Julia Allison Finally Perfects The Myspace Pose


Julia Allison tv supahstah, has now abandoned all pretense of thin-posing, and now apparently just shoots her stupid dressing room photos from the iHubble. Seriously. Think you can get the camera any higher before you cock it to 45 degree angle? Anyway:

Walking home from the shoot, I stopped at the Fifth Avenue GAP to pick up a few holiday shirts, including this one – which is a solid $200 less expensive than the one I bought at Bergdorf’s – and just as nice. Sigh.

Julia would also like you to know that she spent over 200 dollars on a geedee shirt. A fug shirt. A fug lumberjack shirt.  Also, wtf is going on with her neck? Does she ever use cream on it? It looks like my aunt Moisha’s and she’s about 57 years old.


  1. she spends so much money on ugly meaningless poo -its BONKERS. Read a decent book Poolia, eat proper food! she is enraging me today. It makes my head hurt.
    i’m going back to the couch to read my william boyd novel and go back to feeling smug about my life.

    • Can I join the smug party? I had an interview today an hour away, am dying to get employed so I can buy Christmas gifts for family, and I have to see her buying shirts I actually kinda like.

      But I have my dignity, I have a real career (even if it’s in stasis for now), and I worked for what I have. And she’s still a donkey. DONKEY!!!!!

  2. Yes, I’m an arm-chair psychologist with no training whatsoever, but her shopping is becoming more and more manic and a symptom of some sort of mood/mental disorder. She literally NEVER STOPS buying shit. She just bought a $200 shirt just like this, but she needed “a few” more?

    Also, wtf is a “holiday shirt?” Are you 12?

    The gap is dead to me now. She keeps ruining things for me. I know, it’s the Gap shut up. But I liked the Gap for basics.

    That looks is not good for her. Tucked in and hoisted up. As per usual. Ugh. She’s so boring. And yeah, what is that pose??? Oh god I hate her.

    • And notice how she shops after a particularly hard day for her, even though she couldn’t wait to get home? She needs the high. She’s a shopping lunatic.

      All the pretty pretty holiday garb won’t cure what really ails you Miss Julia. You are alone, and let’s face it, your “career” leaves much to be desired. Come now. Set aside some of that Sony money for a rainy day. I think you have enough blouses.

      I predict this spree is not ending anytime soon. Can’t her parents stop her?

      • It’s sad that she puts so much emphasis on doing herself up with clothes and makeup and yet does it SO WRONG. She’s approaching an age where most people have either settled into their loves or at least figured out their life plan. She’s just going to stand put more and more as some hollow, gaudy holiday bauble in the Walmart clearance bin of life.

  3. Ok, I can’t stop commenting, sorry. Does she really think this outfit looks good? Is this what she does? Comes home and tries on new outfits, alone?

    First of all, are those the new whore boots? With a pleated skirt that is way too small on her? And happens to be sitting on the largest part of her waist? And she looks sad, and 45? Make it stop.

    JEANS!!! THOSE BOOTS NEED JEANS!!!! Not Catholic schoolgirl pleated skirts! You are not doing porn!!!!

  4. oh my gah!!! i just noticed her blue tal-oons . wowsers -so so pretty.
    i remember when someone said she reminded them of a crazy fortune teller lady with super long hair, sante fe inspired jewellery and flowing garments -this is bringing it all back.

    • I’m originally from LONG ISLAND of all places, and I think even the townie girls who stayed behind stopped getting tips in like, 1998.

      • That’s in reference to the talons. Of all the loony things about her, it’s one of the hardest to believe. She still has long manicured nails. I can’t believe she’s not really from Jersey or something. And a housewife.

      • does she not know about the sq-oval ?
        and surely with hands like that a discreet french manicure would be better -make the fingers look longer
        what am i saying dopey would prob have them four foot long with BRIGHT WHITE on the ends

      • Seriously, short and square. That’s how it’s done nowadays. Unless you are yes, either a jersey housewife, or ghetto-fabulous. And they get them shits airbrushed, they don’t fuck around.

        I used to wear Blue Lee Press On Nails, when I was 9.

      • It’s amazing how, no matter how “busy” she is, she always has time to get her nails done.

        Jesus Christ yellow talons? CUT THEM!! YOU LOOK LIKE AN AGING PROM QUEEN!!!!

      • She can’t even spell Hunter S. Thompson. She is not worthy to polish the man’s gravestone with her lacquered, false nails.

