Julia: Complete and Utter Loser

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The Strange Boomarang Law of Happiness

So, I just sent the adorable girlfriend of one of my exes a facebook message (we’ve talked many times before, so it wasn’t a first time thing) congratulating them on moving in together. When I reread the note, I realized it was a bit … well … “overly nice.” I mean, why would I be so happy they moved in together? (He did, after all, dump me for her.) But actually? I was. I meant every word.

I sat there and thought about it for a bit, trying to figure out why I wasn’t just cool with it, but actively excited. It pretty much came down to this: I think she’s pretty amazing (not to mention tiny and cute), I think he’s pretty amazing, and I also think – by the transitive property, and also by the property of I’ve-hung-out-with-them-as-a-couple – they’re pretty amazing together. They make each, other happy. And I love that! (Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t love it a year ago, but I definitely do now.)

In fact, when he told me they were moving in together, I actually squealed with joy. I really like to see good people in love and coupling up and … (yes!) getting married. And (perhaps the most important point) she’s been really sweet to me – so I felt the same way I would if a girl friend of mine were moving in with her bf. Really, hysterically enthusiastic.

I pretty much said as much in the quasi over-the-top nice FB message. Which got me thinking, “God, I hope she doesn’t think I’m being fake. Maybe I should tone this down a bit?” Obsequious isn’t a good look.

And then I realized this:

Fuck that! I *LIKE* being nice.

It made me feel GOOD to write those things to her. It made me happy to send that message and it makes me happy thinking that she’ll be happy reading it.

I wonder why people don’t do more things like this? Tonight, a guy friend of mine, knowing I’ve had a hard week month, drove into the city, took me to dinner, and gave me the most beautiful present. It was so thoughtful, so kind, and so unexpected, I almost cried.

This world is filled with a lot of crap and quite a bit of disappointment, much of which we have no control over. But we can control how we treat other people, and if we treat them with kindness, if we share their joy, if we genuinely wish them well and very much want the best for them – well, I’ve found it’s fairly contagious. I was actually happier after telling her that I was happy for her happiness! Crazy, right?

Try it. You’ll see …

So much to parse here. Jesus, I feel like her shrink.

Firstly, poor fucking Eater Guy. She’s like a barnacle that cannot be removed. She’s even been sucking up to the woman he dumped her for. Dear God, how chilling.

“Not to mention tiny …” You didn’t really type that, did you? Tininess really adds to her appeal, huh? Says something about her character? Christ you’re a loser.

And spare us the lecture,  Princess Mentalcase, about human kindness. Was that kindness you were displaying  when you had your friend out the identity of your latest victim as part of some twisted revenge fantasy? How about all the other nasty shit you’ve pulled on exes and dates, from the Macbook Air incident to calling the comedy writer boring and unfunny on via Twitter.

And speaking of Twitter, this is rich:

The world would be a much better place if we were all more honest – and gave each other the benefit of the doubt.

This coming from someone who so transparently and honestly got a friend to leak her latest “boyfriend’s” true identity here. Who is renowned for being one of the most dishonest bloggers on the Internet.

JA Twitter Translator: “Men shouldn’t lie to me, but I can lie to them and my lies should be believed without question!”

p.s. She spelled boomerang wrong.

74 COMMENTS

  1. Tonight, a guy friend of mine, knowing I’ve had a hard week month, drove into the city, took me to dinner, and gave me the most beautiful present. It was so thoughtful, so kind, and so unexpected, I almost cried.

    WTF is a “week month?”

    • She thought she’d admit to having a bad week and then decided to exaggerate, Julia style. Too bad she forgot to delete ‘week’.

    • I think she put a strike through “week” by using the simple HTML tags. See, she PROGRAMMED HER BLOG! (Remember that little exaggeration? Seems like two noses and a chin implant ago!)

    • On her site the “week” has a line through it. So she’s saying that not only this week, but her entire past month of vacationing and shopping, has been really hard.

    • Bwah! In other words, Poofy watched it for about three seconds, with the sound off. She just doesn’t get it.

