Julia Allison’s Life is Like A Family Circus Cartoon

Dad: Hmm … Maybe I’ll drive over to the Golden Gate Bridge!

Me: And do what, exactly?

Dad: Look at it!

In that it is never funny and you wonder why it even exists.

50 COMMENTS

  1. Julia Allison & NS Family Circus is the virtual equivalent of that dentist office “Highlights” magazine … skim it a bit & before you know it, you’re all but begging for a fucking drill to be whirring away in your mouth.

  2. Did Dadsers stay at the Parikh condo in SF last night or did he, too, head down to FB/Palo Alto/Randi’s?

    This is one weird family….

      • I like Jordan more than most of you jealous haters, and this Bud Light shit is pissing me off. JORDAN that is so GROSS. If you like light-tasting beers, go get a Franziskaner or a Stella or something for fuck’s sake you’re not an overweight redneck.

    • I’m loving the theory that they’ve been spending a lot of time together alone and eating because they smoke up together. So I’m sticking with it. Pass the bong, Jordo, pass the bong.

    • yeahhh….

      that’s not a very fresh perspective, missy!

      Why are you and lasagna so grumpy?

      Here’s a tip:

      Quit and Leave

      Is she going to sue you for plane tickets you did not purchase?

      Are you making any kind of money at NS or is all shill city?

      SShhhh…some bloggers have real sponsors who, in return for ad space, supply bloggers with swag to give away, provide them gratis product for exposure on their blerghs, link to their blogs in online marketing campaigns and have what is called “quid pro quo” (did you skip latin at dalton/harvard?) relationships.

      It’s called blogging. Look into it.

  3. What is a skin tag?

    Skin tags are common, acquired, benign skin growths that look like a small piece of soft, hanging skin. Skin tags are harmless growths. Some individuals may be more prone to tags (greater than 50-100 tags) either through increased weight, part combined with heredity, or other unknown causes. Males and females are equally prone to developing skin tags. Obesity and being moderately overweight (even temporary increases) dramatically increase the chances of having skin tags. Normal weight individuals with larger breasts are also more prone to skin tags under their breasts. Some small tags spontaneously rub or fall off painlessly and the person may not even know they had a skin tag. Most tags do not fall off on their own and stay around once formed. The medical name for skin tag is acrochordon.

  4. “Okay, you sit down to read your paper, and you’re enjoying your entire two-page comic spread, right? And then there’s the Family fucking Circus, bottom right hand corner, just waiting to suck. And it’s the last thing you read, so it spoils everything you read before it.”

    “I hate it, yet I’m uncontrollably drawn to it.

      • Whoa, all these years I’ve been misremembering that as a Kevin Smith quote. You know, back from the era when he actually made funny movies, wasn’t yet morbidly obese, and didn’t dress like a 12-year-old. I don’t know how his wife fucks him. I pity her every day of my life.

      • Mini, it might as well have been – Go was one of the wave of movies that tried to ape Kevin Smith and Q. Tarantino.

  5. Why is she having a romantic getaway in S.F. with Dadsers instead of PK anyway? It does not make sense. Why didn’t Momsers, Britt and Allie come too?

    • Right? Must be business-related. My guess is that Snowflake (god, I can’t with that nickname) and Dadsers (even worse) are NS’ sole / main investors at this point and probably the only people keeping this turd circling.

      So: I blame them. Honestly, after hearing about the way Julia’s parents were acting at her birthday party, I hate them as much – if not more – than Julia for effectively creating a bloated, pink, big-headed monster and unleashing it onto the world with a tiny tiara atop its head.

  6. julia allison: 24 hours until Aspen. Counting the minutes. 6 minutes ago via Echofon

    Um, 24 x 60 I guess erm uhm let’s see that’s ahh um 0 times anything is 0 so I put down 0 and um 4 x 6 is 22 and then 6 x 2 is easy so that’s 22 + 120 OK I’ve got it now 144 minutes phew.

    • Twitter is over capacity.
      Too many tweets! Please wait a moment and try again.

      Our girl is back!

      • *bracay

        Bracay: (n.) An expensive trip to a mediocre and obvious tourist destination (see also: St. Barths, every section of Los Angeles devoid of minorities), usually on someone’s else’s dime, while unemployed. No less than 700 pictures are to be taken during a bracay, only 4 of which are chosen, airbrushed, and uploaded online. 1 (one) of these must be of one’s feet. At least 2 ( two) must show the inside of an airport, preferably a luggage carousel.

  7. Oh my gah, Meghan’s mom is nicknamed “Snowflake.” I mean you can’t make JA’s life up, I’ll give her that.

  8. OT: Finally got around to actually reading Szish. I’m loving her. There’s a lifeblog I can get behind. WTF is she doing with NS??? I can’t deal with the sidescrolling and the everpresent mention/reblogging of the NS beyotches.

      • If you click they get a page view. If you don’t, it doesn’t. But assuming they’re smart enough to use a resource like Feedburner, which I’m sure they are, they know how many feed followers they have and can use those in #’s to present to whoever needs to be duly impressed.

    • With one exception, everyone I know who worked in mass media five years ago is now doing something else for a living, including the humble Ms. Driver here. Those who never went to J-school have only an inkling of how fucking galling it is watching Julia Allison go on the radio to discuss how she’s “invented first-person journalism” that involves “frequent use of the pronoun ‘I'” that will be like “if your girlfriend went to the Olympics and wrote you emails about it.”

      Oh, no, Julia says, it “won’t replace third-person journalism.” It’ll just attach itself to traditional mass media like a lamprey to a shark. Guess what, lamprey? The shark is starving to death, in part because of parasites like you sucking the life out of it. Good thing you found a whale (to use Vegas parlance) to prey on. Unfortunately for your ass, the whale doesn’t appear to like it enough to put a ring on it. Perhaps he spied your copy of “Marry Him!” on your nightstand, read the jacket copy, and decided that he didn’t want to be the one you lovelessly settled for? You always did worry that your bookshelves would frighten men off. (By the way, it is not possible to “minor in personal-development,” with or without the spurious comma.)

      I don’t think that either Meg[h]an had anything to do with the underlying page structure of NS. According to the NS’s index page’s source code, the author was “Cactuslabs,” which is a couple of guys in Auckland, New Zealand. Recall that the syllabus of Julia’s Learning Annex course includes a talking point that amounts to, “You don’t need to learn to code or pay a user-interface designer a living wage. Just look pretty and get a boy to do it for you.”

      I seriously hate her at this particular moment for her pointless birthday jaunt to my hometown, a place I’d love to return to but have been priced out of. Because the industry I was part of has collapsed. Have I mentioned that in the last three paragraphs?

      Ugh. Put me to bed.

  9. Did anyone else notice this tweet:

    The entire NONSOCIETY team is in the Facebook cafeteria! Drinking cappuccinos, eating ice cream, registering domain names. HOLLA!
    4:53 PM Mar 1st via web

    uh…. burn on Szish

    • Yeah, my point: BITCHES WERE SENT TO DETENTION.

      Seriously, who the fuck is relegated to a corporate cafeteria?

      Specifically: They weren’t given a conference room, weren’t camping out in someone’s office, weren’t even given an empty office.

      The were segregated like mad cows.

    • Was this the “meeting” that Jordan was so nervous about? Was sitting in the FB cafeteria the whole reason for their cross country trip? God, these women are so sad.

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