Christmas Came Early Indeed

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Anyway, did you know that Jack up there can cook? He’ll cook for you! Just ask Julia if you can go to her New Year’s Eve party!

I’m throwing an entertaining dinner party in Chicago New Years Eve – want to join? The more the merrier! Will be my little brother Britt & his wife Allie, my college roommate Cailleach de Weingart-Ryan, my
friend Christine Kelly and hopefully my friend Elly Benson. The boyfriend is cooking (he’s an amazing chef) and we have an extra seat at the table if you’re in town! 😉

Looks like Goose up there wants to show everyone the golden egg she LITERALLY laid.

You know who are really good cooks? The geighs. You know who are gay?

Navy fighter pilots.

244 COMMENTS

  1. This just delights me. It’s like, what new and exciting way is she going to find to ruin this? It makes me literally- literally!- shiver with anticipation.

  2. WHY has he got sooo much food?

    Of course he has to cook on NYE right Julie, it’s not like you ever do anything for anyone.

    • PS: Give the spare seat to The Fat Melmans, you owe them. I’m just teaching you some manners Julie seeing as your parents never did.

    • Serious question: Is there a record anywhere in the vast archives of Donkey history of her actually cooking a meal for anyone?

      She goes to restaurants, she goes to other people’s dinner parties, she eats at her parents’ home — but has she EVER prepared a meal for someone else?

      I’ve never seen it, so I’m just asking. Perhaps she doesn’t know how?

      • All true, & all of which I find very interesting ~ a person can not live a gluten-free existence solely at the whim of others food prep.

      • She doesn’t know how. She said in a video somewheres that she used the oven in her old apartment like twice.

      • Carrie Bradshaw used her oven to store clothes, therefore Julia Allison never uses the oven either.

      • The idea of doing something for anyone else is completely anathema to her being. Unless it’s making a big production out of wanting to donate old magazines to a battered women’s shelter. Because women who have been beaten don’t care if their dog-eared, cut-up copy of US Weekly is from the 90s. They’re just grateful for Julie Albertson’s largesse.

        I know that particular atrocity is from years ago, but I’m still not over it.

      • She’s said that she can’t keep food in her house because it has the potential to trigger a bulimic relapse. In the Vimeo where she tours her apartment, she films the inside of her refrigerator briefly and it is almost completely empty, save for a few bottles of nail polish. Her kitchen cupboards were filled with Kotex and scented candles. I am absolutely not exaggerating.

  3. This is beyond bizarre. Where are they and WHAT are they eating? Is this the sacred pancake house in Wilmette? Is that lumpy brown dome a Dutch baby of some sort? The mind boggles.

    • and where is granny moneypants!?!?!? has she been cast aside now that a rich, semi-famous boyfriend is in the picture???

    • It’s Walker Brothers Pancake House on Green Bay Road in Wilmette. It’s been there forever, and is obviously a Baugher family handgout. Some people are willling to stand in line out the door (even in winter) to get in so they can gorge on oversized apple pancakes, et. al.

      Overrated, and certainly not for the gluten-conscious.

      • They have good spinach crepes and it’s a fun place to go once or twice a year — or, if you have kids, more often (my kids love Walker Bros.) — but it’s not really like dining at the Ritz or anything. Julia probably likes it because they sell stuffed animals by the checkout.

  4. Dear god that food looks unappetizing. And I’m gathering that she passed the smaller side of pancakes that came with her omglutenfree fritatta vomit up there off to him, right? So wtf with the CAKE?

    Also I love Top Gun. The first time I saw it I was 7, visiting cousins in Boston and my English was in its beginning stages, but oh man did I think Iceman was a dream.

    • She definitely passed it to him. She has syrup on her side. Plus, who orders pancakes as large as a plate or JA’s head and then gets two tiny and cute ones on the side.

      P.S. I am scared of that lumpy brown “cake” and the vomit on her plate.

      • ‘Til I read what you smart catladiez deduced, I thought the large plate was full of refried beans.

        #ShowerVomcastropheAverted!

      • It’s actually a baked apple pancake — really good, but you’d never know it from the photo.

        Speaking of which… who took this picture? The waitress? (I secretly imagine that they cringe when they see her walking through the door…)

  5. Hahaha!

    Not only is that angle seriously NOT working for her, but if you click on the picture for an enlarged version (brace yourself 1st!), you can see how truly freckled / blotchy Julia Allison’s skin is, compared to fauxtoshopped versions she’d have you believe.

    WTF is going on under her left eye? It’s downright WORRISOME!

  6. “Meet the Baughers” occurred in record time. Also, Jack looks Tom Cruise short. Maybe it is just the pancakes with a side of pancakes throwing things off.

