Mulia Mallison Is Holding a Dog


Julia Allison, whose expirashe date is fast approaching, feel the need to show this photographia to the universe. I am not going to say anything means about her calves.

With my little bro and dog Langdon

Remember when she use to have that other Lilly dog? HAHAHAHA. That was good one.


  1. I’m starting to believe if Britt Britt started a blog, he would be as insufferable as his sister. Nobody can be that big of an enabling tool without being guilty of some of the same behaviour.

    • How is he being an enabling tool, exactly?

      Sorry, it is very difficult for a sibling to exercise life-changing control over a person, legally, financially or otherwise.

      I would imagine he has said to her everything and anything he can and that’s the extent of it. He could cut her out of his life, but for various reasons I imagine he’s not that keen on doing so.

      • Whenever I think of Britt, I think of
        , imagining him shaking his head, exhaling a soft chortle and unconsciously rolling his eyes as he hits send.

      • I think of the Park City Gondola lip dub and then I realize no one tells her she’s making a fool of herself. Not to mention a fool of them.

      • When i think of that gondola lip dub, i think of her father, and think, “what a fucking useless eunuch.

        Britt looks angry and the father is looking on with approval of that hideous lunacy.

        Fuck the parents is what i say.

        Britt is just going with the flow for the sake of keeping peace with the olds.

    • i have to disagree – ive known a few people that had problematic siblings ranging from serious addictions or a serious lack and had parents that enabled. unfortunately siblings arent dealt a great hand – they have no leverage over siblings and if enabling parents are part of the picture, there’s nothing they can do.

    • JP,

      I’m sure your source is good, but seriously, if he’s that repulsed and he knows that these pics are heading to the internet, why put up with it? Walk out of the frame, tell her that nothing goes online, whatever, cut the shit and keep me out of your insane asylum. I don’t see that happening with Bro Britt-douche.

      • I think the family dynamic is such that any action like this on his part would hurt his relationship with his parents, particularly his mother. He really can;t change her–the only thing he can do is fuck up the whole situation for himself (for which he will be blamed). His best short-term solution is to let Julia have her crazy days and hope she snaps out of it in the future.

        So no, I do not see him as a douche.

      • Also–perhaps from where he’s sitting (metaphorically) it doesn’t really matter that much to him. He sounds like he’s on his way to a solid position in the field of his choosing, he has a lovely new wife and he’s dealing with the family situation the least non-offensive way anyone could. Perhaps this website and others like it simply don’t crop up on his internal radar very often.

        My first choice for people who have never heard of NS (and thus never heard of RBNS)–Harvard scientists.

        “Vost is dost ‘poofy?’ Getting back to der problem of solving of der black hole if you please.”

      • From my experience in a family that puts the funk in dysfunktional, I can speculate why he might not “Walk out of the frame, tell her that nothing goes online, whatever.” Doing this opens him up to accusations of “making a scene over nothing” or impeding Julia’s lifecasting ambitions, i.e. damaging whatever career she has led her family to believe she’s pursuing.

        What Julia is doing is irritating, but not aggressive or outrageously beyond the scope of normal. Lots of people have blogs; most people with internet access have family photos online. Taking pictures with your brother after church is not a confrontational act. Refusing to be photographed or removing himself from a family gathering would, however, mark Britt as the instigator of an openly hostile interaction (as opposed to Julia’s interactions, which are at worst smilingly intrusive.)

      • Very true, Mini. I can agree 100% as someone who also comes from a dysfunctional family, and whose middle sister is a total nightmare of a person (who can’t get her shit together, no matter how much she has been lectured).

    • My sister is an obnoxious, crazy bitch and I tried to help her repeatedly before finally washing my hands of her.

      My parents continue to believe she’s gorgeous and amazing, though she’s never worked a day in her life and truly believes that everyone who could possibly dislike her (especially other women) are jealous haters. So I’m prepared to give Britton a pass.

      • He’s home this time for a friend’s wedding, which is FAR more normal a reason to travel to your home city than, I dunno, just not having a job.

  2. Thank God she is sitting in the pink chair and he is sitting in the blue chair, otherwise I would be tots confused about their genders.

    • agreed! also: plastic adirondack chairs…i haz these, and i’m a poor, living in the ny suburbs. i tots thought the baughers would have the classy wooden ones.

      ugh, the dog thing. i can’t even comment on it. i’ve said it all elsewhere. i just wish she’d fucking own up.

      • I wasn’t going to say anything about the chairs being plastic since so many have them, but you are right – they supposedly have all of this money, yet plastic chairs IN BRIGHT PASTEL COLORS. Okay, I feel better.

      • I haz these and I’m a rich.


        Not in day-glo pastels however. Great Aunt Esme was willing to go so far and no further.

      • I THOUGHT they were plastic – is that some kind of post-modern thing?
        My mom keeps threatening to get (wood) adirondack chairs for the beach house and I’m constantly keep her at bay – they’re kind of a pet peeve of mine.

      • Incidentally, MY mom hates plastic chairs so badly, they’re driving her literally (yeah, I went there) mad. I estimate she hates plastic chairs almost half as much as I hate Green Day, and I hate Green Day so much that a vein just popped out in my temple as I typed their name.

