Julia Allison Goes To Bendel’s Because She Doesn’t Have a Dorota To Do Her Shopping For Her

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Nor does she have the money to afford anything.

Of course I went straight to the Headband Section.

God, there are so many more of these. You’ll thank me for sparing you.

135 COMMENTS

  1. Holy shit … She does look rough. She looks like Danielle from Real Housewives. Totally busted face and baaaaad cosmetic work.

  2. Anyone else notice her face has taken on a strange expression since the wedding shopping/prep stuff started? And it’s not just ‘concentrating to get a pic right on the iphone’, either. She looks almost angry.

    • YES. It’s a face of extreme anger, depression, bitterness and resentment. Like she’s been crying for days.

      • Too many tears and travel will do that to eyes, looks like our little donkey has been through the ringer. I’m starting to worry about her, genuinely. No snark. I met her and talked to her about nine months ago and she didn’t look like this. She was silly, a little batshit, but happy in her own crazy way. I think the Baugher clan needs to step in and do something because I don’t know if she’s going to hold up through this whole wedding business.

    • She does. She also looks exhausted. Why the fuck this loon won’t deal with her insomnia, I do not understand. Injecting your face with chemicals is OK, stuffing your piehole with crap is OK, but getting a doctor to prescribe you some sleep medication to get your sleep patterns sorted out is NOT OK?

      If she won’t do that, all she has to do it get an alarm clock. Set it for midnight; when it goes off, turn the computer off and go to sleep. Then set it for 7 a.m. and get out of bed and take the dog for a walk, and then begin your day. A few days of that and she’d be asleep by 11 with no need for an alarm clock. Cuckoo bird.

      • I don’t think it’s insomnia. I suspect she sleeps plenty, but between the hours of 5am and noon. Her face is the result of some wicked combination of bad plastic surgery, botched Botox, and the bitch called Karma.

      • PM I think she may still have insomnia, despite getting all that daytime sleep. She’s fucked up her circadian rhythm, and no doubt the stress of daily posturing and her apparent internet addiction contribute as well. I myself have been up pretty late due to looking at the computer (albeit rarely), but my eyes eventually start drooping and I shut it down and go to bed – I still wake up at a normal hour though because a) I don’t need much sleep to function and b) I have a job. She essentially self-enables her insomnia by not figuring out ways to “shut down” and complaining (more like bragging) about being up at odd hours. If she exercised in the early evening she’d be too exhausted by bedtime to stay up, if she meditated, had some tea, and relaxed herself for some moments before bedtime, same effect. She last blamed uh, the internet and it’s “melatonin-eradicating LCD screen” (WTF on this btw… most demented try-hard statement EVER) for keeping her up, when it’s really her fault for not being able to close down her damn computer.

    • I think she expresses her elation all “OOH WEDDING DRESSES! SO HAPPY FOR ALLIE & BRITT!” to cover for the reality of what she gets – a constant reminder every second she sees/spends time with them of the fact that she’s nowhere near that point while her younger, significantly more accomplished brother and his adorable fiance are. It’s all smoke and mirrors and I doubt she’s enjoying it as much as she presents (in writing at least), her face tells a different story.

  3. What everyone else said above, plus: I just cannot get over her lack of embarrassment at taking all these pictures in public. And these are presumably the “best” ones, a fraction of the volume actually taken!

  4. Why does she think it is anything but extraordinarily tacky and pathetic to take dressing room pictures of gawdy accessories and/or dresses that she will never buy because she can never afford them? She’s basically playing dress up.

    • She has nothing better to do while avoiding her many, many serious and pressing problems (mental illness, lack of work, impending homelessness, no friends, unlovability, deterioration of body and face, absence of talent or skill).

  5. Julia, please go up a size! It’s not the #, it’s the look! No girl wants to have to wedge her hand in the pocket, it should just comfortably slide.

    • I have to admit that thanks to everyone here and the “go up a size” talk, I quickly accepted that fact when I bought a pair of skinny jeans today. I went up a size and thought, yes, this is what you must do sometimes.

  6. Look at the children behind her waiting to use the mirror. They look utterly confused at this deranged donkey hogging the mirror and taking pics of herself.

  7. OMG THE HANDS! Please make it stop. She seriously looks like a four-toed tree sloth in the second one.

  8. Myself and 99% of the 40-somethings I know look healthier, younger and more well rested than that busted hag looks.

    Just standing up for the beautiful women in their 40s reading here.

    That is all….

  9. In the first pic, she’s hunching over and trying to hide her hip with her arm; the second is the infamous side-pull. If Jabbers thinks she’s fat, who are we to disagree?

  10. Imagine if Julia were to put up post that actually acknowledged her feelings about the wedding, like she was happy for Britt but it was bittersweet because it reminded her that she was alone…instead of manically posting all these self portraits. No-one would blame her for feeling a little sorry for herself, but by posting all this “look at me” crud, she comes off vain, crazy and completely detached from reality.

  11. When the going gets tough, retreat into Gossip Girl fantasies. That seems to be her MO.

    The second photo is particularly nice because the secondary reflection of her head in the mirror’s chamfer looks like a crown. The perfect photo for a personal ad! “Monarch, 28, seeks country to rule. Wise and fair. Quotable. Former dancer. Perfect face for postage stamps and coins. Crown jewels must include necklace and 5 tiaras. Nations, principalities or dominions seeking my leadership should apply without delay to Countess Megan Alagna, who is handling my correspondence in this matter.”

  12. On the plus side, she’s wearing pants. Too matchy as usual, boring, but … step in the right direction.
    On the negative side, why try on stuff that would be completely inappropriate to wear to someone else’s wedding? Showstopper necklace? No. (I don’t even care that it’s ugly.)
    But no, sister of the groom. Just no. Britt’s wedding. Not yours.
    (Read JoBe’s shill blog; she supports me on this.)