  7. Did you pay for Jack to come to Wilmette Julie?
    Did you pay for the pancakefest?

    Was that a big fat NO? Girl, I don’t care how you try and dress it up, you are a hooker.

    • LOOK, NYNY, she LIKES HIM FOR HIM. Okay??? The fact that he is bonkers-level family-rich does not matter, like, at ALL. He’s her BOYFRIEND NOW. God!

  8. I love when she gets all smug and domestic-y. Because only Julia knows what it’s like to have a man cook for her*.

    She’s so lucky. I’m so jelliss.

    *Can I mention that my cat-husband cooked a three-course meal for myself and four of our friends, and matched wines to each course. I’d like to, if only to tell Jules up there to shove it. She didn’t invent guys who can cook.

  9. Donks is so very pleased with herself there.
    McCain… doesn’t look quite as pleased. He seems a little uncomfortable to me. Why is it that people always look so uncomfortable when they’re having their pictures taken with Donks?

  10. the chin job is frightening me in this pic.

    lol i wonder what {redacted} thinks of this pairing. i’m sure he’s a huge mccain fan.

    • redacted is more libertarian than anything else. libertarians would hate mccain. mccain has been supporting social conservatives for a while now and he was a spearhead for “campaign finance reform”. plus, he’s a spend-spend-spend and cut taxes at the same time (!) type of republican. so redacted probably hates mccain as much as the rest of us cat ladies.

  11. Holy Shit. Christmas came early indeed!

    Whether she bares a ‘lil Jack the 5th or this thing ends before that can happen, I look forward to all of the cray.

  12. Who the fuck goes to the Pancake House on a DATE and asks someone to take their picture of them eating pancakes? I know this is a common question here but, what the fuck is wrong with her?

    Clearly the McCains have shit taste in women. I thought they couldn’t align themselves with a more repulsive woman than Sarah Palin. Evidently I underestimated them.

    • I really do not get how she finds penises with men attached that are not completely and totally put off by, well, everything about her, but especially the goddamn photo-taking every fucking goddang second of the day.

      Then again, who am I kidding, he’ll dump her ass like all the rest of them do sooner rather than later, when he has to be in the same city as she is for more than 48 hours. Anyhoo.

  13. Maybe it’s because I had a bad day and I know you are all excited about the anticipated dumping and cray cray but…..does it enrage anyone besides me that she keeps getting these opportunities in the first place? My mother always told me life wasn’t fair but, as vile as she’s been, she’s still dating a rich senator’s son. My brother graduated from Annapolis. This kid’s career prospects – even without the family name – there are just no limits.

    Even if it implodes by March, she’ll probably network all over the place, travel, sit around yukking it up in some mansions, have some five star dining experiences, etc. It just doesn’t seem like there are truly any consequences for her behavior. Sure, she has no real friends but she will never see the soul less void she is because, every time a door closes, another one opens up.

    Alienates all her friends and boyfriends? No problemo. She’ll just go out and hook her donkey cart to an even bigger name. She talks up her Canon cameras and Apple computers and never uses a tv? That’s, ok Sony will hire her. Can’t keep a man for more than a few months? That’s just dandy. Newspapers hire her to be a relationship expert. It is just inconceivable to me.

    If/when this dude gives her the dump, it will be ok. She’ll probably hunt down Prince Harry. She’ll be damned if one day it isn’t white folk who serve her corn on the cob instead of the ghetto fabulous Chi Town street folk.

    Dr. Gary, where are you? The last time I had this meltdown, you came to my aid and made it all better. I need you to get over and reinsert my Franzia drip post haste!

    • I hear you. I used to get super, super pissed off when she’d breeze into silicon valley, have “meetings” with top VCs (b/c arrington was fucking Meghan) and get people to listen to her stupid ideas.

      I just realized later it never adds up to anything, and must be*exhausting* being her, but she is who she is and her tenacity is probably her strongest personality characteristic (outside of being a psychotic shilldebeast)

      • Yep, bitchface, you are right.

        I know at least two people that have met with her about business/heard her pitches, and the consensus from both was that she’s full of shit. Warms my heart.

    • Yeah, I hear you, LRC. I have flounced at least 5x because of this. I don’t know why this doesn’t bug me. Probably because she is so blatantly vile (ref: smug, Angelina Jolie beatific grin above (puke); “best friend” Taylor Greason) and it will never go away. She is a spoiled brat for life and I accept it now. I’m only surprised when shit doesn’t fall into her lap. (BTW, you could have the same oppty’s if you had 6 agents, 2 interns, and your own unemployed ass dedicated to promoting The Wonder of You 24/7.) But she will always be vile, no matter how much she crows about being blessed. And dating a kid – regardless of how mature he is – who lives in a different state? I give it 3 months, during which she will show her vile, unsupportive, “It’s all about me” self.
      Feel good about yourself, Lrc.