      • To Jordache: they are really quite comfortable and durable. And I am a great admirer of the classic Adirondack style, which has a direct relationship to the craftsman movement, Greene & Greene and certain projects by Frank Lloyd Wright.

    • Her marginalized depiction of her grandfather makes me sad, especially in light of all the other family member bray cray. That said, it’s nice that Britt & Allie’s wedding apparently has give way to some family healing with Moneybags.
      I miss my grandparents all the time and Julia’s fortunate to still have some.

  3. The body snarking is stupid; it’s an issue that many have little control over, and therefore you should just stop.

    • Can I snark on her face then? She’s looking more Michael Jackson’y then ever now, and that. fucking. hair.

    • There is sooooo much besides her appearance to rag on her for — starting and ending witn being a total cunt.

      That said, nobody would be snarking on her body if she hadn’t made such a big deal about it, and if she hadn’t spent the past several years acting like she’s allergic to the physically imperfect. It’s not just the body — it’s the vile personality that comes with it. She’s got the deformities she deserves.

      • The body snarling thing is pretty upsetting actually. I hear the argument that jfa has made obnoxious comments in the past about heavier women, or that she is fair game bc she focuses so much on looks and expiry dates. But I’m less concerned about the effect this has on jfa, and more on younger women who may come here and see a picture of julia that is being picked apart (and let’s face it she is not a big girl) and feel horrible. There is no context that makes body snarking okay and all it ever does is perpetuate the idea that it is an okay way to criticize a woman’s value. Christ, I’m a straight dude and I find it nauseating on here – how do you cat ladies stand for it? Whether we like it or not jfa has many young women/girls who read her Tumblr and lots of them likely find their way here – what message do you want them to see. And jp I love your writing, but this is one area where I get especially uncomfortable seeing a man wade into this area.

      • If a girl is going to get upset because Julia Allison’s looks get picked on, she has problems that have nothing to do with this blog. Yeesh.

      • You don’t think that has an impact on a not insignificant number of young women? This is a little close for me bc of what I do, but seeing the effects of such media junk regularly it is hard not to see perpetuating this stuff as horrible. I wasnt intending my reply to be aimed at you pilot, it was more of a general observation that has been irking me for awhile. It just feels cheap and below what this site offers most other Times.

      • DSM, I know lots of people attribute lots of horrible emotional problems in females to what those females see in magazines and other pop culture. I just find that insulting to women. I say this as someone who has battled an eating disorder since time immemorial and probably always will. The roots are a lot closer to home than the cover of Vogue.

        Beautiful people, thank God, aren’t going to go away. Better to teach girls and women to be realistic than to wish away attractiveness in others.

      • tl; don’t read:

        Pilot, I have no experience with an eating disorder, so I accept the fact that I don’t really know what I’m talking about here, and I absolutely believe what you’re saying about the problems being considerably deeper than “beauty and body image in the media”, but I have to say I think I do see DSM’s point here nonetheless. The way I understand it, DSM doesn’t have a problem with beautiful / skinny (not the same thing, obviously) people appearing on magazine covers, he just doesn’t like it when people call those who aren’t clinically overweight “fat” and mock them for that. And for the record, I certainly don’t consider JA fat in any sense of the word, and I CAN see how a brainwashed 12 year old could read our funny snark here in a way that would further disarrange her already confused mind. Which is definitely NOT to say that we should stop with our snark or tone it down or anything, because the purpose of this site really isn’t to promote a “healthy body image” or “fight the anorexia-promoting media”; AND the Donk absolutely deserves the ridicule she gets here. Making fun of her stumpy legs is VERY different from taking pictures of random stumpy-legged people on the street and making fun of them online, and I would hope that most readers, including 12 year olds, understand that. I just see where DSM’s coming from, is all.

      • Body snarking is body snarking, and I don’t see a difference whether it’s someone who lives in the limelight or someone who hides in the shadows of their junior high. It’s low, it’s mean, and it makes the snarkers seem silly and without much else to say.

        Standards of beauty are – or should be – permeable. Who are any of you to say who is or isn’t beautiful?

      • Well, I’d say the illusion that we don’t have much else to say is promptly dispelled by a short look at the massive amounts of other things we say here. *shrug*

      • Helena, I see where DSM is coming from. I just find this instinct to protect girls very unhelpful (if well intentioned). Girls are much better served by getting real and growing a thick skin, not being wrapped in cotton wool.

        As for who we are to call anyone beautiful or not … It’s called the right to a viewpoint. Agree or disagree, but telling people to shut up about it isn’t terribly liberal.

      • Except that there’s an incredible amount of irony/hypocrisy in the way that “you” attack JA’s appearance. You hate that she’s vapid, you hate that she injects shit into her face – ok, but why? Presumably because you think it’s a silly thing for women to feel the need to do, to get a man, to get attention in society, whatever. But by taking stabs at her physical appearance, you’re feeding into the very mechanism that you chastise. It makes very little sense.

      • DSM – you can’t pick and choose which parts of julia snark are acceptable. i mean, don’t you think ragging on another woman to the extent that you rag on julia is in itself a poor message to send out to 12 year old girls reading this site? (if indeed any 12 year old girls are actually reading it). women, and girls for that matter, have alot of insecurities stemming from their personalities – not just their looks.

