TJ Kelly Continues His Quest To Break Stereotypes

So, every three days or so, my girl TJ pulls the buttplug out of his ass and write a confessional post that there is so much more to him than just being a glittery dick gobbler and that he wants to show different aspects of himself, you know, besides his pink puckering asshole that’s begging for some creamy lovespunk from Mr. Sweet, a horrible nickname that makes me want to go vom in the shower. Then he turns around and posts something so incredibly faggy that it makes me want to whack myself over the head with my glass dildo collection.

Guuurrrrrl, you need to nut up.


    • This video is such a windbag of emptiness, what is there to even comment on? He talked for over a minute and said absolutely nothing. “I’m going to SATC2, what did you think of it?” Well, FOUR WEEKS AGO every gay man and straight women out there was shitting themselves over how awful it was. Do I need to Google that for you or what? You work in a salon and you didn’t have a billion customers going on and on about it?

  1. So, I’m ready to make a confession. School’s out for summer but you wanna know how this inner city teacher made it through? Well, I discovered TJ’s youtube account and it made for a good 5 minute laugh here and there during the final months of teaching.

    I cannot get over how he mugs for the camera (it’s deliciously innocent). The makeup application in this video is comic gold. I have to remind myself how offensive most of my gay male friends would find him, though. And I sorta feel bad, like I’m laughing at black face. I’m conflicted.

    He’s such a lost puppy.

    BTW, he’s considering a new look. This look makes him very skeletor. I hardly endorse “baby face” as he calls it. And, god no, to Billy Idol.

    • I completely understand that there are different degrees of masculinity in the gay community, and I don’t intend on knocking someone on just being “fem,” because God knows I have my flame up moments. But the way he comes across on his blog and on camera is almost farcical and I actually find it offensive. I wouldn’t if he just owned his fagginess, but he is always talking about how he is not just a gay man. Well, then, QUIT ACTING LIKE NOTHING BUT A STEREOTYPICAL FANCY PANTS BUTT PIRATE, THEN!!!!!!!

      • I, 100%, agree. And most of my gay male friends would be appauled. But he’s also sorta adorable, and young, and unaware of how he presents himself—don’t ya think? I mean, how else to explain his dance video? He’s a little ree. It’s not about being fem or not, it’s his contruction of what it means to be fem which is HILAR.

      • Actually, it’s appalled.

      • You know, I spelled it like that but made the mistake of double checking with my lawyer boyfran and he told me one p and since he usually know everything, I followed his command.

        Thanks 😉

        P.S. I do not give my students spelling tests, for obvious reasons.

      • That’s the other thing. He’s not young. He is 27. He should know better. Gays usually stop seriously queening out by then. It’s one thing to be out and proud and comfortable with yourself, and it’s another thing to live your life as a horrible caricature.

      • 27! Well, I guess the crows feet give it away (bitchy!). However, based on emotional maturity, I would have guessed around 18 or 19.

    • Don’t be so hard on yourself. Ol’ JuLIAR loves when folks know their place, and she’s sure to encourage stereotypes that fit her narrow version of humanity. I didn’t expect anything more from her than TJ Minstrelsy.

    • I’m sure that makeup brush isn’t the first hairy thing he’s had rubbed on his face. He really looked ecstatic!

  2. So timely. The piece of shit known as SATC2 came out, what? Four weeks ago, and it’s sure to win the Razzie for worst donkey flick of the year. Wouldn’t a blow dry queen like TJ have known this?

  3. I like TJ and am rooting for him to find his true love, but I’m obviously not a very loyal “friend” because every snarky thing JP ever writes about him causes me to erupt in fits of laughter. I especially love the “My girl, TJ” moniker (Donkey word!). The thing that makes me feel bad about TJ is that he always seems to be playing a role instead of just being himself. It’s odd that he’s honest enough to repeatedly tell the truth about his faults and insecurities but not honest enough to stop putting on a fake I’m-so-gay show.

    • I like TJ too, I’m pretty sure he’s someone I’d be friends w/.

      I have a male friend that just needs to get on w/ it & come out already, but so far, he’s still trying to be what he thinks others want him to be ~ I’m guessing this learned trait could be a hard habit to break & maybe that’s why TJ’s actions completely contradict his words as he vocalizes what he strives for.

