UPDATED: Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Thrown Down The Hatch

Apparently, boats and eligible men and donkeys don’t mesh very well, as just last week and last night Julia was braying on Twitter how some parties, one of them thrown by matchmaker Janis Spindel, were beyond horrific, most likely because no one was paying attention to the tranny wearing plastic hair and a billowing tent of a dress.

Well, a concerned NonSociety reader reached out to Janis to ask her how she feels about being so ruthlessly bashed after having basically supplied Julia Allison with supposedly free services. When asked if she knew what Julia said on Twitter, Janis responded:

What’s so funny I was talking to one of the 34yr old, tall, dark handsome guys that was on the boat who I introduced her to and apparently she’s been texting him for days, and he is contemplating taking her out. That said I am not sure why she is bashing my beyond successful loveboat party….. But then again she left without saying good bye or THANK YOU …. That tells me  a lot about her and her lack of class since she made it very clear….. She doesn’t pay to come to anything as she’s “press” . Well, to be honest with you, I invited her because she’s pretty and SINGLE for YEARS, NOT because she was press, but I did have her as my guest and to not say thank you — beyond TACKY in my mind, as well as her friend who said the same. Wonder why women are single?? Ha ha

Beyond tacky, indeed. And for the love of god, JULIA ALLISON IS NOT PRESS! And she needs to stop scamming people into giving her free shit because she says she is. She doesn’t work for a media organization, and she writes a personal blog where the only topics are herself and the marriage she will never have.

The concerned reader then asked her about this tweet and asked if this email thread be sent our way:

Janis Spindel Matchmaking called me to see if I was “still single.” UM, IT’S BEEN EXACTLY 5 DAYS SINCE YOUR GODAWFUL SINGLES CRUISE SO: YES.     about 17 hours ago  via Echofon

And Janis responded:

Whoa what do u mean again? The cruise was last wed the 9th. No one from my office has called her since, nor will they as she has been “let’s say put in cyberspace or DELETED” as we say. Sure you can put my post on there. This was a one-off cruise where so far 17 out of the 26 men are on their way with potential matches. 4 men left that night with women and went for dinner and have since gone on a total of 3 dates with the women they met and 13 men are on 2nd dates with women they have met,  so in my mind that was a VERY successful night, rain and all.

Wow. I say congrats to Janis for being a highly successful business woman. And I say fuck you to donkey for being such a lying, despicable cunt.

UPDATE: Just to say that I am now officially in love.

98 COMMENTS

  1. Once again, objective evidence of what we’ve all been saying all along: DONKEY-DA-DONK-DONK-DONK!!

  2. Nothing has changed at all since high school or college. Still a deplorable ingrate and an inveterate liar.

    • But June 9th to June 16th IS EXACTLY FIVE DAYS!!! JABa’s GMAT tutor should sue Spindel’s matchmaking FAIL ass!!!
      Oh wait.

    • I am sure Janis (or more likely someone who works for her) has her name on a Google Alert. If it’s not real, we’ll find out about it, I am sure.

      Besides, the RBNS mods never post anything that they can’t verify without plainly stating that it’s rumor.

  3. Most amazing e-mails ever. If I were single, I would use Janis Spindel’s matchmaking services by pure virtue of the fact that she is fucking awesome. A++, Janis.

    Also LOVE the insinuation that Donks is trying to date a guy that she met at this thing. “Oh, it was just SO AWFUL that I might have met my next Prom King there!” She is such a liar, and about things there is absolutely 100% no need to lie about. What is wrong with her?!

  4. So many questions still unanswered…

    1) Why DID Julia trash this free, apparently successful event?

    2) I thought Julia was single and celibate and loving it?

    3) Is Julia just confused about all these singles cruises calling her? I believe Janis when she says her office didn’t contact her again, so what is that tweet about claiming they called her?

    4) WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE STILL INVITE HER TO ANYTHING?

    5) Who was the friend she brought?

