Julia: Does Anyone Else Feel Like Slowly Backing Out Of The Room Right Now?

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@acharmedwife – Photo please!! And say hello to bro-in-law “Harvard Harley” for me! :)

This was in response to someone who wasn’t speaking to her, by the way:

acharmedwife: Going as “planes,” “trains,” and “automobiles” with my bros-in-law to tonite’s John Hughes themed party. I’m planes.about 1 hour ago from Echofon

Brief rundown from Planet Donkeys Gone Wild:

Texting her exes, including BootyCall, at 3 a.m. We can deduce Chaz Forman, The Eater Guy and TK were among them  based on blog posts, Tweets of the past couple of days.

Sends “hysterically happy” middle-of-the-night FB message to the The Eater Guy’s girlfriend.

And is now reaching out to Harvard Harley’s relatives.

How fuck.

119 COMMENTS

  1. Julia, I’m drunk. Which is code for “I’m not able to write checks to cover up your disasterous trails of sexing” lile normal.

    Sigh. Sometimes when I’m drunk I realize you’re wasting the Grapefruit money with your wanton sexiness.

  2. How fuck, indeed, Jacy. How fuck, indeed…

    Okay, my fellow RBNS detectives! First one to identify ‘Har Har’ gets one bottle of Boone’s Farm (Strawberry Hill), a piece of leftover Marie Callendar’s cherry pie, and an all-night soak in Dr. Gary’s hot tub.

  3. Don’t be so hard on her. She’s just trying to be nice. Because she is SO NICE. Stay away from the cutlery drawer Julia. SO NICE. Can’t she just acknowledge old lovers back away from that drawer!

  4. I love how we are a fucking family and I stole Donkey from you and you steal CHAZ! from me. I love how the RBNS contributors are all a family.

    Damn gammy moneypants and her evil rob roys and hey when I’m out of whiskey I’ll have your franzia. I’ve lost my biscuits tonight kids.

    HI

    • How fuck, Pants Party, how fuck. Sometimes I wish upon a Lilydog-shooting-star that Julia would stop the sexy times with unknown men, but whatev, I have enough Grapefruit money to keep me and Pants Party in Rob Roys for a long time, so whatever haters.

      THE HAIRY TIMES WERE FAMILIAL when Julia’s mom and I spoke.

      PS: Bingo Night at the Wimette American Legion is the GREATEST! HOW FUCK!

      • You wouldn’t know you wiped them out of glenlivet tonight. Damn woman. The only reason you like me is because I pay for the drinks and don’t ask for rent.

      • Did Familial Hairy Times flounce? Does he/she walk among us as a zombie with a new handle?

        Does my ass look fat in this slanket?

  5. Dr. Gary: we already know who he is. This is what she wants!! She is on some kind of “fuck them all, I am going to out all those fuckers but I’ll act nice while doing it” twisted Donkey revenge fantasy. She “protected” their identities, they rejected her anyway and now all bets are off.

    Don’t fall for it, RBNS! Don’t play into her hooves!

    Next up, by the way? BootyCall! If she hasn’t already dropped a hint about him somewhere.

    • ‘Don’t play into her hooves!’ Best line of the night.

      You are SO right, PeltFace.

      I just figured out who he is. Then I thought, no way in hell I’m gonna out him, since this is EXACTLY what she wants. And I’ll be damned if I play into her hooves. But seriously, am I the last one to know?

      Also: he looks like a big tool. Definitely her type.

    • Thanks for putting into words what I felt when everybody was accurately following the TK trail. “Don’t play into her hooves”. Of course all these blokes’ real names mean nothing to me anyway. She could reveal or “protect” all she likes and I still wouldn’t know or care who they are. She’s still a failed prostitute to me.

  6. Ok my dog is now almost 3, and now he would rather chew his bones after his walk instead of sitting in my lap. Dog owners, is this normal? Hes a chihuahua. Google is no help.

    CROWDSOURCING

    • Seriously, I’m on dating websites (Shut up) and whenever anyone says “Ayn Rand” as a favorite author, I RUN. I don’t care how hot or smart they are. That is a gigantic NO. She doesn’t know this yet? Oh that’s right, it’s because she doesn’t read.

      • Also, she has Ayn Rand on her bookshelves HERSELF (recall her having mentioning this… among her self-help books. Maniac) so perhaps that’s why she’s drawn to them.

      • My mother in law is a huge Ayn Rand fan. We aren’t on speaking terms. Go figure. She’s dead broke so I don’t worry my future kids will go kissing her wrinkly ass for grapefruit money, but she will certainly be their Nutty Granny.

