Julia Allison’s Mom Still Putting Up With Julia Allison

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Julia Allison’s mom Nancy or Jillian or whothefuckever her name is, is still putting up with her daughter slobbing about being unproductive.

Shuffling around in Men’s PJ pants, a giant sweatshirt & an enormous bathrobe complaining. I’ve officially turned into my own grandpa. about 8 hours ago from Echofon

While most of you are packing it in to get back to pretending to work until after New Year’s, Julia is “shuffling” about her parents’ omg ON THE FUCKN LAKE house being useless and depressed as the insignificance of her own existence sinks in. Not to worry, Momsers of the Enabler Task Force to the rescue!

My mom made tiny pumpkin custards tonight!! Despite my still feverish temperature of 102 (it was down to 100 this morning, and now it’s back up, blehh), I ate some and it was Deeeeeelicious. She’s an amazing cook.

Awwww. You still has a fevuh. Poow wittle Juwia. Can mommys make you a custards?

How is it possible that a supposedly educated and wealthy family allows their progeny to flop around in a glorified slanket with a brain melting fever for what, 4 days now? And what kind of asshole goes to a crowded gathering with a disease? This is how people get legionnaires, assholes.

I’m convinced that the wah I’m sick is a ploy to avoid the dutch uncle her dad intended to toss her this holiday. She has played sick before and canceled going home.

I have the flu too, bitch. The sick of your fucking shit flu.

43 COMMENTS

  1. OK, instead of reading ‘dutch uncle’, I read ‘dutch oven’ and the visual had me gag. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_oven_(practical_joke)

    Seriously. How inconsiderate with the spreading of her ick. See… if any of her former class-mates were regular readers here, they would have been forewarned. (or maybe there are some former classmates who do and just stuck to the other side of the room spraying a shield of lysol)

    • I know if i found out that someone had come to my reunion sick and then I went back sick on a plane to MY job, family kids, etc I would be APESHIT. How self absorbed can one person be? Ass.

  2. i read quite an interesting article back in 2005 (i think) about people who call women “cooks” and men “chefs”
    i think julia should read it too.

  3. *Tiny* custards? For values of tiny greater than large?

    Also, love those smelter’s gloves used for kitchen mittens, momsers. Can’t be too careful around ouchy hot surfaces, now, can we?

  4. “Dr. Mom fed me dandelion tea – which she actually made from fresh dandelions – after lecturing me on the evils of antibiotic overuse. Noted!”

    Hello, you dumb whore baskets, the flu is a VIRAL INFECTION and shouldn’t be treated with antibiotics ANYWAY.

    It seems like Momsers and her insane ideas about food and medication are partially responsible for Julia’s craycray (no sleeping pills!).

    On the plus side, maybe Jankles will lose some of her face/fingers bloat, since dandelion tea acts as a diuretic.

    • I liked “Dr. Mom also made me gargle with hydrogen peroxide. She’s going to natural remedy the CRAP out of this whole “flu” thing. about 13 hours ago from web ” better. Yeah. because peroxide is way better than tea or listerine. WTF

      EDIT: Sorry, I’m not a doctor, but the good ole country doctors always told my parents not to use peroxide on wounds or sore throats. Maybe the research has changed now.

      • no it has not changed..

        Sore throat change acid level in mouth..ie drink some pickle juice in glass of water..or tomato juice or orange juice..

      • Fresh, edible flowers are available year-round at many groceries ~ look in the produce section. Making Dandelion tea isn’t unusual or hard & she’s had nothing exotic bestowed on her.

  5. May I just say that I have gotten the fucking flu and it is goddamn miserable? The flu is one of those things you can never accurately remember. Then you get it again and it’s like, “Oh shit, it IS fucking awful.”

    In no way do I believe Julia is actually sick. She may have convinced herself but I see little possibility of actual, debilitating flu symptoms in her and her frequent posts/inane antics.

  6. Mom and daughter need to stop diagnosing. If she still has a fever of 102 and a horrible sore throat? Check for strep vs. flu. She may actually need an antibiotic and not dandelion soup BUT instead of getting medical attention, she whines and moans and cries. Listen, she’s lucky to have medica insurance, many do not! Every other “Lake” house in Whilmette is owned by a doctor.

    I don’t understand the DAYS of groaning without medical treatment.

    • seriously, jing. she needs to get herself to a doctor if any of this is true. she’s had too high a fever for too long to keep throwing “natural remedies” at this thing.

      • On the contrary, I have no idea if she’s sick or not. But she did put off her trip to Hawaii (a shill trip, I’m sure)….

        Anyhow, my point (and I believe Melissa’s also)…if you got something this serious going on, get to a doctor.

  7. Since when does having a fever have anything to do with wanting to eat? Sometimes when I’m sick, I eat a house. Sometimes, I don’t. Either way, it’s hardly a newsflash – and the same goes for the next installment of “OMG! My mom is the cutest little housewife ever!”