      • Gizelle, I see a sharp divide Bw calling someone out on their behavior (which I have witnessed in person and heard of how it was done to friends) and calling someone out on their appearance. Pretty obvious difference if you ask me – hey kids don’t act like this vapid and callous person vs. Hey look at her cankles. If only for cred and buffer against the haters claims. But whatevs, my shift as internet police for a day is over…

      • I’m torn. I think it’s wrong generally to snark on women’s bodies, but I admit I am no holds barred when it comes to men’s bodies. I don’t think Julia has anything to be worried about/ashamed of in the body department, yet I could not describe Tucker Max as anything but hideous. And he probably is not that much more “deficient” than Julia.

        I have to cop to feeling–maybe this is wrong–that men hold so many cards in the “Standards of Beauty” dept. that I am always on the side of any woman and against any man right from the get-go.

        I would point out that Julia cleaves to these toxic standards, but does so as a person demeaned by them (whether she realizes it or not–and plenty of women not her are in the same position).

      • My two cents is, I’m a card-carrying feminist, and generally I think snarking on someone’s appearance is cheap. But she brought it on her damn self for being so superficial and offering NOTHING but her tits for YEARS. I mean for YEARS she was forever on Gawker in the same pigeon-toed, look at my big tits pose. If that is all you are presenting to the world, be prepared to be judged on it. It’s not like we are snarking on some humanitarian or someone with a semblance of decency here. We’re snarking on a complete and utter superficial asshole who made her whole MO about how fucking hot she is.

    • But everyone has control over the clothes they wear and the photos they post on the internet and the careers they choose. She’s pursuing a career as a tv personality/fashion reporter/talk show host, and it’s ridiculous to suggest that her body, fashion sense, and ability to dress herself are off limits to scrutiny. Her appearance is literally the first thing that would be discussed in a casting meeting, and they’re not being mean, it’s just a fact of life in this business.

      The business she’s chosen, that is.

      • If it’s a fact of life in the business, then does that mean you condone it? I really cannot stand it when people defend their behavior by saying, “but they do it too!!” I mean, there is so much to criticize about this woman other than her appearance, and I really don’t see what is wrong with the photo posted.

        Is she shallow, mean, and vain? Probably, yes. But continuing on with the body snarking is just another form of mean, and it makes you look just as shallow and stupid.

      • Do I “condone” only hiring hot girls to play the role of “hot girl”? I condone the logic of it. SHE’S the one who posed for “headshots” in a Herve Leger bandage dress. She’s presenting herself as a hot piece of tail, and that means the hotness of her tail is up for discussion.

        If she doesn’t “condone” it, then she should get a fucking job.

      • I don’t really body snark except for those wonky legs which she should not be showing off, but I have to agree with this. She is endlessly presenting herself as a Hot Girl. How about the stupid Bad Girl Redhead shots with the legs up against the wall trying to look like a Vargas girl? She is endlessly posing for pointless fauxto shoots that are aimed at making her appear as hot as possible. So when she then posts photos in which she makes it clear just how much Photoshopping goes on in those photos, and she in fact looks nothing like the woman in her fauxto shoots (accept for the hilarious black-and-white midget shots), then I understand why people point and laugh.

        They are laughing more at what a complete fraud she is, not that she’s got thick ankles or whatever the accusation might be.

      • Let’s not forget, she’s not only constantly (CONSTANTLY) posing as a hot girl, she’s also posing as a fashion expert. (You might have heard, she’s totally going to cover Fashion Week and has 84,583 invites to prove it?) A fashion expert who fails to understand some extremely basic style rules, like “do NOT show off your worst features unless you absolutely have to”; and she certainly doesn’t have to. No one is forcing her to post billions of stupidly styled self-portraits or “photoshoots” online.

    • What’s stupid, Dr. Bobbi’s Botox, is that Julia Allison has made it her life’s work to post endless pictures of herself posing in ways that can only be interpreted as “I AM HOT AS HELL!” If someone’s going to put herself out there in the manic, demented way that she does, begging for everyone to comment on how great she looks, she’s bound to get some push-back. I’m not a big fan of body-snarking but when it comes to Julia, she’s an unusually nasty person, so I couldn’t care less.

    • She spends so much time trying to hide parts, trick people’s eyes, and change things superficially. It’s only a matter of time before the visual truth comes out, and in those instances, of course people are going to revel in uncovering the truth. It’s like pointing out that the emperor is naked.

      • Arax is skinny-fat too. On her blog, she has pictures of herself hiding behind her bf so you can’t see her flabby parts.

      • You guys tell her to cover her flaws, then say you revel in pointing out her tricks. Listen, some people here want to body snark, but they seem to also want to also act like body snarking is defensible. This doesn’t make any sense. Just say “I’m not much of a feminist in this respect, but oh well, this is fun and I want to do it.” What’s with all the handwringing justifications?

        IamLA, you know that Dr. Bobbi’s etc. wasn’t asking if you condoned casting hot girls for the role of hot girl. She was asking if you condone having hosting jobs go only to certain types of women. You apparently ARE LA, so don’t you know dozens of women who’re made up and giving come hither looks in their headshots, despite not being as hot as possible?

