Post-Op Tranny Poses With Sheesh & Doctor Who Turned Her Weiner Inside-Out

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Joan Pauline, formerly John Paul, star linebacker at Indiana State, is absolutely pleased with her gender reassignment surgery, although she admits that she’ll never feel fully transitioned since nothing can be done about her gigantic hands. Unfortunately, she will soon realize that she sent men screaming into the night not because of the sight of her previously unmentioned cock shoved tightly inside her man spanx. No, as she will soon disocover, they were running away for reasons that were different entirely.

The good (and incredibly short!) doctor should soon expect a mascara-smeared, hormonal “woman” in his examination room, to whom he’ll have to patiently explain that, although medical science can give her a brand spanking new ladycave, he unfortunately can’t give her a new personality.

95 COMMENTS

  1. Having seen her in person, Julie here is SHORT. I know she’s wearing big shoes but this guy’s gotta be tiny.

  2. First impressions:

    -Man, is that a JEANS ROMPER?

    -Love how the Getty logo is strategically placed on the crotch area (Hi jeans romper/Herve Leger wiener!)

    -That is one short dude

    -Shee looks about forty

  3. There is nothing right about her chestical region. And I’m not body snarking, I’m bad dress snarking. But she looks boobless.

      • Agreed – this dress doesn’t fit in the chest and her, uh, penile area is ineffably crinkly too. Um, er, oops…

        Love that she’s jumped on the Herve Leger bandwagon a full year or so after they stopped being fashionable. I accidentally wandered into the store on Rodeo Drive recently and the only people in there were two loud Beverly Hills housewives with spindly arms and purse dogs… DARE TO DREAM, Donkerella!

  4. either this was taken at EXACTLY the right angle, or she is actually looking quite thin here.

    also that dude must be, what? ‘5″3?. ugh, short men.

  5. Julia, eat something. You look like you’ve been starving yourself. Not a good photo.

    Same to you, Katrina (re. the photos from earlier).

    Why do you two need to look like the models? And do you really want to? Been seeing the twigs in the FW photos and it makes me want to vom in the shower.

    It gets said here over and over again: Eat normally. Exercise regularly (and you don’t need to do it like Mare Mare…take long walks for Chrissake). It’s not complicated. You’d both look more attractive than you do in the FW shots you seem so proud of. Trust.

      • Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues

        Skinny flabby. Not fat, but totally untoned. Bad health habits catching up with her age. And it ain’t gonna get better.

      • Her arms and legs have no tone whatsoever. The pelts make her head look huge and in the process of sucking in her stomach she loses her neck.

  6. /deep breath

    I’m wondering if we could knock it off with the tranny jokes. Not really accurate, in my honest opinion, and not funny for any other reason.

    It’s community that still faces some pretty severe battles within the Bi/Gay/Lesbian community, let alone the general population, and they don’t need to be allied, even in jest, to a person you happen to find physically unattractive. (Because, hey, all trannies = manhands! hahahaha!*)

    *I know you guys don’t actually think this way. So why act like you do?**

    **sorry to get all earnest/sensitive/butthurt like this but it is an issue I have some experience with.***

    ****Back to your regularly scheduled program of cuntishness from me

    • Don’t get me wrong. I love my trannies and drag queens. While you may not like the insult, it’s really a comment on how Julia is so desperate to embrace femininity and her female sexuality, and, yet, there is somehow always something off about it.

    • I have to support RRR here. I am down with sarcasm, irony, what have you. This post, however, just comes across as really mean. Julia is ugly, we get it. But to spend so much time on the ‘tranny’ angle, etc., mmm, something is off for me too. I think it’s possible to say the same things without degrading another group.

      Probably the fact i personally know/count among my friends those in the already very small trans community who still really suffer/struggle to find acceptance — even within the VERY accepting communities i find myself working in and around. I can only imagine the hell of the mainstreamers….

      /earnest pleas

      So! Julie’s knees need a work out — bitch needs to walk/take the stairs to sort that out.

    • I don’t know – I think JP’s in the clear. Part of acceptance comes through levity and comfort and familiarity, as well as recognition of diversity within that community. This isn’t an attack on transwomen, this is a comment on a biological (minus injectables+pelts) female who applies her conception of femininity with a paint roller, which comes off as a trans gone wrong. Transwomen I know wouldn’t take issue with that. But then, they know femininity better than all of us combined.

