Julia: Single White Female

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Trying something a little different with my hair this evening, before dinner with Miss Meghan Asha in Brooklyn, and my Georgetown girl friend Kristin’s birthday party!

PS. Yes, yes, Jordan was my inspiration.  OF COURSE!!  🙂

Would anyone be surprised at this point if she had a key to Jordan’s apartment, swiped one day when Jordan wasn’t looking, and is about to sneak into the apartment late at night and blow a sleepy Kendrick, who will assume, due to the pigtails, that it’s Jordorable, home early from London?

Also, rather than emulating her, I am guessing Jordorable would prefer Jackles didn’t post “reader e-mails” on her “life cast” saying how boring she is.

70 COMMENTS

  1. WHY ALL THE SPACKLE???

    Also note the three necklaces she’s wearing, which she previously did, claiming inspiration from Jordan then, too.

    It’s very sad. Julia has no idea who she is.

  2. sad thing is, its a cute look on jules. When I first saw it though i was like “trying to be jordan, I see”

    • it would be cute without the stage makeup. I wonder how many hours of her day are spent applying, touching up and staring in the mirror. I know she’s lazy in some ways but I sure as hell wouldn’t put that much work into my appearance.

      • Yes, the makeup is still bad.

        ugh when I put half as much makeup on as she does I feel caked and HATE it.

      • There is a slight possibility that the back of her head does not resemble a hairy buttcrack. That’s the most positive comment I could muster up.

      • And it looks lovely on you, my dear Sacred Scrapbooks, very natural.

        Would you settle for a glass of the Dowager Lady Ursula’s homemade gooseberry wine?

  3. I just watched the latest turdisode of TMI Weakly, wherein JAB is also sporting a Jordan-inspired look (Grimace blazer, orange sidebraid). Lots of nose rubbing and twitching going on there, too. Also, the content sucks and is worthy of derision, but then you knew that.

  4. Someone mentioned this earlier, but it is quite hilarious how Jordan is gleefully eating her way through London while Jackles is obsessing over food and egg whites. Nicely played, Jordorable.

    • So true and if Julia would only give the “I’m going to start a new diet and exercise regime” a rest, no one would call her out on her weight…..well maybe it would lessen a tad.

      Someone seriously has to make an end of the year check list (or check not list) of all the things Jules promised to do or write and never did.

    • Jordan’s post on her clothes shopping is also quite nice:

      “At TopShop, I briefly debated buying one of the two minidresses pictured above, but ultimately decided that they’re a little too Pretty Woman for my taste, if you get my drift. “

      • I would have preferred “Pelty Woman” but I’ll take what I can get. I shall repay Jordan for this amusing bit of stealth bitchiness by giving her a page view today. 🙂

  5. So this is what she looks like without the pelts? Not bad, actually. She’s definitely trying too hard but at least her hair looks sorta cute.

  6. So. Much. Makeup. It’s all I can see when I look at pictures of her, look at the color and texture of her chest vs her face, gross. Such a greaseball.

    She’s the most uncreative person to walk the Earth. She reads thigh highs are in (probably here, knowing her) and buys the cheapest pair she can find despite the fact she’s short and um, generously portioned with um, sturdy legs. She copies everything and everyone is around. She’s 28 years old and has no mind of her own. She must be dreadful to spend time alone with, I really do feel bad for her. It’s one thing to do some shitty things or make some bad decisions in life, it’s so different to not have the emotional or mental capacity to grasp what is going on around you and how to be responsible for yourself. Sad little twatmuffin this one.

    • She needs to get rid of the headband, or at least position it so it’s going across her forehead, Pocahontas style.

      As Tim Gunn would say, “That’s a whole lotta look.”

  7. Sometimes I really wish Julia could just be herself and be cool. She’s not ALL bad and has everything in the world handed to her. But it will never happen.

    I had this friend in college who totally single white femaled me. If I dated or liked a guy she’d start calling them (as “friends!!!!!”), she changed her major when I changed mine, twice. It was just on and on, if I liked a band…suddenly she “discovered this band” she LOVED and acted like I never mentioned them. Kind of stupid college shit. One day I confronted her over the phone (she asked what was wrong because I was clearly annoyed with her) and she was like “What? no way!! I made all those decisions on my own!”. Even my mom was like “you need to break it off, girl!!”. I eventually did, and we still have some mutual friends and she tries to spin me as the evil bitch but they all know she’s nuts. It makes me wonder not only about how sad it is that Julia is so unoriginal, but also about Jordorable…why isn’t she putting her foot down on this bullshit! Especially after the extremely thinly-veiled “your skinny blogger friends are boring” post. I’d have cut a bitch (right out of her thigh-high pleather boots).

    • And it’s so unusual to find this behaviour in a woman of 28. Everyone plays around with their image when they’re young, but she’s almost thirty and doesn’t seem to know who she is. It’s really sad.

      The only person she mentions on her blog who sees through all the bullshit is Dan. She should hang out with him more.

      • Julia’s look isn’t “influenced by” Jordan, it’s a copy of Jordan. She’s been copying her look since she first met her. Julia doesn’t experiment and modify her style, she co-opts other people’s styles and characters.She is always trying to be someone else, Charlotte from SATC, or a Gossip Girl character, or a Halloween costume. The only difference now is she’s trying to be someone who’s she knows instead of a fictional character.

        I think she consciously chooses people she wants to be like and tries to adopt their outsides whole cloth because when it comes to her own insides there’s just no there there, pardon the mangling of the famous quote.

