Loser Barbie Begins Personal Appearance Tour

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Julia Allison, when not busy making Lady Macbeth look like Florence Nightingale, spends her time flouncing about in dresses made specifically for high school freshman to wear to their OMG FIRST FORMAL.

The bright pink Betsey Johnson Valentine’s Day dress I ended up choosing from the three Prom King bought for me.

First of all this is the one on the far right that I knew she would pick, because she has to have all pink, all the time. God fucking forbid she put on a red dress on Vulvapound Day like a grown up lady woman.

Second, just admit you are homeless and living with Penis Krushed:

Anyway, suffice it to say, like most events Prom King plans, it was an intricate, thoughtful, perfectly executed hit.

I’ll post the rest of the photos tomorrow, because I’m staying at his place (which I probably do 6 out of 7 nights of the week since I returned from St. Barths).  He’s already in bed, and I sort of promised I’d start going to sleep at a more reasonable hour. (HA)

Goodnight!

So…basically you’re living with him? Is Marshmellow there with you, or did you just leave her at home, or send her home with dad and your pb teen furniture to chicago?

Third…does anyone else sort of not care about this guy anymore, or am I just really tired? Probably just tired, right?

116 COMMENTS

      • The time stamps on Twitter “tweets” might not be accurate, but her whole exchange about PK’s belated Valentine’s Day surprise doesn’t add up. At 3:30 she’s writing how he told her to get to his place at 5:30 and when she walked in there were 3 dresses on the bed. Sounds like that means his bed. But in the photo of the dresses on the bed, it looks like her old bed at the Pink Palace. Then she’s tweeting about how awful Hair is at 5:30 and how they’re going to leave at intermission. So, how could they meet at his place at 5:30 and then be at the show at the same time? It was prob. a matinee that they went to anyway, which would have been at 2:30 or 3:00. By 7:30 she’s saying she’s “happily ensconced” in a corner booth at the restaurant, but from the pic. it looks like she’s posing there well before the restaurant opened for dinner — which is 5:30. Plus they left the show at intermission — which would be 4:00 or 4:30 if it was a matinee and 9:00 or so if it was an evening performance. So, this whole thing either didn’t really happen, or was simply staged for something else. The timing/logistics just don’t make sense. You’d think she would be more careful about those kinds of details.

      • Do the timestamps vary, based on the readers location?

        “He told me to arrive at his place at 5:30 … I walked in to find rose petals in the hallway, and a card telling me to go into the bedroom.” 5:31 PM Feb 20th from web

        It’s FROM THE WEB that I find more telling … was she running back to his / her laptop to Tweet? Or was she sitting at her laptop all along, scripting, until an astute RBNS reader called her out & she began tweeting from her phone?

      • “You’d think she would be more careful about those kinds of details.”

        Are you kidding? Most of her Twitter followers don’t have two synapse to rub together to even conceive of such discrepancies, never mind trying to piece them together. All they see is DRESS! LIMO! DINNER! DRINKS! TEE-HEE!

      • For what it’s worth, my twitter stream shows her first “He told me to meet at his place at 5:30…” coming up, from web, at 6:31 pm. It also sounds like she showed up at his place w/o him there, picked the dress, then ran downstairs to meet him at his limo (with the Geoffery Beene TJMaxx tie).

        What DOESNT make sense is her 7:30 “which dress should I wear” tweet…if the show is at 8? And by 8:30 she was tweeting about how much she hated Hair. And many tweets in the 8:20 range about how great PK is, meaning she was tweeting all of THAT from the audience, too. Then they appear to have been at the restaurant from 10:00 pm – ??

        Also, she’s now Tweeting at Kevin Rose about her birthday bash. Cue total insanity high gear.

    • Maybe Wallet Thing was OMG! SO! ROMANTIC! and paid to close down the entire restaurant for the night, just for his Special Snowflake?

      • I think they just went to an unused room for the shot, so she could do the skirt pull without being attacked by angry crowds.

      • I see what appears to be lit candles & possibly daylight under the window blinds, IE: for this time of year, before brunch service?

        What time of day, but more importantly, WHICH day was this taken?