  8. “Bubonic plague symptoms appear suddenly, usually after 2-5 days of exposure to the bacteria. Symptoms include:
    High fever
    Smooth, painful lymph gland swelling called a buboe
    Commony found in the groin, but may occur in the armpits or neck
    Pain may occur in the area before the swelling
    Chills
    General ill feeling (malaise)
    Muscle pain
    Severe headache
    Seizures

  9. OT: but I wonder if Julia’s latest bout of blogorrhea about her first date EVER (that she can’t even remember details of) has anything at all to do with the fact that the guy is now a photographer/professional retoucher? Makes you wonderrr.

  10. “Bubonic plague symptoms appear suddenly, usually after 2-5 days of exposure to the bacteria. Symptoms include:
    High fever, Smooth, painful lymph gland swelling called a buboe,
    commonly found in the groin, but may occur in the armpits or neck
    Pain may occur in the area before the swelling,Chills, General ill feeling (malaise), Muscle pain, Severe headache,Seizures”

    She’s got a fever, groin swelling ( well, with that golf ball size love button she always has groin swelling) an she’s giving us severe headaches. Yeah, she definitely has the plague.

  11. Nice knockoff Sub Zero fridge. A little less money into Donkey Trust, a little more investment in proper cabinetry and appliances please.

    • it is amazing how ***everything*** is cheap and crappy. I have been in the homes of people on welfare who decorated with Wal-Mart plastic flowers who had more style

    • And why is there a rail on the cheap laminate edge of the island? The more pix are shown of the house, the crappier it looks. Not just bad taste, mean insulting cheap aggressively ignorant and bad taste.

    • My thoughts too. An extended stay in the burbs with the ship-rail kitchen island (woulnd’t that make using it as impractical and uncomfortable as possible?) might have been a good time to, oh, I don’t know, bring Lilly along!!!!? Maybe drop her off there permanently? WTF. Free Lilly.

    • Yea, where IS Lily? Usually when Julia visits her olds, Lily and Langdon get tortured with matching sweaters. Or Julia laughs while Lily practically falls down some stairs. What’s the deal?

  12. Momsers strikes me as a serious maroon. And Dadsers clearly loves the sound of his own voice (remember when he read the “tome” to them for 1.5 hours?). It’s all making sense out the Donkey turned out the way she did…

  13. This bitch is worse than kidney stones.

    Judging from the “I’m on the cover of a cake mix packet” pose Julia gets it ALL from her mother, except for the enormous honker.

    Those tiny custards look like full serves to me.

    She got thru “drinking water”, but she “doesn’t drink” – so why is this remarkable?

    Their house has all the warmth and charm of a group home. Do they live in a clinic or something?

    I did not know what a ‘dutch uncle” was. I guess cos it’s a little bigotty it’s one of those things like the bad words in ‘eeny meeny miny mo” that has been phased out.

    I do know what a Dutch Rudder is tho!

  14. and I just came back to say – what a HORRIBLE house. Joyless comfortless, the house of a truly unimaginative, anal family and that’s one hell of an eating disorder laboratory – oh sorry I meant “kitchen”.

  15. I have never left a comment before but find myself ENRAGED that she puts up twenty posts about a 100-102 degree fever (MEANS YOU’RE CONTAGIOUS) and then went to a high school reunion. Absolutely selfish, irresponsible, and a health risk to others. I have long secretly rooted for Julia to pull it together, but now I think I might stop reading entirely. What a waste of resources and opportunities.

  16. PS. I agree with others – if you have a plus-100 degree temperature for multiple days there is no WAY you have the energy to go to a reunion, much less post about it all the time. She would be sleeping!!!!

  17. OK, this may have already been discussed, but can I just say how SAD the Baugher house/family looks? Meghan and Jordan both looked like they had lovely, unfussy holidays with loved ones. The Baugher holiday just looked forced, clinical and sad. I am thinking there are some very disturbing secrets lurking underneath those forced, posed Betty Crocker photos. Especially when the subtle details (completely missed by Donkey) spell a very different story.

    For as much as Julia brays about the LAKEFRONT HOUSE AND DOWNTOWN CONDO AND OMG MONEY MONEY MONEY, her home and holiday feast looked downright pitiful. Plastic containers? Tinfoil everything? Turkey in a salad bowl? GRAVY IN A CREAMER??? I’m no Heloise, but I am beginning to think Momsers is as clueless and tacky as our Patron Saint of Donkeys. Grandma Baugher is persona non grata. Brother Britt and Allie were very noticeably absent – do you think Allie is finally tired of this creepy, repressed and dysfunctional family?

  18. Those are too TINY custards!
    NORMAL custards have 386 calories ea & NOBODY eats four of THOSE!

    Hey, do ya’ll think Momser wore that same hairdo back in the Nixon era?

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