      • But that’s an insane question. That’s like asking whether I condone modeling agencies only signing tall, skinny teenagers. The job is to be a human coat hanger. That’s the job, and the donkey is objectively too old, fat, and short to do that job. “Hot girl on tv” is a job that’s kind of like modeling but you also have to talk and the ratings and Q scores dictate whether you get fired or not.

        There are tons of women here who aren’t as hot as possible, and they’re called actresses or writers or producers or executives, and the successful ones have talent and a strong work ethic.

        And there are plenty of hot girls with no talent, and they get hired to be hot girls. Julia’s not talented enough to be the former and not hot enough to be the latter. It isn’t snarking to give a realistic assessment of her chances of succeeding at her chosen profession.

      • Maybe it’s not an insane question so much as a naive question. It would be nice if hot girls didn’t boost ratings, but they do. If the execs decide a hot girl will draw the extra viewers that will make the show profitable, moral outrage is pointless.

        And if she doesn’t want to be measured with that yardstick, then she should choose any other career on the planet except the one she’s chosen.

      • XX: The solution for her is really simple, though. She should stop posting gazillions of photos of herself online. If she does a fauxto shoot, she doesn’t need to plaster the photos all over the Internet via her blog, her Twitter and her public Facebook account. If she takes photos of herself “without makeup” (as if, by the way) she doesn’t need to post them all over the place either so that someone, somewhere will tell her she looks hot without makeup.

        She can just share those photos with close friends and family members, like a normal human being does, and with potential employers (again, as if) if she’s so desperate for the validation.

        That to me would be the sane thing to do.

        But she won’t stop posting photos of herself because

        a. She’s trying to land a man
        b. She therefore needs to appear as hot and successful as possible. Because that’s all she thinks it’s about, really. Looks and status.

      • I have a friend who is bow-legged. Julia’s legs really bother me for some reason, but my friend’s never have. She’s nice, smart, beautiful, and altruistic. Nobody notices her legs, because there are so many positive things to say about her.

        I can’t think of one positive thing to say about Julia. I don’t think she’s evil or anything, but I can’t find any virtues in her. What you see with her is what you get, so her looks are tied to her person. (That’s the way she wanted it, btw, except it didn’t turn out the way she planned.) That’s unfortunate, but thankfully it’s not true of most people.

      • This is kind of how I feel about her getting called “fat”, too. I know quite a few women who are considerably heavier than Julia, and they don’t even have to be my friends or awesome human beings or anything, but if they’re normal enough not to infest the internet with myriads of their “OMG hawt” pictures, if they’re normal enough to care for other people beside themselves, if they’re normal enough to have some sort of knowledge and/or a job and/or a life that provides them with some interesting topics of conversation (hah!) and if they’re normal enough not to dress like they drink nine pints of absinthe every time before they open their closet, then the question of their weight NEVER becomes a factor in my opinion on them.

        I’m NOT someone who claims that it’s ONLY the inside what counts or anything, but there are extremes, and JA is one IMO.

      • Fine, but if she has all these other ugly attributes that make her an ugly person, aside from the physical, then attack those. Picking on a person’s physical attributes lends to little credibility and makes those snarking look like insecure assholes.

      • Again, there’s PLENTY of criticism directed at her character flaws around here, much more than snarking on her body IMO.

        Also, I disagree about the “insecure assholes” thing. In my experience, it’s entirely possible to be very happy with your own appearance and still laugh at someone else’s, for a variety of reasons. So while I may or may not agree with a particular comment and I may or may not find it entertaining or enjoyable, it never crossed my mind that the person making fun of someone’s hair or legs must hate their own hair or legs.

      • Okay, then they’re just assholes. It’s one thing to make fun of someone based on something they can change, it’s another to make fun of someone based on immutable characteristics.

        I mean, if you want people to judge you based on how you look over how you treat others, then fine. That’s your prerogative, and good luck with it. That’s why I cannot get behind this site anymore. The hypocrisy is ridiculous.

        I’ve worked for the last ten years so that people will hopefully take me seriously as a female professional and someone who is educated and who holds a number of attributes other than my appearance — not judge me based on how I look (which I don’t think is terrible) — and it’s shit like this, by WOMEN no less, who ruin it for others.

      • I haven’t spent that much time here yet, but in my opinion, no one here is judging JA based on her looks OVER how she treats others. No one would care about her less-than-perfect calves if she didn’t treat others the way she does. The way she treats others is THE reason this site exists. I understand that this may not be clear from the “she’s fat now” comments, but I do believe it’s perfectly obvious to everyone who reads here for more than a couple of minutes. I also understand you probably have more experience with this site than I do, so your opinion may very well be more valid than mine. *shrug* I just say, I do agree with your point, I just don’t think it’s entirely relevant to the vast majority of RBNS content.

    • I am a bit torn on this one — there are points from both sides i agree with. I think full on body snarking, a la “she is fat” is fucking bullshit. She is not fat to any extent, she is not ‘chubby’ ‘thick’ or ‘pudgy’ (despite being really short with oddly proportioned limbs), for an average to moderately attractive woman getting by on hard work, talent and brains. Which is a fucking admirable role! We need more, not less of these.

      However, here’s the thing, here’s the thing, she markets herself as a smoking hot beauty queen who knows about fashion.

      This is where the wheels come off for me.

