Julia: Dumb Tool


Here’s Julie Albertson, the “very liberal” political science grad who could have been Obama’s speechwriter, whooping it up last night with Momsers.

Ass. Hole.


  1. So shocking that she placed herself directly in front of press cameras. Hasn’t she said it enough? She doesn’t want to be famous, people!

    • Can you imagine the braying and pushing and clomping and shoving of old people that took place to get her closer to the press area?

      • btw i was at obama’s inaug, and happened to have a good spot right by the press section. i can tell you that you definitely KNOW when someone is taking your picture, and can avoid it. i personally, didnt want to be photographed (shocking for someone NOT to want to have their picture plastered over media outlets), and my friend and i pulled our hats lower on our heads and generally tried to let the photographers know we werent comfortable with them taking our picture, which they were all super obliging about. while we showed up on a few live feeds on the internet, to my knowledge, no photos were put in any press outlets, although the person next to us ended up being in people magazine. this depite the fact that we’re both college aged girls, the exact sort of age group press people like to have as the faces of political movements. so what im saying is, it is exceedingly obvious when someone is photographing you at these political things, and quite easy to avoid being photographed. on the other hand, if you push old people out of the way, stand in the same spot in four inch heels for fours hours right in front of the press section, and tweet that people can see you in the background of fox news broadcasts, chances are you will be photographed. what a donkey. im sure as soon as she saw the cameras, she pushed gramps right out of the way and clomped her way to the front.

    • That is actually one of my favourite pieces of donkey logic: “If i really wanted to be just famous, i would have made a sex tape years ago.”

      Quoting one of my favourite rbns people – ha!

      Also, insisting on referring to a candidate for senate by his first name only – donkey!

    • Although she can be irritating, I do kind of feel bad for someone to have such a burning need for attention at any cost. As an introvert the whole idea just makes me cringe.

    • I’m so tired that when I read the part that says “Brian Cassella/Tribune” I honest to god thought it said Brain/Classless.

    • Stop it. This threatening language will not stand. The mere though of Donk re-invading the Hill has me on red alert. It has completely ruined the GOP takeover for me.

  2. Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues

    I love how nasty and greasy the pelts look in that photo!

    • the wrist tattoo also looks so tacky and gross.
      everyone else in the photo is thinking “time for bed”, while donkula whoops it up, open-mouthed as always.

  3. Two Thoughts:
    1) no one else in that photo looks remotely interested in what is happening, nevermind over the moon excited about a victory announcement. I wonder how long she posed like that in order to assure that she would have her photo taken?
    2) her hands/nails really look like claws here, and specifically, are reminding me of the movie version of “the witches” when all the witches take their gloves off.

    • Totally OT, but I fucking love that movie. The scene where they talk about the child in the painting who slowly grew old and then disappeared haunted me as a child, and still flits through my mind as one of the ‘scariest’ stories I’ve ever heard.

      To be OT: Let us bray that the little witch accidentally whisks herself into a painting, where she can pose and flit and be watched for ever (silently), and finally disappear.

  4. She really just is a total fucking whore. That’s the only word for it. She goes where the money/power/prestige is. She has zero real morals, values or ethics. Daddy is friends with Kirk and Daddy got her a job with him after Little Bunny failed out of Indiana University, now Daddy pays her bills so she best support Daddy’s friend for Congress.

    Fuck. You.

    • As someone who actually has to LIVE in Illinois and not jet all over the country on Daddy’s dime, I chime in with another FUCK. YOU.

      Thanks for contributing to the already overwhelming and scary red portion of our state, even though you “live” in the Chicago area. WHATTAFUCKINGBITCH

  5. 1) She appears to be the only person holding up a Kirk sign (and Kirk signs were of course yesterday’s theme).

    2) She is standing on something to elevate herself. Probably the photographers’ riser, maybe a lifeless old.

    3) She is the only person in the photo standing open-mouthed. Could be a faked sign of enthusiasm, could be a drool problem.

    4) What is the disembodied hand athwart her holding? Light meter? Microphone? Mace?

  6. “Kirk also reportedly criticized Obama for his handling of the issue, and said that he did not know a single openly gay service member in his 21 years in the Navy…”

    Really? Sheeeeit, I’ve known gay people in the navy and I’m not even gay… or in the Navy!

    The Navy is actually universally acknowledged as, well, the gayest of the armed services.
    (that quote is from kirk on the whole don’t ask don’t tell question from this years congressional debate in chicago. He’s for civil unnions, but against gay marriage)

    • Seriously. He either has the worst gaydar ever or is lying. I also don’t really understand the reasoning behind his statement.. Mark Kirk doesn’t know any Navy gays so we don’t have to address the issue of DADT, a gay never has or never will join the Navy so why bring it up? Old people are the worst.

    • “I’ve known gay people in the navy and I’m not even gay… or in the Navy!”

      Thank you, I am going to be repeating this ALL AFTERNOON to EVERYONE.

  7. omgoodness is that a… person of mixed race [perhaps way back generations ago]… in that otherwise sea of white haired white folks? pic is too blurry to tell.

  8. Oh, this is rich! I’m actually giggling here. This cow made election day all about her!!! It boggles the mind.

    I’m sure the boy (who has a name, a real job, a real education, and pays real rent) can’t see through you, Jules. I’m sure your plan worked and he thinks you’re a fiery little Daughter of the American Revolution, and he’d best get his act together before that Tea Party congressman snatches you from him!

    She is dumb. And a Donkey.