  5. Ok I’m not trying to be mean here, but is her ass expanding while she stays sort of the same on top? RAFT ASS!

    No really, how does that even work??? Is the angle of this pic or that skirt? Because her lower half is really ballooning lately, like, noticeably. I don’t understand how that works.

    • my sister has that same kind of a figure. she’s a two up top but a very voluptuous ass. and she could teach Julia a couple of things about owning it!

    • sometimes i find it hard to buy button up shirts that fit me correctly because when it comes to the bust area there isn’t enough room and the buttons pull, leaving a gaping whole exposing my bra. so i just buy the next size up.

      not only is this pulling on her bust, but also her waist! (maybe due to the fucking weird/unnatural pose)

      her netball skirt does nothing for her raft ass 🙁

      • Look at the arm holding the camera — I’m surprised the seam didn’t give way, it’s so frigging tight.

      • OMG. And this is the GAP, where everything runs big. Guaranteed it’s a small, and she can’t accept that her upper arms are now hammy and she CANNOT pull off a small anymore. What a sad pathetic hag.

    • I have the same thing. I was just talking about this with my mother. I need a suit for interviewing purposes and I am a size 2 on top, and a 4 or more likely now, a 6 on the bottom. In skinny jeans, I could go up to an 8.

      But guess what? I wear skinny jeans! I don’t shy away from my ass. Because NEWSFLASH! Bubble butts are sexy! She hides the best parts of her body and exposes the worst parts. Cover those cankles and wear tight-assed jeans.

      But short skirts are an ABSOLUTE no no. I don’t wear anything short, ever. It looks terrible on pear-shapes. This is like Wardrobe 101 shit you learn when you hit puberty.

  6. Does the front of that hideous fucking shirt have ruffles on it?

    She can’t. fucking. do. anything. right.

    Cozy plaid flannel shirts are never. ever. meant to have ruffles. Nor are they meant to be tucked into belly-button high, hope-it-hides-my-wide-lardy-hips skirt. Cozy plaid flannel shirts are for really skinny hipsters who lack body fat and need the warmth, and for lumberjacks.

    When did her taste get so bad? It really did not used to be this bad. She used to just wear wanna-be WASP clothes which fit her to an extent.

    This is getting absurd. What is a mother for if she doesn’t tell you you look like crap? Momsers, can you please place a call?

    • That’s the thing though. Her “lardy” hips are probably actually sexy. She has a small-ish waist and ample hips and ass. It’s a classic hour glass figure. Why she hides it under those terrible, awful poofy and/or too short skirts, I’ll never figure out. It’s not flattering. She could probably rock a pencil skirt. Yeah, she needs to lose a few, but she’d still look hot I bet, body-wise. (the face is a lost cause at this point)

      • It’s not hourglass when her boobs aren’t that big at all, unless she’s wearing the push-up. Even then, her hips are significantly larger than her shoulders, making her look like a bottle of Heineken.

      • Um, that’s not true. My boobs aren’t huge and I have a small waist and hips and an ass. I don’t get any complaints.

        Anyway. I body snark sometimes, but I think she could be hot if she owned her ass. I guess we’ll agree to disagree. Even if she’s a Size 12 as you are obviously so sure of, so what? A size 12 can’t look hot in a pencil skirt? I don’t believe that. I’ve seen girls larger than her pull it off.

      • You’re a skinny nazi. Lots of guys like hips and ass and don’t think you look like a Heinekin bottle if they are naked with you. I feel sorry for you if your opinion of women is anyone that a size 12 and large on the bottom looks like a beer bottle. Kind of objectifying.

      • No, it’s not an hourglass Jessica Rabbit shape. It’s a sad pear lunch lady shape

        Whatever your shape, dressing right for it is something most people figure out by now

      • Boobs don’t have to be huge for a woman to have an hourglass shape, but her hips and ass are way out of proportion to her top. And an hourglass is about being in proportion.

        She’d get close to resembling hot if she owned her ass, hid her legs and bingo arms, and highlighted the waist. I’m not even considering the damage she’s done to her face.

        Of course a size 12 can pull off hot, but Julia doesn’t. I highlight the size 12 thing because she keeps insisting that she wears 4s and smalls, when that is just not possible. I also like to mock the few people here who seem to have an emotional investment in Jaba wearing 4s and 6s, instead of larger sizes.

      • Whatever. Some of you people make me actually wanna defend the girl. I don’t think she’s fat. I think her upper arms are kinda getting a bit out of control. But sorry, given the average size of a woman in this country is what, a 14? JA is NOT fat. She’s just terribly insecure. And needing to lose 10 or 15 pounds does not equal fat.