      I agree with the logic of casting smoking hot girls to play the role of hot girl. There is a fact based approach to reality here that one cannot nor should not ignore. And there are a lot more roles out there to play, but Julie is trying to play a role she is not suited to at all. The tv hot girl is not the IRL hot girl and she fails to understand this. Also, brains and a personality that don’t suck are also hot, but that’s kind of a digression.

      But day after day she obsessively tries to fill this role she is miscast for, and fails. And when this is being pointed out, i have no problem with the nitpicking her of appearance/fashion fail, as it relates to this specific failure — especially when this criticism focuses on the man made problems like her failure to sleep, the unnecessary plastic surgery and contortionist bullshit she enacts.

      But it does cross a line with certain commenters and with certain posts: “She is fat now,” “She is chunky/thick/fill in the blank,” “She’s a size 10” etc, etc, because is super fucked up and wrong — mostly because it is not rooted in fact and as hyperbole is just not necessary when you are dealing with a true asshole with so much more to pick on.

      For tv, her looks are average and she needs to work at having actual skill, professionalism and above all, content. She needs something to bring to the table other than her looks, because they are only average for tv presenter. Maria Menuonous is an example of what Julie is trying to be and Julie isn’t even close to MM.

      So yeah, i guess we all have different lines. For me it is when the lines of reality blur claims are made that aren’t true, funny, or necessary, such as her weight. Poke holes in the fake beauty queen shtick all you like is fair game.

      • @ failure: I mostly agree with you (see my incoherent post above), but here’s one more thing to ponder (in that thick numbskull of mine anyway): the woman is so in love with herself, so dumb and so totally driven by the most superficial and distorted “media image”, the “she’s fat now” type of criticism may very well be the only one that registers on her dumbass radar. Not that our goal should be to “get to her”, but it just makes sense to insult a stupid person with stupidity, in a way.

        I’d say that while she certainly isn’t fat by American (or European) standards, she sure as hell isn’t as thin as she a) thinks she is, and b) as she dresses. AND consider, pretending that she’s a) unbelievably hot and b) ineffably dressed is about the only thing she does. So, saying that she’s fat is sort of a short way of saying what a total tool she is for thinking / doing a) and b)…. ONLINE, pretending to be a “tech bidness woman / founder / trailblazer.” IMO, of course.

      • While i agree that her level of self love and delusion is truly shocking, i think there are other lines of addressing these that are a) a lot more funny to the reader of this website (see every post by Jacy for this) and b) probably hit home more.

        Her image of herself as wealthy player is just as important to her as being ‘hot’ — otherwise she wouldn’t lie so damn much. Calling her out on her lies, falsehoods and other smoke and mirrors type of bullshit is much better gossip, and gossip is much more fun to chew on and speculate over than a person’s size.

        As for the rest of her issues with dressing herself, in one’s late 20s weight gets put on if you aren’t active. The adjustment period can take some time to figure out. Add a great degree of self delusion and wow, that will take some time to sort out.

        Her ego is actually very fragile (those who act like a bull in a china shop are usually as fragile as the china, not the bull), and she just can’t accept the changes she sees / accept that she has flashed in the pan. This effects ALL ASPECTS of her life.

        I am just saying she fails so hard, all the time, puts it online, ‘she is fat’ is really beneath the material actually provided. And i am a critic of her looks — i call her average every chance i get. To someone like her, this is a cruel blow.

        PS. SALAD DAYS. Christ on a Bike (TM Julia’s Fat Ass) this bitch calls herself a ‘writer’! LIU.

      • @ Helena, Of course there are always exceptions. Like the Ballerina Costume of Tear Stained Cheeks: Faint Smile on the Outside, Weeping on the Inside. Those thighs were the size of tree trunks and really did not need to put in public or online. She did not need to dress like a crazy ballerina in skin tight everything in a desperate attempt to show off what? So i should probably add that caveat to my statements about body snark.

        But really, i think i fall more inline with IamLA’s comments about casting the most, with a side of calling her fat is a) incorrect and b) not needed mostly because c) she is just such an epic failure in everything she does and then proceeds to spew online. For me it scrapes the bottom of the barrel, and needlessly so.

        [NB: I am ormerly someproblems, failure to press the learn button and others i have forgotten, now Salad Days]

      • I understand, and I really am kind of spinelessly sitting on the fence here. I detest the bitch and the way she presents herself (and it’s certainly not because she doesn’t meet my personal standard of beauty) to the extent that I have no problem with people snarking on pretty much any aspect of her “online personality” *snort* plus I believe that if there ever was anyone begging to be criticized for (BESIDE other things) their looks, it’s her; but at the same time, I agree that disparaging the horrible / idiotic things she DOES tends to be even more fun.

        Either way, I love your current handle.

    • I don’t hate her because she is fat; she is fat because I hate her.

      I have no qualms with tearing down a complete fucking narcissist. Were she not a woman who fixates endlessly on the superficial, who constantly takes and posts pictures of herself on line, and who is completely deluded into believing that she is entitled to the fairytale life she has constructed in her brain, I wouldn’t waste my time.

      But she isn’t. She is a fucking human cesspool who is fully deserving of my derision, and almost any criticism or crack that comes her way. Which is good, because this shit is funny.

    • I used to have problems like you… But then I realized that JULIA DOES THE SAME THING.

