glommed onto this cause in a ham-handed attempt to have some kind of identifiable cause once she becomes an OMG senator’s son’s/future politician’s wife?[/i]

      Fixed that for you.

    • Oh, “cuntsore” I like. I am cuntsore from all the banging last night. Can be both a noun and adjective, correct?

      • When I told mine about the LIU tattoo, I said, “And imagine — she got it during a very brief time she was failing to be convincing in her ramshackle hipster costume. Now she’s pretending to be a demure Republican! Whatever to do?” He said, “Did she save all that body hair she had removed? She could make a little wrist merkin.” I shouted, “I HAVE TOLD YOU TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS WOMAN.”

  13. CindyhM1 Cindy McCain
    What will Kathy Griffin do next? Kick and elderly person in a wheel chair?
    14 March

    Oh oh MamaBear was caught bullying, quick call the cyberpolice! DONKEY you must immediately contact her and make her “agree that cyberbullying is an absolutely unacceptable way to treat other people [and that she is continuing] the cycle of harassment” with Kathy Griffin. We must “ensure that they don’t hurt others.” MamaBear why are so mean, don’t you have anything better to do?

    Donkey put your money where your mouth is, call her out on your blog like you did to us haterz. I love that MamaBear posted this the night before Julia’s shitshow in the Learning Annex, a little passive-aggressive me thinks.

    • Also, I heard from a friend that Daddy McCain was bullying the PRESIDENT! That’s like doubly illegal, right?

  14. So going to the University Club with daddy is “the best part of being in Chicago!”. God help.

    • Actually, the best part is when the check clears!
      Dad$er is strictly incidental, right after the cupcakes.

    • It amazes me that she can “live” here — I’ve been in Chicago my entire adult life (21 yrs in June) and half my childhood — and go absolutely nowhere other than Hub51, her parents’ house, and the University Club. Oh, and strip mall prom dress stores. Is this because she stays up until 4am every night and sleeps all day, so there isn’t anything open when she’s awake?

      • Well she is too old for the Depaul bars, would get her ass kicked by the hipsters down by six corners, the South Side Irish are beneath her, can’t/won’t keep up with the drinkers down in Wrigleyville, is persona non gratis for her support of Kirk in Boystown, and probably can’t get in/afford any other clubs like N.V. That only leaves Lincoln Park but who would she go with?
        She is like that annoying roommate of the girl you are trying to date, the one you can’t wait to ditch someplace.

        She goes to those places because she has no other choice.

        • True enough, but that leaves Hyde Park (oh, wait, too many brown people), Lincoln Square (hope not, that’s where I live), Rogers Park (more brown people), and Bucktown (pro: overpriced shopping; con: she refuses to pay for anything, and they call that “shoplifting” there).

          Of course, she could always go hang out in Wicker Park and tweet about all the hipsters ala her “coverage” of the Austin music scene/SXSW… vom in the shower. I hung out in Wicker Park when it was still filled with street hookers and heroin addicts and even the art gallery lofts weren’t immune from either.

          You’re right, though… she has no friends, and I don’t believe she’s mastered Rule No. 1 in learning to love yourself: learning how to do things alone.

          • I think someone said the same thing about her in New York and San Diego. Chicago has kick ass ethnic neighborhoods, the failure to experience them is her loss. What a boring life she must lead, the same social context over and over again.

    • From Yonder Days of Olde:

      Choire Sicha is a pussy, Julia Allison is not:
      “I’ve always had a thicker skin than most – Choire once said that I made him seem like a newborn kitten. But it’s certainly gotten thicker in the last year or so – actually, ever since I got fired from my college newspaper. The first bad press you get is always the worst. When Gawker did the “field guide” to me, which accused me, amongst other things, of being a hussy who steals women’s husbands, I cried all day. Now I tend to have the following reaction: ‘eh.’ I mean, I don’t love it when people say nasty things, but I also realize they don’t know me personally, so it’s more or less inconsequential to my life.”


      • that gawker article is from january 2008. from the mediabistro article, april 2008:

        A couple of hours pass and the inanity of daily life intrudes. Someone has stolen her laundry basket. “I find that really hurtful,” says Allison. She pops her retainer in and out of her mouth in frustration. “That’s mean. I may be a lot of things, but no one will tell you I’m mean.”

        so people saying mean things doesn’t bother her, but having her laundry basket stolen is very hurtful. thick skin: I do not think you know what it means.