      • Err uhm oops ~ by ‘before brunch’ I meant ‘before dinner’. In my neck of the woods, (CST), it’s dark by 6:15-6:30 p.m. ~ what time does night fall in NYC (EST) these days?

  1. ‘Vulvapound Day’! LULZ.

    Remember when she twatted this:

    @jordanberkow – Um, I stayed at home cutting pink hearts out of wrapping paper and pasting them on pink bags. Ch-ch-changes indeed.

    and this:

    “At home (well, at Prom King’s) in pink PJs & fluffy socks, resting my aching feet & waiting for my Valentine to arrive home from Italia.”

    Also, when you look at the VDay ‘gift’ video she posted on her blergh, she clearly is not at The Pink Palace. I’m guessing she shot it at Wallet Thing’s apt. So that clearly is her ‘home’ now. I think she’s dropping enough clues for people to figure it out, so everyone will be all OMG! You moved in with Wallet Thing! When are you guys getting married???!!

    Also, on VDay night, she twatted this:

    “Prom King just got home from the airport with a dozen red long stemmed roses, a pink scarf he picked up in Italy & chocolates. Wow.”

    But now she is saying “he did send me a dozen long stemmed rose.”

    Maybe you need a spreadsheet to keep track of your lies, Donk.

    • Yup, there’s quite the smell of bullshit about the PK story (just like her FW coverage “for NY Nonstop”: her “videographer and editor”, David, is, I do believe, Mr. David Pierce, a.k.a. DJ Mayonnaise Hands, a.k.a. the dude who keeps spamming RBNS with her videos at or near art events.)

      • Indeed. What does she mean when she writes that David “uploaded” everything into “NBC’s video queue?” What does that even mean? There are no Julia Allison videos on any NBC sites that I can see. Plus, what’s the point? Fashion Week is over. The time to upload was last week, like, an hour after each show happened. Everyone who”covers” fashion week knows it has to be done quickly or it’s old news. Even a wrap-up of the week should have been over and done with by now. Her “on air” work is the equivalent of a “vanity press” for writers.

    • I noticed that immediately. Last night she said he sent the roses and on V-Day she said he got home from the airport with them. What the hell?

    • Also, the pink scarf has turned into a mug.

      Shoot me, but I really like that pink dress, and I give her credit for wearing some decent shoes with it (though I have no idea whether nude heels are appropriate for evening wear).

      • One more example of her sloppy “reporting” skills “covering” her “date” with Prom King: She says he told her to meet her at his place at 5:30. But later says he picked her up in a limo with champagne. Also: Sat. performances of Hair are at 2pm and 8pm. So, if she was Tweeting about how horrible the show was at 5:30 and OMG they’re taking off their clothes! around 6 or so, then she wasn’t at Hair on Broadway. Just sayin’…

      • Her revisionism really escapes me. I mean, she should know that people here read her rubbish, if no one else does, and that she will be called out on her lies/constant story changes.
        Next thing we’ll know is that she has been with Hipster Lawyer all along and that Prop Thing was nothing but the product of delusional cat lady brains.

  2. Isn’t she wearing the ‘Real’ YSLs she claims were purchased for her by a ‘fan’? And now we see her wearing them on her ‘special’ date with Wallet Thing.

    You think he was the one who bought them for her?

    Something ain’t adding up here. Can’t put my finger on it, but something is rotten in the state of Donkmark.

    • The simplest explanation would be that she’s his roommate and beard.

      Odd she wouldn’t mention him meeting Dadsers.

      • I thought that, too. Dad came to town, but didn’t meet your new boyfriend? The ‘boyfriend’ you are now LIVING WITH?

      • i find it creepy that she drops her life so quickly and moves in with this guy. i mean, it was only a few weeks ago that she was “choosing” between him and some other idiot. where is her sense of self? doesn’t she want her own space?

  3. “…it was an intricate, thoughtful, perfectly executed hit”

    Does she read any of her own bullshit? I seem to recall that one-third of their date was a clusterfuck. It boggles my mind that he thought Hair would appeal to her.