    • Awww, don’t be enraged LickedRandi’sCake. I always think of it like this: next time we see a photo of her smiling at a party in a gorgeous mansion, sham-pagne in hand, where everything looks glamorous, just remember we’re not seeing the whole picture, namely her internal monologue:

      “Is this my best angle? Who’s that girl JJ is talking to? Fuck. He’s smiling at her. BITCH! God, I’m starving. Mustn’t eat. Mustn’t eat. Mustn’t eat. I *knew* I should have worn something more expensive. Why don’t these people like Betsey Johnson? I need better clothes. Dadser *has* to understand I need an increase in my clothing allowance. I’m sick of him questioning my credit card statements. My feet hurt. Why won’t anyone talk to me? Everyone keeps avoiding eye contact. What is wrong with these people? They did this last night too. Is JJ still talking to that bitch? Fuck that. Ally McStick better check herself, that’s my guy. I don’t have a ring yet but fucked if I’m gonna let those blonde bitches get in my way. Better find out what her connections are before I start spreading rumors about her and the help. She might come in handy. Is that a cupcake?” Etc etc ad nauseum.

      No matter how lovely her surroundings, she’ll always make herself miserable. It’s why she consumes so much sugar and does all the crazy shit she does. It’s her avoidance technique.

    • It bothers me too. Not because I would ever wanna be associated with someone like a McCain, but because she is getting exactly what she wants. Someone semi-famous and fabulously wealthy to brag about etc. It’s sickening really. But it’ll implode. And she has to live with herself at the end of the day, and herself is fucking atrocious, so there’s that.

      • She seems to get what she wants because every time she gets knocked down (which happens a lot) she gets right back up again, dusts herself off and keeps on going.

        I can never decide if that’s admirable or delusional.

      • Yeah but then again, when all you’ve ever really wanted is a man to take care of your lazy ass, and attention, how hard is it to get that? I said the other day – she’s almost 30 and still hasn’t sealed the deal with a meal ticket? I’ll eat my own panties the day that happens. Let’s see her land this one. And then talk to me after they are married a few years and he’s fucking his secretary etc.

        She’s vile nonetheless.

    • Daddy hires talent, literary, new media and tv agents for his diletante daughter. Anyone else that had the advantages this hag has been afforded would have an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar and a TONY to show for it instead of just burned bridges.

    • Sorry you had a bad day – I’m totally with you there. This shit is pretty much inconceivable to me as well, but at the end of the day, she is still an ugly person who has no one but herself to live with. Some of us still have our dignity, at least.

      • Aw. thanks guys. The pep talk helped. I am getting laid off and am looking at another job but, it’s a massive, massive pay cut. Not that I’m not grateful to have any job prospects on the horizon in this economy but, it’s a blow to the ego, for sure. Then I read about this chick and saw that pancake hole of hers smirking back at me and, I just lost it for a bit.

        I guess, one thing I do have is the ability to say that, everything I do have, I have because I earned it. I am lucky to have a very supportive family, who does not support me, if you know what I mean. No Daddy Baugher style assistance necessary.

        . So, at the end of the day, when I drive home in the car I paid off a year early, to my wonderful husband, lovely house, two of the best dogs in the world and a nice, comfy bed, I know that there is nobody but me behind the design of my life.

        Hope your day is better tomorrow, PWASOB.

      • Licked…hold the course and be you. Don’t judge yourself based on a bat shit crazy lady. Life gives us ups and downs, you will recover…..let us know what we can do in the interim. Love u!

    • Yeah, it bothers me too. I know what everyone here is saying is true, and I know that she’ll ultimately end up alone and psychotic having accomplished nothing of virtue, but the thing is: she won’t care.

      She’ll never get it, and there’s no way to fight that level of stupidity. She’s somehow immune to the ways of the world. It’s like fate just said, “fuck that, I’m done with this one.”

  14. I must ask this question yet again: Why oh why do people say that Julia Allison is pretty and/or hot??? She is neither. On a good day, she’s average. In that picture up above? Inching closer and closer to ugly.

    • its hard to tell. sometimes, in heavily edited photos when shes not looking like a mental patient, she looks pretty good. but its all smoke and mirrors, you can tell. push up bras, caked on make up, fake hair, and botox

    • No one says she’s hot anymore. Really, no one. Even she knows she’s not hot. She was hot for about 5 minutes 3 years ago. She looks worn down now and she was an ugly child, but she had about 5 minutes of hot. And really, if you think about “hot” or “sexy” it’s also about an attitude and how you feel about yourself and being natural and comfortable in your own skin etc. She’s all posing and smoke and mirrors and phoniness. That’s why she dates asshats like that specimen above. Nice t-shirt dickhead.

      • The “nice T-shirt, dickhead” parting shot here made me laugh harder than anything I’ve read today, and that is saying something, because I have been howling with laughter all day.