        But some of you people are just plain hideous with this shit. She has incredibly bad style and she needs to own her body shape, not hide it under ill fitting clothing. But I still say she is not fat and could be hot. Watch the Armani Jeans video. If she think she is OMG!!! FATTIE!!! and not at all hot in that, I think you have a pretty fucked up notion of what women should look like and what is sexy.

      • Wow, JFA, you have some serious body issues. Not to mention attacking me for shit that I didn’t even write, but somehow hits your hot buttons.

        I’m hardly a “skinny nazi,” but I’m not going to pretend that she doesn’t have a very outsized bottom compared to her top half just to make myself feel better.

        She doesn’t have a pear shape, but an extreme pear shape. I know a woman who has the same disproportionately bottom-heavy shape, and when she dresses to downplay it and play up her better features, she looks great. But when she sometimes wears shortish, pleated skirts, she reminds me of Jaba, although she’s in better shape overall. And she’s a truly nice person, whose goodness shines through, instead of Jaba’s inner fugly.

      • She may not be fat compared to the national average, but for her height and build, she’s not thin. Definitely flabby, the mark of a lazy slug who never exercises or even walks more than a couple of blocks a day.

        I’ve never called her a fattie, but I won’t pretend that she’s tiny either. And she should have gone up a size in the jeans in that video, in my estimation.

      • Thank you for psychoanalyzing me. Actually you are dead wrong. I LOVE my body, and I guess in your eyes I could be not a “pear shape” but an “extreme pear shape.” Of course, this is all YOUR OPINION. You state it like it’s fact. Is there some waist to hips to ass quotient that makes it “EXTREME pear shape” as opposed to “REGULAR pair shape?”

        Who the fuck cares anyway? “I’m hardly a “skinny nazi,” but I’m not going to pretend that she doesn’t have a very outsized bottom compared to her top half just to make myself feel better” And I don’t do that to make myself feel better, thank you. SHOCKINGLY, I actually believe that a woman can be an “Extreme pair shape,” still wear form fitting dresses and skirts and jeans, and look good, and not like a Heinekin bottle.

        I have standard body issues like anyone else at times, but all in all I really love my shape, and it’s because I have a tiny waist and ample hips/ass. All I’m trying to say is a lot of women and men find that shape sexy. I think this notion of someone being TOO big on the bottom to be sexy is ridiculous. That’s all I’m saying.

        I think she’s not fat. You do.

      • You just whined about me psychoanalyzing you, and then you pathetically attempt to do it to me? Too fucking funny.

        I’ve never called her fat, but you stomp your feet and insist that I did. And now you’re bellowing that I somehow claimed that a bottom-heavy woman can’t be sexy.

        Deal with your body issues and stop taking out your frustrations on me. I’m not going to be your fucking punching bag.

      • Fupa: Where exactly did I psychoanalyze you in there? I’m sorry I don’t see that. I’m not trying to tell you you hate yourself and your body, but you assume I do, for some reason.

        And I guess you aren’t calling her fat, you are only calling her an “EXTREME pair shape” and a Heiniken bottle.

        I don’t have body issues. Keep believing that, because I disagree with you. Good line of argument there.

      • Moving it here where it makes sense…

        It’s sort of hypocritical of you to sit there and comment with the name JULIA’S FAT ASS and then attempt to call people out for calling Julia fat.

        [deleted. not worth it.]

      • As I already pointed out, where you insist that I somehow think of her as fat, when I’ve repeatedly said that I don’t, for one thing.

        I have no idea what your body shape is nor what you think of it. Nor do I care.

        Many women have pear shapes and work with it or hide it very well, but there are some who have bottom halves that are significantly out of proportion to their upper halves. And THAT is an extreme pear shape, like it or not.

        Why can’t I keep believing that you have body issues, but you can keep insisting that I think Jaba is a fattie AND that bottom-heavy women can’t be sexy? Doesn’t sound very fair, does it?

      • Ok, the name was a joke, I thought it was funny. I have sometimes body-snarked, and I don’t think I will do it anymore. I actually like fat asses. All I’ve ever meant to say was that I think the girl needs to own her body and stop hiding it and dressing in too-small clothing. I don’t think she’s fat and yeah, sometimes the snark bothers me, even though I’ve also participated in it.