    • Yeah, if I spent the first half of a Broadway production bitching into my mobile phone about how execrable it was, then flounced out during the intermission with my apologetic date trailing behind me*, I should hope someone would call bullshit if I later described the evening as a “perfectly executed hit.”

      * I would never do this. In contrast, I caught Kevin Smith’s “Silent Bob Speaks” tour while he was in town, before he became famous for being a fat and angry airline passenger and was regarded as a mere filmmaker. I got bored and offended early in the evening**, but I knew that my friend had coughed up a lot for the seats and I assumed that at least my friend was enjoying himself and I didn’t want to interfere with that. I sat there quietly for three goddamn hours while a morbidly obese man dressed like a fifth-grader screamed about hockey. That’s what respectful grown-ups do.

      ** I enjoy Smith’s movies, which is why I went to the Q&A. But when he’s directing, Smith’s ego is not nearly as monstrously visible and overbearing as it is when he occupies a stage solo, unscripted, and in-person.

    • A few RBNS Cat Dwellers have mentioned Millionaire Matchmaker so often that last night I watched three episodes I came across on Hulu…

      Interestingly, date-maker Patty tells a rich dude to determine every last detail, down to what the woman wears (& so he sends her a red dress in a box), to have flowers, limo, etc.

  4. Can Katrina give Julia some fashion tips? I would kill to see Katrina do a What Not To Wear within NonSociety. That would actually be good content.

    But of course that will never happen.

  5. The whole thing is bullshit, none of the stories add up. A boyfriend of 2 weeks lets you move in? Hell no, boyfriend of 2 weeks go running to the hills.

    I’m getting the Donkey Rage, she’s so disgustingly audacious using Time Out’s and NNN’s names in vain, and should be called on it. And then this endless making stories up, I guess because she wouldn’t have any content otherwise.

    I want to file a complaint with the Lie Police.

    • I would believe it if they were head-over-heels in love or if it seemed that they were a good match.

      My cat-boy asked me to move in with him after three weeks of dating, but it was clear from the beginning that we had strong chemistry, shared values, goals, and interests (unlike the Donkey and PK).

  6. This bullshit date was in NO WAY thoughtful or intricate! It was insanely generic & every component could have been gleaned from the first about.com suggestion provided by a google search.

    And that dress is HORRIBLE. She looks like “Miss Pepto Bismol 1997.”

    And I can’t EVEN begin to discuss the stumpifying pant suit, which she seems to think makes her look all “prophesional bidnast ladee” since she’s worn it a gazillion times in the past few days.

    AND PLEASE JUST BE HONEST WITH THE READERS OF YOUR STUPID BLOG JULIA!!! What’s going on with your living situation these days? What are all these “pilot” shoots for? Why was your Dad in town & why did you make him meet every single one of your “friends” for meals? Why did you have the sadz at the beginning of the year? Who paid for that trip to St. Barths? Why was TMI cancelled? Are you really working for NBC New York? Who really bought you those “YSL” shoes? Why don’t you write anything anymore but still credit yourself as a TONY columnist? Who took care of Lily when you spent the night at the Four Seasons? How are you and NonSociety making money these days?

    Sorry, this shit sends me into total donkey delirium. I clearly should just stop reading her BS blog, but I need a distraction from only having my cat (Mr. Mistoffelees, who loves HAIR, btw) to talk to.

      • Poor creatures (dog & cleaning person who has to clean up after she’s been left alone for 18 hours).

  7. Oh noeeessss, Foolia! Pink highlighter explode all ovah your white dress for Vday wedding to Drag King! Sads.

  8. Can’t get over the fact that she posed in this Widdle Miss Cutesy Wootsey style in her pink marshmallow prom dress in front of her Boyfriend.
    So we can only assume he thinks this little girl routine is cute. Which must make him….odd, shall we say?

    • “Although she loaned me all of the pieces I’ve worn this fashion week, I think I’m going to purchase a few of the pieces when I return them to the showroom tomorrow. ;)”

      Nope. She definitely would have mentioned if he bought her jewelry. Looks like she dressed her dog up in loaner jewelry and is returning it to the showroom. Nasty.