        So funny.

    • Can you imagine when she sits next to tiny and cute and classy Alie at the NYE dinner …. Lil Jackie may have a case of buyers remorse..

      • allie is awesome. julia looks like cheap trash by comparison.

        i can’t tell whether even julia gets that picture (and hence she’s been avoiding allie/britt for a while) or if julia is the only one who *doesn’t* get that picture. it’s one or the other, though, for sure.

    • I think she is pretty… or rather, more so in 2006-2008 at the latest. She’s not too bad with makeup on but definitely fell apart. This photo, she is so gross looking.

  15. Hey! Stop poaching from her Facebook — because, if you haven’t noticed, it’s none of your business.

    LOL.

    • I saw that too! She never learned to step away from the adjectives. It’s one of the many lessons she failed to grasp.

  16. Why does she give the full names of the other guests! It’s like she’s inviting people to a charity fundraiser and they’re the celeb draws. But theyre not celebs. It’s just weird.

  17. Late to the party here – first, I think she’s lying that Jack and Greasy know about this sight. She is afraid someone will link it and send it to Jack so she wants to act like he already knows. That leads me to my second point that 24 year olds are dumb and by him not knowing what we know about her – he’ll be as shocked as she pretends to be when she is “ur, um, oops” knocked up in a month or 2. She is FREAKING out at standing on the edge of 30 with no job, no prospect of a man or an income and just moved in with her parents. Getting knocked up by someone financially set for life frees her of ALL THOSE WORRIES.

    PREDICTION: Randi won’t be the only pregnant lady at the birth-cray party this year

    • Yes, I suspected that too. Her letter to RBNS was written after a commenter in the previous thread posted Greasy’s email address and suggested someone contact him and send him the link here. She freaked.

      • I actually could care less if Greasy knows this site exists, I just wish Jack Jr. knew b/c she could REALLY F his future by getting preggers on purpose. I think he thinks he landed a cougar and that’s hot but he has no idea who he is playing with.

      • And at least a couple of RBNSers have her new boyfriend’s email, he might get a kick out of a link or two…

      • For the record, I didn’t send anything to Grease-ball. If you guys want to remove that post or redact out his email address, you should. I was just tossing it out in case any jealous hater catladies out there wanted to email the dood for his side of the story. But I’m on board re: it being unnecessary.

    • OK, I really hope we don’t do that. I don’t want to mess with the wealthy McCains, for one thing, and also, we just play into her “stalkers!!!” defence when we do that shit. It totally makes her look like an innocent victim and makes us look like a mob of psychopaths, so please, no one e-mail him, especially not on our behalf.

      She is going to fuck this up all on her own, no worries; she always does. A mentally and physically disabled 65-year-old obese virgin with gout, goiters and warts would wheel his wheelchair away from her at top speed within weeks of starting to date her. She is insane. Anyone who dates her sees it within weeks.

      All we have to do is LET IT UNFOLD, sit back, watch and enjoy.

      • “She is going to fuck this up all on her own, no worries; she always does. A mentally and physically disabled 65-year-old obese virgin with gout, goiters and warts would wheel his wheelchair away from her at top speed within weeks of starting to date her. She is insane. Anyone who dates her sees it within weeks.”

        I’m dying here, Jacy. DYING.

      • I keep wondering if people like the McCain’s have sluethy secret-service types in their lives? As in on one needs to send this boy a link. Wouldn’t the security staff be all over this stuff? Do you think they walk among us right now and have red-flags flying up all over the place and the red-phone is ringing in the Senator’s office?
        Maybe I watch too much tv, but I can’t help but think her background has already ruined this for her. She just doesn’t know it yet.

    • julia would be ecstatic if this guy knocks her up. she’d be set for life. jjm better be double wrapping it. DONT TRUST JULIA WHEN SHE SAYS SHE TOOK BIRTH CONTROL, JJM. DONT. TRUST. HER.

      • Double-wrapping is a BAAAAD idea. It puts more stress on the condoms and often leads to breakage. *information courtesy of my 9th grade sex-ed class*

        Ummm er oops.

        He is clearly a frat-douche and therefore he’s probably a fan of double-wrapping. She’ll be a Mommy-blogger in no time!

  18. I don’t understand why this filthy liar continues to say things that are so OBVIOUSLY not true…like “Taylor is my best friend.” In Julia’s delusional little world, any guy she has ever gone out with is her “best friend”…even the ones who end up hating her guts, which I imagine is most of them.

  19. Navy Flightboy.

    The son of wealthy, prominent Republicans.

    Is dating Julia.

    Somewhere in Texas, Mary Rambin is in the middle of a ten hour spin class, imagining that each pedal is coming down on Donkey’s face.

