Julia: Tool


I don’t know about Illinois, but in several states, this is illegal.

I’m proud to say I voted Mark Kirk for Senate!!

There are also several shots of her sidling up to Mark Kirk signs with her bobbypin mullet, red dress, white cardigan and blue hooves. I don’t even want to know who snapped the photos. Dadsers, if it’s you, you should be ashamed of yourself. Instead of urging your messed-up daughter to vote, you should rush her to the nearest psych ward.


  1. What is illegal, photographing ballots?

    Also, those nails look even worse than I thought, and that’s saying something.

  2. HATE her. Gawd. Go away, grow up and learn a trade or skill. Mark Kirk is a big ass liar, so her support of him seems in line with her morals.

    • Her dad has been donating to his campaigns for years. He’s a fraud, big time liar, and totally on the wrong side of every issue. Perfect for the Baughers!

  3. There are so many legit reasons NOT to vote for Kirk, but the only one I could come up with when I was in the polling station today was her.

  4. How can she declare herself “very liberal” on her FB profile and then vote for this tool? I don’t give a shit that he’s friends with her parents. You either have the courage of your convictions or you don’t, regardless of your Daddy’s golf pals.

    Oh wait. Of course. Donkey.

    • This.

      I am fucking left wing and i will not vote for anything right of centre (or really the current version of centre, but hey, it could happen!).

      Be you on the left or right, that’s cool, but I could never in my entire life imagine not voting with my beliefs.

      She sucks.

      • I am somewhat radically liberal, I think, but I cozied up with a blanket and a beer, read my voters guide, and decided my heart on all the issues. When I came home, the democratic party had posted an ‘election guide’ on my door, and I lulzed a bit, because — without outside provocation — I had voted in line with everything on the flier. NO ONE tells me how I do or don’t vote.

        I am going to admit at this point that I abstained from voting for any of the Cali supreme court nominees, because I was not familiar enough with their positions. If I don’t know — I don’t vote.

    • has she given any good reason as to WHY she’s voting for Kirk?

      I may be guilty of calling myself a moderate liberal and being tempted to vote for Bloomberg (who is very moderate himself), but I do see the inherent contradiction in that.

    • Wow, those are some weird proportions going on … length of the sweater is weird? She looks like an oddly constructed (and utterly horrifying) paper doll.

      Also: democracy is not a fucking photo opportunity. Why does she endorse Kirk? (Well, of course, because he’s Dadser’s pal, but whatever.) She has a g-d political science degree (right? Am I making that up?) and she can’t even articulate, say, one policy of his that she agrees with? At least she’s bringing her A game when it comes to getting your nails did.

  5. Also, can we note that by her own admission, she wouldn’t have voted anywhere without peer pressure from her dad? It sounds like she just decided to vote last night.

    • Yes, but she brayed about voting recently, so um, yeah. Bitch has NO convictions except wanting to be famous/receive all positive attention for existing. So yeah, she sucks.

      • She has a conviction to ensnare a husband, and that conviction grudgingly lost to appeasing sugar-dadser today.

  6. just an observation, this is the FOURTH post on RBNS titled “Julia: Tool”.
    there have also been three or four posts with the title “Julia: Dumb”. i just find that interesting. she keeps doing the same toolish things and we keep being incensed by them, because she is, well, a dumb tool. 😉

    • “Julia: Dumb” and “Julia: Tool” are my favorite titles. I would put those headlines on every post if I could but that would be unimaginative. But nine times out of 10, they perfectly summarize her dumb toolness and/or her tooly dumbness.

      • true, + agree with nuanced stabbies below.
        topical alternatives* might be “Julia: Pelty”, “Julia: Greasy”, or “Julia: Asinine”.

        *not lotions and/or creams.

      • Also, as much as she recycles her adverbs more than a Magic 8 ball recycles “the outlook is cloudy,” I think Jacy and JP are entitled to a little on-point repetition.

  7. I guess I don’t really get the point of this, or her in general, but one thing at a time. Why is she shilling for Mark Kirk? It’s great that you voted in a hideous outfit and stab inducing finger nails, but why say for who. It’s not like her blog has any kind of political bend to it, I doubt she could even tell you a single campaign issue. (Julia Googles then posts about campaign issues). I mean Obama then Kirk? Ok.

    The guy is not running for Queen of the nerds ball or whatever she always tries to get crowned, it’s an actual election and it seems really weird to me that she’s advertising it in the same manner of thunder thigh cleanse. Not even tacky, or rude, or in poor taste, just completely scarily insane.

  8. Interesting how election day is suddenly of such monumental importance to her despite the fact that she wasn’t even supposed to be here for it. Twenty bucks says that, whilst frolicking merrily in Vegas, she let it slip to the boy and/or OMGRandi that she was going to be back in the Bay Area through Tuesday, hanging around with her electronic butt picker. When *they* likely responded with queries, she suddenly couldn’t afford not to be here, performing her civic duty.

