Donksgiving, Julia Allison Style!

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Julia Allison, new media expert, spent Donksgiving with the olds back in the burbs. Oh they had such a funny funny funtimes! That is until Dadsers demanded Julia explain exactly what the fuck it is she is doing rather than having a real job. No worries, crowdsourcing to the rescue!

Okay, my brilliant techies: my dad has asked me to give a comprehensive explanation of “this social media phenomenon” tonight. Any advice? about 8 hours ago from web

I’m looking for videos, articles, etc that sum up the social media transformation from an outsider’s (older gen) perspective. about 8 hours ago from web

Also, it wouldn’t hurt to look at it from a political or legal perspective (dad is a lawyer with a background in politics). Thank you!!! about 8 hours ago from web

Translation: hey famous media frenemies, justify my lifestyle to my Dad or he’s cutting me off!

While Juju frantically tweeted people asking them to do stuff for her again, Future Lodwick carved turkey and Momsers made cute asides while setting out the paper napkins and plastic dishes of cranberry jelly. After waiting long enough for Daddums to forget his request that she explain what it is she does, Julia donned a bathrobe and Momsers treated us to a pic of the Donkey Konkout:

Britt and Allie either forbade documentation of their attendance for once, or finally decided another Faux Family Loliday was too much and hung out at the pancake palace with Gran.

Yes, we made it, RBNSers! We got through phase two of Julia’s Holibray Express, next stop, Christmas.

90 COMMENTS

    • Did you know her mom made catfish? Because she doesn’t eat meat. So her mom made catfish. So Julia ate catfish, not meat. She will eat catfish because she’s pescatarian, so her mom made catfish.

      *stabs self*

      • I would also highly doubt the stuffing on her plate from momsers was stock-free. Almost all stuffing calls for chicken or turkey stock, unless you go the vegan route and substitute apple juice. So she likely only eats fish, and meat juice.

        And what a sad t.givings. Only 4 settings: parentals, Jules, and the congressman? I’m glad that table was so blessed and full of love.

      • She also claims she “never” has milk. Has she checked the ingredients on the cupcakes she inhales?

      • you know if she read any newspaper regularly she would know that catfish are raised in nasty artifical aquaculture ponds—-very dirty, and b-a-d for the environment.
        She’s very concerned about the environment, remember?

        We all know she’s turning into a sort-of sad adult, hanging out at her parents, letting momser (or the maid)
        do her laundry. Can she move to LA now?

  1. OT, but I have some advice for Meghan, geekette and tech expert: turn off Location Services on your iPhone 3g before taking family pictures you intend to post. Have someone explain those funny latitude and longitude measurements to you, in language you can understand, and how if you enter them into google you get not just a map but often a picture of the location to within a few feet. Learning this will help you more than hiring the privacy “expert” you babbled with on TMI.

    I’m amazed her family lets her live on her own without a minder.

    Now back to donkey eats a catfish.

    • Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Flesh. It’s all flesh. I’m not knocking, I’m vegan when I’m not eating a steak but come on. Don’t make a thing out of eating a farmed bottom feeder whilst bray-gging that you don’t eat turkey.

      They both have faces people!!!

  2. So is her family not that into Thanksgiving or something? I just expected more from the gauche Baughers. Like matching sweaters with turkeys on them, giant cornucopia centerpieces, at least half a dozen pies, etc. I guess if Momsers is on a diet, Thanksgiving kind of sucks.

    • From their clothes and house decorating, it looks like her parents aren’t into flash or status symbols — typical conservative ho-hum frugal upper-middle class midwestern professionals. Julia obviously wishes they were something more. There’s an RBNS meme that Julia was spoiled with material things, and I don’t buy that. I’m sure she had nice clothes, but not the stuff on the Vogue pages she tore out and saved. I’m sure they had nice vacations, but not at five star resorts. I’m sure they went out, but not to the latest chichi places. Etc.

      • “typical conservative ho-hum frugal upper-middle class midwestern professionals”

        That’s my family and I like those kinds of people. That’s MOST PEOPLE. I happen to like MOST PEOPLE. I am MOST PEOPLE. Why can’t she be ok with being ya know, like most people?