  15. I don’t understand why the act of picking out a goddamn dress always has to be a saga for Donks:

    So here are the bridesmaid dresses Via & I are considering now … but we can’t tell with either of them whether they’ll actually look good on, especially considering that the fabric could go either way. Ugh! I really wish we could see them in person.

    You know how you can tell whether or not a dress will actually look good on, Jules? Set foot outside of the OMG!condo (and take Lilly with you, for once) and go shopping and try on dresses. You Yack McCain drop hundreds of dollars on unnecessary trips across the country all the time; hop on a plane to San Francisco–I hear that it is one of your many cities of residence!–and take darling Via to David’s Bridal and see as many dresses as your heart desires in person. Problem solved! No need to tear your pelts out in agony!

    • yes, I don’t understand why this is sooooo difficult for her. I thought she tore herself away from pancakes and went up to la expressly to meet with via and try on bridesmaid dresses?

      when my sister-in-law picked out the dress for her bridesmaids, she took her two local bridesmaids (the other three of us lived across the country) to go try on a bunch of different dresses, and decided what would look best on everyone’s different body types. because how do you pick a bridesmaid dress online, without seeing it in person, without trying it on?

      and THEN, because my sister-in-law is thoughtful and considerate, she searched online to find the store that sold the dress for cheapest, and we each had to call there with our measurements and order the dress, so all the dresses would be made from the same ‘color batch’ and would match. I must say, I am eternally grateful that I only had to spend $159 on a dress that I despised.

    • I really think she is just fishing. She thinks that that eventually one of these dress designers will offer her a discount or freebie. In fact, I am pretty sure that is what this maid of honor thing is all about. She promised her friend she would be able to score her a bunch of freebies if she were maid of honor.

    • Ya know all the weddings I’ve ever been in the bride has been like, “this is the dress I picked,” and we went to a store, bought it and wore it to the wedding. Done.

      Maybe the reason that Donkey gets picked to be in so few weddings is because she always bullys the bride into letting her pick the bridesmaids dresses, takes forever agonizing over the dress and always picks something awful.

      • And she has bad taste. If I was forced to have her in my wedding I wouldn’t let her anywhere near that decision-making. Also, I’d pick a dress that wouldn’t feature her tits hanging out all over the place.

    • she needs to stall until she can say “oh! Via, my Best Friend Forever – silly, me but I know of the perfect bridesmaid frock!! Chloe and Reese, a very fancy frock shoppe will be able to sew us into some insatiably pleasing bridesmaid-wear!”

  16. It would be nothing short of glorious if Julia Allison were tapped to be interviewed on this topic, if only because any credible journalist would ask her about ALL OF THE THINGS that have given rise to her critics.

    Q. Tell me Julia, didn’t you once (twice, three times) announce publicly that your ex had a mental illness and refused to take his medication? Surely your father had told you that what you did would get a hospital, doctor, or even a records clerk fined hundreds of thousands of dollars under health care privacy laws. Aren’t most of the criticisms directed your way founded on some pretty valid bases?

    A. Well, that was years ago!

    Q. But haven’t you continued to regularly offend your readers? I’m looking at a tweet from last month, which you eventually deleted, but not until you faced scathing criticism, where you cavalierly brought up a violent sexual assault your mother sustained 20 years ago. Did you check with your mother before referencing that horrible event to 20,000 people who follow your twitter feed?

    A. I don’t think you understand. I was inside. That was my memory, too.

    Q. I’ve got notes here about plagiarism, emailing your exes’ fiancees, anonymously leaking the names of your boyfriends to the hate site you complain about, public spats with your former business partners, posing in your underwear, a condom dress and a cheerleader uniform to get press on NY gossip sites. Haven’t you actively solicited internet attention at every opportunity?

    A. It is worrisome how much effort you have spent researching me. Feel free to relax.

    • What’s more “worrisome” is that’s EXACTLY how a “Julia Allison” “Julia Baugher” interview would go.

      Donkey? If you want to talk? We’ll go. convenientfeminist at gmail, I’ll give you my FurReal name, email, etc.