  20. Interesting tid-bit:

    Julia Allison stopped following Toph Eggers on Twitter – maybe because if you google TE the fourth or fifth story that pops up is all the Gawker stories re: their ending.

    Don’t want Jackie Boy or any of his family to read about our Donkey through the eyes of Gawker.

  21. wow. that sounds like the worst new years eve ever. can someone please explain how she managed to convince a 24 year old essentially frat boy to fly from florida to chicago in mid winter for the one night a year people who don’t go out go out and stay in with a bunch of people he’s either never met or has met once for a dinner party. the friends and I are older than 24 and we still rented out a bar because we actually want to have a good time on new years with each other. Doesn’t “the boyfriend” have friends of his own he wants to spend nye with?
    at this rate the dumping will come in early january.

      • oh gross. let’s hope not. you know she’s over the moon at having a real live boy to kiss at midnight instead of making kissy faces at a camera or hugging her brother (vom)

  22. there is no doubt she is going to get pregnant by him. (awful) women do it all the time, and julia has never ever ever failed to take the low road.

    • She won’t need to. He found someone just like dear old mom. I doubt she will need to get knocked up to land this one. She will fit right into the family.

    • I guess it depends on what world you operate in. Lodwick was big re: the tech world, even Leventhal was pretty big if culinary NYC is your scene, but I guess, in terms of real celebrity, yes, Maverick is her biggest snag. And it’s weird, because it comes right as she’s totally hit rock-bottom on every front. But that “strategic connection” to Megatits finally paid off!

      Still you guys, he’s 24. He’s a kid. She’s 29 and looks like she’s pushing 50. He’s not in it for long given his wealth and connections.

      • If she has her mind set on getting “accidently” preggers, he’ll be in it for the long haul whether he wants to or not… sad to say.

      • Hopefully he’s been lectured about protecting his family jewels in order to protect THE family jewels.

        I would assume (and hope) that a guy in his position would be VERY careful when screwing around.

      • “Still you guys, he’s 24. He’s a kid. She’s 29 and looks like she’s pushing 50. He’s not in it for long given his wealth and connections.”

        None of this matters if she ends up pregnant. And it’s really not that difficult to get pregnant if you really are determined and don’t have fertility issues. I can see her collecting his junk (e.g., from a used condom) to shoot it up her donky-snatch later.

        Wait til this guy gets a late night call from Chicago while he’s down in Florida… Lifepwned by a pregnant donkey. What a fucking dumbass.

      • I haven’t studied the precise science of artificial fertilization, but I’m pretty sure that anything saved from a used condom would have to be frozen or refrigerated pretty promptly, and handled in a way that doesn’t contaminate it. Otherwise, it’s useless.

      • @Blinky – I’m thinking she’d use it right away, as in excusing herself to go to the bathroom and then inserting it with an eye dropper.

        Yes, I’m vomming in the shower as I write that. But this dumb bitch is vile enough to try something like that. She and her “friend” del Conte were basically celebrating the other day when talking about babies and using pregnancy to get the man you want

      • AFF, all baster jokes aside, it’s pretty much impossible to artificially inseminate oneself. It’s a precise thing and every condition has to be right, and a total amateur fumbling with amateur equipment will not get it done.

      • Didn’t she complain recently about not being able to find the right prescription for birth control? Oops sorry … I had to stop using birth control for medical reasons! I was sure I told you that! It’s on my twitter!!

  23. This is all political. Donks is a nice wholesome Midwestern girl and they want him to follow senior sleezoids footsteps. I vomit in the shower at the thought but the whole nation saw how palin was not vetted by his team so neither was Donks for fly boy. Perfect wife, political aspirations and Donks is so much like his mom. It all fits so good for them and us. This will be a walking disaster. Hope Donks likes 110 degree weather.

    • I keep thinking the McCains will do some googling and run away from her screaming but then I remember the Palin association. I shudder to think at a marriage between Jack McCain and Julia Allison. I hope Meghan puts up a fight and balks at Julia being her sister-in-law.

      • Sen McCain refuses to use a computer. He leaves that to his staff. She will be able to snow ball this family easily just like the wassilla hillbillies of Alaska did.

  24. I have nothing to say (you all have said it! Eew! Gross! Barf! Nuts!), but I did want to take my username for a stroll…

    Merry Christmas!

  25. Does anyone else remember when John McCain called his wife a cunt in public? I wonder how much Jack Jr. takes after his old man (literally).

    “In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett. At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain’s hair and said, “You’re getting a little thin up there.” McCain’s face reddened, and he responded, “At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.” McCain’s excuse was that it had been a long day. If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days.”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/04/07/report-mccains-profane-ti_n_95429.html

    • Cindy was the trophy wife and sugar mama after he dumped his sickly first wife. She is a beer heiress for crap beer. They really do disgust me.