    • The boy is Taylor Greason.

      Someone answer this for me, please:

      HOW does she get these guys to date her? For more than three days?! I mean, seriously. Can they be that blind to the toolness and the whoring?!

      • I think he’s way too cute for her. Plus he hasn’t bought her 17 Betty White dresses for her to choose from, rented a limo and re-created Prom Night for her 17th time yet.

      • I haven’t a clue as to how a sociopath successfully cons people on the regular….
        but, Greasy dude’s got Dadser’s Nose—so you know Julie is really going to go full-throttle on him.

        “We Won!” OMG–she’s an idiot!! “very liberal?” BS.

      • Meh, Donksers, that tore up look is kind of to be expected in a party pic ~ he’s not bad looking at all, IMHO.

        Kinda hard to hate on him when he looks like a nice enough guy, but ya always have to wonder about those dudes who do the donkey ~ are they in it merely for the cheap thrills or is there something intrinsically wrong w/ them?

        If he’s a frat boy party animal & can’t get it up, she’s at least providing the illusion of him being able to hold a GF, which may explain the ‘beard’ avatar on his FB page …

      • I think [most] guys have a, “why not, what the hell?” approach to dating. It’s rare to find a guy who’s out there actively canvassing for a lifetime soulmate. Donkey is – to the unschooled observer – attractive, smart (look at them etty-mological words!), successful, carefree, frolicksome (tee hee!) and sexy. To look at her lifecast & see the # of guys she’s dated & taken trips with in the past year would make her seem like a pretty “anything-goes” type chick. (To me, at least. If I knew a guy who casually dated 3 different girls during the course of a year and took two of them on vacations, I’d think he was probably a bit of a player, definitely keeping his radar tuned for the next best thing.) Only when they get to know her do they see her complete utter lack of identity, goals, purpose, original ideas.


        I think Greaseball is cute, but financial guys are not my cup of tea. I’ve yet to meet any who were genuinely kind, caring individuals. (Although I’m sure they are out there.)

      • Greaser seems fine, whatever. Having known NPD people intimately and observed their dating habits, I think some dudes find her energy and full court press charming- at first… In related news Prom King sometimes rides my morning train, and I saw him today. He seems to be a VERY standard slice of white bread.

      • Asinus greason: an oily-coated donkey found to inhabit airport lounges, hotels, and couches. It is an itinerant animal, known for its short attention span and hyperbolic bray, which it unleashes on unsuspecting victims after wooing them with twitter compliments. It is perpetually seeking mates, but invariably alienates potential partners with excessive vulgar courtship rituals.

      • Like Ferris, I went to college with this cat. He’s a fucking tool, just like Ferris. Really, he’s a slightly younger but just-as-toolish version.

        I’m not surprised that it turned out to be Greason. at. all. Typical Cap & Gown club tool. (I think he was Cap, but he might have been Cottage… either way, he’s a huge suck-up)

      • @ lily’s ass – you see, i find it redeeming that Prom King doesn’t act like an entitled tool. his family is worth 9 figures, he has yachts, a ski lodge in vail, etc. yet he joined the family business (whether or not you disapprove of it) and wants to be a trial lawyer like his dad. only some entitled tool like julia allison would have a problem with that. there is a lot more to life than being some OMGartsy OMGhipster OMGivygrad. also also, i’m sure PK is getting much better girls than julia these days. assuming his ears have recovered from the braying, he can probably have a decent conversation and get a word in here and there, unlike with julia

      • People with NPD are very good at getting people to like them, as they quickly pretend to or adopt the ideas and opinions of those around them, making people think they’ve found a remarkably like-minded individual. They are also very good at getting people to hang on to them, via their fucked up head-game antics. However, they also tend to be the backstabby types, and anyone with half a brain, who has anything going for them in life other than the illusion of a ‘perfect mirror’ friend eventually sees through this. They also tend to be persistent, which causes those who have ditched them in the past to play nice, or recognize them in some way. This involves inserting themselves where any sane person would realize it is in appropriate to be.

        Assuming he has a) half a brain, b) anything else in his life going for him, I think he will probably tire of her shit pretty quickly, but, being a guy, will not stop her from spending her dough and clomping all over hell and back just so he can get a lay and a dreamy-eyed admirer out of her. However, when she starts trying to force commitment, or something better comes along, he will be out in heartbeat.

      • Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues

        The guy looks like a sneering twerp. Just the kind of entitled prick she deserves.

  9. “I’ve been standing in the same spot at this rally for AN HOUR in 6 in heels. Kirk will give his speech in 5 mins & NOW I really have to pee.”

    Stop whining, you fucking five-year-old.

    “Um that is ridiculously amaze-ballz. @Lillydog is jealous. RT @matthew: Stuffed my dog into a pumpkin: http://yfrog.com/75d23jj


      • I am SO THANKFUL she left the dog at home yesterday, at least. a white dog would’ve been a perfect canvas to paint with a big, red KIRK, and I am glad she wasn’t creative enough to come up with that new way to torture lilly and use her as a prop.

    • I’d like to stuff Julie in a pumpkin.

      Twitter just needed to know that Li’l Miss Julie had to use the potty. Classy. Really classy.

