The Piggies Need a Break, Y’All

Finally on the flight, last row, THANKING THE LORD I can change from my 6 inch heels into thick pink socks. Thankyouthankyouythankyou.

I am sure that Julia’s fellow passengers are thrilled she is stinking up the plane with her piggie sweat. Those shoes are digustingly dirty.

Buy clean shoes, then get a therapist, asshole!

90 COMMENTS

  1. I always think it looks so bad when women of her height and figure wear those super high heels. Looks so awkward. I’m tall so maybe I just don’t get it, but, yak. 3 inches OK…6????

    • Eh. I mean, she can’t walk in heels, as we’ve witnessed, but as a petite girl myself (5’2″, 115 lbs)…I like high heels, as long as I can (a) walk in them and (b) not look like a prostitute. 🙂

      • But I suppose the bigger issue is WHY she was wearing those damn heels to the AIRPORT. Jesus. Put on some flats/smart travel footwear.

    • She’s an idiot and a liar. She cannot look graceful in 6 inch heels, why would you wear them to a FUCKING AIRPORT anyway? Christ I hate her. Also they are filthy and she’s a whore.

    • Very true. Most women look ridiculous in 5-plus inch shoes (and most women confuse a 4-inch heel for higher than it is in the first place) and shorter girls do tend to, as with most things, give the vibe of little girl playing in grown-up shoes if they can’t walk properly. I’m 5’3″ and I wear heels almost every day, but rarely above 4 inches because they’re just ridiculous in most situations, come on.

  2. This is really revolting. Someone’s gonna trip over those dirty banana shoes and I pity the poor soul sitting next her – on the “last row”, why did we need to know that? Julia is truly demented and foul.
    She’s def pandering to the foot fetishists – like the ones who like soiled stuff.

  3. Last row…right by the bathrooms.
    IMO worst seats on the plane.
    Not much to be thankful about there.

    PS those shoes look filthy!

    • Indeed the worst seat on the plane. The fucking seat doesn’t even lean back. Complete travel fail. Julia, have you ever been on an airplane before? They let you pick your seats now! And when you are flying from FUCKING LA TO NEW YORK you might want to make sure you get a comfy seat.

      I imagine she is a last-minute type that tries to re-live all those rom-coms where the frantic female runs up to the desk and says “GIVE ME THE FIRST FLIGHT TO NEW YORK!!” and pays full price. Only terrorists and complete fucking retards do that in real life.

      And those dirty bananas… LADIES AND GENTS, I PRESENT YOU JULIA ALBERTSONS, FASHION BLOGGER EXTRAORDINAIRE!

  4. Immediate thoughts:

    That skirt is too short. Her cooter is basically in contact with the seat. So gross. Good luck with the yeast infection when pretzel crumbs get all up your business, Jules.

    38H? Yikes. Way back of the plane, huh?

    Those shoes are filth! The stain on the back of her heel there is indication that she does stomp and clomp around like a graceless donkey.

    That dimple on her calf? Really, Donkey…you need to cut back on the cupcakes and walk your damn dog for 45 minutes 3x a day. That is fat! Work on that.

    Also, please please please make finding a therapist a priority.

  5. Also women that wear six inch heels to airports/on planes = want to punch in head. It is very easy to slip on a McDonalds’s gherkin slice at the airport and your heels will perforate the emergency chute in the event of an emergency.

    Damn fools, why you need heels to sit on a plane/pick up your luggage. You ain’t getting an upgrade honeybunz, EVERYONE knows those shoes are fake including the check-in staff.

    • Yeah, really. I like how she is THANKING THE LORD for this as though it were some terrible plight that she was forced to endure. Um, you made the stupid decision to wear those. You could have changed out of them at any time, or just not put them on in the first place. God doesn’t give a shit about your ugly ass hobbit feet.

  6. I cannot believe anyone on Earth (yes I mean the ENTIRE Earth) would take a picture of shoes that dirty unless the purpose was (a) an informercial on how to get grime out of a show, or (b) to prove why the person was in dire need of new shoes.

    • She’s just doing it to get a reaction from us.

      Meanwhile look at the depression in the side of her leg, I haven’t that kind of water retention in anybody who wasn’t in their third trimester.

  7. Notice how she is pointing her toes…. Even sitting down, without shoes on, she is still contorting her body. Does it ever stop with this girl??

  8. BINGO BONUS blog shot of all flight detail info. Why? Why would you post your flight info all over the crazy internetz you crazy donkey.

