You know, I’ve been trying out the comments system for the past two or three weeks, and while I’m thrilled to hear from some of you who wouldn’t have otherwise piped up, I’m really disappointed (although not entirely surprised) at the bad apples who are about to ruin this for the whole bunch.
One of the reasons I did NOT have comments is that I don’t want to spend my day doing the following:
1) deleting nasty missives that say things like “your boyfriend will never marry you because you’re too old, ugly, fat” (that’s a nicer paraphrase of a variation I’ve gotten several times, probably from the same – shocking! – anonymous reader) or “your cleavage is offensive for X, Y, Z nasty reason” or “you’re a disgusting, vile X, Y, Z expletive” and so on and so on. Not interested. Not even remotely interested.
2) engaging in pointless, time-consuming debates which I try to enter into with an open mind, in which readers have an agenda and NO MATTER WHAT I SAY OR DO, I can do no right in their eyes. I do not think I owe these readers – haters, “trolls” – anything. Not details about how I make my money. Not details about what I do with my time. Not details on how many lawyers I consulted to make sure my internship was legal. Not details about my boyfriend or his family or what I choose to wear for my birthday or what sorts of photographs I take for glossy magazines.
I share moments in my life and things which inspire me with youbecause it gives me joy.
But let me be CRYSTAL CLEAR for those haters: I. do. not. owe. you. ANYTHING. You are neither my friends nor my family nor my bosses. Just because I choose to share SOME aspects of my life on this website does not – NOT – give you an all-access pass to become the ultimate arbiter – judge and jury – for my life. I don’t know who or what gave you that idea, but you are very, very wrong.
Suffice it to say: I will be canceling the comments if this nonsense continues. And I am no longer going to post ANY negative comments directed at me or aimed at spiraling the discussion into an unhealthy, unproductive place. You are welcome to say you don’t like a dress, butyou are NOT welcome to insult me. I’m sorry. That’s not how it works. It’s like coming over to my house and slapping me repeatedly and then peeing on my furniture. The second time you try, I will not let you in the door.
Let me also bring up one other disgusting trend: these same people – under false names – have – for years – YEARS – contacted not only my employers to say disparaging remarks about me (like they thought it was inappropriate that I pose in Michigan Avenue magazine) – or back in the fall, emailed NBC to tell them I was lying about working for them (that was a surprise to NBC, since they were running my segments at the time), or emailed SONY to tell them they hated me. CREEPY, obsessive and disturbing. Even more nauseating, when I was dating my now-friend Taylor in the fall, they looked up his private email address and EMAILED HIM nasty things about me, which of course he forwarded to me with a note saying that he thought anyone who would do that had psychological problems. Frankly, I agree. WHO DOES THAT???
Listen, I get it: you don’t like me. Your point has been made. You can believe everything nasty you read about me, even if it’s not true. That’s your prerogative. BUT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Don’t contact my employers. Don’t contact my boyfriends. Don’t contact my friends or my family. AND DO NOT CONTACT ME.
Here’s an even better idea: DON’T READ ABOUT ME. Don’t think about me. Don’t talk about me. WHY BOTHER?? I’m serious. It makes no sense. It’s weird. I don’t sit around thinking or talking s—t about YOU, trying to find ways you’ve screwed up or ways you might potentially screw up in the future!
You are going to believe what you want to believe! It doesn’t matter what I say, trust me. It doesn’t matter what I do. I could join a convent and devote my life to saving the world and it still wouldn’t sway you – why? Because you have MADE UP YOUR MINDS.
But you should realize this: every second you spend thinking about me, obsessing over my life, trying to find things I do wrong, is a second you’re not spending with your own families, or with your friends, on your career or on something which truly gives you joy.
Please think about your real purpose here. Is it to “ruin” my life? You’ve tried very hard. You’ve made me cry many, many times. I don’t trust people the way I did even a few years ago. Are you proud of that? What is it, exactly, you want from me?? You’ve taught me that bullies last long after high school ends. You can continue your crusade and I can continue to find ways to block you from interfering with my life. But I’m not going anywhere. I don’t ever give up – ever. You haven’t noticed that yet?
Please, let’s end this. It’s been years now. It’s time to let go. Let it go.