        What I really can’t believe is that she openly does this in front of Jordan and broadcasts it on her blog. It’s so creepy you’d think she’d be embarrassed!

    • Yea, I agree. I’ve been in a similiar situation (with a creepy ex girl rooomie) and it’s not something you really stick around for. My guess would be that’s it’s still a pretty new relationship for Julia and Jordan, and Jordan is probably in that “is this bitch serious?” phase. They also “work” together and I have a feeling Jordan is trying to build an audience and some connections then jump ship, so she’s probably trying to buy some time and placate the donkey.

      • Yes, it’s still early days.

        And I have heard that Kendrick is not a fan. And so if the husband you adore is warning you and not at all sold on your new friend, eventually you will heed the warning.

      • do have good intel that kendrick doesn’t like the donkey, or is it anon commenter rumor? that would be some amazing info!

      • It is second-hand, and yes, an e-mail from someone with a fake name.

        Could be totally made up, as some of these often are, but then again when you see the expression on his face in some photos with donkey, you wonder ….

  8. OMG these urban outfitters ads are like kiddie porn and sexualizing children is sooooo gross. BTW check out my pigtails!1!!

    • LOL true that.

      also, those models have boobs and kids dont have boobs, therefore =/=kiddie porn, am i wrong here??

    • Women who are less attractive or equal to Julia are to be described as “gorgeous” and “stunning”. Women who are more attractive than Julia are “too skinny” “kiddie porn” etc. Pretend your an insecure 7th grader and she makes more sense.

    • She 1st copied the pigtails just four days ago, dressed as a schoolgirl w/ her brand of slut all over it http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/238324395.

      Funny that she’s catching so much flack over the kiddie-porn comment ~ she doesn’t seem to have original thoughts & in all probability, she was parroting someone else ~ she gives no indication that she’s even capable of distinguishing between slutty / non-slutty & childish / non-childish where clothes are concerned.

  9. seriously, if on halloween she had posted this pic as “i went as Jordan!” i’d be like Hahaha wow thats pretty good. but on a normal night out—that’s Creepy. what if you were out of town and checked in on a new friend’s blog to see they dressed up AS YOU……i’d be freaked the fuck out.

      • I get this vibe a bit also. Knowing that she had in the past been with a married man who left his wife for her, I would be a little nervous especially since Julia has openly said she thinks Kendrick’s hot.

    • The multiple necklaces is something a lot of people do — but I have to say, on NS, it’s kinda one of Jodorable’s trademarks. For Donkey to start copping on her style like that… Single White Female radar should go off for sure.

      SAVE KENDRICK!

      • I somehow have an impression that Jordan is very confident in her relationship & that she has the best laughs over supposition here, as if Julia could be any realllll threat, yeah riiiight.

        Hopefully Kendrick laughs too, that or he’s throwing up in his mouth a little every time Jordan reads him this shit, ya never know. Hey, is Bulimia contagious?

        SAVE KENDRICK!

  10. Julia reminds me of a Barbie in regards to her ‘costume changes’.

    Doctor Barbie, Rock Star Barbie, Teacher Barbie = Hipster Julia, Halloween Julia, Cupcake Julia.

  11. As a resident of North Brooklyn, this actually offends me. Julia – I was at the hipsteriest shit you could possibly imagine earlier this evening, and no one was wearing Forever 21 earrings with mall necklaces, a Gap henley and 2 pounds of Wet n Wild eyeliner. Next.

  12. She doesn’t look bad here, but she doesn’t look effortless. Why is everything with her so forced. It must be exhausting to be her.

    • And she seems to want congratulations on doing every little thing in life. Wow, I wore my hair in pigtails. I need a standing ovation. Very bizarre.

  13. This is really OT – but it seriously pisses me off (more than anything she does) when, right around the holidays, SHE CHANGES LILLY’S NAME from Lilly to Snowball. Are you kidding me????

    And doesn’t she sometimes refer to the poor abused creature as Marshmellow (obviously spelled incorrectly, that grammar enthusiast!!)? Marshmellow, Lilly, AND Snowball?

    Why, the dog seems to have a different name for every one of Julia’s personalities!

    • I don’t know about all that ~ around my house there are at least eight names accumulated for just a couple of cats.

      What she calls her dog doesn’t seem relevant when the poor mutt is so listless & practically comatose anyway ~ I’m pretty sure the little bugger cringes at the sound of her voice no matter what’s being brayed about.

      • Oh I understand that – I do the same thing with my dog – but its more like nicknames derived from the original name – bailey –> b, bubba, bb, etc.

  14. No no no no no! This is not how its done! The hoops,spackle and overall ovedoneness bring it from BK hipster all the way to East LA cholita, all in a very generic Chili’s flavored way. We end up with a look favored by Michigan wannabe banger mall rats.

  15. Theories on what’s in those binders behind her? Print-outs if the boys_I’ve_dated.xls? Papers she did well on in college (written by Momsers)?

  16. You know, way back in the day (the mid 80’s) my sister-in-law and I would get ready to go out and my MIL would look at the two of us and say “Why so much makeup? Your eyes look like two pissholes in the snow!” Only then did we know that we had the requisite amount of eyeliner necessary for entrance into the sleaziest bars in town. Every time I look at Julia’s picture and she has this much makeup on, I’m reminded of the immortal words of my former mother-in-law, (God bless you Jeannie….)

  17. Braids + headband + hoop earrings + multiple necklaces + tons of make-up?

    Also: Those braids are pathetically thin. Guess she couldn’t incorporate the pelts into the rest of the pastiche.

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