    • I think when she said they contacted her “again,” she means they contacted her once to invite her and then a second time afterward to see how she was doing (did she make a match?). Personally, this sounds polite and like Janis does good business.

      • Ah, I hadn’t thought of that but it does make the most sense. I actually thought it might be a dig at her after writing those godawful tweets– “Hey Julia, you still single? Yeah. Shocking. *click*”

    • By “her friend” I think Ms Spindel is referrring to the bachelor JABa met on the cruise and is now txt stalking. I read it as him agreeing with Janice that “beyond tacky” is an apt description of Princess Donkey.

      • Now that I re-read, I believe you are correct. They both kinda shook their heads after it was over.

      • And I thought “her friend” was referring to the girl in this tweet:

        @juliaallison
        Girl Also Hiding in Ladies Room: This is like going to a really bad movie. Me: Except with movies YOU CAN LEAVE!!!!! #NeverAgain
        9:37 PM Jun 9th via Echofon

  5. I just can’t believe Julia basically said she was press, begged to come to the event, then publicly told the world that she was an invited guest, and Kracken is right, what happened to being celibate and single?

    What a cow.

    • Theories.

      JA has known JS since 1998, which is the first time she abused her gratis services (and in doing so in exchange for publicity, was likely able to bypass the typically mandatory screening of “inventory” as a result) for a taped matchmaker date with a CW host. The next was in ’09 for the TONY article. JS got the boot for the other matchmaker, Lisa, for the TMI episode. I’m assuming Lisa stopped offering to keep her on as “inventory” for her to go back to JS. Having a Julia on your inventory list makes your company look pretty bad.

      That TONY date, btw, was the one where she was tweeting from the bathroom about how horrible the guy and his choices were. She ended it with some “never judge a book” message, but the damage was done anyway. Well, JA has gone on many JS-introed dates since then with no success. I get the impression that she’s still on the “media blast” list and when Julie “single, celibate and free” Albertson Burger gets a mass media email about a JS event she sees red and rages. She decides to go despite hating that – zomg – JS STILL hasn’t found her a husband and it’s been 12 years since they first met (really sad, btw)! She wants a husband desperately so she’s willing to bury her dissatisfaction until of course she’s done wrong in being ignored for other qualified, passed inspection “inventory”, so she BRAAAAAYGES. During this brayge you must accept some facts:

      1. SHE was invited by THEM and SHE didn’t have to PAY. She is highly in demand, not desperate or random! SHE is dissatisfied and the world should know!

      2. She went as a JOKE (hence the HA in the first tweet re: name of the event, which began her brayge against JS), she is NOT reeeally trying to find a husband. Therefore, she has every right to publicly disparage the company and JS.

      3. She is NOT RANDOM.

  6. This is hilarious and amazing. And I adore that Janis’ tone is totally, “wow, what a tacky cow, but you know what, whatev, I’m super successful and she’s not only an eternal cat lady, but now she can’t come to my boat parties anymore either.”

  7. This made me cry laughing. She brays and brays and it’s all horseshit ( or should I say donkeyshit).

    Janis, however, is the bomb. I am enchanted by her and would also use her if I was single.

  8. From Janis’s twitter:

    17 out of 25 men are dating from the “come meet your husband yacht event.” Where were you…hiding in a corner? ha ha

    +695939

  9. “single for YEARS” might have just gotten me fired. This is awesome! So ridiculous that she didn’t say goodbye, she acts like a snotty 16 year old who didn’t get the attention she thinks she deserves.

  10. Speaking of dating guys and getting dumped and then crying about it:

    Billy Joel’s daughter Alexa Ray says, “I have a flair for the dramatic…I’m an artist. I’m a performer,” while explaining her not-an-overdose of homeopathic aspirin was due to the crying-every-day-for-two-years over the break-up of her first serious relationship. If Donkey’s tenure with PK was a barometer, Alexa must’ve been dating her fella for almost all her life.

    http://www.newser.com/story/93002/i-cried-for-2-years-after-break-up-alexa-ray.html

  11. Since I wrote a ridonk novel above, the most important fact just bears repeating: JA has known JS (and utilized her services) for 12 YEARS NOW. But it’s the service and its paying clientele that’s the problem? Bray on, braya’.