  2. It’s somewhat incredible that if you ever date a guy who once dated Julia Allison Baugher, you have to accept her as part of the deal. She’s never married anyone, doesn’t have any kids, but she insinuates herself as a permanent fixture, whether you like it or not. That’d be a deal breaker for me right there.

    • you mean you’d be able to overlook the pink palace, puffy face, layers of make up, the pelts, the shoes, the dresses, her lack of self awareness, unwillingness to put out, internet addictions, delusions of grandeur and dog neglect?

      • Ya, good point. If I dated a guy who once dated Julia Allison, I’d be dating someone who did all that. Non-starter right there!

    • Normally, I would advise you to never date a man who has dated Julia Allison. Unfortunately, that solution is not feasible, as it would reduce the dating pool to a small puddle.

      If you do decide to venture down that treacherous road, may I suggest moving with him to a cabin in Northern Minnesota. Preferably (and this is the most important part, really), one without electricity.

  3. Oh she’s just a little old Mildred Pierce isn’t she?

    But wait, I’m confused: a guy took her out to dinner and there’s no iphone pic of the food she ate? And what about the “present”? Why hasn’t she put up a GIS of a gift wrapped box?

  4. this is a bit sad. who goes around sending messages to acquaintances congratulating them? i can see her saying she was excited for her friend,but then leave it there. all this protesting about how she’s genuinely happy for other people is not convincing. why do you care if other people get married/live together. just recently i sent a best wishes to someone, because they kept talking about their wedding. but if someone is not even talking to you, i bet she just read the email and was like, “yeah, i really care what you think.” pathetic.

    • It’s a wee bit territorial. Just making sure the new woman knows that “Julia was there first”.

      It’s creepy.

    • Poor thing, she’s so insecure.

      Her congratulations = I’m so over you!! I’m not bitter about our breakup!! You’re not better than me! I’m HAPPY for you, did you hear me? HAPPY!!!!!!

    • I agree. If I were dating some guy/about to move in together, and a former GF emailed congratulating me… psycho! Odd! I would forward said email to BF and have him take care of it.

      Boundaries people, boundaries.

  5. They’re moving in together, Jackles gets all the glory.

    Just like she’s going to be so overjoyed when they get engaged and she’s reminded yet again that another ex has found happiness and marriage without her (What’s the count now? This guy and her ex-finacee is two, Lodwick has been going strong with his lady so that’s three. Any more?).

  6. i can’t believe she wrote the facebook message. (calling or sending flowers too sincere? send a facebook message!) and i really can’t believe that she felt the need to write a public blog entry about it so that this acquaintance would know that she REALLY meant it. and, of course, so that we would know she is nice. sometimes i think you guys are over the top with your fantasies about her plotting in her tiny pink shoebox … but this really is bonkers. she is the mayor of crazytown.

    also? she should be arrested for putting that infant costume on her dog. that is just cruel.

    • I don’t even send congrats messages when friends move in together. What is the big deal? When I moved in with my boyfriend, people were just like “cool – what’s your new phone number?” Julia Darling, this is overkill. We all know you are seething.

    • Yeah, the public braying about it is really tasteless. If you’re honestly that nice, you don’t need other people to see how nice you are.

  7. If you “squeal with delight” over an ex moving in with the tiny girl he dumped you for, you also shit gold pelts. How can she imagine that anyone believes her tall tales?!

  8. Every day, I think Jankles could not get any sicker, more delusional or messed up. And every day she proves me wrong. When is it going to end? When the police get involved?

    The time stamp on that blog was 3:44 a.m. So no doubt that girlfriend will wake up today and find that lunacy in her inbox. And HOLY FUCK:

    “It made me happy to send that message and it makes me happy thinking that she’ll be happy reading it.”

    RESTRAINING ORDER ALERT!! No, she will not be happy to read it, you sick, deluded, fuck. She will be creeped out by your “hysterically enthusiastic” behavior and most likely call the police.

    I know that’s what I would do.

    • Also … did she ASK to be featured on your lifeaghast?

      Other peoples’ feelings do not come into the equation with sociopaths and narcissists. I know this, and yet she takes my breath away on a daily basis with her utter disregard for other human beings. The lack of conscience makes her capable of anything, so I don’t think it’s farfetched to imagine that the authorities may be required to step in at some point.