        Do I think I’m better than Julia? I think most people are. I certainly am not trying to prove that to anyone, I’m anonymous anyway. Does it bother me that she is over-privileged and doesn’t seem to appreciate any of it? Yeah it kinda does, and if I bring up my own situation it’s because I tend to overshare when I write, and I’d dealing with a hard time and so it sorta sucks to see Julia spending money left and right and not really deserving much of anything she has. I honestly think I need to step away from it for a while because it’s getting to me. I come here to laugh but yeah, it does make me angry so I am obviously over-invested right now and should take a JA break.

        And if I talk too much about body-shape it’s just because it’s something I feel strongly about in general, women accepting themselves etc., not that I’m trying to prove how fabulous I am. If it came off like that, i’m sorry it did, because that’s not how it was meant.

        I didn’t realize my comments bothered you so much.

      • “Yeah, she needs to lose a few”

        “I think she’s not fat. You do.”

        Which is it, Julia’s Fat Ass?

      • Ok, that was in response to PP’s comment, now deleted. If you want to delete mine, feel free, as it makes little sense now.

        Fupa, let’s just agree to disagree. I really don’t have body issues, anymore than the average woman does. And I should not have called you a fat nazi.

      • JFA, I deleted most of my comment because it was rude and not worth having a hammer fight over. I think this whole thread is ignorant and has gone on too long.

        See ya in the next post.

      • I think “needing to lose a few” is not the same as fat. I know plenty of people who need to lose 10-15 pounds, and I wouldn’t consider them fat. Is she out of shape? Yeah, she admits that. But I don’t think that equals fat. I also said she had “hammy arms.” Yeah she’s not perfect, some parts of her really need work. But that also doesn’t equal fat to me.

        It’s all subjective. I admitted that I contributed to the body-snarking at times, and I don’t think I’m going to do it anymore because it honestly makes me feel icky. So sorry if I’m coming off as contradictory, but I think a lot of women are conflicted over this shit.

        I’m really not trying to start flame-wars here.

    • oh momsers -i loved her advice on LA “good luck with that”
      I would dare yulia to spend 30 minutes with my mother -self esteem would be in shreds . “you’re wearing that are you? wouldn’t it be better if you wore this -its cut for “real” people -what is it you do all day? oh isn’t that nice playing with your little friends -don’t mind me its just another brick in my wall of pain”

  7. How is that a “holiday” shirt?

    I think that faux hipster grunge shirts costing upwards of $200 are one of the reasons that Kurt Cobain no longer walks among us. Goddammit, Julia, you fucking tool.


    • Sorry about the double posts ~ these were NOT appearing & I’d decided it’s because one is a .png file ~ don’t know why it delayed for so long

  8. Those hands look just terrible. Even the nails themselves look poofy. She could de-emphasize the bloated look with shorter nails and a natural manicure, but no; apparently she believes that dark blue talons add edginess.

    Damn dumb donkey.

  9. the energy and expense that is put into those nails to look that bad.
    IT IS WORRISOME. No wonder i’m a sad and angry adult.

  10. I really think this outfit deserves inclusion in the JA Worst Outfits of All Time Hall of Fame. I am almost considering emailing her to try to talk her out of wearing this in public. Even I don’t hate the bitch that much to see her embarrass herself walking the streets in this. I hope someone else intervenes.

    • ohhhh big call my top 5
      Easter outfit
      La vie en rose party dress
      Seaworld ensembles
      pagoda dress
      DVF spoty coat
      ** bonus: black jumpsuit & dancers bun
      who am i kidding i could easily name 20 more equally as bad outfits

  11. I had that black, pleated tennis skirt (from Patricia Field) when I lived in NYC. And I loved wearing it with a turtleneck, tights and boots IN 1994.

  12. Maybe she’s one of those secret shoppers who get to keep clothes in exchange for evaluating service. That would explain her complete lack of style and her bizarre wardrobe.

  13. She’s really at the post-post gasping end of this plaid trend shit. and can’t pull it off anyways. The photo is totally Frankenstein’s monster (momster?).

  14. Ha! I can still see the H&M on these bags, no you didn’t just buy a bunch of Jimmy Choo stuff you cheap hag!


    PS: the H&M Jimmy Choo line is one of the worst looking designer capsule collections I’ve ever seen, good luck working that crap on your bloated frame.

  15. She needed to hold the camera there so that we could appreciate the complete and total fug that is that outfit.

  16. Does anyone else think that Julia has a majorly troubling shopping addiction and massive credit card debt? I don’t think she made that much from the commercial and she always seems to go on these shopping binges when things are particularly shitting or boring in her life (which is like, all the time). I think she’s dead broke and buries her emotions in shopping just like she buries her emotions in food. It’s very similar behavior – the lack of impulse control, etc.

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