Julia Allison Doesn’t Care That You Dumped Her Ass

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Hey remember Harvard Harley, the guy Julia dated and totally expected to marry who had a motorcycle? The sole reason why Julia Allison did this photo shoot to show off her leather jacket and her wiener?

Well Julia Allison doesn’t need him anymore because she is looking for someone who is wholesome, not a Ivy-educated rebel who’s into indie rock and straddling things.

Me: I was almost concerned he might be too … @Caro: Wholesome? Me: YES! But then I remembered I was looking for a husband – not a Harley!

Fuck you, Harvard Harley! You didn’t have to pretend to move to Canada because Julia didn’t want to marry you anyway.

37 COMMENTS

    • I like to imagine that they don’t mention her at all, unless they get stoned together and at some point he suddenly blurts out: “What were you thinking?!”, starting an endless back and forth of “What were you thinking?”, “What WAS I thinking?” that only ends when the husband interrupts by saying “Heh. Donkey…” with a silly giggle.

    • I’m sure she’s become a running joke in that circle. “Do you like this dress or is it too Julia?” “Sorry I got so drunk last night did I do anything really Julia?” etc etc

    • This is solid gold for a n00b like me, thank you!

      Also, I think there should be a law prohibiting JA from having more pictures of her taken. You people over the Atlantic should do something about it.

      • we’ll get right on that Helena, as soon as we pass that law that punishes people who are mean to other people on the internet. Brign back public floggings!!

  1. Did we ever find out who he was? Not that I want to know, but she usually lets these things drop, so I’m surprised I don’t his name.

  2. I don’t understand why she still talks about her exes and kind-but-not-really exes So. Much. Is her life that empty? (Yes.) Does she really crave drama that much that she has to constantly manufacture it? (Yes.)

  3. This is honestly what I find the creepiest – and saddest – about her. That she so quickly, and so willingly, transforms herself for every guy she’s interested in. I mean, I think she was “dating” Har Har for mere minutes before she went all red hair, cigarettes and leather. TK was just a blip on the radar screen when she well off with pics of all the fine literature on her shelves. The dude she documented her fauxga session for with wasn’t even a blip.

    Honestly, you don’t see me say much about her clothes, or her figure or her botox or any of that stuff because it’s stupid, vapid extraneous crap. I think her treatment of other is abhorrent as all hell but, this tranforming yourself within a hot second of meeting a guy and then documenting it via professional photoshoots is what really indicates to me that someone is one fish taco short of a combo plate. And in a really sad way.

    • Hey, if you find her desperation a turn off then you’re not the kind if man she’s looking for, okay?

      • Obviously, no man is the man she’s looking for. Hence, the continual search for one that will stay.

        The ones who run away after they’ve had a go – their screams and whimpers still echoing in perpetuity against the walls of her lonely pink soul, don’t count. They made it out alive.

      • Obviously, no man is the man she’s looking for.

        That may be true in more ways than one…

      • Obviously, no man is the man she’s looking for.

        ‘That may be true in more ways than one…’

        THIS

      • Now that she’s moving out of NY, she won’t have her Lasagna pan to lick, so to speak…

    • Dear God. I wasn’t following along too much during the red hair phase… didn’t realize it was in response to HH. But I should have known it was because she was yoohoo-ing some dude.

  4. And speaking of being dumped: Is there ANYONE in New York City sad to see Donkey go? She has no friends here, not even Masha — her “assistants” are undoubtedly thrilled to not have to suffer her presence any longer, although Lasagna will probably experience withdrawal symptoms for about fifteen minutes. And what about the NYC-based NS twits n’ twats? Going-away party Fri or Sat night? Oh, sure! Of course! One helluva shindig comin’ up.

    Who in this city is going to miss Donkey? I can’t imagine.

    • her dear friend Krystal cooked her a going away dinner and there was a sad shot of 3 lonely place settings at the table.

      • krystal is someone donkey thinks is a friend, but she’s in on the jokes as well. and talks about donkey as well.

      • A going away dinner that didn’t adhere to her celery sticks disease. Which you’d think a friend might maybe know she “had” and asked how she could accomodate her.

      • oh yes! So passive agressive, sigh, I guess she just doesn’t KNOW to accomodate me.

  5. This reminds me of the good ol’ Tweets of Insanity features y’all used to do. I can’t even follow the context or background for Julia’s tweets anymore. They are so. fucking. insane. It’s like she’s going on some kind of crazy bender right before she leaves because no sober person could possibly spew this kind of crazy, can they?

  6. OT, but does anyone think she emailed Prom King to ask him to buy her Ranjana Khan jewelry LIKE HE PROMISED?

    My guess? she called him: don’t put anything in writing!

  7. I don’t get what she’s trying to say. Aren’t motorcycles the opposite of wholesome? By wholesome, does she mean “too dignified to be seen in public with a woman dressed like a toddler prostitute”?

  8. Even Matt Cherette from Gawker TV is annoyed:

    mattchew03: @juliaallison Girl… This is literally the opposite of funny and/or clever.

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