  4. In one of the vids, TJ is showing us his workplace – I think its the one after he cleaned – and pretend answers the phone with “Ryan Duh-rye-us” and that cracked me up because it sounded rather forced and pretentious. Is Ryan of Phonecian extraction or something?
    Don’t every day people pronounce it Da-ree-us? every Darius I know of says it that way but maybe it’s a black thing?
    I was imagining Ryan getting all snippy with his employees for pronouncing it the regular way….
    Also, TJ really looks like he could use some fresh air, sun, and exercise.

    • RE: Ryan getting all snippy, I envision a Hyacinth Bouquet / Bucket moment 🙂 Just recently (I think it was Biggest Loser) there was a Darius & his was pronounced Dairy-uss.

  5. TJ, dude, start reading the newspaper. You may not have gotten a very good education, but you can try to keep up with the world, y’know. And, you’ll also have the benefit of seeing written copy—with punctuation. Really….your world-view needs to expand beyond the salon.

    • EXACTLY. Do you read fucking movie reviews you goddang moran? Pick up a fucking newspaper and you woulda heard that the movie sucks balls.

      I got through about 30 seconds. He’s profoundly irritating.

  6. Also I have a really, really, really hard time believing that shitshow is still getting lines wrapped around the block in NYC.

    • Attendance for the movie plummeted on its second day of release… cuz, you know, people hate going to the movies on Saturday.

  7. Worst Things In The World, Chapter 7889

    Can you imagine being stuck sitting behind Donkey, TJ, and The Peltmaster at the movies. Having to listen to braying. the tee-hees and the OMG nail biting when Aiden appears. Then the crunch, crunch, crunch of the trail mix bought for donkey, consisting of monkey nuts and carrot sticks. Then the phones going off the whole time. I would also imagine that TeeJ and Peltmaster come with a cloud of parfum.

    Like the film isn’t bad enough.

  8. OT, but how come, for two days in a row now, i’ve read about mass yoga gatherings in times square and central park, yet our lady hasn’t said a peep about these events? it’s worrisome.

  9. I cannot stop laughing out loud at any of this! TJ seems nice, but telling us that Carrie’s closet reveal was his favorite scene makes me wonder if this isn’t performance art. He can’t be real! (But I hope he is. How does someone so sweet and innocent survive in this city?!)

  10. I don’t comment here often, but he seems completely coked up, all the time. Look at his mouth. Just sayin’.

    • Do you mean his mouth at the end, when he acts like the makeup brush is giving him an orgasm? Because I wish I could unsee that. It haunted my dreams last night, and not in a good way.

      • “I wish I could unsee that.”
        The exact thought went through my head as I was watching that part too. It’s like fast-frame pictures keep popping into my head.

      • Ryan went to Flor-eeta to do hair extensions, meaning someone po fool is getting a poofy plastic peltastrophe w/ the additional cost of airfare built-in? Gag me.

      • If he’s trying to work out his personae outside of the stereotypical gay identity via the nonsociety forum he is failing miserably.
        I suspect on that Gay Housewives show his positioning as a tertiary character will be the goofy naif.
        I picture a narrative where Ryan De-Rye-Us leaves the salon under TJ’s watch for a day and all hell breaks loose. hilarity.
        TJ, crows feet and all, is getting too old to pull this tiresome shit off.

      • The minute I read about De-rye-us being one of the gay housewives, I connected the dots. I’m sure jabba would like a guest appearance as well.

      • oh, TJ on nonsociety is not random – Julia is totally angling for pelt time on tv.

      • And as an aside, other than Katrina – who is the most high profile and skilled of the bunch – and Meghan, I can’t really figure out how the other contributors fit in the scheme of things other than to pad up the site. The line-up on the home page is telling – Julia and Sheesh on top, Meghan att he bottom, and the rest arranged alphabetically.
        I suspect that “the other” responded to that craiglist solicitation from way back and Julia and Meghan are finally getting around to follow-up. Actually I picture Meghan’s role now as Nonsociety’s “pimp”though that might be giving her too much credit.
        If regular, sincere Nonosociety readers exit i imagine it must be kind of insulting when the new contributors are vaguely and unceremoniously introduced and to discover that these new characters are unremarkable and dim. It’s been like three years right? the site is sloppier than ever.

      • Goodness.

        The thing that amazes me is not that he MADE the video, but that he POSTED it.