    • Well, let’s even ignore the matchmaking part of this. A woman you’ve known over a decade invites you to a free boat cruise with (I’m assuming) free booze and food and music. And all you can do is lock yourself in a bathroom and tweet to the masses about how shitty it is? Then just run off without saying thank you? That’s one of the most dickish things I’ve ever heard!

      I’d love it if Janis either sued the crap out of her for defamation or just leaked a blind item about ol’ Jules to Page Six because her claim that “all the women cheered when the boat docked” is pretty scandalous. Hey donkey, did you ever think that they were cheering because maybe they had a good time, found someone they liked, and were gonna go have some hot sex?

  12. Oh god. Now that cooz is tweeting about NASCAR, except she doesn’t know where they’re actual headquarters are (Daytona). As someone who grew up near Charlotte and Lowe’s Motor Speedway, this annoys me.

      • I didn’t grow up a NASCAR fan, but I grew up around tons of people who were die-hards. So this just rubs my southern-ness the wrong way.

    • Julier is a Very Important Bidness Lady, so all of her meetings, segments, shoots (or whatever the hell she mischaracterizes these activities as) necessarily take place at organizations’ HEADQUARTERS, not at penny-ante BRANCHES located in dive towns like Daytona, for God’s sake.

      • And lord knows she never DEIGN to come down to Charlotte. That’s the South — eww! Gross! Even though I don’t live there anymore, let me speak for the entire region when I say: WE DON’T WANT YOU, DONKEY.

    • Someone pointed out to her on twitter that NASCAR HQ is in Daytona, and she replied: “They also have a hq here in NYC. Which is lovely! Fantastic views. :)”

      Um, no. They have a regional office in NY. The meaning of “Headquarters” is apparently beyond Donkey’s grasp.

      • no way they would invite important bidness lady and journalist julie albertson to some REGIONAL office! only the HQ will do for our donkey!

        #CONSTERNATEDBASTIONOFTOOLS

  13. It might be exhausted for Julier to have to put out fires like this, oh, weekly — all completely caused by her own cuntiness.

  14. i know friend of my enemy and all that… but read up on janis – she is not unlike a grown up version of our donk people. and let’s be real… i’d bet all my marbles that many of those dudes on this matchmaking cruise were absolutely horrible. and janis’ daughter sounds just like a jfa wannabe – just another no expertise expert.

  15. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Imagine how much cuntier Donkey would be if she hadn’t gone to the assram for a week!

    • i am seriously concerned. where is the little puppy? why won’t julia albertson at least mention her on that shitshow? what is going on!?!?!?

  16. Wait, there was a link above in which Julia Allison references an ELIMIDATE appearance circa 2006. How the hell do we get video of this?

  17. There has to be more backstory here.

    It’s like Jason Calacanis/ Robert Scoble/ Michael Arrington’s public pissing contests to garner page views with faux feuds.

    Unless she just is the most ungrateful, narcisstic, spoiled bitch who ever lived.

    Yeah, the latter. Sigh. But FUNNEEE!!! (biotch)

  18. This is seriously the funniest thing ever. I’m glad demure and pitiful Internet-hated JA summoned up the strength to stand up for herself and be a RAGING BITCH to someone she once had a friendly business relationship with. Burn those bridges, baby.

    I hate this “nice person, good person” shtick. There’s nothing respectable about calling yourself a nice person when you’re blatantly NOT A NICE PERSON. Be a bitch, or don’t. Her whole deal is so fucking weak.

    • I agree. I’d love it if she were the bitchest bitch bitch of epic proportions and owned being a bitch.

      But she’s way too insecure to. Instead all her plastic fakiness comes out as bad as her plastic hair and fake gems on her froques. She lives her life how she *thinks* a life is supposed to be lived. She’s like an alcoholic learning how to function in society by mimicking others. Only worse because she has no excuse.