      Do unto others babe… and we’re doing unto Julia like she does unto others.

  4. I just want to point out that Mule-ia is the best nickname for a donkey. Nice one, Russian girl. I just say.

      • Gutfeld was pointing out that in the entire history of Red Eye, they’ve only ever had one guest bad enough/vile enough that they banned her. He didn’t want to name names, but he dropped a hint: it rhymes with “Mule-ia Mallison”.

        This led many to believe that Gutfeld reads here or is aware of this site and also that the producers over there consider Julia a liar. Because they didn’t believe an excuse she gave for being late/absent for a taping. She said her flight was delayed and the flight was on time. In fact, Julia had posted blog content of herself being on a date when she was supposed to be heading to the show to tape.

        Hilarious stuff, really. This story should be common knowledge among RBNSers. I’m not sure why it hasn’t caught on more.

      • Midget Wrestler Legs, Thundercalves, She Are Drink, Delusions of Bradshaw, Mad Yoga Skillz, Super Saggers & Creepy Daddy Issues

        I’m pretty sure that she was banned from “Red Eye” a few years ago, even before her overall Fox New ban.

      • What Gutfield says in the clip is that she was never banned from RedEye, or Fox News for that matter. They were just appalled at her deceit and never called her again, because she knows nothing, brings nothing to the table and doesn’t evince a whit of professionalism, so why bother? Of course, JAB then spun that into “I was banned from Fox News!”, which is horseshit. Nobody cares enough about her to excommunicate her. They just stopped calling.

        Another thing about that clip is that even the Fox News TM blonde clone in the segment manages to say something genuinely funny. As opposed to blurting something completely unfunny and then appending “HAHA”, JAB style.

  5. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Mulia’s grandfather is 92 and her grandmother? 89! Old people, they’re so old. Can you believe it?

  6. It looks like a hank of her pelts is transmogrifying into a serpent, or perhaps and small chestnut arm, in order to strangle her and thereby release themselves from her bondage.

    • +1M points for use of transmogrification and double that for original, subtle body snark. Bravo, even if you do hate the kinders ; )

  7. A bit off-topic this morning, but where is Lilly? Really… haven’t seen a photo of her since erly August. Just Langdon. Where’s her dog?

  8. Dude, it looks like Britt finally got laid!! Congrats little bro.

    I still can’t believe she would just leave Lily. Parting with my dog for a few days when I go out of town for work makes me sad and anxious, and I leave him in great hands. Whenever I think there’s no way she could be as heartless, dumb and shallow as it seems she does something so completely uncaring. It’s sad really. Lily was probably the one soul who didn’t realize Julia was a useless jerk and she dumped her in some suburb with a frenemy who has been pregnant for 13 months.

  9. She says Britton looks “like a slug”. Bitch, fuck you and your passive-aggressive attempts to diminish the “little brother” who has achieved more than you EVER will.

      • Yes, those were the salad days!

        Thank you for the morning cackle, Julie!
        Cuz, yes, I’ve thought that precise thought on myriad occasions, darling!

        Her writing is sooo constipated.

      • It’s okay, everyone.
        Julia chose the shambles she’s living in.
        Because if she’s about anything she’s about selflessness and family.

      • I can’t even begin to comment on how wrong that post is. It has nothing to do with whatever she is talking about. She just realized for the first time that she is forced to be around a sick, ill individual and later, to take care of someone else for once (her parents). There is some other running theme I just can’t put my finger on. In any case, the tone of the post implicates that she is SO not ok with the situation.

      • Can someone please explain to this noob or direct me to an older post where the familial hairy times saw the light of day? The phrase keeps coming up and I love it, but I feel like a tard because I don’t know where it comes from.

      • Helena: You haven’t been around for the beauty that is Meghan Asha’s attempts to write. Julia’s writing is bad, Meghan’s is ten times worse. Misspellings, bad grammar, malapropism. The works. She’s just really, really dumb. Sometimes I would cry at the beauty of her simple, simple mind. Not really.
        ANYWAY, about a year ago she hammered out a hella long “State of Nonsociety” type post. Basically admitting that things between the girls (back then it was just Jules, Mare-Mare and Masha) were not so good. Somewhere is there she pronounced “the hairy times there were familial”. I think she was trying to say that the hard times with Donks and Mare-mare reminded her of her family? Which really says more about her family experience than anything else.
        Regardless, it was just so ridiculously nonsensical that of course it was taken up at once by the hater catladies.
        /End Scene

      • Oops.. lots of errors there. How Masha of me. Gawd, I miss that girl!
        I’ve also had a lot of wine. Hope you understood some of that.

      • God, this is so awesome. Thank you, Minnie and SS! Is English Meghan’s first language? (Keep in mind, it’s not my first language, so I’m necessarily missing nuances.)

    • Yep Britt is a slug but even so, Allie is clearly not suitable for him, as Jules felt she should point out to the whole world on twitter:

      juliaallison: Sitting talking w my parents, bro Britt & sister-in-law Allie – my mom’s trying to convince Allie camping is fun. Allie remains unconvinced.

      dalyn_smith: @juliaallison Is she more of an indoor girl

      juliaallison: @dalyn_smith – definitely!! Which is ironic bc my little brother was an Eagle Scout & once rode his bike Seattle to SF, camping at night!