      • But the basic argument is that JA’s doing femininity wrong or unnaturally and the end result is comparable to a transwoman. I can’t imagine how that isn’t insulting to the trans community.

    • Transvestites wear a shit-load of make-up & dress in a manner associated w/ the opposite sex ~ Donkeys are domesticated asses ~ Julia Allison is a loud, braying ass who who wears a shit-load of make-up & dresses in a manner associated w/ ‘tweens.

      RE: Body Snark: If & when I toss some around, yeah, it generates bad Karma for myself & I’ll have to deal w/ that, but what I can’t & won’t take responsibility for is anyone’s individual reaction to something that I never directed to them in the first place.

      When on a snark site dishing it out, can anyone really justify playing the thin-skin card? In the words of that immortal tranny-donkey:
      DON’T TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY!

      • Well said, Donkadelphia. The “I’m offended on behalf of (fill in the blank)” bullshit gets old on a snark site.

      • But isn’t the point to snark on JA, not on the trans community? I don’t see how one translates into the other.

    • It’s offensive to transsexuals in that they are being compared to Julia Bogger. No one, ever, ever would want to be compared to that hot mess. I’m offended that Julia and I share the same planet.

    • The word “tranny” makes me flinch a little inside. It’s loaded. It’s lazy. We can do better. And we’re one of the better snark sites. This is not 4chan. Thank Dog.

  7. What’s sad is that this is Julia at her happiest; being photographed with full hair & make-up at an event that (on paper) looks impressive. These Getty Images are her raison d’etre. If she could get snapped and captioned by a Getty photog for the rest of her life she’d be over the moon. Unfortunately for poor Jules, Fashion week is nearly over.

    The resulting crash is going to be mon-[snap]-u-[snap]-mental. Emphasis on the mental.

    • Right, I concur that I can’t wait for her to get back to Chicago and…what? Take a spin on her tacky bike to the pancake house? Visit the Fat Melmans? Now that she’s admitted the Oprah thing aint happening, it’s going to be DELICIOUS to see her scramble to look busy back home OR to watch her couch crashing attempts in Boston, San Fran, and L.A. blow up in her face. We already know Shannon Elizabeth has no room at the Inn–I suspect Randi, CD, and Britt and Allie will also cross their arms and direct her to the nearest stable.

    • Yeah, thought of this, too; this is really her only week of the year when she has a chance to shine. Now what is she going to do?

  8. ugh i just CANNOT with the hideous claire’s costume jewelry with the sleek bandage dress. she couldn’t be less fashionable. and STILL with those wood-putty nails!!

    • The nail color is horrid. Why not go with something more neutral-ish since you’ll be wearing quite a number of dresses? Don’t get it.

      • But, but, the khaki shades are the totally NOW thing in the world of nail color! Who cares if it *literally* looks like shit?

      • Yeah, it looks like shit ~ gotta wonder if something wasn’t lost in translation ~ ‘caca’ has evolved to ‘khacki’ now?

  9. Her hair looks terrible. Just terrible, like the nylon hair on an old, beat-up Barbie doll. Donks, I know you read here! Take the RBNS group consensus and get those pelts the fuck out of your head. They are aging you and look cheap.

  10. http://twitpic.com/2okdke

    Oh yes she did!! Posted her looking next to Swish who looks both fatter and uglier than Julia

    Julia, I dig your body even in all its unhealthiest habits, but your bent knee doesn’t help slim your leg. You’re welcome.

    • What is the hands splayed out behind her thing?! What. is. it.

      I have the brayge this morning.

    • Sheesh is looking downright FRUMPY this fashion week. Which, as a woman of 37, i don’t mind!

      What i mind is her fucking blue steel bitch face. That i mind, it’s as horrid a blue steel as ever there was.

    • I burst out laughing when I saw that….wow.

      Read Cathy Horn in the NYT from Tues. She goes on about
      how OVER-EXPOSED the whole hoopla-palooza is. It’s a fright
      and our darling Julie is only ONE of the poster-ladies.

      • seriously, I’m honestly not one to poke fun at fashion b/c I know nothing about it. I know what kinda sorta works on me (thx to RBNS for making me throw out any too short skirts! servicey) but the coverage is out of control. Two words: who cares?