  19. What people are missing is that Julia, being selfless in a literal sense, thinks her life should follow the plotlines of whatever tv show of the week she is in. As the starring character, she should have been like The Bacholerette with every man vying for her affections. When this did not happen, to her that meant that the yacht/show was horrible–they weren’t following the “script”.

    • Donkey still hasn’t gotten over her SATC fixation.

  20. I don’t have time to read ALL the comments, but I’m hereby proposing a Reblogging NonSociety Matchmaking Cruise. Good times will be had by all.

  21. I agree that Julia’s tweets were tasteless and rude, but didn’t the anonymous RBNSer break the “no meddling in Julia’s life” rule? I thought we’d agreed that telling people like Spindel about Julia’s misbehavior was out of line…

    • When did RBNS become a hive mind? “We” didn’t agree anything.

      (Not the anonymous commenter myself, but I think what s/he did was hilarious, and the results even funnier.)

      • Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that RBNS was a hive mind. I just remember the mods urging us not to contact people in Julia’s life (was this around the TK episode? I forget).

        Am I really the only person on this site who thinks the commenter’s behavior was a step too far? I don’t want to speak for partypants, because she hasn’t commented on this post, but I recall that she left RBNS in part because some of its commenters had taken the attitude of “this bitch must be destroyed.” The act of writing to Spindel, who until that point had been unaware of Julia’s tweets, strikes me as another example of that mentality. Do we really care so much about Julia that we’re willing to involve ourselves in her life? (Or analyze the timestamps on her iphone photos, or look up her father’s real-estate holdings?)

      • I think there are certain degrees of behavior, and to me, there is a major difference between looking up her family’s real estate holdings and informing someone of a rather public insult that Donkey made. It’s not like anyone had to dig anywhere or know anything personal about her family to find the offending tweet.

      • Expert Gay, I hate commenting because it’ll just be ‘oh look partypants drama’, but here is my position.

        In my opinion there is a difference between receiving and posting unsolicited tips and reblogging Julia’s public blog and tweets, and taking it upon myself to dig up her family’s financial holdings, or examining exif geo data, or showing up at her various events etc, or emailing people to say “you should know what a terrible person Julia is!” I am not judging anyone else for doing these things, but for me personally I am simply not that interested or invested in scouring the planet for validation of my dislike of her. It evidently provides lulz for many people here, and I assume that’s the goal in such activities so who am I to judge? As far as whether it is going too far and getting involved in her life I leave that up to everyone’s individual lines in the sand. It’s just not something I am comfortable doing at this point.

        It’s not a hive mind and everyone is going to find certain things funny and some aren’t. To each their lulz, that’s the point of rbns after all!

    • Janis had seen (and publicly responded to) Donks barrage of obnoxious tweets, albeit ambiguously, prior to concerned reader contacting her. So at this point she’d actually already been aware of them. The “rain on my parade” tweets were re: JA’s. I believe the point of the email was “since you know/have seen this, why keep inviting (read: enabling, encouraging, providing free services to) her”.

  22. One episode of Kevin Marlo in Elimidate was never shown to the public and never been aired on television due to Marlo’s passing very unexpectedly on September 11, 2001.

  23. The fact remains that some people, Julia Allison in particular, attend events as press and then bash it. This is a great ploy of self promotion at the expense of the venue. It’s a common practice for those people who do not understand the value of Twitter. The real benefit of Twitter, according to Joel Comm, author of Twitter Power 2.0 is to tell the world what you are doing and then state your opinion or ask for feedback. I would be curious to see if Juila Allison ever said anything nice about any event she attended, or is her motive to always trash others to self promote herself. Personally, I know two men that attended the event and these guys are very impressed with the “talent” that Spindel had on the cruse. Most important, I don’t consider them by any stretch of the imagination to be nerds or geeks. In fact, I am very curious as to why somene would intentially bash someone else just to get followers. If I had to exist in that world, I would certainly think about a new career.

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