    • amaze-balls has to die. it’s a beyond stupid made up word. if she wanted to be taken seriously in journalism or media, she’d talk like an adult… just sayin’

      • I concur. The made-up word “amaze-ballz” must be stricken from our collective vocabulary. 🙁

      • I keep trying to push “hilovaries” but no one else seems to be buying in. Also, I don’t even know who this Vie person is, but it bugs the fuck out of me that Jankles thinks she has a TM on the term. Going back to NPD people — I’ve found that many of them are super quick to adopt the quips and terms associated with those around them, play them into the ground, then act like it is ‘their thing.’

  10. You know, as one of the wise Cat Ladies here pointed out how Donksers lives from holiday to holiday, I wonder what she will pull next. The vomit-inducing matching sweaters are still a month and a half away, but I predict a SLUTTY TURKEY costume for Thanksgiving.

    Are you reading this, you twit?? Go find yourself a slutty turkey costume. I’m sure you’ll be “amaze-ballz” in it.

  11. I think I’m going to have to message the photog since he’s an old newspaper friend of mine (to identify him based on Julia identifiers).

  12. This looks like an image one of us here catpersons would have shopped for LOLs. It looks like old people were added to the back ground. Julia is not even facing the same direction as the olds.

  13. She makes me want to vomit in the shower. Bitch wasn’t even gonna show up on election day until her daddy threatened to cut her off. Then it was ZERO to FULL THROTTLE cuntery ever since. What a fucking loser!!

  14. I would just like to point out to this cunt that she claims to support gay rights, but she just supported a gay Republican who supports DADT and opposes gay marriage.

    I would like to know how her gay “readers” and contributors feel about this.

    • She also said Kurt is a gay rights supporter somewhere (in a tweet? I don’t remember.)

      She is being reaaaaaaaaaal dumb.

      • @jessieabby – mark isn’t a d-bag. And I actually HAVE worked for him! For almost 2 years (107th congress). He’s pro-gay rights, as am I.

        she is so dumb. fo real.

        @juliaallison Ugh. Kirk is a proven liar, exaggerating claims. Focus on the facts, not on nailpolish colors and dress ensembles, please.

        @amybizzarri – I’ve known Mark since I was born, and trust me, his character is outstanding.

        and we should trust julia because… she says so???!

      • we should trust julia because she HERSELF is of excellent character, and therefore she can easily judge others to be of equally upstanding character.

      • Kirk is gay (but in the hiding). Everyone in Chicago knows this and it’s why his marriage broke up. He used to be progressive on some issues like gay rights and abortion but became EXTREMELY conservative during this last election cycle.

      • @featherbrained

        Was there some sort of luggage carrier/bathroom romp expose regarding Kirk? That were so many a few years back. I could have missed this one.

    • I really have to rant about this. Perhaps once it was possible to vote for a Republican and for it to be about some expression of libertarianism, etc.. But that’s just not true any more; the party has been overrun by what is at best populist nonsense and ignorance and at worst borderline fascism. It doesn’t fucking matter if Kirk says the right socially liberal things at some nasty little cocktail soiree at the Baugher insane asylum; what matters is that he is part of a machine that is now on the lunatic fringe of the right, and that is exactly what Julia is endorsing.

      Why is Julia incapable of understanding *anything” in a wider social or political context? She has no critical thinking skills whatsoever. Yes, that’s crushingly obvious to everyone, but sometimes it just enrages me so I have to write it down.

    • kirk is closeted. not sure why more people haven’t mentioned this yet. he’s arguably more gay than charlie crist.

      • More people haven’t mentioned it because it has nothing to do with Julie Albertson and because it’s kind of homophobic to speculate on the sexuality of public figures outside of the context of their positions on gay rights.

      • i think these guys are fair game bc they are gay yet vote against gay rights whenever convenient. e.g. charlie crist was against gay marriage before he was for it.

        these people are just goddamn tools.

      • The only thing I’ve seen of the guy was a video I watched this a.m. of his acceptance speech ~ nothing in his demeanor struck me as being in line w/ what we’re hearing & would expect to hear from his detractors following his divorce, ie: that he’s gay.

        Haven’t read the HuffPo piece yet, but I’m disinclined to put stock in anything reported there anyway ~ never saw anything so distorted as their embellished BS reporting of an incident that happened in my neck of the woods, which left a very Perez Hilton-esque impression of that claptrap website, ie: WASTE OF TIME.

  15. I am 99% certain that her political views on facebook had been listed as “very liberal,” but it’s no longer there. anyone else remember that? I think it must’ve changed very recently. political views are completely hidden now.

    also, on her wall, under her “ballot THIS” picture of her disgusting nails filling out the ballot for kirk:
    Kraig Wiedenfeld i thought you were a dem??
    8 hours ago
    Julia Allison I’m socially liberal. But so is Mark. Party affiliation can be misleading.
    about an hour ago

    bitch thinks ‘socially liberal’ translates into ‘I have TWO favorite gays, one who paints my nails, one who does my hair!’

  16. Her tweets the past half hour are crazy. Should anyone even take her seriously? She is of no importance in any intelligible light. The donkey says Mark has good character so he MUST!