      See, most sociopaths are cloaked in secrecy. They get away with the most brazen lies and horrible acts because it wouldn’t even occur to most people that anyone would act in such a way. But Julia Allison Baugher has left ample proof of her devious, scheming, mentally ill behavior all over the internet for posterity. The online trail may be the best thing her future victims have going for them when it comes time for prosecution.

    • “It made me happy to send that message and it makes me happy thinking that she’ll be happy reading it.”

      Why would she be happy reading that? Why the fuck would she care what you think?

      Who does that anyway? Congratulates people for moving in together? It’s fucking insane.

  9. And you know what? I feel really sorry for these people. It’s not hard to figure out who they are – any of them – the ex, the new girlfriend, TK, TK’s girlfriend, the string of people she’s hurt, blogged about and left in her wake. The circle of people who still indulge her – still even speak to her – is growing increasingly smaller. When will she hit rock bottom? When will she be alone to face her demons? What is it going to take? Another restraining order? Her physically hurting someone?

    Sorry to be so heavy… it’s all getting a little to scary and real for me. It’s one thing for her to tweet crazy, obtuse crap from the confines of the pink padded cell, but when she starts to reach out, contacting these people in the middle of the night, it starts to involve their safety and sanity as well. A middle of the night text turns into a middle of the night facebook message turns into a middle of the night knock on the door… I mean, do we really know what’s she’s capable of? She’s obviously NOT in a good place mentally right now.

    • I totally understand that we shouldn’t mention the names of the people involved, so I’m going to seek a clarification without naming anyone. Does the girlfriends first name begin with an A?

  10. Huh?? Didn’t she date Eater Guy for all of 3 months?? My god – I feel bad for the guys and the girlfriends of the guys that she had REAL relationships with if this is how she acts after a few months.

    • And she didn’t even date TK … well… EVER, did she? I mean, they were never exclusive right? They saw each other, like, TWICE? And she was going on dates with other people so can she really get mad that he was supposedly seeing someone else?

      HOLY FUCK THIS CHICK IS CREEPY!!!!

      • I don’t think the world “NO” stops Julia. I think she’s attempted to maintain contact with MANY men from her past even after they very clearly state they want nothing to do with her ever again and ask her to stop contacting them. Again – this is sociopathic behavior that can escalate to violence and restraining orders. Just look at Steve Phillips and that production assistant driving across his lawn. Not saying that it’s all the woman’s fault, but if the tables were turned and some guy was stalking a woman like that, you bet the police would get called. Well, in Julia’s case, she’d probably be flattered.

      • Exhibit #1: She knew Lodwick wanted nothing to do with her but still had the chutzpah to ask him to buy a Macbook Air and when he refused she publicised it.

      • Julia did not publicize the Mac Air incident. In fact, when it was publicized, she went into hiding for over a month. The only time she has been silenced.

      • Yes, that’s true. I believe [REDACTED] either posted it to his blog or got it to Gawker? She was so mortified she took an Internet vacation and it was blissful. A bray-free zone!

      • It was posted on Reblogging Julia. Either [Redacted] or one of his friends must have sent it to them. And yes, it shut up the donkey for a good, long while.

      • My bad. I thought she publicised it. Still doesn’t take away from the fact she was hounding Lodwick for gifts when he wanted FA to do with her.

  11. So her new shtick is to come across like a cross between the Dalai Lama and Eckhart Tolle? I’m surprised that blog post didn’t end with “Peace be with you” or, even more pretentiously, “Namaste.” And everything is just so “amazing”; she uses that word three times in one paragraph. She really needs to read some non self-help; watch “Grand Illusion” and do some volunteer work.

  12. She says it makes HER “feel GOOD” to send the e-mail. But, hello, Julia, what about the OTHER PERSON’s feelings?? Doesn’t it matter that your over-niceness, whether genuine or feigned, might make the other human being with whom you’re interacting feel uncomfortable? I cannot believe the extent to which she centers every action around HER FEELINGS, even major life events that aren’t happening to her!!