        Imagine an alien coming to our planet and seeing FW. The holier than thous, the tall ugly models in outlandish clothes whom we exalt as pinnacles of “beauty” & who therefore are better than the fugs & we reward with $$$$ and accolades and feed their manical egos.

        I was waiting for something much more profound to come out of “Anna Wintour’s” mouth in Devil Wears Prada when she goes on about the impact of the fashion world on the rest of the plebes, like how a color makes or breaks the economy of an entire third world country (but madam, you said blue was the big color this season! every farmer grew cyanobacteria! we’re ruined!)

        Sigh for the human race.

    • With celery sticks disease she can only eat vegetable packs from the grocery store so she’ll be skinny FOREVER!

  11. Bitch, please stop comparing yourself to Kim Kardashian. KK is fit, toned and has an athletic, shapely ass. Julia is flabby and out of shape and has a cottage cheese ass. Even when she’s squeezed into a sausage casing, you can still tell she is – as Sue Sylvester says – “skinny fat.” Just look at her weird lumpy legs.

    Also? TOSS THOSE NASTY, DIRTY FAKE DESIGNER SHOES IN THE GARBAGE, YOU TRASHY HICK!! Even when she tries to look put together, she fails miserably. Ugh. What a loser.

    • The Kardashian comparisons engrage me. Yes, Julia, your a few pounds overweight. That doesn’t mean you have the same body as the ‘more than a size 4’ celeb of the moment. KK has a great body, works out, eats solid food, has an active lifestyle that involves leaving the house, etc. She also is ‘curvy’ all over, Julia is a natural pear shape who spent 3 straight years sitting on her ass, eating cupcakes, and drinking sugar water. She has a wide, flabby, spread out ass. Sure, it’s “big”, but it’s not firm, tight, toned, perky. It’s called… BEING A FAT ASS. And that’s fine, if she just realized she’s some average schlub

    • The Kardashian comparisons engrage me. Yes, Julia, your a few pounds overweight. That doesn’t mean you have the same body as the ‘more than a size 4’ celeb of the moment. KK has a great body, works out, eats solid food, has an active lifestyle that involves leaving the house, etc. She also is ‘curvy’ all over, Julia is a natural pear shape who spent 3 straight years sitting on her ass, eating cupcakes, and drinking sugar water. She has a wide, flabby, spread out ass. Sure, it’s “big”, but it’s not firm, tight, toned, perky. It’s called… BEING A FAT ASS. And that’s fine, if she just realized she’s some average schlub with a plain jane body, but when she tries to imply she’s some sex godess it makes me want to smack the botox out of her.

  12. I love that she’s only posting pics of her and Katrina together when Katrina looks absolutely horrible.

  13. I don’t know guys, her body looks fantastic here. I want to enroll in the Julia Allison school of hitting the right photo angle.

    • Agreed, her sartorial choices in frocks has shown some definite improvment of late, more age appropriate, flattering to her perfectly fine figure. Maybe she’s taking some advice from the shoppe keepers.
      Lol on the photo angles. Partypants once posted here with a selection of JABa-essque fauxtos and so I decided to try it. Contorted in my bathroom mirror, shoulders front, hips twisted back, and I too, looked tiny and cute with a jutting clavicle. Also, I do have a good side (and slight wonk eye)! It works!

  14. Isn’t she wearing one of those spanx rubber girdle things? Those instruments of torture make me vomit in the shower and are major boner killers.
    Yuck.

  15. Blue surgical wrap dress, nude hoof covers, eggplant-diarrhea fingernail polish, black jewelry?! Did she somehow think these photos would be black and white?

    Any self-respecting tranny can coordinate an outfit a million times better than that.

  16. My favorite part of this post is the title. It gets cut off and I keep thinking she is posing with “Doctor Who.”

  17. “Tonight it hit me: I LOVE what I do. Although I’ve complained in the past about Fashion Week, I’m so honored to be a part of it. Awww.”

    First, you are not really “doing” anything at FWNY except flaunting yourself for no reason. You’re engaged in the media equivalent of Playing House — pretending, but producing nothing. (BTW — Still waiting on NY Nonstop, Jetblue/Citybuzz, Wetpaint and Livestream on Facebook! It’s all in the queue, right?) Second, you are not “part of it” except in the way a parasite is “part” of a host. Megafail. Give it up.

  18. The blinking! And the arm flab. And that pooch under her chin. And her use of the word “guido.” She is so not cute.

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