    I’m growing increasingly concerned about my obsession with Taylor Swift. Is there nothing wrong with this charming sprite?!?? I adore her!
    less than 20 seconds ago via Echofon

    @nickbilton – having been through approximately 362 breakups, I can say that this does not surprise me. 😉
    8 minutes ago via Echofon in reply to nickbilton

    @eFlirtExpert – ha! We covered Roni in May – it was perfect 🙂 LOVE them!
    9 minutes ago via Echofon in reply to eFlirtExpert

    @EmilyGould – um… that is exactly what I do. HAHAHA
    18 minutes ago via Echofon in reply to EmilyGould

    Question for all you New York shoppers – @Jetblue @Citybuzz needs to find a fabulous NY shoppe to cover for our Dec seg. Any suggestions? 🙂
    18 minutes ago via Echofon

    @firefox – they loved it!! They actually wanted to pose with me. Very cute. Would love a teeshirt!!!
    22 minutes ago via Echofon in reply to firefox

    @amybizzarri – I’ve known Mark since I was born, and trust me, his character is outstanding.
    23 minutes ago via Echofon in reply to amybizzarri

    @AriMelber – yeah I actually LOL’d when I heard him say that. I love Obama but dorky much?? Hahah

      • @diluted brain – she hates herself, she latches on to anything other than what she actually is. which is a midwestern hick of average intelligence who happened to be born to a really smart dad and have a really smart brother. but julia, alas, got none of their brains. just their aspie social skills.

      • i do not know any brits who say ‘shoppe’ and as a part of the commonwealth i have never heard it used where i live.

        she’s such a re-tard.

      • I am British and I have never used that word. Nor have I ever seen it on a shop sign, or heard of anyone else use it. TOOL

    • Thirty year old women should not be obsessed with teenage siingers. Period. Especially when that teenage singer is a slut shaming whiner.

      • Especially when that teenage singer is a slut shaming whiner who can’t sing.

        fixed that for ya. any other sad catlady besides me watch dancing with the stars? swiftie-poo was on last night, and, ugh…girl cannot sing live. it was kind of painful.

        the “charming sprite” shit is really weird, though. apparently spending her night with the olds last night at a rally turned the donkey into an 80 year old grandma, because WHO TALKS LIKE THAT?!

      • Uh, not so much Taytay, but this 30 yr old MAY or MAY NOT have gotten obsessed with that Party in the USA song and then realized it was Miley (also a teenage singer who is a slut {snip} whiner) but couldn’t shake my obsession. And even grew to like Miley a bit, just because she produced the world’s most delightful song.

        What can I say, it’s freaking catchy, y’all!

    • “Hearing him say that he will never compromise and that he will never do anything short of exactly what he wants was my queue [sic]to leave.”

      paging meghan asha!

      • Ha! Maybe she knows she just one in a long line of women who aren’t going to get their needs met by this guy!

      • One would think in 4.5 years, you would realize this by now. How old is this fool anyway?
        Her face scares me, is that bad?

      • well, it did take her 6 years to finish college, so she’s a widdle swow. also, she looks exactly like her middle-aged mother.
        compare: MOM and Artax

      • wow, that is an EYEBROW SITUATION right there, Artax! Get thee to a Clinique counter! Your mom looks younger than you.

      • @fuck camping – it actually took artax 7 yrs to finish college, IIRC. kind of incredible since she went to such academic powerhouses as arizona state, fairfield community college, and u of connecticut @ stamford.

      • OMG LAYDEEEZ it’s not sad when someone with no personality breaks up with someone who has played golf every weekend since he was NINE YEARS OLD.

        You want trauma? TWO WORDS: RAND PAUL


      • Thank you, Stalker and Calfadelphia. Now I feel so much better, I shall commence drinking all over again. SECOND LIFE.

    • Add Atari to the long list of bloggers who have made the terrible, terrible mistake, both personally and professionally, of sharing personal information on line for all the world to see.

      Does she think a potential employer will read that incredibly bitter, one-sided account of a romantic break-up and say: “oh well, we all get upset during break-ups. I’m sure she’s usually level-headed. Heck, I think she’s brave to share it all with the world! This is exactly the kind of passionate, balls-out go-getter we need hear at IdiotTech!”

      Or maybe they’ll just take a pass. Move on to a candidate that doesn’t have boundary issues or narcicissim issues.

      Shit, she would have been better off downing a couple bottles of fierce red wine with some friends and drunkenly keying his car doors.

    • Awwww honey, a guy who won’t make sacrifices? Welcome to men Artax.
      Also you’re a liar, you were more than happy to spend every weekend with him on his boat, in fact if I recall you pretty much boasted about it. Also, you should have put your own shelves together, don’t think he doesn’t have resentments. So shut up, get a full time job and leave home. Christ, these girls.

      • titcr.

        men will change ANYTHING for the right girl. well, almost anything. good luck for arax (an incredible narcissist if i’ve ever seen one… i mean her life goal is to “be julia allison”). i just can’t imagine many men wanting to be with someone like her. his family is in the tree grooming/landscaping business and she’s belittled him for being blue collar, much like emily berated her guy for being unemployed and eating fast food all day.

      • the problem i have is that this has been going on for years. he is who he always was. atari was just slow to the party and continued to live in idealized land of their relationship, refusing to see him for who he always was.

    • That dude sounds like a narcissist. No empathy. Ajax made the right call, and if she starts to look for that same pattern in the rest of her friendships, she might finally see the donkey for what she is. This is a growth opportunity, Aflac! Seize it!

      P.S. donkey

  17. Um. A tacky famewhoring donkey, just called Obama a dork

    @AriMelber – yeah I actually LOL’d when I heard him say that. I love Obama but dorky much?? Hahah
    about 2 hours ago via Echofon in reply to AriMelber

    Dear Secret Service, please arrest this woman. She is not a true American.

    • Hey! My bro is in the secret service (on Obama’s detail). He always has juicy bits of Obama gossip. Anywho, maybe I’ll tell him to get on that… Nevermind, I’m too embarrassed to even admit I know who she is.