    Just how *I* imagine it playing out.

    PS – Kirk = Friend of Donkey

    PSS – Donkey.

    • from her facebook wall:

      Julia Allison JA Peripatetic Schedule (TM), yo.
      Chicago: … – Oct 25
      NY: Oct 25 – Oct 27
      SF: Oct 27 – Oct 28
      Vegas: Oct 29 – Oct 31
      SF: Nov 1 – Nov 3
      NY: Nov 4 – Nov 5
      DC: Nov 5 – Nov 6 (tentative)
      NY: Nov 7 – Nov 8
      Chicago: Nov 9 …
      October 26 at 3:05am

      and then 24 hours later:
      Julia Allison JA Peripatetic Schedule (TM), Updated, yo.
      Chicago: … – Oct 25
      NY: Oct 25 – Oct 27
      SF: Oct 27 – Oct 28
      Vegas: Oct 29 – Oct 31
      SF: Oct 31 (PM) – Nov 2 (AM)
      Chicago: Nov 2 – Nov 3 (ELECTION DAY!!!)
      NY: Nov 3 – Nov 5
      DC: Nov 5 – Nov 6 (tentative)
      NY: Nov 7 – Nov 8
      Chicago: Nov 9 …
      October 27 at 2:36am

      given that she flew to sf at 9 am on the 27th, I’d bet her parents were very unhappy that she wasn’t going to be in chicago to vote, and wouldn’t pay for any of her other schizophrenic travel plans if she didn’t come back to vote for their friend. lovely to know her parents exert their authority over her when it’s something that’s ‘important’ like voting for their friend, and not when it’s something like behaving like an adult and paying her own way in life.

      • We have to forgive her, it’s not like Election Day is always the first Tuesday in November….oh wait….

        Meghan Asha has the same affliction, remember how last year she pulled out of the NYC Marathon to celebrate her last Halloween as a twentysomething? Even though she had to know what the date was when she signed up for the marathon.

      • she lives from holiday to holiday. it’s like there is LITERALLY nothing else for her but theme dressups in different cities (airports, airplanes, hotels, or security lines). sad.com. next up, thanksgiving!
        hey julie, what about veteran’s day (sad old dudes, not cool), columbus day (sad brown people, not cool), or labor day (sad people who sit in chairs and run errands, not cool)?

      • you all are silly! lullzz

        Seriously, if I had this blog and you all against me, I’d:
        a) go offline, forever, for good
        b) kill myself (not being *literal* Julie)
        c) learn from it so as at least not to actively provide fodder!

        she’s listened to wayyyyy too many “h8trz gonna’ h8”

      • @Julia’s Too Small Tutu

        When Meghan pulled out of the marathon because it was the day after Halloween I got a severe case of brayage. It seems weird to get so outraged over something stupid like that, but to me it just showed their stupidity and lack of work ethic. When something inconveniences them they just say, “Meh i’ll just stop working and go to a party instead.” To train for a marathon and then not run because there is a cool party going on instead is something a child would do. And what does she think happens to people who want to celebrate Halloween after 30?? Brayage is coming back…

    • I’ll take that bet.

      My $20 assumes *no* invite was extended to park hooves on OMG!Randi!’s couch nor raftass in The Boy’s bed so, like a weak Peewee Herman impression, Donkey is declaring “I meant to do that!” by going all batshit intense w/ the lunchroom lady Sunday-best dragstume & entirely too much focus on cardboard yard signs.

      What do I win?

  9. Also, things like this are all the proof I need to know who oats her bills, and has for the last decade, and will for the next decade. Don’t see Britton there wearing the American flag as a cape.

  10. I hate Kirk as much as the next guy/gal, but why have the Dems been unable to get anyone decent to take that seat. First Burris (OK that was Blago’s fault), then Giannoulias? You guys really don’t have anyone better than that in your entire state? WTF?

    • Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues

      For the same reason that we NYers couldn’t find anyone decent to run against Schumer’s poodle, Gillebrand.

    • it’s still up on her facebook, with the caption “Ballot THIS”…because that tots makes sense.

    • For once her tits aren’t hanging/thrusting out (maybe it’s her idea of a conservative Republican look; you know how she loves to wear the proper frock for an occasion), but white cardigans are generally not chic. She looks like 70’s-era middle school office lady.

  11. Obviously, I hate this bitch. (I’m here after all.)

    But, Julia flying back to Chicago to vote, with her “aren’t I cute with my patriotic nails”, for the candidate who is 6 million degrees from liberal because he’s her daddy’s friend has me wanting to kick her. She must be stopped.

    PLEASE, ALL, stop linking to her site. STOP looking at her site. You are only feeding the beast. The beast must die and I think we’re the only things keeping it alive. If you want to check out her twitter for a daily giggle, by all means, but STOP going to her site.

    Let’s put this stupid, narcissistic, 30 year old Daddy’s Girl to bed.