    • Because she’s keeping it real. You see, we say she only posts when she flies business or first. But now she is showing us that sometimes she gets the worst seat on the plane, the one that doesn’t recline and is the aisle seat by the bathroom. Have fun with that on a 5 hour flight. Just when you thought you might fall asleep, wrong! Granny’s gotta go to the bathroom and her balance isn’t that good.

      • Yeah I’ve sat in that seat, you get punched in the head and hair grabbed everytime there’s a wait for the bathroom.

        But she will be arriving at Terminal 8 at 12.35 am should any of the nice young men who hit on her on twitter want to pick her up IRL. Why would you post that info?

    • AND she managed to get another parking ticket. There are reasons why donkeys are not allowed to drive cars.

      • I really don’t understand this. I have some friends who are rich and just don’t give a fuck where they park ever because they just pay the fines. But her thing isn’t even along these lines. It’s more like…she thinks it’s cute to be helpless? I don’t know.

    • because she got date raped and had stalker back in college, so she learned how to protect herself by changing her last name!

  9. I was once at a gay bar where one of the gogo dancers was wearing a ripped and dirty jockstrap and he smelled like shit. He was really hot, in a Chris Pontius from Jackass kind of way. I was like, what the hell is this shit, that guy is filthy!!! Then I realized there were some guys there who were eating that shit up, that was their total jam. They were ignoring all the hot, pretty boy, typical gay bar gogo dancer boys and like salivating for that guy to make his way around the bar each time. A hot, smelly, dirty, torn jock strap guy with BO and body hair. Now, I like a manly guy with hair and a little sweat odor, but I didn’t understand the filth. I am a straight girl, btw. It was weird because it wasn’t quite a typical bear situation, in that he was still a little bit cutesy and also most bears I’ve met don’t reek, they are just hairy and gnarly. I only saw it that once, and not since, but it really struck me that there is a fetish out there for everyone.

    Anyways, my point is that Julia must be pandering to Filth Fetisists.

  10. The inside of those shoes are FILTHY. Does she walk around barefoot on concrete sidewalks all day and then step into those shoes?

  11. At first when I saw this on her kiddlestream, I thought she had taken a picture of another person’s shoes. Why would she post this? They look so dirty! It also seems that they are full of skin/sweat mixture – that black stuff in the shoes. GROSS! Clean your shit.

    But, this also means she might not be wearing the Juicy sweatpant outfit. Don’t make us miss a BINGO square, Julia!

  12. Seriously there is a BIG BLACK STAIN on your shoe. GROSS. Also you are walking around a fucking airplane barefoot? Oh god ew.

    • I am afraid you missed the pretty striped pink socks although I am not sure how you missed them.

  13. Sweet Jesus, those shoes are disgusting! Why would anyone take a snapshot of them? Is she fucking nuts? Why do I ask questions for which I know the answers?

  14. I literally LOLed when I saw this shit on her blergh. What prevented her from changing out of those stank shoes before going to the airport, or even before checking in and going through security? Walking to your departure gate isn’t a pageant show.

    The juxtaposition here is also really telling… she can’t decide if she wants to be the Madonna (cuddly pink socks) or the whore (filthy streetwalker pumps).

    • She’s a hard workin’ bidnesslady who needs comfort and sleep on the plane, dammit!!!!!

  15. Yuck, even worse than the plane is the airport situation, taking off those gross stinky shoes, putting them in a bin and sliding them through security. I would be so embarrassed but not really because I would never wear foul shoes, ever. What. Is. Wrong. With. Her? What?

  16. I’m grossing myself out by writing this, but I think that revolting stain on the back of the right shoe is from a blister that burst and bled.

    How dreadful.

    • Oil picked up from car floor mat, I’ll bet (had same thing happen to me / my shoe when something had leaked from under the dash) & it was only on my right heel (position of foot on pedals, etc).

      I imagine that she was in the same rent car all week, w/ the same filthy floor mat ~ she’s probably packed shoes just as nasty in w/ the wrap dresses that will be re-worn in a day or two, independent of dry cleaning.

  17. Good luck getting them back on again Julia, your feet will swell during the flight… shouldn’t such a well traveled person such as her know this?

  18. Okay, so, tonight, my roommate and I thawed a whole ham we had sitting in the freezer since January, and it leaked ham juice all over our (upholstered) kitchen chairs and the floor and it was so bad that we’re throwing the chairs out.

    This picture is way more disgusting.