      • Nice gig! Do they switch out the Secret Service presidential detail with each administration, like they do with cabinet members? Because I kind of can’t imagine that any one individual would be willing to take a bullet for either Bush OR Obama. Like, I would fling myself in front of a terrorist for Barack with no hesitation, but I would just as easily shove George in front of a moving tank.

      • No, they don’t switch. Regardless of how you feel about the current or past presidents, dignitaries (sp?) your job is what it is.
        Hes also spent time with Bush on his ranch.
        Went with Michelle and the girls to Spain (he said they did absolutely nothing).
        Anyways, he also said Obama has quite a few more vacations planned in the next few months.
        OH!! And the best part is he said that Obama is still a crazy chain smoker- just never in his own hotel room or in front of press, etc. And he’ll throw out any press he doesn’t like without a second thought.

      • And one more thing- they pick who is on the detail specific for the event.
        For instance- we come from a very non-religious family. So, when the pope was in NYC he was sent because they knew he wouldn’t be standing there in awe of the pope. Instead he would be looking at the audience or for suspicious activity.

      • given all the crazy professional connections RBNSers have, we should seriously just start our own social network.

      • thats so interesting! i have a friend whose brother is one of hilary clinton’s bodyguards- this may come as a shock but he says that clinton always has some young girl hes doing (gasp!) and that hil knows all about it. they even arrange things to keep it hidden from the public, with her knowledge basically. however, the press and all the people surrounding them know are aware, and for some reason or other it doesnt get reported. id like to know if michelle o is a diva- i love her but i get the sense that she could have some serious divatude behind the scenes.
        oh, and tell your brother to let obama know that he missed out on his true speechwriter! have him read some of nonsociety and im sure he will be convinced!

      • I have a Bill Clinton Secret Service story. But it’s totes a secret. If I told you I’d probably have to kill you.

      • please tell! you can change some details or leave some out so its less incriminating! it has to do with the laydies, right?

    • What am I not understanding about that Tweet? Why does Little Miss Vocabulary Word of the Day Fucking Fuckwad think his use of the word “shellacking” is dorky. It’s a perfectly legitimate word, aptly applied by the guy who should be reading donkey-speeches.

      Hey, Princess Grease, one word: WUNDERKIND. I bet Obama knows how to say it.

  18. For someone afraid of approaching her expiration date, Julie sure knows how to dress like a middle aged frump.

    She is old now.

  19. So she comes back to nyc just to film those City Buzz things? WHY does she keep coming back here?

    Just landed in New York & nose pressed to window, saw about 10 little planes lined up to depart. Inexplicably I wanted to pet them. Err… 3 minutes ago via Echofon

    • OK. Her latest CB “segment” – correct me if I’m wrong – but isn’t it just a combination of previous “segments”? She’s been in every single one of those “stops” outside of maybe Macy’s (wtf?) in previous CB “segments”. I don’t even see the point in putting it out as it seems they simply recycled material. Naturally she’s crowdsourcing for December, the month that holds her FAVORITE HOLIDAY EVERRRR!!! Sad. 🙁


      • She also says that Macy’s is the best place to shop during the holidays. Um. No. No it is not. In fact it probably tops the list of the last place you’d want to be at that time of year.
        Also, she wants to pet airplanes? Where the hell is her dog? Who’s petting Lily right now? (Isn’t it creepy how she goes dead silent on that topic until it’s time to haul the poor thing out for another cameo?) Seriously. It’s been two steady years of witnessing gross neglect and abuse. (Yes JABa, the way you neglect that dog and shuttle her around for your fauxto-ops, use her as a prop at parties, and throw her around in your stupid videos IS abusive.) Ugh.

      • Macy’s is an utter living fucking HELL, especially during the holidays. You couldn’t pay me enough to go there in the month of December. She’s a fucking retard who knows nothing. Besides I thought she loved BERGDORF’s. Only the best with Daddy’s credit cards!

      • Since we are on the topic of Crippis, this is an OT crowd source, but I am somewhat agoraphobic (not afraid of the outdoors, but large, furious, unpredictable crowds have been known to give me panic attacks) and am not my best at shopping around the holidays because of this. Additionally, my dudebrah is reeeeeally difficult to shop for, because he makes three times as much money as me, so he pretty much picks up any object he wants on a whim. What on earth do I get him? Last year I got him a few things based on casual comments about things he was interested in — that I had to special order. Anyone have any fun gift ideas I can mull over?

        Also, to compound this shit, his birthday is six days after Crippis (New Year’s Eve baby), so I have to think of more than one awesome gift! What to do?!

      • A tattoo? Srsly, it’s hard to tell when I don’t know anything about him. Also, I have no imagination. Mr. Silkypaws (also making several times more money than my obese hater self) is getting a book, an RAF roundel and a knife that looks like a fish.

        The knife’s a Czech cult classic, but he doesn’t know that because he’s a clueless American. Speaking of clueless, I’ve only spent a couple of weeks in New York in my lifetime and even *I* know that Macy’s should be avoided especially during the holidays. Whatever! Live differently!

      • Helena — Lulzing a little at the tattoo suggestion. As fully painted as I am, my dudebrah doesn’t have any, nor any interest in any. In fact, before me, he had never dated a tattooed girl, or had any interest in tattoos. It’s twuely wuv.

        Good up on the knife — it is funny and would get a rise out of my (for real, not jankles style) pesca boyfriend.

      • A love that tore down the ancient wall between inked and non inked people! I’m truly impressed.