    • I always love her responses around “that was x years ago!” as if there’s a statute of limitations on apologies. Never, “I made an error in judgement that hurt someone and I’ve personally apologized to that person. I think we can all move on now.”

  17. Wow. A 30 year old woman dining with her father, and then going to be alone in the condo he originally purchased to escape from his mother, which she now lives in.

    Shudder. The Baugher family is so fucked up.

    • I meant her mother…didn’t someone say Petey boy got the OMG!DowntownOMGCondo so he could give Momsers the slip and jerk off to his Mark Twain autobiography in peace?

        • Um, maybe we shouldn’t really take this site in that direction. Just a suggestion.

        • silly cat lady—are you implying that there’s something fishy about the bromance between 2 nebbishes like peter baugher and mark kirk? how dare you! extreme libel! lawyers are inevitable! yada yada


  18. Oh, de dragul dracu ‘, tu măgar prost!

    I am too drunk to properly peruse this post (a JP post, for shame, XO JP!) but I am drunk enough I must shriek about how I AM SO SICK of this “bullying” idiocy. I don’t even care to read about it anymore.

    Du-te dracu atât de greu! De asemenea, sunteţi de grăsime acum, si fata ta sa topit! Sue me Julie! Go for it!
    Jesus christ. With all that’s about in the world, this is her crusade…and only as it pertains to her dated, ugly ass. I JUST KANT.

  19. Stupid Donkey can’t even monetize her negative attention when it’s the only attention she gets!

  20. Um, hello, you guys, Julia only criticized that video because she was worried about teenagers standing up in a car while it was moving! What’s wrong with you? Clearly, Donkey is very concerned about motor safety and you are not.

  21. Sigh. In a flash of brilliance, I was going to post why, exactly, “teenagers” shouldn’t make music videos and drive… but Julie’s “Glamorous” video she shot while driving! in the OMG HAMPTONS is “missing” from her vimeo.


    • I vaguely remember something about the car she was driving in that video. Didn’t it belong to the ex-boyfriend whose apartment she was still living in? I think she convinced a parking garage attendent to let her take the car and she drove it to the Hamptons. She is gross.

    • She was driving the Mercedes convertible she’d ‘borrowed’ (ex-BF who owned it didn’t know she had ‘borrowed’ it by lying to the garage attendant) & singing the lyrics of Prince’s “Pussy Control.”


      • Oh, never mind, that’s a Land Rover and this is the Mercedes incident referred to:

        Allison’s apartment belongs to her ex-boyfriend who let Allison stay for a year with the promise she would move out by October 1. Their parting was amicable, but the ex-boyfriend’s patience was tested when he saw that Allison posted on her blog video of herself rapping along with the radio while she drove his $75,000 Mercedes convertible in the Hamptons. She had sweet-talked the car out of his garage without his permission.


  22. Looks like Julia is back to creating comments on her own blog re: her quote referring to awesome Yawn MacCain to fake reinforce her stupidity.

    OT: where does “I will never the donkey” come from?

    • It arose out of that special brand of brayge that causes a basement cat to furiously type out an exasperated comment and bang their tiny and cute paw on the Post Comment button, before realizing they’ve left out a word. The results are comedy gold:

      How (the) fuck??
      I will never (understand) the Donkey!!

      • The last one is so great because any number of things could be inserted: I will never (approve of/believe/stop being horrified by/be like/quit) the Donkey, so “I will never the Donkey” captures a vast universe of contingencies.

  23. Can I just add: what a weird relationship Julia and and Jack have. She has no job and no place to live. So basically she just sits around in her parents downtown condo and waits for him to invite her out to San Diego, all the while making up reasons why she’s too busy to care that they aren’t already living together? Yikes.

    • Don’t live together yet? Isn’t it a little soon for that? I know that’s probably what you’re saying but I just had to say that.

      Since she only cares that people call her fat, what if RBD went a week without making fun of her appearance at all? Then it would only be 100% legitimate critique, and what would she bitch about then? Just an idea.

      • If RBD went a week without commenting on her appearance or anything JAB’s related at all, the haters of us haters would say we have no idea what to do with ourselves. (I read that somewhere in this thread I think..)

    • He is as probably as socially awkward in relationships as she is. He went to an all boys high school and majority male college. It doesnt seem like he’s had much of a chance for normal, regular social interaction with women which explains why he’s with Julia.