      • “Why can’t she be ok with being ya know, like most people?”

        Meh, who knows why she has a chip on a shoulder and lives a life of enviable elegance and distinction inside her own mind. It sure seems to be some of kind of illness, since she never changes her behavior when instant karma comes to knock her right on the head.

      • She is today the same girl she was in college: a loser cutting out photos of famous people (their fame warranted or not.. a la Paris Hilton) and hoping that by dint of being “outrageous” (not really, just attention-seeking) she’d get that level of fame or recognition too, and all the perks and freebies that come with it. I really don’t know how boring or irritating you’d have to be to get a reality show pilot ultimately rejected due to a focus group, but Julia is apparently a star in that regard.

  3. Look I’m drinking (SHOCKER) so I’m going to throw some honesty out there. This actually looks like t-day at my family’s house. Wear whatever, plastic dishes. Of course, my parents are in their early sixties and don’t want to drag out the delicate china or do dishes for three hours anymore. With 900 small children in the family, especially.

    The difference being at my parent’s seriously at least 40 people are there. I have 4 sisters, 3 brothers, their kids, my mom’s family has a brother and sister and their kids, it’s a fucking crowd. Everything is cooked in disposable stuff if it can be, or plastic that can be put in the dishwasher and isnt breakable (20 kids under 7, remember).

    So I kind of get why they would go this route. I just don’t get why the Royal Baughers, with four people would go this route, unless they are just like “Fuck it, we aren’t doing shit up just for Juju.”

    • oh, added note: could not be there this year, but obviously there was a long phone call. My Mother enjoys this site and though she refuses to comment she said to say thank you to the commenters and Jacy and JP for adopting me, Happy Holidays to the “ribnessers”, and also “Is THAT what that Julia girl wore? Well, I guess.”

      • omg I love that your mom reads here and totally supports you! That’s hilarious. Shout out to Mama Partypants.

      • har. apple doesn’t fall THAT far from the tree! Think I’m liking “ribnessers.” Also still chortling over “Holibray.” That’s a ribness classic fer sure.

      • Har, apple doesn’t far THAT far from the tree! I’m loving “ribnessers.” Also: “Holibray” is def a new ribness classic.

      • fuck, no idea why first comment did not come thru immediately, sorry for repetition. It’s sort of weird–which is the REAL comment? Gawd I give up.
        Viva mama partypants!

    • We used to have that kind of crowd ~ three generations + asst’d strays ~ the cars for our house took up a third of the block, truly.

      Baking took place earlier in the week & by Wed eve, some serious cooking was already underway ~ on Thursday, from breakfast on, the kitchen was an assembly line of mass production.

      Dinner was usually late-ish, like 3:00 ~ it was entirely up to the turkey ~ when we finally ate, the kitchen table, formal dining table & the little kids tables all had table cloths & china & silverware. Clean-up duty was a low-man-on-the-totem-pole slash pecking-order assignment & ya just rolled w/ it.

      All kinds of fun & drinking & squabbling went on, but the one thing about our Thanksgivings that we didn’t have then, & I love that we didn’t ~ no geedee football game ~ the freakin’ TV wasn’t ever even on.

      • A whole bunch of us wrote a long post on the essential lameness of the Baugher T-Day in previous post… the paper napkins, no china, no silver, no decent food, etc.

      • Just read the replies to what I wrote last night. (Sorry for being ranterriffic! The comments were rubbing me the wrong way.) I see y’all’s point about her always bragging about her money and class, etc etc etc, but still, be kind. Everyone celebrates Thanksgiving differently, there is no right or wrong way.

      • I don’t think it was snobby, it’s actually one of my pet peeves (which is fine, I’ll admit I’m a bit neurotic). I think that there are certain occasions where you should go the extra step, and Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter are those times. Rule #1 of setting a nice table is nothing goes out in a plastic dish or in the dish it came in. I don’t even do that on a Tuesday night at my house, for chips and salsa, or really for any reason. For for all the braying about lake house lake house downtown condo university club you would think the Baughers would have some simple rules for setting a nicer table. I’m not saying they had to break out all of the nice flatware and china, but the cranberry sauce in the plastic Whole Foods container was just sad. And the reason we are commenting on it is because Julia posted the table like it was something to see.