      • oh he didn’t just DUMP her. He dumped her after she waited for him (war) and got into a terrible car crash and was disfigured (read: no longer tiny & cute)

        He met Cindy, saw blonde + dollar signs and couldn’t dump his wife fast enough (they had kids) to make his NEW family.

        Ex says she’s not bitter. Right on sister; we believe ya.

      • i dont think i’ve ever seen mccain with his older children (the ones from his first marriage). im not sure if they shun him or what. either way, its horrible what he did.

  26. Some jewels from the Cindy McCain wiki:

    ‘Upon her father’s death in 2000, she inherited majority control and became chair of Hensley & Co., one of the largest Anheuser-Busch beer distributors in the United States.’ (Too bad Donkey never drinks!)

    ‘he went to Central High School[8] in Phoenix, where she was named Best Dressed as a senior’ (Too bad about Donkey’s dragstume tutus & hooker-heels!)

    ‘In 1992, her parents staged an intervention to force her to get help’ (Too bad Donkey’s parents are enablers!)

    ‘After the election, Cindy McCain was approached about appearing on Dancing With the Stars.’ (Donkey never got a reality show either!)

  27. Seriously. Let’s call out the elephant in the room. We are not all crazy shut in cat ladies who can’t get a date. I know I have had relationships with extremely wealthy connected men, and I am sure many woman and men here have also. Some of you will even be married to them I am sure. We are not hating on her because we are jealous. So Jules, get over that. Not that you could. It would be like depriving you of the oxygen you breathe.
    The thing is, when I turned 30, I gave them up. Not because they were rich, but because they were young. Too young. I needed a man. But for our disney princess emotionally stunted dress-me-up-for-xmas-skipper doll Jules I guess thit fits.
    Also I think Vie founhttp://theviesociety.tumblr.com/post/2417170604/being-a-mrsd her the perfect gift

    • agreed . . . rbns isn’t for jealous basement dwellers. It’s for scandal lovers who are too tired to reread Vanity Fair. Not really any better from a moral point of view, but whatever.

  28. You guys are forgetting that compared to Jack’s mother, Julia is halfway sane. It may be more difficult to scare him off.

    • In other words: ‘He’s battle-ready.’

      More power to him; it’s gonna be a doozy, w/e.

    • a theory based on nothing:

      He needs a woman with some-type-or-other backroom dealing, maybe he even truly finds her cute (for the time being) and she’s played up her NYC fashion party attending msnbc sunday morning segments to making him think she’s like that chace crawford’s sister with the weird eyebrows or something…

      But what he *really* feels he needs – maybe without even realizing it – is someone he can have fun with when he’s around, but who is so in awe of his stature that he can go fuck around on and she’ll be willing to put up with anything b/c of his name/money/connections etc.

  29. Back to NYE: Not on the list of guests? Momsers and Dadsers. Are they not invited to the “entertaining” party being held in their own house or did they have other plans?

  30. My prediction: after this relationship with McCain fails, there will be late night moaning and hand wringing about greas, the one who she spurned. She was really always in love with him, now it’s too late, she couldn’t see it til now. Etc.

    • I think this calls for a little heart-to-heart among fratboys – paging, PK, go and warn one of your kind. Or sit back and relax like the rest of us. As long as that donkey is equipped with a hostile womb, I’m all for her messing around with a reasonably powerful family. Who knows, this might be the one hustle that has real consequences, so, GO DONKEY!

  31. Folks when I picture a healthy, stable relationship I picture a 29 year old unemployed, homeless famewhore and a 24 year old Navy pilot about to enter active duty for 4+ years.

    How can this relationship not work?

    • “24 year old Navy pilot about to enter active duty for 4+ years.”

      More like 10 yrs. He’d have 4 yrs left if he went Surface Warfare out of the academy. But he’ll owe at least twice that bc of flight school.

      Also, to correct something I said yesterday, it’s actually fairly difficult to get a flight school billet out of USNA. I really doubt he was bottom of the class academically, because I doubt his physical test scores were very high (USNA has a lot of varsity athletes and workout warriors, plus JJM is tiny). He also seems to be a jerk off, so I can’t see his “Performance” component being very high either (Performance is where they rate your character, professional knowledge, leadership, etc). So this tells me he either did OK academically (above a 3.0 GPA) or his dad went to bat for him big time. Because normally douches like JJM end up in surface warfare or in a nuke sub (which would be perfect for him since he’s 5’8″ish)

      • No doubt DoucheMacIV got his assignment through his father’s connections. Life in the military is a little easier when daddy holds the purse strings.

  32. Jesus wept! The lunacy – it’s mind boggling.

    My theory based on nothing (as Jacy would say) – I think in her mind this is it. As in IT, do or die, make or break. Now for someone normal, sane, anyone at all really I think it would be doable. Mind you I’m not saying it’s commendable (far from it), just doable.