      • Or she’s still trying to manipulate him: ‘ Never mind WT, l’ll nobly buy this cheap tacky shit myself’…Don’t forget, JA lives by ABC: Always Be Closing.

  9. “Actually, that’s a good question for all you happy marrieds: when & how did you know The One was “The One”?
    about 14 hours ago from web”

    Oh donkey. If you have to ask, he’s not The One. But sorry you had to settle and you didn’t get your Ivy League whirlwind romance a la Jordan!

    • Seconded, shamoolia. I thought about writing her a long email about “the one” and how love actually works … but what would be the point??

    • I know, right? As twee as it sounds, it comes down to ‘you just KNOW’. You don’t need to convince or twitter crowd-source yourself into it.

      If he can’t see that he is a crappy consolation prize in her eyes, then he’s asking for the abuse. Good luck, man.

  10. I’m sure the Ranjana Khan people will be absolutely THRILLED to discover dog fur stuck in the prongs. DISGUSTING.

    • At least the dog looks somewhat groomed in this picture. But yeah, nice way of treating loaned accessories as well as the fluffy white accessory she keeps torturing.

  11. Someone out this punk already!

    Secondly, why can’t donkey wear her hair straight? I am getting sick of the pelts and extensions. Ew. Just think how dirty they are.

    • if by prom night you mean miserable attempts at intercourse, interrupted only with vomit or crying then yes, yes he is. what a lucky man.

    • And then she gets back out of bed to stay up posting pictures of herself on her blog until 4 a.m. He’s so lucky!

  12. When I step back and look at it the past 4 months I see episodes on a story board. Julia couldn’t get a reality show on Bravo so she is producing, writing and starring in her own version of SATC 2010. This is Julia’s fantasy that festered in her stale imagination until she said “G-dammit I will do my own reality show and market it myself”. As an old who has seen, done and produced a fair amount of crap for public consumption I call bullshit on Julia’s RomCom. That said I must say her shit is being turned into comedy gold by RBNS.

    • Love your handle!

      And i totally agree.

      But sadly the Jank has no eye or ear for storytelling. This daytime drama is a mess!

    • Agreed. Thinks someone will turn her screwy footage into a reality show and hand her a check when they see her craptacular ballet-prom-child pagentry dress and hear about her omg so romantic love life and omg so glamorous FW work.

  13. Julia: obviously a Pisces (from “Born on a Rotten Day”)…

    “Pisces has often been called the dustbin of the zodiac. Mental hospital is a closer description. On your trek around the karmic wheel, you’ve not only picked up everyone else’s bad habit, you’ve managed to forgo most of the good ones.

    You are as obtuse as Taurus, anal as Virgo, and as wishy-washy as Libra. You blather as much as Gemini and Sagittarius put together, but your conversation is limited to instant replays of all the boring details of your crisis-laden life. When you want something you can knock down more little old ladies than an Aries fighting to be first at a Macy’s white sale. You are as freaked-out as Aquarius, obsessed as Scorpio, and whiny as a Cancer with a sore throat. Your penchant for theatrics makes the most flamboyant Leo look reticent, and your opinion of yourself is higher than that of a Capricorn who’s just foreclosed on a Swiss bank.

    You also have the special-to-you-alone gift for viewing life from a perpetually unworkable slant. You are so afraid of conflict that you would rather eat worms than confront a problem. But that’s fine with you because it gives you the excuse to lie on the coach all day, flipping the remote and sighing.

    The cliché of the lights are on but no one’s home was no doubt first used to describe a Fish. You will fade out in the middle of commuter traffic going seventy, wake up in the next town, and have absolutely no idea how you got there.

    Every Pisces is addicted to something. The obvious dangers are booze and drugs. However, serial romances, food, TV, and excessive sleep are also ways you avoid dealing with reality. You are probably a lifetime member of every organization with anonymous in the title.

    Pisces have every psychological and psychosomatic illness known to man and participate in medical research trials more often than any other sign. You love the attention and use the twenty-five dollars to buy wine. You are so afraid of confrontation that trying to carry on a conversation with you is like talking to a bobble-head doll You can’t make a decision, no matter how inconsequential, and have the social presence of a doormat. But, you do hate to see suffering. That’s why you wear dark glasses.