  19. Will she stop?! It’s making me mental! Everytime she goes somewhere, or returns back from there, she adresses the place like it’s a person. I cannot even type an example because it makes me want to crush rainbows. And the split infinitives and the !!!!!!! Arrrghhhh! If I had a friend who uttered one hundredth of her arched aphorisms, or phony baloney over-adjectived phrases, they wouldn’t be a friend for long. Despised her with the cheerleader ticket gawker video and despise her now. ZERO growth as a person. I yearn for the day when she gets it. (Deep cleansing breath) But dammit, is LOST making up for this vacuous idiot? I love Libby and Hurley.

  20. guys, we’ve devolved. we’re now just making fun of julia allison’s shoes. there used to be skits. there used to be satire. there used to be humor.

    i’m an og. an original rbns’er.
    i think i’m done.
    this is so personal. so petty.

    • Julia Allison is so petty, that’s the whole fucking point.

      There is nothing where there’s nothing, and there’s nothing again. Julia! Circles within circles.

      • At the risk of entering into a thread kerfuffle, flatface – who has been consistently hilarious and insightful as a commenter for a long time now – has a point.

        And, you know, even if you disagree with his / her assessment, she / he has pretty much every fucking right to comment on what he or she perceives as a decline in quality content. I’m sure many commenters agree and I’m sure many don’t and I’m sure most could not care less. Why berate flatface for having an opinion? Why dole out passive aggressive, unsolicited criticism on the way this person writes? It makes everyone commenting here look petty / weird / defensive / rude when people who express a dissenting view are jumped on.

        And a lack of capital letters could be seen as post-modern. Or FINE BECAUSE THIS IS A COMMENT THREAD FOR A REBLOGGING SITE, NOT SOMEONE’S GRAD SCHOOL THESIS. CAPITAL LETTERS. EXCLAMATION POINT!

      • “And a lack of capital letters could be seen as post-modern.” LOL forever and ever. But the rest of PRC’s post, I agree with completely.

      • Things should be better after that, though. It was JABs at her most manipulative.

        She came on here and threatened and lied. Typical. Also, the going dark for two days with no explanation of her contractual agreement that forced her back to blogging? She’s a user and I can’t care if people make fun of her stupid shoes or her stupid writing. She deserves it.

      • “contractual agreement that forced her back to blogging” = a) a promise to dadster to keep pretending to blog to provide cover for him to keep paying for her rent and travel and b) agreement with meghan to keep blogging for a few months after meghan leaves to cover up the fact that NS was a failure of epic proportions

    • Um. . . ok, opinions, whatnot, but I don’t see how this post is personal or petty. Unfunny, maybe, but personal or petty? No. Plus those shoes really are fucking disgusting.

      • Right, because pre-Julia chat, there was never any shoe snark. What is flatface smoking?

        As someone who has been known to cling to shoes way past their expiration date, I feel Julia, I do — but those things need to be thrown out. They are stankass.

    • As this is a reblogging site the material can only be as good as the source material, which blows. I would imagine it’s difficult to be witty with the same old boring material to reblog

      • It is indeed. Some days it is just so goddamned boring and repetitive. And reminder: this is a mere pasttime for us. We have real jobs and lives, and we are not professional comedians. So cut us some slack every now and again instead of eviscerating us for the odd post you don’t like. We don’t like all our posts either. Or all of your comments. But we soldier on!

      • I’m entertained right now, Flatface ~ after all, isn’t it very presumptuous &/or Julia-like to make these pronouncements to the world-at-large? 🙂 Would hate to see ya go anywhere, BTW.

        Personally, I would feel very ‘flouncy’ if/when compelled to broadcast my departure because my entertainment demands weren’t being met (unless I was canceling a paid subscription & was asked for feedback as to ‘why’).

        Ah well. Back to regular programming now.

      • Yeah. JaBa’s antics lately have been especially boring. Not that they are any less stupid or annoying, it’s just the same old redundant bullshit, which is kind of a snooze-fest after her epic cray-tacular blowout of a few weeks ago. This isn’t the fault of the mods, of course, it’s just hard to write a critique on a show that has gone into reruns.

        Maybe that is JA’s plan; bore us to sleep so we stop telling her what a redonkulous freak she is. She has just about cured my insomnia.

  21. Things seem to be getting a little heavy. I’d like to draw everyone’s attention to a recent post at homebase involving Julia, that other one, and a pirate backstage at the Betsey Johnson show i.e. Halloween Adventure store on 3rd Avenue.

    This should bring us all back together.

  22. I think Julia is getting paid for exciting certain responses in blog readers.. she is helping some kind of market research company. We are helping her make money!!!

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