    But to be able to LOCK that shit down… well… she has to go against every instinct, impulse, thought, anything she has done so far. And even though she is hm tenacious when it comes to this stuff (men, games, being manipulative), the email to RBNS, FB stuff, the picture taking, the birthday bash, all of it doesn’t bode well.

    I might be wrong and talking out of my arse. But I’ve watched this ahem unfold over the last 24 hours and honestly the lunacy is just… I’ve never seen anything like it. And I felt bad for the guy although I don’t know him from Adam. But after I’ve read that gawker stuff about Muslims, it passed rather quickly.

    Whichever way this turns out I do hope the dog will finally go to a good home.

    • Don’t forget posting wedding dresses. She claims it’s because she just loves them, but come on.

      If she seriously wanted to land and keep a man, she would need to cut that shit out.

      But you are right, the phototaking and facebooking are probably worse symptoms because the effects over time are worse with more unpleasant consequences. See above.

      • OMG – thank you, I knew I forgot something! I don’t know how I could forget the wedding dresses, it’s like the icing on the lunacy cake (as it were).

        And you are tots right, the phototaking – I. Just. Kant.

  33. I know I should’nt be that surprised that she is dating someone, becasue getting a 24 y/o guy to plow a chick in pancake makeup and a water bra for a few weeks before he starts to distance himself is hardly difficult, but I find this whole things SO FUCKING INSANE. I really can’t wrap my head around it.

    Also, that food is disgusting. Portion control, Midwest. Food the size of a dinner plate makes me want to vom in the shower.

  34. why would she EVER ask someone to take that picture? especially if she wasn’t intending on blogging it? that’s just fucking awkward.

    and yeah, he’s not cute and he’s basically a munchkin.

    • Funny! I was out for dinner with a friend the other night the table next to us (two young people, tourists, eating the wrong thing in the wrong restaurant to be documenting) asked me to take their photo.

      My cut eye told them exactly what i thought of that activity, and they were NO WHERE even approximating her level of smarm.

      I guess the moral of the story is that I’m a bitch. If you don’t take a photo of yourself doing it, you didn’t really do it!

    • Also: When you hand a stranger your camera and ask, “Will you take a picture of us?” YOU DO NOT FUCKING SMIRK IN THE SHOT, ALL RIGHT?

      All the self-satisfied smirks in all these pictures looks reminiscent of a celeb who gets cornered by a fan in public, and doesn’t want to be an asshole and say no to having their picture taken with them.

      Jesusfuck… such an obnoxious twat.

      Thanks a lot, Momsers and Dadsers! You two are mostly responsible for this. ASSHOLES.

  35. He kinda looks like his father there & she looks like her momsters there. Actually, she looks worse than her mom. I’m surprised she’d even allow this photo on her fb because she looks so old and atrocious.

    Her invite for NYE was a fb status? She invited every friend on her list? I’m sure there were crickets to that status. The little I’ve seen that is posted here from her fb, she seems like someone to defriend based on annoying statuses and incessant stupid photo postings.

    • When I saw that status update last night, there wasn’t one comment yet. I’ll check back tonight and see what douches (if any) actually respond or comment. Will report back to RBNS.

      • I’m sure she may have a few actual fans out there that may like it but I find it hard to believe there’s comments.

        Still, such a weird status. I almost want to friend her one of these days but she probably wouldn’t accept since she doesn’t know me and can’t afford any room for errors with her new man.

    • It’s really pretty sad that you have to throw out an invitation in your FB status update to get someone, ANYONE, to show up to your lame-ass New Year’s eve dinner. Who in fuck would want to spend New Year’s in her sterile, ugly parent’s condo with a lunatic and a douchebag? Guaranteed she gets no extra takers.

  36. Maybe I’m just too forgiving of the looks of cat-men, but it wouldn’t bother me that he’s short. (But I’ve never really cared if guys are short.) He seems cute to me.

    But associating with the likes of the Donkey makes him suspect to begin with. She’s like a rode-hard and put-away-wet younger Sarah Palin in that regard. Perhaps the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree?

    • I tend to go for bigger dudes because i am on the bigger side. I need someone who does not fear the fupa. He is, as someone said, tiny and cute. In this picture, his upper arm looks about the length of my finger. I wouldn’t be able to muster (ha!) up any interest in him.

      And he probably has short dude disease, i.e. blustery assholishness.

      • He has short limbs, as in little T-Rex arms. And his nose is weirdly shaped (it bows out like a shark fin). At least they share their trait of freckly, blotchy skin. Maybe they can share skin care products and sun screen. Lord knows Julia needs to slow aging down–homegirl looks more than 40+ years old.