      Julia is so nice, and she loves her little brother and her new sister-in-law!

      There’s a fuck camping joke in there somewhere.

      • Seriously…why point this out other than to undermine your sister-in-law? She, of course, could just be clueless as to the implications and just tweeting every bowel movement in her life per usual but we all know Julia Allison doesn’t do anything without an ulterior motive.

  10. Is that grandpa in the upper right? Can you imagine the way she brays at him like a re? When she’s not pretending he doesn’t exist?

  11. with all of her family-related posting as of late – the importance of, getting older, blah blah – it seems she’s setting up the foundation for her inevitable decision to stay in chicago, no?

  12. Someone has been digging around in her childhood closet. That skirt is at least 6 years old. I had the same one, but in white with black flowers. However, it did not make my legs look as thick as fire hydrants.

  13. ” I went into Bed, Bath & Beyond to get ONE KITCHEN SPONGE. I left w an enormous cart full of stuff I surely don’t need. Every freaking time! 3:12 PM Sep 4th via Echofon ”

    Dear Julia: You live a block away from Walgreen’s. Guess what Walgreen’s sells? SPONGES! You’d have to walk half a mile to the BB&B at State/Grand. A HALF MILE. We all know how you feel about that!

    Is it really that hard to just say, “Man, I had to buy a lot of stuff to make the condo feel like home” instead of this dumb “tee hee hee aren’t I cute and irresistible and umm, err, oops?” shit? I. Just. Kant.

    • How I wish a snake handlin’ preacher would have laid hands upon her and drove out the donkifying demons in the name of the Law-urd.
      (Momsers embraces Julie & Dadsers does backflips down the aisle as the African American choir breaks into song w/Nutty Granny Moneybags on the hammond organ)

  14. OK cat ladies and cat dudes, we just got a warning from WordPress about the “content” of this blog but I have no idea what it involves. Moanika??

    Will keep you posted.

    • this is probably her thinking on the matter:

      since julia’s life has collapsed into complete objective failure, and since the only people mentioning her are herself and us, therefore it’s this blog’s fault that her life has collapsed into complete objective failure since she herself is incapable of wrongdoing.

      therefore, if she shuts RBNS down, all the success, marriage and wealth that she rightfully “deserves” will be hers for the asking.

    • Lawyers. They are inevitable.

      If she’s on her way to reality tv fame, she really can’t afford to have this cite/sight up as her nr 1 google search result…?

      Good luck Jacy, hopefully you guys’ll be able to figure this out soon!

      • THIS.

        Maybe just play it safe and remove all MDM photos/mentions of her name? The night we discovered all those Julie pix on her site, she locked them down right away. She clearly doesn’t want to be associated with us in any way. I’d hate to think that some hack photographer could shut this site down.

      • Actually, people here did her a favour because no one should have THIS on their professional portfolio…

        Anyway, I’d also run an MDM cleanse and otherwise do as the rest of the world: never ever mention that hack again.

      • Dr. Gary, the mods HAVE done that. Nevertheless, someone always comes on here and mocks the photographer by her first name.

    • systematic bullying—- a la Orange-face-Kelly-Bensimon– Julie is trying to use that hot topic to get this site down.

    • How the hell can they warn you about the content but not specify WTF they are talking about?

    • I have no doubt whatsoever that Julia has been trying to have this site shut down from the get go. I’m kinda thinking we should start to have some sort of “plan B.” JA has more time on her hands and is more desperate/unhappy now than ever. She probably email bombs the admins constantly.

      • 1) everyone should book mark the URL for the chat site

        2) jp and jacy save the content from here so it could be put on (or another site) if needed

    • It’s gotta be the photog again. People really need to stop mentioning her name since she already shut down RBNS once.

    • Fashion Week is coming up. It could be Szish making sure all her ducks are in a row. She’s going to be broadcasting on NYN which is a NBC subsidiary even though she has a contract with CBS. That’s probably already shaky ground.

      • All I know is that suddenly all the comments from the person who was using the photographer’s name were in the trash, and I didn’t put them there, and they weren’t there a couple of hours ago. As soon as they were trashed, the warning disappeared.

        So — whoever it is who comments under the photographer’s name, please don’t. I have no problem with your comments but clearly she’s complained to WordPress and there’s some automated thing going on here, but when the warning is in place, we can’t post. So please change your user name or you are unwittingly shutting us down. Thanks!

  15. I think all JABs family posts etc.are to present her in a certain light, probs for Oprah. I hope she gets on that show because you know what reality shows have? Chat rooms.

    • There is no way she is prepared for what is coming if the Oprah thing happens. Oprah is not above the masses when it comes to a willingness to cut a bitch. Her instincts are killer, no two ways about it. Donkey beware!

      • Exactly! The Deluded Donkey will undoubtedly be super fucked if she lands a spot on the show. No way the Mighty Opes won’t be able to sniff out Julie’s inauthenticity and Julie will be set up to fall. HARD. You don’t cross Oprah’s Morality and no amount of ‘I’m nice’ is going to work on her.

        I am sure there are staffers who are keeping notes. That my father paid 150,000.00$ for my education and weee! look at me! will not be going over well with someone who is self made from a difficult background.

        Pass the popcorn, as they say.