        In all seriousness, if you’d really like to get the fish knife as a fun stocking stuffer for your dudebrah, the “people’s” version (that is the basic, regular steel, non-silver, non-24kt gold version) costs about 3-4 dollars and it’s very easy to buy locally. If you aren’t afraid of an angry, sort of sad obese hater overseas having your mailing address, I’d be happy to send it to you. Keep in mind. it’s a really SMALL fun knife, though. On the other hand, another (bigger, I suppose) knife produced by the same brand appeared in “Casino Royale.”

      • I don’t know who Cordy is, but if he or she has a deep-seated dislike of Alex Beauchamp, I’m sure we’ll get along like a house afire.

      • No, wait, I just figured out who you’re talking about! Cordelia! Yes! I am her friend! I am Malcolm Sex!

      • Heh heh. I was going off on Gluten-Free Girl a while ago on RBNS (when Jules was first talking ceiling-cat disease) and no one responded with any recognition, so I wouldn’t have guessed there were other Friends of Cordelia in the building.

        Is Come Sit By Me still online in some form? I have a burning need to share my opinions on Christian Weston Chandler, but he doesn’t seem like GOMI fodder.

      • JABa, I just registered minidriver@catlover.com (yes, this is a real domain, one of the options you get when you register at mail.com.) Send it on! I used to be b0utrosb0utros@yahoo, but I have no idea what the password to that one is. I was on a LOT of drugs in the Boutros-Boutros Kitty days.

      • Hey JABa, maybe you should run it by Cordy before giving anything out (nothing to you mini, just as a general rule).

      • No offense taken, XX. I always appreciated that Cordelia took a lot of care keeping the URL on the down-low so that none of the bloggers who were routinely skewered would read what had been written about them. Snark should be for fun and bonding, not to cause the snarkees grief.

  20. I don’t mind Julie waving a Kirk sign with her gaping maw in the paper. Whenever she attempts to discuss a political stance – be it in accordance with or opposing his (because it’s not like she knows any of that anyway), whenever he gets caught in yet another lie/exaggeration, that photo in the paper will be there IN PERPETUITY with her being cited as a “supporter”, overenthusiastic photo evidence included. One or more of these things are inevitable, and thus, so are the lulz.

    • But it *IS* omgincredible.
      Lest we assume Donké would deign to attend anything of lesser quality.

      • Donqué purchases only the finest YSL tributes, the shiniest freshwater pearls*, and the best economy over-the-wing airplane seats that there are!

        *actually her mom’s

  21. am i the only one who thinks that donkey’s tattoo looks trashy and tragic, esp in light of her attempts to act “preppy” and support the establishment/business interests like she was doing at this kirk rally?

    i dont get the whole craze with girls getting tattoos that can’t be covered up, like on their wrists, etc. i think it looks tragic. sorry, i realize this makes me sexist in some of your eyes, but i dont like this crap on men either. brant’s wrist tattoo looks like cheap crap as well.

    • She’s a trashy disgusting hick with no style. Of course her tattoo is heinous. It fits her personality.

    • I hate tattoos. I will not go there. This is partly because I used to volunteer at an old age home and was horrified to see what happens to them when people get old. No. Just no.

      • i dont have any personally, but i can understand men getting them on a shoulder or maybe chest, etc. i dont understand all these weird back-of-the-neck or inside-the-wrist ones. or the stereotypical lower back ones on women. unless youre a musician, artist, or actress, i really think it looks trashy.

        i esp dont understand it bc donkey pretends to be some Ivy-type preppy (which she is not). gross.

      • “i dont understand […] stereotypical lower back ones on women. unless youre a musician, artist, or actress, i really think it looks trashy.”

        You’re saying tats are trashy on women UNLESS the woman is ‘a musician, artist, or actress’?

        Rhetorical question, but I’m wondering how you even quantify that statement. If shown a low back tat & asked is it trashy, yes or no, your answer would hinge entirely on gender & occupation?

        LOL, AFF ~ you have a better grasp of ‘stereotypical’ than you give yourself credit for. 🙂

      • People like the donkey get tattoos because they’re empty inside and they think they can create the illusion of personality and depth by etching something “totally unique” on their bodies. I wouldn’t be surprised if she sat there in the chair thinking that tattoo was going to change her life. Just like the ashram.


      • Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues

        Didn’t she get the Long Island University tat when she was trying to pretend that she’s a hipster?

    • Afghani, just because m’lady hails from SIMPLY AMAZING, pedigreed stock doesn’t mean she should be denied the pleasure of tacky tats, dropping f*bombs, talking about sucking cock and flashing those titties! This genteel flower cannot be tamed, ok? So don’t even try!

      • i mean, by donkey’s own admission, 362 dudes have tried and failed to “tame her flower”. she is a BAD ASS who will not be ignored JOHN MAYER/MEGHAN MCCAIN/TAYLOR SWIFT/SHANNON ELIZABETH!

      • Man, I’ll bet she doesn’t have a chance with all these A-list Silicon Valley types she wants to bag. i mean, I am female but if I know a guy is a serial dater who has a string of 90-day failed relationships…RED FLAG! And I’m a basement dwelling cat lady, not some VC Ivy grad who thinks he deserves a VS model/neurosurgeon/socialite/linguist/humanitarian/heiress. She is the female equivalent of “Mr. Right Now”.

        Oh my…I just felt a pang of sympathy for Donqué. I need to scroll through her Twitter feed, brb.