        I’m a straight guy and I think he’s weird looking, which is remarkable because I rarely can muster an opinion in another guy’s looks one way or the other.

      • He looks like what he is, a horrific product of a horrific mating. Cindy and John are no beauty queens.

        I cannot believe I used to be sad that John lost the nomination (in 1999). Bullet: dodged.

      • Heh. I’ve dated plenty of short dudes. Some have a chip on their shoulder about it, some don’t. I just don’t think he’s the uggo some of the commenters are making him out to be. He won’t win any beauty pageants any time soon, but I think both he and Greason are comely dudes. (Yup, I just said comely.)

      • t-rex arms made me choke. I’m 5′ 10″ the huscat is 6′ 3″. In my single days, it just seemed like most guys were shorter than I. They also always seemed REALLY angry at me. LOTS of ‘how’s-the-weather-up-there’ type insults.

      • @DLM – i’m jealous of your tall man! i’m ‘5 “9 and every single great guy i meet is like, ‘5″7. sigh. WHERE ARE THE TALL MEN? not in new york, apparently. and i have nothing against shorter dudes, i just don’t really want to bend down to kiss someone, especially since i spend most of my waking hours in 4 in. heels…

    • Short is fine with me! I’m 5ft tall and the hubscat is 5’7. We’ll have little tiny & cute babies! If the donkey procreates before me, I may die.

      • Yeah same here. I’m only 5’3 and rarely wear heels, so I actually feel weird with guys over 6 feet tall. My catfriend is about 5’9 and I think he is purr-fect.

    • All I see when I look at the tiny and cute McCain is a younger version of his father. He may have a a wealthy and powerful family, but at the end of day, does anyone want to fuck someone that reminds them of John McCain? Hell to the no.

      Have fun Donkey.

  37. Also: Julia. Creme de la Mer. Learn it, live it, love it. I could stuff Lilly in one of those undereye bags.

    • LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE Creme de la Mer!!!
      Way expensive. Super awesome!!! (as an aside though, I first heard about creme de la mer after my son had reconstructive surgery. It’s supposed to be a miracle cream especially for scarring. My son’s plastic surgeon said cream is cream but, ‘go for it if it makes you feel better’.)
      Hype or not, I love the stuff!!!!

      • Jesus, even some Oil of Olay would help out the situation up there. This is actually the first time I’ve snarked on her looks ,but Jesus Christ, SLEEP, woman.

      • I’m an SKII gal, myself. Creme de La Mer reminds me of Eucerin. Oh, who am I kidding. Most of the time it’s Cetaphil & some health food store organic shizz.

        unrelated note – my sis busts my chops all the time for buying expensive beauty products. She says, “Geezus, you really buy into all this crap? It could be made with pig’s urine but if they sell it to you as ‘crafted from the rarest urono del piggo’ you buy it”. Now we refer to all fancy cosmetics as ‘urono’, i.e. if I went to Sephora she asks, “Didja get any urono?”. Well, I laugh.

      • Only the Canadian version of Prep H works for that, supposedly. But it’s not recommended because of safety concerns.

      • I’ve asked a friend (have the same problem), she’s a beauty editor, she tests tons of this stuff.

        Having said that, apparently none of it actually works 🙂

        Her tips – good concealer, plenty of sleep and water. Try sleeping propt up on pillows that should help with the draining. Also the roller ball thingies for under the eyes are good because they help with congestion.

        But that’s it really.

      • In regards to blergh’s recommendation to sleep propped up, I would add this: Using any kind of eyes drops before lying down may not be a good idea either (I did this once w/ buffered water after scuba diving & the massive water bags I woke to, while morbidly fascinating, were the scariest thing I’ve ever seen on my face).

  38. Remembering what she wrote to Jay Rosen makes me 100% OK with lollygagging at things cribbed from her profile:

    “Why do you spend so much time worrying about … FB privacy?!?? It seems disproportionate to more important concerns. Bottom line, if you want something private, DON’T POST IT ONLINE. It’s not terribly complicated.”

    Disproportionate Donkey!

    • ok I deleted my Gawker account a long time ago, but why is Ryan too scared to write about Greason being “the boy” just a few weeks ago and those pictures being up?

      He completely missed ANY story there at all. Way to go, maroon.

      • they could leave TayTay’s name out. My point is that Tate’s story is such a non-story. Why even post it? Then again look who we’re talking about (gawker)

      • I find it hard to believe they would pass up an opportunity to play with the madness that is a Julia Allison Baugher justification. “I’ve only known him for a short while and banged him a few times, but he’s my BEST FRIEND now!”
        Maybe they are tired of the hours/days of donkey rage usually following a more negative/to the point story. Why they even bother to post about this, is beyond me, but it probably is a good filler given that the run up to Christmas is usually quite a slow time news wise.

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