    Your favorite TV shows are the Jerry Lewis Telethon and the PTL Club. You love to cry along with fellow Fish Jerry, and to self-righteously bash those lacquer-haired televangelists.

    As the last sign of the zodiac, you’ve walked in every other sign’s shoes at least once. And slept in all their beds. You charm the pants off anyone — literally. However, you are so reality-challenged that you don’t want a life, you want a movie.

    Pisces make good actors, faith healers, vice cops, savants, and drag queens. You are also psychic; however, you are so self-absorbed that the only future you care about is your own.

    Yo don’t do realism. Instead you prefer to view life from either your internal set of rose-colored glasses, or from a state of altered consciousness. Either way, you drift through the years with your head in the sand, preferring your fantasies and dragging behind you an endless line of losers you call family and friends. But that’s OK with you, since it gives you an excuse to drink and bitch.

    You are the chameleon of the Universe, and the shades of every other sign flutter through your soul. Because you are so acquiescent and hate conflict, you are invariably underestimated. Once you learn to quit underestimating yourself, that quality is precisely what will give you the edge over every other sign.”

  14. I HATE the dress pull! It does not make you look slimmer, it makes you look like a moron. I can’t imagine being a friend taking her pics all the time. like “no.. I didnt get this pose right, let’s retake”

  15. The whole Prom King thing really could just be some stunt to get a pilot/column/guestblogging gawker spot.

    She’s pulled this kind of shit before.

    • If it is a stunt, it’s an incredibly lame one. She can’t even keep the basic details straight. I keep thinking it’s some kind of elaborate prank being pulled on her, which would be deliciously awesome. There is just something a little too off about the entire thing.

      • Wouldn’t a prank mean that there’s an even bigger psycho than JA out there? Scary.

        Still, something’s definitely more than off about this entire Prop Thing thing and regardless what the story behind it is, I see yet another all time low coming.

    • I’ve lived here a long time. I consider myself at least somewhat fashionable. And I can say hands down that dress is completely inappropriate and gauche. Holy how fuck. It’s a dress fit for an 6 year old’s princess themed birthday party. She’s unhinged.

    • Heh! This — she must appear to be a contest winner where ever she goes.

      Win a pass to FW! Win dinner and a show in NYC!

      The passersby are left to guess from where.

  16. What a mess.

    Some thoughts:

    Dave is totally DJ French’s Mustard. The camera kit is the same in both photos from FW and that awful art show she clomped around at;

    That dress looks cheap and awful. I pity the fool who wasted good money on that bc of the “Betsey Johnson” label. It is flat out fug;

    Prop Thang isn’t very tall. He also has womanish hands;

    I wouldn’t put too much stock in the time stamps of the tweets. Here on the east coast, they played out fine. There is no conspiracy here;

    But! Why lie about the VD gifts. Was it a mug or a scarf??? HMMM!? WHAT WAS IT!!!;

    Finally, Oh my gosh Prop Thang is LAME for letting her move in so soon!

    Let’s break it down, shall we?

    She arrives home from NYE in Chicago heartbroken and with devastating news on the home front. Translation: rejection from HL, eviction from Pink Padded Cell;

    She is sad, her heart hurts. She is staying with Meghanaise. They go Saint Barts, she comes back and voila! Problems solved. Prop Thang was there to fall back on. She has a boyfriend now AND a place to live! Lucky!

    It is no wonder he had to take the to the Four Seasons for VD — he already needs to spice things up bc she has moved in to his GD house!

    One thing i can say for sure — she is working with some dangerous narrative arcs here and i don’t think they play out well for our heroine, Erica Kane Redux to the 3rd degree.

    • Exactly. The timing is just so convenient. But this is a woman who moved to LA after college to latch on to a fiance whom she never had any intention of marrying, then dumped him and latched onto a married man and moved to NYC and lived in his place , most probably rent free, for a year and a half after breaking up with him. This is her pattern. I predict a ring within a month. What a gold-digging asshole.