        You can call me a snob if you want. I was raised upper-middle class waspy and that shit would have never gone down at my house. And there would have been wine.

    • I’ve been at Thanksgivings at homeless shelters and church halls when I was a newspaper reporter, on styrofoam plates, with plastic forks and knives, and there was infinitely more joy and happiness in the room than in these photos

    • I think if it had been just Momser, Lodwick Future and JA, that table wouldn’t have surprised me at all. But OMG OMG OMG Congressman Mark Kirk was there! They had a very important guest! If you have guest — one who’s running for the U.S. Senate, OMG OMG OMG — you usually go a bit more out than that, no? A table cloth? Non-plastic serving dishes?

      • I’m not sure he stayed for dinner. Unless that Elijah comment was thrown out there in her efforts to be “funny.”

      • I am a heathen and didn’t even get the Elijah comment. What did it mean? And would you seriously set a fourth place setting for someone imaginary? I assumed the congressman was there.
        His marriage just broke up, he’s an old family friend, etc.

        I cooked for me and one other person last night and we poured gravy out of the measuring cup. I see nothing wrong with that. But if I had guests, I’d have gone a bit fancier, but I agree, holidays are a personal thing and every family does what they feel like doing. Which is as it should be.

      • Elijah’s story and why a place is set for him:

        http://www.sundayschoollessons.com/elijah.htm

        It’s a Jewish/Passover tradition, but in my Protestant family, when we have a holiday no-show we make Elijah jokes.

        Fun fact: a Google search for “set a place for Elijah” currently turns up Donk’s post as the third result. Jewishpeopleloveher dot com!

  4. “Nooooo THE JA THANKSGIVING CURSE IS BACK!! 06 I was in the hospital. 07 I vomitted in the street w @rachelsklar. Now in bed w a fever! WTF 22 minutes ago from Echofon”

    Julia should post a picture of Robin’s copy of “Kitchen Confidential” ~
    (Mommie Dearest bought the catfish on Monday, I’d bet money on it).

  5. Again with the Annette Funicello lip thing! I wonder if she got her lips over-injected and is trying to hide it.

      • It’s definitely a new thing, the lip-smushing. Wonder where she got the idea, and exactly how she thinks it improves her appearance. I tried to do it at home, and it feels really weird.

  6. Well, I hope her fever won’t stop her from attending that reunion! Or from heading off on that mysterious trip to Hawaii, about which she’s been remarkably silent.

    • Her mom is adorable at times, if we forget her enabling this complete idiot. Another thing is she appears to be more in shape/thinner than Julia which I wouldn’t doubt grinds ole Jules’ gears. 😀

    • Their combined braying though is like being in an echo chamber. Other than that, Julia looks older than her own mother.

  7. I love how diligently she protects her family’s privacy. It’s so touching!

    Thanksgiving chez Baugher looks like a regular, casual dinner at my house. Nothing wrong with that, obvs, but I expected something different from Princess Fail Flaildorf of the Lakefront House.

    • I think Thanksgiving at their place looks quite empty and sad. Going through the motions, looking the part … but no real heart. It’s all a bit clinical and by-the-numbers. Makes me wonder, for the hundredth time, what the hell the story is THERE. Something in the milk ain’t clean.

      • As far as holiday dinners go, it looked plain depressing. If it was a regular Thursday night, I would’ve been like “whatever”. I don’t know what’s going on there, but it looks sad.

        It’s not about their lack of nice silverware or cranberry sauce in a plastic dish (although, COME ON, MOMSERS!) I just don’t get any… holiday vibes from the pictures. I don’t know. It doesn’t look like they put any effort into it.

        It’s not like you have to have a fancy feast to have a good time. It’s about the holiday spirit. Last year I spent Thanksgiving at a tree farm in the middle of nowhere (accompanied by the howling of coyotes). We had aluminum trays, a margarita machine and smores, but it was super fun, festive and wonderful.