  24. I seem to recall Julia commenting recently that the “haters” had been “bullying” her for 3 years or so. I’d like to point out that PRIOR to the existence of RBNS Julia was voted the 3nd most hated person on the internet by Radar.

    Also prior to RBNS, her Time Out NY editors opened submissions for the dating advice column saying something along the lines of, since so many of you write in to tell us how badly our columnist sucks perhaps you’d like to try and do better?

    And in Gawker’s infamous Field Guide to Julia Allison (written in 2006, prior to RBNS), when questioned about her 2002 plagiarism scandal, Julia denied everything and said “The haters were just trying to advance a “personal agenda” of some kind.” In 2002!

    This seems to add up to the fact that she is often unliked. Not by everyone! I have to acknowledge that she does have a lot of old friends from high school, etc. But it seems that every single time she promotes herself, writes something for publication, speaks in public, etc., many people find her remarkably unappealing. It is so lame to try to explain this as a few people who spend allllll their time bullying. It is lots and lots of people, and with every new endeavor, more join.

    It has been expressed by many, many people that the reason for the repulsion is the fake cheesiness of the image she projects, and the low-quality, high-quantity of the words and images she puts out. Like 5 Thai delivery menus from the same pace stuffed under your door, or 18 emails about weight loss with acai berries. She knows she is like this: she projected a slide of herself lifting her tutu to expose her ass to the camera, as a backdrop to her talk on self promotion. You cannot do that, then turn around and sniffle that you weren’t looking for attention.

    Also, if you stick to “the haters don’t know me, if they did they’d like me, their comments mean nothing, how could you hate someone you don’t know, how sad to spend your time hating someone you don’t know, etc.”, does that not negate the value of any positive attention as well? Turn it around: “The commenters who say I seem like a good person don’t know me, the compliments mean nothing, why would you defend someone you don’t even know, how sad that you feel like we would be friends when we’ve never met.” How are positive opinions formed from what you put out there of any value, if you you assign no value to the negative feedback?

    And lastly, one thing that ALWAYS bugs me: I am so sick of bloggers (not just Julia) saying, “if you don’t like me or my blog, read something else. No one is forcing you to read this, I omg don’t understand why anyone would ever read a blog if they don’t like what is written.”

    People ARE entertained by watching/reading about repulsive behavior. From the earliest days of human entertainment, one component has been characters who act in ways the audience loathes. It is fun and satisfying to watch someone behave terribly and sometimes suffer the consequences of their actions. It is also fascinating at times to watch the spectacularly un-self-aware. Surely you’ve heard of reality tv?

    Julia put up that photo of rocket Snooki. She obviously has at least seen clips and known who that is, right? Lots of people watch and sponsor that show. Are the people who watch it jealous haterz? Is the massive audience of Real Housewives fans a jealously-riven mob? I doubt it. Nor are they there because they think each housewife is a wonderful person whose success and personal happiness they support. It’s a freak show. Literally. And freak shows have been around for a looooong time. Did carnival goers of yore pay to see the freaks in the tent because they thought the freaks were adorable and funny and sweet and they wanted to offer encouragement? Well, no. Then why did the audience come? I guess the only other reason it could be is that the audience was jealous of the freaks’ glamorous traveling-circus lifestyle.


    • Juliar even states in the comments that she does not drink any more. I am so fucking sick of her lies, and playing the victim. Julia GROW THE FUCK UP already!! You are 30 not 6. You just make yourself look worse every day. Try putting on some big girl pants in your actual size, shutting the hell up and not blogging or tweeting every little detail. I bet your life will be much better for it.

    • Brayva, Donkey Q! So very well put, every last bit of it.

      I’m currently keeping up w/ whichever RHo_ _ is on reruns, M-F w/out fail, cuz I love me some narcissistic trainwrecks just as much as I love the lengths people will go to to to try & come out ahead, IE: Survivor, Biggest Loser, Apprentice. No doubt the one thing all of RBD has in common is a like for the genre of reality shows.

      It’ funny, cuz as despicable as Donkey is & as unwilling as she is to change her distasteful ways, she really should suck it up & sign the dotted line of the next draconian contract put in her hooves — the difference between 300 critics here & more than three million+ tv-watching critics very well may be that elusive fuck-you money she’s been pursuing.