    • I have a chest piece, half-sleeve, wrist tattoo, neck tattoo, hip tattoo (that says ‘cunt’!), back tattoos, tattoos in the crook of my elbows, a leg piece, feet tattoos, and a 3/4 sleeve I start in December. I’m not at all offended. I don’t get my tattoos to impress you; I get them because they mean something to me. Whether I look tacky or not, I am educated, self-sufficient, have a respectable professional job (where I do not hide them [well, except for the ‘cunt’]), and I like who I am.

      Donkey, on the other hand, got her tattoo to impress a boy. So she can fuck right the hell off.

      • THAT is a lot of ink, mcakez.

        Watching a friend get his 3/4 sleeve stenciled & also seeing some of it get filled-in, I became somewhat of a fan during the process ~ I could tell how much it hurt near the armpit, because non-smoking musician that he is, he burned through most of my cigarettes in no time.

        I used to hate tats, but I’ll admit, that was before ever looking closely at any ~ now I look at ’em every chance I get, & I see many that are quite the work of art. I also like hearing the stories behind the choices.

      • @zandra — I do, indeed, have a broken heart with a banner that reads ‘cunt.’ I have a whole manifesto about the word, but my computer is dying. It’s a red heart with a banner across it that says “cunt” in really delicate cursive. It’s one of my most simple tattoos, but also one of my favorites.

        And no henna. Gen-u-wine Looney Tunes.

    • Oh, I guess I should point out that my tattoos are actual ‘art’ though. I mean that mostly literally. My chest is an adapted piece of James Jean’s ‘Prada One,’ my right arm is a convergence of two Mark Ryden paintings, my feet feature the art of Kakula, my leg is a concept of of my own imagining but in the style of Will Cotton, and my upcoming sleeve is another design of my own but with a splash of Sylvia Ji.

      Ask LLFOOLJ — she will have my back.

    • haha, you live in Baltimore, Tattoo Capitol of the World. I’m with you on your philosophy though… if I wanted to make a statement I could mark myself with a Sharpie or India Ink to work out my issues and let it wash off as I get my senses back. And I’m Mister Art School.
      That’s only me and I have nothing against tats but I’m verging on being an “old” and regret the bad decisions I mad ein my youth while I’m grateful I didn’t act out more.
      “LIU” not only reads as “Long Island University” but also “lieu” which means “without” and that is pointed.
      Let’s work on a a Charm city Meet Up, pref after finals in December.

      • I actually live sort of close to the Balt Tattoo Museum near Little Italy on Eastern Avenue. I wasn’t saying I think all tats are ugly. I’m talking about these little preppy wannabes like Julia who get a tattoo as a fad, when they secretly hope to be some guy’s stay at home blogger/mom and be a pearls-wearing society girl. It’s totally different when other people do it, but I’m talking about these Julia types. I misspoke of you guys are taking it on me hating all tats.

      • and oh ya, we can meet up in December or whenever. i’m just some sad catlady hater trapped in a male lawyer’s body, but if i’m under 400 lbs in december maybe i can make it out of my parents’ basement and meet up @ Brewer’s Art. or anywhere else. i think my part of town is too douche-y to appropriately host an RBNS meet up of any sort. we have lots of douchey types here in southeast, between fed hill and canton.

      • I got Read St. Tattoo round the corner from me.
        I always find it hilarious, as a DC/NYC exile who has lived throughout Europe and Asia, that yr area is perceived as being so uppitty and yuppy. Mt. Vernon, likewise, has this reputation as being the place where all the rich people reside and I have yet to meet any one of them despite my proactive engagement with the community and the parks.
        If I can get down 350# at least by December – and get rid of staph infection my 14-plus cats have caused me – and get out outta my basement… – heys wait, me basement in my c. 1790 was later part of the Underground Railroad and I could have been an Obama speechwriter (actually my dad was one of his campaign aadvisors). She’s pissing the hell out of me but I got bigger catfish to fry.
        dude, email at
        skunkeye@hotail.com and we can set up this Baltimore disaster.

      • my area def isnt uppity, its mostly old white ppl. but a few blocks away its annoyingly julia-like. lots of entitled, bratty kids. except that im the same age as julia and i can see these ppl are kids, whereas she thinks that’s normal 30 yr old behavior. you know, the ME ME ME attitude and running around drunk at 4am, fighting over parking, hanging on guys in bars, blah blah.

        ya, i’ll shoot you an email in a while, we can do something in december. no rush–it would be cool to get some other ppl too. def not to hate on donkey, she’s too boring for that, but just to meet the other people who post here. i used to live in NYC but only make it up a few times a yr, so im never going to meet those posters.

      • ” i dont understand all these weird back-of-the-neck or inside-the-wrist ones. or the stereotypical lower back ones on women. unless youre a musician, artist, or actress, i really think it looks trashy.”

        “It’s totally different when other people do it, but I’m talking about these Julia types. I misspoke of you guys are taking it on me hating all tats.”

        Ah yes, now I can see how you totally don’t hate all tattoos, just the ones on women who aren’t in three specific professions. All cleared up now! (Btw, wouldn’t go throwing the word “trashy” around too much, people might start associating it with you! HTH!)

      • I live in Baltimore too! Behind a Popeye’s! I used to be a cat lady, but then my cat died from eating one of the poisoned rats from said Popeye’s. True story.

      • I’m just a couple blocks away from that Be Lucky tattoo place on the Ave in Hampden.

        I don’t know, just thought I’d add that.