    • Characteristics of a sociopath/antisocial personality disorder:

      Persistent lying or stealing
      Superficial charm
      Apparent lack of remorse or empathy; inability to care about hurting others
      Inability to keep jobs or stay in school
      Impulsivity and/or recklessness
      Lack of realistic, long-term goals — an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals
      Inability to make or keep friends, or maintain relationships such as marriage
      Poor behavioral controls — expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper
      Narcissism, elevated self-appraisal or a sense of extreme entitlement
      A persistent agitated or depressed feeling (dysphoria)
      A history of childhood conduct disorder
      Recurring difficulties with the law
      Tendency to violate the boundaries and rights of others
      Substance abuse
      Aggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fights
      Inability to tolerate boredom
      Disregard for the safety of self or others
      Persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social rules, obligations, and norms
      Difficulties with authority figures

      SOUND LIKE ANYONE YOU KNOW?

      I used to think Julia was just an asshole with some emotional issues. But I am really starting to think she has a very diagnosable personality disorder. This recent behavior of reaching out to contact people who most likely want nothing to do with her seriously creeped me the the fuck out.

      • It seems as though Julia needs to counterbalance.
        You have the recent tweets about her and Codename TK that basically rub it in his last girlfriend’s face that he’s still VERY FRIENDLY and IN CONTACT with Julia. So she offers up this example of “Julia being really REALLY nice to a different ex-girlfriend.” By, um, ya, sending her a gushing email at 4 in the morning discussing intimate details of that woman’s life that are really none of JABa’s business. And then. Tada! Posting that shit on her egoblog.
        Loony much?

  13. Genuinely happy, nice people don’t have to constantly bray about how nice they are because their actions speak for themselves.

    Something to think about, Julia.

  14. “I wonder why people don’t do more things like this?”

    Um, why more people don’t email girlfriends of ex boyfriends to congratulate them on moving in together? Because it’s fucking bonkers????

    You know what else she does that is really nice? Mentioning TK again when it’s apparent TK was fucking around on someone else and that someone else might not want to know that TK and this disgusting pig are still in contact with each other.

    Go fuck yourself, how’s that for nice, JA?

    • It’s also curious that someone so NICE!!!! And obviously WELL-ADJUSTED!!! enough to send an email to gf’s of ex’s who dumped them, cannot for the life of them maintain a single healthy relationship, or get any man to stay.

      It’s so curious! What is WRONG with men these days, that they do not see you as a national treasure and scoop you up immediately?

  15. I hate it when people congratulate me on me and my boyfriend’s relationship. Sure, getting engaged is one thing (and even then, it isn’t “congrats!” for the gals) but moving in together or having a long relationship isn’t something that warrants congratulations. It’s called a relationship and people have them! It isn’t some grand achievement like discovering an AIDS vaccine or giving birth to a child.

    It is funny though because the people who do usually congratulate me on moving in with my boyfriend or having a long relationship are usually female acquaintances who I don’t like and who couldn’t pay a man to stay in a long-term relationship with them. Actually, that explains a lot, especially about Jules.

    • Oh, Hamburgers, bunnykins! I am so very proud of you!! You and your ineffably hot boyfriend (call me Mr. Hamburgers!) are just so adorable! It’s like domestic bliss done differently!! Do you want to be on my blog!!?? Say yes sweet honey bun, you are so tiny and gorgeous and we can be instant friends!! Also, I need a place to bring my intern this year for Thanksgiving so please cook us something extra special! We’ll be by around 4 o’clock. Don’t forget, I don’t eat turkey! My little puppy is coming too of course so she might have some! Cook extra EVERYTHING!! xoxo

    • YES! People who inquire about my relationship are: my mother, my sister (both of whom I confide in and have a great relationship w) and every repulsive female acquaintance who wants to judge her life against mine.

      Horrible.

  16. Wow. She just keeps topping herself. Just when you think she can’t get any loonier, she pushes the bar higher (lower?). I don’t understand why these guys are still allowing her any access though. I’ve dated my share of losers, but once they’re gone, they’re gone. I make sure of it by cutting off all contact and making it clear they’re not welcome. Who needs embarrassing reminders of past stupidity around?

    • I don’t think these guys are “allowing her access.” She has acted like a bunny boiler with MANY an ex boyfriend and attempted to maintain contact with them long after they have made it clear they want nothing to do with her. She’s a sociopath, plain and simple.