  17. That picture was taken at 2010-02-20T12:29:09-05:00 – In other words, in the daytime on Saturday, not at night. The timeline of her entire story is bullshit. This is disturbing on many levels.

    • This would depend on whether she actually went into those settings on her camera and properly set the date and time.

      Have you done that with your camera? I know i haven’t done that with mine…

      I am just saying, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

      Yes, she’s a lying bitch, but i don’t see conspiracy.

      Besides, the truth is probably much more tragic. She seems to be booted from the Pink Insanity Pad and now lives with PK. After zero weeks dating…

      • Yeah my camera is totally set on 1/1/05 but it’s highly unlikely that the time/date would be just a few hours off from the actual.

      • If the shot was taken with an iPhone, they time-sync automatically over the network. You don’t even have to reset iPhones for Daylight Savings. Well, iPhones do that whether this picture was taken with one or not. Sorry about the misplaced conditional.

      • I dunno, S,CV …

        For the infantile Julia Allison whose very umbilical cord is a camera cable, I’m inclined to think her camera’s time & dates-tamp would have been set current some time ago & promptly forgotten about.

        ‘Til it bit her in the ass. Like now. Maybe Anon will find another pic whose date & time origin isn’t in question & make the same determination of whether her stamp is off by a few.

        Just some thoughts.

      • Yeah, i dunno. I copied the pic to my desktop but don’t know how to sleuth out the dates and times of other people’s photos.

        It was shot with a Canon camera though and the red eye settings were on.

        That was all i could find out.

  18. Anyone feel like addressing Jordan’s bout of “HAY DID YOU GUYS KNOW I’M MARRIED AND IN LOVE AND OH HAY HERE’S AN OLD PIC OF ME FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN MY CUTENESS”?

    • Yeah. The amount she spends on her hair yearly is apparently more than double the amount she’s willing to spend on her engagement ring.

      Not trying to judge people for not being able to afford a Tiffany boulder but c’mon. Can’t you justify the cost of a wedding ring over like..20 years or was she not thinking of that?

      • What gets me is her dismissing normal engagement rings merely because HERS is different. And when the hell is she going to STFU about her engagement and wedding? Isn’t a marriage supposed to be about, I dunno, THE MARRIAGE?

      • Pardon my ignorance, (cuz I don’t fauxtograph myself), but I have a
        LEGIT QUESTION: Is it on her right hand (right as opposed to left), or is the pic reversed?

      • Well, seeing as that ring is too chunky to be worn on the same finger as a wedding ring (assuming she has one) maybe she’s wearing rings on both hands.

  19. That woman looks utterly ridiculous.

    Julia will be 45 years old (she already looks it) and wearing sparkly pink dresses.

  20. WOW, i’m actually surprised. julia just tweeted at the designer about the skirt she wants for her birthday (surprise 1: it’s… NOT any sort of surprise what she’s going to wear) and the skirt is $60 (surprise 2: she’s really not going to make PK shell out big for it?). not a surprise: it’s pink and a-line. jeeeesus.

    • She is expecting the designer to go @juliaallison don’t worry! I will have a courier hand deliver a free skirt of your choice to your exact location anywhere in the world so you can have it for your birthday! Oh Julia Allison wearing MY SKIRT! AN HONOUR I CANNOT BEAR

      She’s so fucking transparent.

      • Which is EXACTLY what happened:

        megan_nielsen: @juliaallison No worries! if you purchase it today, I can mail it today, which would get it to you by Thurs 🙂 xoxo

        Gawd. SO. PREDICTABLE..

    • I don’t understand why a designer would want to lend clothes for a party where the dresscode is going to be “Complete Knobhead”.

  21. Is she crying in that picture? Or did she just finish crying? Also, is PK her dad?

    I don’t spend anytime on her site, but I saw the pictures of her with her dad recently and with PK on VD, and do they look like they have the same body shape?

    • Dadser appears only slightly taller than Donkette, unless the weight of Lasagna hunching his leg distorts his stature, & his head is considerably smaller than that of Princess TuTu.

      Prop Thing appears quite tall & his head is an enormous globe complete with chameleon qualities to color-coordinate & accessorize with every woman’s fashion statement.

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