  22. Isn’t Ironic?

    This picture may have been printed in a Chicago rag called RED EYE.

    And Mulia Malisson is BANNED from a National show called RED EYE.

  23. OT, but Donqué’s twitter just showed 0 following, 0 followers. a snafu, i’m guessing, but not universal, as other twitter pages appear normal.

    • a strapless dress with tights? I’m no fashionista, but isn’t that kind of…stupid? it’s like her legs are dressed for january, but her shoulders are going out in mid-july.

    • Not the opaque black tights with cocktail dresses again. Those who do not press the learn button on their history are doomed to repeat it, I suppose. She went through a phase like this a while back — during which she wore that white, gauzy, bustier-top, be-tutued Aqua dress with the hanger straps over her shoulders. Remember?

      • She’s a Clothes Donkey, that one. A regular Fashionista. What was the occasion for this particular little slutstume?

      • what i love most is that she considers herself a fashionista, when she is LITERALLY so ineffably out of touch with current trends. i can only imagine the shock of fashion week attendants when they saw what appeared to be a pear shaped, middle aged soccer mom braying around the tents. she dresses like the nightmare of some 80’s oklahoman senior-citizen-beauty-pageant winner. i dont even know where she finds so many brightly colored a line prom dresses . . .

      • That’s too funny how she considers herself a fashionista but she is really a Glamour Don’t all the time. Wish someone would nominate her for What Not to Wear.

    • You have to wonder if someone had mentioned simply once that standing with your legs further apart makes you look thinner – even if that was true, there’s no need to air out the crotch as far as she does. Embarassing!

  24. Funny how Ms. Billow tweets that she’s on a “12 day, 8 state road trip with 4 passengers.” That sure doesn’t sound like she flew into NY especially for a “mini-reunion with me” — that is, the Donkey. But then, from the POV of our dear JABa, everything is always about ME, isn’t it?

    • Aren’t Natasha & Billow really good friends w/ each other, but less so these days w/ Donkey? Yeah, thought so.

      Donkey may as well have said last week that her old imaginary schoolmate’s brother’s friends all flew to Vegas to meet up w/ her & since she was wearing a Halloween costume to a strip club, they may as well have a bachelor party while they’re at it.

      In her mind, it’s All The Donkey Show
      ALL *snap* THE *snap* TIME *snap*

      Methinks she’s incapable of staying in the OMG!Downtown!Condo!

      • Make that “In the words of Emily Litella,” not Roseanne Roseannadanna. I am drink and should not be screwing around with 35 year old SNL subreferences.

  25. …(Natasha and Rachel) flew in for a mini-reunion WITH ME in NYC.



    A REUNION WITH ME! Not a group, a chance to SEE. ME!

    • This is so revealing. I believe most of us here — if we were inclined to maniacally post everything about our OMG incredibly different lives — would tweet: “So excited to be in NYC for a long overdue reunion with two of my best friends.”
      But no. In the Donkey world, her besties (enablers) are flying into NYC to have a reunion with HER. (One can only pray they’ll stage an intervention; and expect to be sorely disappointed … not that dear JABa would go beyond paying lip service to any good counsel anyway. Donkey epitomizes the Texan phrase: “All hat, no beef.”)

    • My friend has a dog with severely arthritic front legs and he stands the exact same way. He walks really awkwardly too, maybe that explains her clomping? lol.

    • She is trying to minimize her bowleggedness by taking a deliberately wide, pigeon-toed, schoolgirl stance, in the hope that it will seem tiny and cute and adorable and *intended* instead of a cruel trick of nature.

    • One would think that she reads here enough that she’d get the point that it makes her look worse – not skinnier. It’s a dreadful pose. I wouldn’t facebook that photo, no less put it on a blog if I wrote one.

    • damn, she’s up 400 since last time I looked – all b/c she was able to blow someone to get “verified”

      We’re still waiting for our company’s account to be verified – waiting 6months now.

    • HA! someone needs to take a screenshot of this – it is such an incredibly nuanced metaphor for her life.
      life- youre doing it wrong.

    • Billow is also showing zero followers/following. Interesting to note that back at the Non Society ranch, Katrina, Lindsay and TJ are all showing normal numbers. Strange.

      • I was being facetious up above when I alluded to Donkey’s twatourage getting wiped out due to her pissing off someone at Carnegie Hall w/ fauxtoshooting during live performance, etc., but she’s there w/ Billow … how lovely would it be if Donkey was finally called out on her rudeness in public?

  26. “A totally fake posed shot after the concert had ended ;)”

    I never would have guessed! I thought all those other people were rudely filing out in the middle of the performance. See, le donque doesn’t even perceive them. She sees only her own visage in the glow of the camera phone, then uploads without a second glance.

    Also, either she has spray-tanned her arms or her foundation is three shades too light. I always wonder what she truly looks like without makeup. Even in the videos where she claims to be barefaced, she’s still got eyeliner on.

    • Also? I’m guessing Donkey has been stepping out on her peltmaster, or did I just miss the usual 300-odd tweets about her latest hairroristic crime against nature? She’s got slightly more going on there than her naturally stringy tresses …

    • Also, at least 2 of them seem to have coordinated their OMG strapless with black tights outfits. 1. That’s a bad look. 2. No one who lives in NYC as a functioning adult dresses that way.

      JA should move to Murray Hill and impersonate a college student until she can get fake knocked up and blackmail some sap. Because I bet THIS went down at the OMG downtown condo!:


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