      • Someone brought up the idea here months ago that maybe just 1 designated RBNS’er should visit her site, or keep it in their feed reader, and report back here. We can still post our vitriol, but will not all be contributing to her page views.. Sounds like a plan to me.

    • i’m with ya, i’m done being donked. i’m not going to check out that shitshow anymore. she’s an empty vessel. let’s leave it to the moderators to check out her daily asininity.

      • I don’t like giving her page views either but there’s almost always crazy crap going on at both her twitter and her blergh, and I don’t want to miss the lulz. I just checked in over there, and on both her twitter and her shitcast, she’s drooling over some cute guy/former fighter pilot who just got elected to congress, braying loudly about whether or not he’s married. She posted a picture of him and will probably be tweeting him throughout the night. She’s really poring it on big time. I’m sure her current “boy” is enjoying it. She’s such a dick.

    • I hear you and I rarely go to her site, but at this point does it really matter if she gets page views? A few years ago she may have been able to say to SONY “Look at me I have lots of page views. Hire me to be your spokesdonkey!” But now? She has been jobless and shiftless for about a year and it seems like everyone knows she is a joke.

  12. Dear Julia,
    Since Dadser doesn’t have the cash to support your BPC spewing ass in NYC any longer, I forecast a decline in your flights/trips.

    And with Ally getting preggers soon (you know there trying to give Dadser and Momser the little one), ol Grandad has to make sure there’s room enough for everyone to hop aboard his wallet.

    Poort Dadser. Literally and figuratively.

    • I somewhat doubt that Ally and baby bro will be pregnant soon. They have an education, future, jobs and responsibilities, and will probably put that on hold until after they have everything secure, and they get everything prepared and in-line to be a stable household. Maybe I am giving them too much credit, or maybe I am just hoping someone will stop the insanity.

      That isn’t to say they won’t be pregnant BEFORE HER, but I only say that because I expect her to die an old maid, or settle for a(nother) sugardaddy when she is well past her expiration date, and no one (LITERALLY no one, since we will all have become bored/too depressed to even follow her) pays attention to her anymore.

      Or perhaps she will poke a hole in a condom just to snare her dream-dude, and so she no longer has to deal with that gross, tedious ugly-bumping process she clearly finds so repulsive.

  13. She probably has to do this to keep her paychecks from Dadsers rolling in. This makes me sick. I’m sorry, I’ve kind of stood by her through most of the demands to grow up and act her thirty-year-old age, but I am sick of watching her approach the entire world as if it is one gigantic faux-to opportunity for her. I guess these voting photos, and the Halloween bridge to nowhere photos, just illustrate the extent to which she has forgotten that there is an entire world around her that gets up every day to do something useful. PLEASE JUST STOP. Volunteer for a political campaign, volunteer helping other kids get into the ivy league schools you jack off to, teach kids how to make facebook profile and pose on their good side, I don’t care – but do SOMETHING. Don’t post pictures constantly flaunting your own ignorance and chuckling about the privilege that affords you that ignorance.

    This is a real election, for a real office, for which this person will have to do a REAL JOB. The job that he does will directly effect other people’s lives, like people who actually LIVE in his district. This isn’t just a fun chance to dress up in red white and blue and stick your ass out in front of a sign, no matter whose dad is signing Kirk’s campaign checks. Never once has she posted ONE justification as to why she is voting for this man, or listed any of his policies with which she agrees, or even disagrees for that matter. For all she knows, he could be a trained ape. That picture of her with her “I Voted” sticker looks like one my mom took of me after she voted and they gave me a sticker too. When I was six.

    It is incredible to me that in a first-world country, someone with such extreme privilege can receive a top of the line education and essentially just waste it every single day of her life. In fact, it makes me *literally* sick to my stomach.

    Oh, and Dadsers? A “true” American would have some idea about what the fuck they were voting for. I mean, seriously.

    • ‘…can receive a top of the line education’

      CAN being the operative word here ~ being exposed to education doesn’t necessarily mean it took. You can lead Donkey to water but you can’t make her think.

    • Take Me With You Mom, that is fantastic! I always think that some of the great RBNS rants should be read by Julia, but she’s so lost in her own little world of narcissism, she wouldn’t get any of it. She’d just take pictures of herself reading it.

  14. Feingold – one of the few senators who actually gave a damn – lost. I actually cried. Then I came on here to see if Kirk won, because I was really hoping Toolia would have nothing to grasp onto with her mangy claws, at least election-wise. This bitch tooling it up around Republicans after declaring how liberal she is for the past decade is abhorrent. It’s one thing to be informed and to vote by candidate instead of by party line, but we all know she votes by affluence and influence only. How many more people like this are out there?

    I have so much rage and so much despair. =(

    • Hello, I live in Kentucky, we just elected a certifiably batshit insane person to be our FUCKING SENATOR.

      Joins you in rage & despair.

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