Poofy: I am the sorry, fatty: SHUT IT!

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Two of the other models – they’re gorgeous (duh) so I’m intimidated.

So the one with the unfortunate middle section leave the Large Apple without a man friend and move home and invade private function and annoy everyone. AND NOW SHE HAVE FAKE PHOTO SHOOT?!?!?

I cannot take this bloated one anymore with the false career and the large hips.

WHAT IS THIS PHOTO SHOOT ON A SUNDAY MORNING WHEN NO ONE HAVE PHOTO SHOOTS AND YOU ARE PRETENDING?!?!?!

I no understand. At all. And there is actual goat here wanting oats from my hand.

Also, she is fat now.

43 COMMENTS

  1. What are any of her fauxtoshoots for? Sure they all end up on her sometimes locked Facebook and the blergh but never anywhere else.
    I still remember the nonsensical shoot at the New York City Library where she stomped all over the tables in an evening gown.

  2. Here’s a rare instance where I will agree with Julia Allison. You should be intimidated by gorgeous models, sweetie. You look like shit.

  3. “Also, she is fat now”

    This joke is really old and no longer funny. You are too good for this, Russian Girl.

    • You clearly no understand the idea of the “yoke being no longer about the yoke” the more you make it.

      But then you look fat to the me.

  4. So she moved to the Midwest to be a plus sized model? Closer, but I still don’t think she’ll make it.

  5. What’s bad about this is that she was up all night. Then again, you’d think she would have arrived in Illinois a couple of days ago so she could have adjusted to her surroundings and not spend half the night on the internet.

    • Since she was just in those surroundings a few weeks ago, her spending half the night up on the Internet would seem to have less to do with adjusting to her surroundings and more to do with her having absolutely nothing to do. Ever.

  6. Wow! Julia signed up to be a hair model. Seriously. I think this is a hair shoot for the salon/stylists. Nice spin she puts on it, though. Oh? And that hair studio is NOT in chicago. It’s in the burbs.

    • They better since she already went the trouble of getting her own microphone with their logo on it!
      That doesn’t come cheap. It’s at least the equivalent cost of one used Juicy tracksuit.

    • Oh, and from twitter: ” My new sister-in-law is the fastest thank you note writer in the universe. Britt: She actually brought a box of stationery on our honeymoon.”

      Didn’t she buy them her personalized stationary as a gift to serve that exact purpose?? Did Allie dislike it so much she literally spent her honeymoon looking to replace it?? 😉

      • Did you notice that in the illustrations on the OMGsoexpensive personalized thank you notes, the drawing of the woman looks more like Julia than Allie? It’s like she wants to marry her brother, ew.

  7. After watching Julia’s newly-posted family videos I can’t help but think that Allie’s side of the family was ecstatic when the evening came to an end and they could get the hell out of there. One of the most annoying things about Donkey is her nauseating fake laugh and the affected way in which she speaks. Why the video obsession? Can’t she ever let anything go un-recorded? Sure, the Baughers are used to her insanity, but Allie’s family looked uncomfortable, especially her dad. Run Allie’s family…run!

  8. It’s driving me up a fucking tree the way she describes this gathering as a “blended family.” A blended family is when two people marry who both have children from previous relationships (e.g. the Brady Bunch.) I wonder if she’s confusing “blended” with “mixed” and this is some weird allusion to Allie’s Pacific Islander heritage. God, I hope not.

    • She is a the very classy lady. Nice language. I am sure the old lady who is no allow in the house would the approve.

    • She was wearing the stinky blue Juicy sweatsuit that she was selling, too… Wonder if there was vomit and pee on it from watching this.

      I hope it sold for close to retail!

    • Her face looks all kinds of aged and haggard in this video and it was THREE YEARS AGO! She could not have been 26 or 27 at the time! She looks Jake’s wrinkly old aunt from Jersey here.

    • It’s creepy how much she wants to fuck her brother:

      “And, um, do you notice that both Allie & I are somehow inexplicably wearing matching brown dresses with white polka dots? We laughed hysterically when I walked in, because despite the fact that I was a total surprise guest, it looked like we called each other to coordinate.

      Obviously I was thrilled. :)”

      Totally SWF.

  9. Wait… there’s an Asian model but Jabba is the token brunette? Okay….

  10. I especially liked how the other girls were described by their hair color and the “Asian” by race. Classy.

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