  16. There are so many things she could be called out on if she takes it to reality tv level and tries to come off as “Woman Who Learned From Her Mistakes”. The one that would sink her fastest w the Oprah crowd? The cancer walk Julia shoes “I wanna pink tent” no show stuff. She put it out there and there it remains.

  17. Her brother has as much to do with her as my older sister has to do with me (nothing). We have NOTHING in common but we adore each other. This Britt conspiracy is stupid. End it. You love your sibling. (And will defend them, whether you agree with them or not, until the day you die.)

    Having said that, I will not comment on her calves (mine are smaller) or body type (men LOVE her body type because it screams I CAN BIRTH BIG CHILDREN!).

    I despise her for promoting “doing nothing” as living “differently”. Her ideology of “as long as I look cute I can make it” is old and damaging. You’re not cute anymore. Go away.

    • Eh. Have you seen him interact with her in the videos she posts? He doesn’t seem to like her very much. I doubt that he adores her very much at all.

    • Can I just say I very much dislike the people who criticize the way other people comment? The whole idea that if I say “Damn, Julia’s calves are wider than I am tall, yo baby yo baby yo baby yo” I am a terrible person, but if they say “Wow, I quite dislike how she is a lying layabout with poor taste in footwear” they should win an award for in depth analysis?

      It actually has kind of ruined this site/cite/sight for me over the last few months.

      I really think that if someone calling some other girl fat/ugly/thick thighed/whatever sends you into some sort of emotional tailspin, you may have some issues you need to work out for yourself. Do I think Julia is “fat”? No. Do I think that means no one dare comment on her appearance ever? No. She puts it out there, on her self edited blog, which is how she umm.. errr.. “earns her living”. When I hand in a project at work I get feedback too, some of it I don’t like to hear and some of it is just stupid and totally off base, but such is life.

      And I understand the arguement that this is some sort of huge problem in society and every girl should be praised as beautiful and flawless and perfectly formed or else she will develop severe emotional issues and eating disorders and humanity will be destroyed and we will be the cause, but I actually totally disagree. Some people are attractive, some are not, most are in the middle. Deal with it! Don’t like your thighs in a miniskirt? Buy some pants. Love them in a miniskirt? Knock yourself out, call of the ‘haters’ jealous, earn some free juice, and tell your parents you want your bedroom painted bubblegum pink when you move home in 5 years.

      • “Can I just say I very much dislike the people who criticize the way other people comment?”
        greatest opening to a comment ever award. This made me chuckle…

  18. HAHAHA RT @kissandtype: Dear Arax, Stop looking at apartments you can’t afford. Your boyfriend doesn’t want to live with you. Love, Reality

    What. A. Cunt. How is Arax’s tweet funny or deserving of a hahaha? Nice one, laughing at your sister-coworker.

    • Well, it is obvious that Arax was trying to be funny – though it does cut a bit close to the bone. Still, I didn’t think it was offensive, after all Arax wrote it.

      On the other hand, she decided to shove her head up the ass of some long-dormant connection she once had, probably angling for a job/angling for a pretext to start drive-by @-ing Loren Conrad on Twitter. What a gross tool. At this point, even if those long talks she writes about happened (….this is a hypothetical, just go with it), how could we possibly believe her? She has diluted her voice to point that her opinions are like homeopathic medicines, any kernel of a real thought or even passing opinion undetectable amid the gush. She is The Shill Who Cried ‘But I Really Like This.’

  19. “So go check out the book, or at least click here to watch the sort of amaze-ballz trailer (which is really just an amalgamation of clips from her photoshoot for the Lauren Conrad Style tome – but is nonetheless eminently watchable due to LC’s, well, undeniably delicious style).”


      • I KNOW.

        ‘Tome’ gives me a SERIOUS case of the stabbies. You just want to shake her and say, ‘it’s book, asshole. BOOK!’

        p.s. I just got my first ever bitch slap from WP, telling me I was posting ‘too fast’ and to ‘slow down’. Fuck OFF, wordpress.

    • Also, Lauren Conrad’s eyes on the cover of that book freak me out. Wayyyyy too intense, thanks.

      • She’s a designer now? Or something? I did love it when she went on that episode of My Life on the D-List to help Maggie design the drinking snuggie.

    • She doesn’t still consider herself a ‘writer’ or ‘journalist’ does she? Because SERIOUSLY? Her writing is AWFUL.

      Exhibit A: ‘amalgamation’
      Exhibit B: ‘tome’
      Exhibit C: ’eminently watchable’
      Exhibit D: ‘undeniably delicious’

      Jesus. Lord. Put the thesaurus DOWN. Word-y synonyms are NOT your friend, Julie.

  20. Regarding Lilly: I know that a lot has been said about her, and what a horrible pet owner Julia is. She’s better off with Lasagna. However, I just DON’T GET why Julia is okay with posting pictures of her parents dog Langdon without even addressing the disappearance of her own dog, who she has posted many, many pictures of in the past. She could have at least said “Lilly is going to stay with her Aunt Lasagna for awhile!” or something. It’s just disturbing.

    • PLL is awesome. Cute outfits, interiors and just enough Babysitter’s Club Mystery! to keep me hooked but no plot twists that envelope me. Great background noise and a lifesaver during hiatus/summer flu season.

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