    • They don’t allow her access. I have it on good authority that she just doesn’t let go. It’s not like they can delete their Facebooks, change phone numbers and emails, etc., because they made a mistake and dated the donkey.

      Julia just has no boundaries and thinks that, just because you took her out to dinner, she can ingratiate herself into your life long after your “relationship” is over. It should be also said that Julia has not had a “relationship” for a very long time. All the guys she dates are very short term. They catch on very quickly.

      I’ve received tips from family members, friends of men she’s dated. She doesn’t only contact her ex’s, she contacts their family and anyone else they know.

      It’s psychotic and disturbing.

      • I am not kidding when I say that I think a restraining order is very much in Julia’s near future. Her behavior IS psychotic and disturbing.

        It very much reminds me of recent news about Brooke Hundley – that ESPN PA that had an affair with Steve Phillips. After it ended, she used Facebook to attempt to reach out to his sons and ask them personal questions about the parents’ marriage and relationship. Completely psychotic behavior that ended with her leaving a note on the front door and crashing into a post when she tried to drive off as the wife came home.

  17. She is the spitting recreation of this sex columnist I knew in college (or, vice versa, since the girl i know is younger). This girl insisted on shrieking about how amazing every development in my and my ex’s relationship was, and how skinny I was looking, and how cute we were!!! Yay!!!! She had never dated him before, but her over the top niceness was so hugely and scarily fake. While she wrote banalities for her column, her own relationship was a total mess of control and insecurity and jealousy and resentfulness. It turned out later that while she was braying (so. Blessed.) about me and my ex, she knew one of her friends was trying to get him away from me.

    Sweet, eh? Both were classic Histrionic disorder.

  18. I’ve been on the receiving end of these types of Facebook messages. They’re entirely inappropriate and uncalled for and in my case, ended in a restraining order.

    I think she sends these types of messages because besides her blatant unhappiness, insecurities and bitterness, that’s what she’d expect. Like if she were to ever move in with a boyfriend, she’d expect people to be SO HAPPY for her. She’d expect congratulations, best wishes and probably a party from everyone and anyone. As everyone else has said, it’s not a huge accomplishment(perhaps a big step in a relationship but for those people, not the exs). It’s really so bizarre, and such a train wreck that I can’t look away from.

  19. Two of my friends married each other recently (much bigger deal than moving in together, who gives a shit?) and I found myself wanting to blog about the experience of going to a wedding of someone I had dated (very briefly) for the first time. I figured it wouldn’t come off too psycho, since that was many years ago, I have since become very close friends with the bride and groom, and I was genuinely happy for them.

    Before I was about to post what I had written, I reread it and realized I SOUNDED LIKE A FUCKING PSYCHO. There is just no way to earnestly talk about something like that, at least not without lots of careful editing and reflection. I never posted it.

    Old Julesy on the other hand, probably read what she wrote to the woman, realized it was psychotic, and rather than deleting it, set about writing this epic shitstorm of a blogpost to justify it. It’s like she gets off on the idea of being the bigger person without having any idea of how reality/other people’s perception will play into it. LOONY.

    Also, that picture is god-awful.

    • I don’t think she realized her message to her might seem psychotic. I really do think she genuinely believes she is being a nice, kind and caring person – and finds it necessary to tell the world what a nice, kind and caring person she is. THAT is the truly frightening part.

      • I don’t know, there were some flashes of insight in there that made me think she knew exactly how crazy she was coming off. “Obsequious isn’t a good look” should be the title of her biography.

  20. I used to think she was just trying to be funny when she would write about squealing, weeping, screaming, etc. with joy. However, this occurs so frequently in her writing, that I think she must actually be a walking human sound effects machine. I can’t imagine being around her for more than five minutes without developing an urgent need to remove her voice box with a grapefruit spoon.

    Didn’t Chaz’s infamous slideshow mention that her braying gave him hearing damage? At the time, I thought it was sarcasm.

  21. Doesn’t “boomerang” imply that the happiness she gives to others will come back to her? How does that relate to fawning all over your exes and their girlfriends, and hearing nothing back but *thud*?

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