      When she thought she had the tiger by the tail, critics weren’t bullies, critics were simply the cost of doing business, namely Julia doing her business online.

      Internet Famous – The Julia Allison Story
      by Ron Callari on Friday, May 29th, 2009

      When asked what Internet fame has brought her, she thinks “it’s a bit early to say what it has or hasn’t brought me … I’m pretty psyched that I can now afford health insurance.

      “The most important thing to me is to be able to share my life … that is what the internet has allowed me to do, and so for that I am very, very grateful.”

      “Listen, bottom line: there are consequences to every choice we make – each lifestyle we decide upon, whether public or private … Everything has pros and cons, and it’s up to you to do a cost/benefits analysis. No one else can do it for you. Anonymity and its accompanying privacy confers incredible freedom in one sense – you can make your life choices without a chorus of judgment. But there are some wonderful parts about being a bit more public … to (hopefully) entertain … ”

      Wait, WHAT? Two years ago, Donkey:
      * had health insurance, & she dropped it WHY?
      * acknowledged public life opened one up to *gasp* a chorus of judgment?

      • It makes me sick the way she’s always talked about how the only thing she ever wanted was to be able to “SHARE MY LIFE”…as if her version of that is some kind of honorable calling. What she means is that all she ever wanted was to be able to talk about her herself 24/7 and have everybody looking at her and her bare tits 24/7 and to have people tell her how super duper hot she is 24/7. Julia Allison…she is such a giver and a share-er.

  25. “How are positive opinions formed from what you put out there of any value, if you you assign no value to the negative feedback?”
    This is the most true of truest statements that have ever been true!!

    • It is invalid to respond to critics who think your work sucks with, “well a lot of people like it!!!!!” Goes both ways. Imagine responding to compliments with, “well it doesn’t matter that you like it, I know it’s bad because a lot of people hate it!”

  26. “I have three destination weddings in July – in Wisconsin, Wyoming and California – plus a 30th birthday weekend in France in August – so I’m already thinking of which dresses I can pick up in the next month or so to wear for Easter, and then again for one of the weddings or the birthday.”

    When did Wisconsin and Wyoming become places for “destination weddings”?

    And who the fuck flies to France for a “birthday weekend”, you dumb wasteful donkey?

    • They’re not destination weddings, they’re weddings of people who live in those places. They’re “destination weddings” to Donkey because she has to travel to them. She is hella dumb.

    • Five pairs of pastel Bonobos for FlapJack for Easter!

      Wisconsin! New dress! Wedding present! Air-fare!
      Wyoming! New dress! Wedding present! Air-fare!
      California! New dress! Wedding present! Air-fare!
      Oui France! New dress! Birthday present! Air-fare!

      New pink luggage! Matching duffel bag! Matching wallet!
      Matching cosmetic case! Matching curling iron holder!

      *sniff sniff* Po’ widdle me, I can’t afford health care…

      • She spends like a drunken sailor which wouldn’t be all that bad if she actually had a job (and health insurance). I can’t believe how much she uses her blog to bray to the world about all her purchases. I don’t think she’s capable of buying a new Bic pen without bragging about it. She is so gauche.

        • she would NEVER soil her hands by touching a bic pen. that is way too common for our special snowflake! she just begs lilly pulitzer to send her free pens.

      • Who, I ask you, is paying for all of this?? Her column isn’t bringing in the dollars. Where is the money coming from???

      • I’m willing to bet Donkey doesn’t bring wedding gifts. Or, at least, doesn’t pay for them.

  27. Now she is begging for a photographer who will only work for $500. What the fuck? I guess she has no idea how much a good photographer costs, since, well. . . she doen’t find good photographers and she goads them into working for free.

    This whole maid of honor thing is weird. In my experience, none were this involved in the wedding planning. They’d offer their opinions, but not plan the whole damn thing.

    • Hello everyone!

      I know quite a few talented wedding photographers read this site, and I’m hoping you all might be able to help me in something I am calling MISSION: SF WEDDING PHOTOG!

      OMG — the laughter, it won’t subside.

      This chick needs to get a serious grip on shit. She’s losing because her column is a giant sack of fail. The end.

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