        It is one thing to randomly film yourself being silly & goofy & kinda lame.

        It is another thing entirely to watch said video and then think, “This is perfect! I want to share it with the world!”

      • I’ve had very similar thoughts, Jordache. In the beginning, it was the 3 girls, pimping their web to tv project. Then they worked Jordache in with a rather planned welcome, complete with sklar profile on mediate. Somewhere along the line, they got kinda desperate, and started calling everyone from the several craigslist ads they put up. They also obviously asked people they know…out of desperate? Like brandt, Emily Rose, and TJ (who I think Julia knows a bit from going to the Da-rye-us) salon.

      • Dude is either coked or tweaking. Ugh. Like Jordache said above, dude is failing at not being a stereotype of a particular sort of shallow gay.

  11. i know it’s been mentioned before…..but…..the eyebrows kill me.
    the distance between keeps widening.

  12. The eyebrows! It looks like his eyes roll around independently of each other.

    • Yes! It’s like someone once made fun of him for having a unibrow and it scarred him for life so now he overcompensates.

      • Between him and that browless wonder, NS could really use some help.

  13. He seems like the kind of a gay who thinks it’s ok to feel me up just because he’s gay. And i don’t like to be touched by people i am not about to do naughty things with.

    • Ohhh myyyy gawwwwwd ….

      ‘Innocence’, she calls it?
      That’s The Head That Ate Cincinnati,
      & she needs to lose that shit, pronto.

      Something about him turns my stomach also.

  14. OT…
    Anyone notice that JA has been up until 4 am the last two nights, posting old lip dubs and pictures of her bike (god the bike! And the way she parks it. Middle of the sidewalk, or as on the waterfornt picture, directly across the walkway, not tucked alongside the rail out of joggers’ and other people’s way, like EVERYONE else in NYC learns to do 20 minutes after they get here. God that bothers me. More than some of her high-profile bullshit. It just shows a special level of self-absorption, narcissim or whatever)?
    Anyway, sad kinda. The whole ashram transformation has melted away. Up all night on the internet, dreaming big, doing nothing…

    • Shades of the juicy red sweats over the Chicago
      holibrays, she’s STILL wearing that SAME dress!!

  15. OT on this thread, but I can’t hep it I need to talk about this NEW INSANITY.
    Stick with it , it opens slow but gets juicier, I love it starting around 2:15.
    Really it’s like the Zapruder film that epitomizes the trainwreck that is

    Related: is she still seeing that shrink?
    I hope?

    • he’s increasingly like wtf. WTF? WTF!!!!!!!!!! and then fuckit, eat. I was AMAZED to realize they are out in PUBLIC.

      also omg the plastic surgery MJ face!

      • I like his little grimaces. I was trying to pull a screengrab butt I don’t have the skills.

    • wow— I cannot believe she is posting that mess. And isn’t it slightly worrisome that she chooses the male vocal for their cringe-worthy duet?
      She isn’t even drank…just re re. The two of them sitting there infront of a steaming… table (?) is funny—are they dishwashers on a video-break?
      Her face..Octomom.

      • You can tell she desperately wants to sing both parts. It’s sheer agony for her to sit and watch as he sings…exactly the way she is in conversations. She always looks like she’s about to jump out of her skin when she has to wait for someone to finish a thought or a sentence. She wants to do all the talking and all the singing, damnit!!!

    • Dear god.. I’d rather shove chopsticks up my urethra than watch that again. Some of you are commenting like it is new, but she says in the entry it is 2 years old.. I like how not even 10-15 seconds in he is already checking his phone for messages. She looks high as shit on booze or Adderall.

      When I see something like this I can only think “that has got to be some bomb-ass pussy for homeboy to put up with that level of lame”. But from what I’ve heard that isn’t true so what’s his fucking excuse?

  16. Julia stayed up all night trying to figure out how to get her innocence back. There’s never been anything remotely innocent about this vile donkey. She’s confusing innocence with “back when people used to pay attention to me!” That’s what she’s trying to recapture.

  17. “…I’m working on a project right now that requires me to go through my archives, which I haven’t delved through in years … ”

    Wow. She hasn’t gone through her “archives” in years? Next thing, she’ll say she’s headed to see her parents this weekened in Chicago, where she hasn’t been in forever. She just assumes everyone who reads her site is reading it for the first time?

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