Julia Allison: Appreciative

The sweet subletter I had in May bought me a new West Elm rug as a thank you gift! And then @Lillydog promptly threw up on it.

Correct me if I am wrong, but does letting someone move into your place for a month and pay your rent merit a thank you gift? I mean, aren’t they doing you a favor? I would have never accepted the rug, but that’s just me. Anyway, I’m pretty sure Lilly vomited (not in the shower!) because she hates you.

79 COMMENTS

  1. ….Why would a subletter buy a rug as a thank you gift? If I was renting out someone’s apartment for a short period of time I might, say, leave some flowers or candles out after I left, but certainly not buy them a rug. Weird, fishy.

    • Well, if I puked/shat/spilled red wine on the carpet and wanted to hide that I might buy a cheap rug to cover it up. Kinda like when I brayge and punch a hole in my drywall and then put a poster over it.

    • I think it’s nice, classy even, that that the subletter (if she even exists) gave Julia a thank you gift.
      What I don’t think is nice and classy is that Julia announces publicly that her dog puked on it.
      Anyways, the subletter probably noticed that Julia uses white bath mats as home furnishings/decor and felt bad for her. Or maybe she had a good New Yoek experience while staying at the Pink Palace and was appreciative and is thoughtful and has good manners. anyways, she probs got it on sale at West Elm – tey aren’t doing too well these days.

      • Or maybe, the subletter just didn’t want JABA-germs and used the rug like a surgical-glove.

      • She probably made the subletter story up to fit in a free “West Elm Rug” post. This girl seems to make her whole life up around whatever free shit she can get. #nutjob.

      • Seriously. This whole story is ridiculously inconsistent. Julia only mentioned the subletter when someone from RBNS brought it up (much like Lilly). First of all, wasn’t the subletter for the summer? Not May only. Second of all, there were some RBNS’ers who pointed out that all the times she traveled back to NYC, she was staying at the Pink Palace. No way she would have been there with a subletter. Just another pointless lie.

      • Julia did mention that the subletter was for a month or so and Julia was only in New York for one full day during that period.

  2. This photo brings up an OT thought: interesting that she hasn’t shown us a picture of her new, pelt-free hair. She hasn’t posted a new picture of herself in a week. What’s going on here?! Bad results of the formaldehyde hair treatment? Nose job #4?

  3. I guess if the subletter had ruined the original rug, I could see her buying a new one. Or if she was staying there for free. But otherwise, no, that makes no sense. The only thing I ever did when I sublet a place was to make sure I left it as clean as I found it.

  4. My guess is the subletter had to throw out Julias rug because it smelled like dog piss and replaced it with one that did not. As someone who once replaced the smelly roommate in college I’d put money on it.

    • Yep and then said “Jeezus, just keep the damn thing,” which in Julier-speak becomes gifting. Voila.

  5. So this is sort of random and OT, but whatever. I recently had the occasion to go on an incredibly romantical date with a dude I like very much. This does not usually happen to someone so mean and cat hair covered as me, so it was especially exciting for me to cheat on Mr. Fluffypants with an actual human being. I could not stop thinking about how fucked up and moment-ruining it would be for me to be like “hold on!” and pull out my cellphone and take a million pictures or maybe make him take some of me and then photoshop them and post them on the internet and shit. When would you even have time to bone in the middle of all that? How would any normal man react except with screaming and running and sorry crazy lady, now you get no penis? It gave me new perspective on how a happy person operates (i.e. not like Julia) that none of my cat dates really had. That is all.

      • I write for a living, sometimes even in the first-person. But the divide between my personal life and work life feels so strong, clear and obvious that it’s really hard to understand why so many people have so much trouble with this issue. Maybe that’s why I’m weirdly fascinated with Julia…despite being somewhat similar to her in demographic (gender, age, socioeconomic class, acquaintances in common, etc.), I can’t relate to her at all. I feel like we’re all watching a horror movie and shouting at the screen “no bitch, don’t do that! do you WANT to get cut? you are an idiot!” except she can actually hear us. But instead of listening, she gets mad and stomps her hooves.

    • Call me single-minded but for any woman who would even consider a question of such existential import as this?

      When would you even have time to bone in the middle of all that?

      I’d say “Take all the damn pictures you want!”

  6. NYTimes today “End of Icing” she ruins another (awful) thing, and comes late to the party…..

  7. Lilly seems to have a lot of accidents. You’d think that by now she’d be trained well enough to avoid them, or that Julier would be trained well enough to put down some geedee wee-wee pads.

    (A side note: Much thanks to Pink Ruffled Cheese for my new username, which I slightly tweaked from the original.)

    • ^Both these defects in training reflect on Our Lady, not that poor despondent pup, btw.

    • I got my name from PRC too. She’s like the Angel Gabriel of names. Or something.

  8. Sorry for veering off-topic, but it’s been annoying the shit out of me that the new NS nitwit describes herself as “self-anointed.” Stupid browless one should have used “self-appointed.” Unless, of course, there really is some sort of special NS religious ceremony whenever some drab, tedious loser in life becomes a CONTRIBUTOR to that shitshow, and gets a pretend job title.

  9. How the hell was this picture taken? Tripod/timer? A human being?

    “Here, take a picture of me cleaning up dog puke. I’m lifecasting.”

  10. Stupid, hypocrite Donkey who helps herself to watermarked images from Getty.

    Fantastic example of tech helping people money from their hobbies! RT @jeffjarvis: Getty monetizes the crowd at Flickr. http://bit.ly/ct01AN
    about 3 hours ago via Echofon

    Well tech don’t help people make money when thieves like you steal images donkey. Sorry, forgot you were special and don’t have to pay for things like everyone else.

    • Safety Helmet??? Umm…has this been discussed??? Gurl, riding your
      nifty Beach Cruiser on the streets of NYC without a helmet is asking for trouble. Many of these streets are like major highways with 18wheelers and speeding cars, OH? rly you only take the side streets? well what about those beloved taxis in which you pose for foot fetish shots? Have you seen them sprint down the side streets? Get a helmet.

    • THAT is without pelts? It looks longer than ever. And greasier, which isn’t a surprise given educated speculation about her hygiene habits.

      • im assuming its w/o pelts? i think im just a fan of any hair that does not involve sausage curls

      • no way that can be pelt-free — it’s super-long! Although it’s a halfway decent pic.

  11. @melissakondak: can’t wait for dinner with the fabulous amazing Miss Julia Baron.

    is it just me or do we have a juliaallison clone in the making

  12. If you are looking for a way to make any room in your home more attractive, then you may want to invest in some oval rugs. You can use an oval rug in the living room, dining room, bedroom or outside, even if you get the type of carpet

    • God I love these. What shape rugs does Julia have? Why, Julia has rectangular rugs. Perhaps if Julia had oval rugs, her dog would not vomit on them.

    • God. Damn. Anudder vun got outta da camp! Must be un hole in de vi-ur dey get tru. BACK TO DA CAMP, SPAMNIK!! Ve haf un speshul shower for you today. heh heh.

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