        Blah. I can tell I’m entering my “omg, I feel so bad for Julia” mode.

      • You’re only as sick as your secrets, and we know how sick JAB is …

        I don’t know, it’s like they’re actors pretending to be a family. Very disturbing. Add in JAB showing off her titties for daddy and it’s all deeply creepy.

      • Well, bear in mind that this was a spread for only three people, only one of whom doesn’t live there and who also happens to be their daughter. My mom only kills the fatted calf when the place is crawling with guests and/or there’s someone at the table who needs impressing, like a fresh fiancee.

      • Mini Driver, I didn’t mean the place settings, table, etc. I think each family should celebrate how they see fit. But there’s no celebratory feel, or even a sense that these people care for one another. It’s all very off.

  8. Does anyone know why she’s a pescatarian? She obviously has no qualms about manhandling meet. I used to be a pescatarian for two years and I did it just because fish was always a healthier alternative, but then I realized that I fucking missed bacon. It’s not like she eats healthily, so why won’t she have steak with creamed spinach every once in a while?

    • Moral superiority. Also so she can feel better about dumping thirty tons of carbon in the atmosphere because she has to fly cross country to LA for a shitty halloween party and various other ridiculous reasons.

  9. That couch picture is so fucking faked. She’s obviously holding the dog down so her mom can take a ‘candid snooze photo’.

    • Ha! You can tell he’s trying to back away. I’m sure he’s thanking his lucky stars Momsers decided to keep him.

    • yeah, she sooo sick and yet has the strength the post the Baugher Thanksgiving hilarity copiuusly.
      She’s looking for an out for the reunion – or an explanation to give for her how fuck appearance.

  10. Who the hell puts thier turkey in a salad bowl?? For all of julia’s braying about how classssssy the Baughers are, they sure come across as kind of cheap and clueless. Which is fine, but sort of pathetic when compared to julia’s gauche bragging.

    Also? Cleavage for the family? Ew. I think the Baughers are hiding some very deep dark secrets behind their posed “perfect” pictures.

    • Yes to all and exactly. It all smells funny. The daddy cleavage is gross gross gross. Like PP said in another thread, my dad would tell me to go put some clothes on and wash my face

      • If I showed up like that, my entire family would laugh me out of the dining room… and then ask if I had a date, like between the second and third courses…

  11. All of Julia’s pictures look so incredibly forced, posed and JOYLESS. Even the dog looks miserable and as if he’s trying to wiggle away. There is something very creepy and off about it. Especially that her parents seem to go along with the charade.

    I just think it’s so funny (and VERY sad) that for all of her braying about how rich, perfect and loving she insists her family is, the photographs tell a VERY DIFFERENT STORY. One that can’t be photoshopped.

  12. Has anyone noticed that her mom is actually very pretty? If I thought I would look like her one day, I would leave well enough alone but obvs JA can’t stop screwing with her face.

    Btw, WHY, WHY is she wearing stage make-up and showing major cleavage at a family dinner?

    • I would love to know what the official shrink commentary on that is: wearing stage make-up and showing major cleavage at a family dinner

      Surely it’s an official illness

  13. I had to go to her site b/c I didn’t believe that the Baughers would use plastic plates……!! No, they did not. Yes, they used paper napkins, but that’s kinda typical suburban.
    I must say that Momsers is looking quite nice. Trim and age-appropriate.
    So silly for Julia Baugher to make that dumb video of the leftover meal. Wow, they made a turkey! Paradigm shifting!

  14. Catfish? You would think that professional courtesy would prevent her from eating other bottom feeders.

    and the ‘rents too cheap to spring for salmon? nasty.

    It was 80 degrees here yesterday and we had the swimming pool notched up to 90 and the jacuzzi 101. 13 people were enjoying themselves enough that there were no time for us to take photos. It goes to show how joylessly uninvolved in her own life that she has the time to pose with a turkey she’s not even going to eat.

    I don’t care what napkins they used, but Momsers table looked like crap in the grand ancestral eating disorder tradition.

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