  7. Hey–dying to know who harvard Harley is..on iPhone right now so can’t do any searching…just out him already! It will be done sooner or later someone share please???!

    • I don’t think there was ever any official announcement. I think some people have inklings. I have no clue but I have a friend of a friend of a how fuck, who may know.

      • It is easy to find out who he is. Goggle the girl and find her husband’s name. Go to her Facebook profile and search under her friends and find the only other guy with her husband’s last name who went to Harvard and fits the age range (and also lives in DC). He has a public profile and everything.

        Maybe Julia is going on revenge against all the guys she “protected” with nom-de-donkeys by um…er…oops hinting at who they really are in public.

    • Theories about and what not, but I think it will drive Julia crazy more if we don’t take the bait. Just pretend like she never did it.

    • One of these days, JoBe is bound to slip up and post a photo of him as part of a group, but we’ll all know who it is because he’ll have his Harley in the background, or be wearing a Harley jacket, or be looking over his shoulder to keep an eye out for bunny boilers, or just look like a giant douche, because who else would date Julia Allison Jackass Baugher except a giant feminine hygiene product, really?

      • Oh, ding! Ding! Ding! I better turn in my PhD in Julia Allisonology, because I did not catch that motorcycle motif the first time around. Could she be any more pathetic? You Tarzan, Me Slutty Motorcycle Jane.

      • Well, what’s done is done.

        He looks like the kind of douche who calls other guys ‘bro’:

        Hey bro, what’s up?

        Hey bro, sweet bike.

        Hey bro, sick whip.

      • Ew! Oh god. Your favorite author is Ayn Rand? Really? And you call yourself a hipster?

        And you like Coldplay?

        Goddamn.

      • uh, what exactly is “hipster” about this guy? He looks like the standard frat douche we have crawling all over Austin. And I see what she did there, with the HarHar nickname also referencing his last name. What an unclever bitch.

  8. Wait wait wait! Just hold on a GODDAMN MINUTE.

    IS SHE TWITTER FOLLOWING EVERY FAMILY MEMBER OF EVERY GUY SHE”S EVER DATED?????!!!!! HOW ELSE WOULD SHE EVEN SEE THIS TWEET TO RESPOND TO IT?? (sorry, keyboard stuck in rage mode) (speaking of keyboards, wasn’t it funny that Denton bitched at somebody on Valleywag for not using capitalization in their comments?)

    I think reading the twitter streams of everybody she follows must consume 75% of her day, if not more.

    How fuck, indeed!!!!

    • and by “follows” I mean “maniacally stalks in the middle of the night, fer chrissakes”

      I’m sure you all knew that already.

      LOVE YOU GUISE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • THAT’s why she never gets any work done. or walks lily. or maintains any healthy relationships. between her twitter feed, her google alerts and her obsessive readings here, she’s really got no time. she’s busy!

    • Drive-by, I laffed SO hard at that prissy Denton comment about capitalization and its vital importance to a civilized comment. Talk about micromanaging. On Friday night, no less. Jeez, go have a cocktail and leave the mighty shostakobitch (what a handle!) alone.

    • the denton slap for no caps by that commenter was hilarious. maybe he should spend less time proofreading the comments and a little more time proofreading his “reporters.” things have improved a bit over there with belonskey’s departure, but it still looks like a collection of spelling bee rejects and grammar[fails] at the best of times.

  9. Why do all of these accomplished men date JA?!?! She seems mentally ill from her blog, and yet all the people she dates seem to have their lives in order.

    • Hmmm, just thought of a quote from the Office that might answer my own question!

      Andy Bernard: Every success I’ve ever had in my job or with the lady folk, has come from my ability to slowly and painfully wear someone down.

      • Yeah, they always run for the hills soon enough…But how any guy would even take a chance when he blog oozes with insanity (and not in an interesting of sexy way) is beyond me…

  10. ‘sup RBNS?

    If you’re like me, you’re probably wondering how to avoid an embarrassing situation like getting two-timed by your guy. Here’s a great way to figure out what he’s been up to, when he shows up late after ignoring your calls all night. (Julia, pay attention.)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeR2ORmZh5s

    I like to think that the phone call at the beginning is Jackles going nutso when TK wasn’t returning messages fast enough. (sorry, embedding is disabled, mature language alert!)

    • That’s such a great song, but the chorus isn’t something I would want people to hear blasting out of my car stereo, or leaking from my headphones in close quarters. I think there’s a “clean” version where “Smell Yo Dick” is changed to “Smell That Chick.” Still, hilarity.

  11. I really think she’s actively trying to get a restraining order. Maybe she’s going the Brooke Hundley route of trying to get famous.

Comments are closed.