    • Key words: BRITT AND ALLIE’S WEDDING. NOT YOURS.

      Does anyone else think it’s just beyond sad and pathetic that she’s intruding on ALL of these wedding activities and then making it all about HER? Dress shopping, night in the city, brunch, make up counter, engagement photos… AAAAND THERE’S JULIA!! OVER IN THE CORNER!! TAKING PICTURES OF HERSELF!! Can these two lovebirds have one second of time by themselves on this wedding prep weekend? Julia has tagged along (or planned around herself ) every single activity I’ve seen them have time for this weekend. No wonder she looks like she’s been crying all night… it’s like she’s actively planning a wedding that’s not her own.

    • Aaaand now she’s taking pictures of them taking their engagement photos. Wow. How would you like it if your deranged older, single sister was tagging along and blogging what is supposed to be some of your most memorable and personal pre-wedding experiences. There are no words to describe this gauche cow…

    • Please do not feed the troll. Ignore it and it will crawl back under the mossy rock it slithered out from under.

      • I am a whale. You can visit me at Sea World. I like to eat fish and get my picture taken and do tricks… just like Julia! Julia Allison told you all about Sea World didn’t she? Don’t forget to ride the Manta coaster!!

      • So impressed by your 32×32 nearly invisible photo, which – of course – nobody can verify is even you. Full name, email, ph#, address? I mean, since you’re so tough and all! 😉

      • right juliafoolia. i’m going to give you the address to my wordpress and full sized photo. because i really need you guys to verify that i am in fact good looking. oh and all my contact information because i would just LOOOVE it if you guys would harass me as much as you do julia. please.

      • Good looking? I luled. Bless your misguided heart, but no, you’re making a huge deal about zomg having a real picazhur instead of being a cartooon. That you have a photo as an icon with no other identifying info doesn’t make you a renegade, doll. I think you missed your way though. Try julia.nonsociety.com and fawn away.. no forum – true – but at least you’ll accomplish whatever your goal is. As opposed to utterly wasting your time (hah.. another lul) here.

      • You’re a ‘cartoon’ for a reason. That’s all I’m saying, juliafoolia. All I’m saying.

        Julia is a beautiful girl, and you just can’t take it. Sorry.

      • My lulz just octupled. Oh, honey. Enjoy your short-lasting stay here, really. So…. sad 🙁 and worrisome!

      • Holy fucking god. I’m the sad one? Whatever. No use trying to talk sense into a bunch of pathetic, small-minded morons who refuse to see how sad THEY are. Good bye.

      • “Julia is a beautiful girl, and you just can’t take it. Sorry.”

        Oh yeah, we just absolutely cannot take her pristine beauty. The puffy eyes, shoddy dermal fillers, the made-in-China plastic pelts… it’s just too much to handle. Allow me to shed a tear of sheer amazement.

      • Why I am taking the bait, I have no idea, but really, Nigare, you should bring a bit more “A-game” as your icon would say. Intimating that we all MUST be ugly and sad individuals is both foolish and trite. I promise you, sweets, some of us are very hot, accomplished women, who genuinely loathe Juiia Allison, and for good reason. Even the website who created her (Gawker) openly degrades her, when they even bother to cover her irrelevant ass anymore. She brought all this upon herself, and again, we are actually having fun. If it’s not your idea of fun, you are free to leave.

        Take a good look at her, the make up, the hair…the everything. Is that really attractive?

      • Nigare’s guest appearance was quite entertaining!!!!
        I LOVE when visitors think they’re witty enough to go toe-to-toe with the comedy gold that is RBNS!!!
        (pssst… I kind’a hope she comes back!! It’s not so much you guys are, ‘feeding the troll’… the trolls only nourish and bring out your awesome wit!!!)

      • She’s far, far more beautiful than Jackles, yet she speaks the same language:

        “Things have been complicated lately. Really complicated. But at the same time I think I’ve learned a lot, grown a lot, and realized that I’ve still got a long ways to go. The best part of this realization is that it comes hand in hand with a new attitude of willingness to take that long road and give it the best I’ve got. I feel like there have been so many simple things that I’ve overlooked, taken for granted, and I don’t want to do that any more.”

        She’s a vintage JA fan!

        Let it unfold, Nigare! Errrr … wait … Do it Now!!! Or is it Just Do It???

        Or is it Heeeeehawwwww??

      • Hey ya’ll! Cut the troll some slack. It’s hard trying to remember to ALWAYS ask if you want fries with that.

    • Yes I am ugly, jobless, fat, unlaid, old, and live in a home for the criminally insane. What of it? That doesn’t mean I can’t mock Julia Allison! My doctor says it’s good for me to take an interest in the outside world. Especially after the…incident.

  13. Could someone explain why the New York Times would want photos of them? Is JA involved in this in any way?? I just don’t understand because Britt and Allie do not seem like the kind of people wanting NYT coverage.

    • I think they are just taking engagement photos which is par for the course as far as traditional weddings go these days. They’ll go out with the invites, or in Thank Yous. I don’t think it has to do with NYT.

    • Hmm. I see they are using a NYC photog. Perhaps it is for inclusion in the NYT. If you know anything of the Baughers, you know they love a Newspaper write up. God, Julia’s every college accomplishment with the exception of waking up, was published in the Wilmette Gazette (or whatever the local rag is called).
      They’re of the class that they could definitely get a NYT write up. All the “right” colleges, both generations, mom works for the Ford administration, dad a very well known Chicago Attorney.

  14. Seems odd to me that a couple with no connection to NYC (other than Jules) would come here for dress-shopping and engagement pix. A little extravagant, esp for a Ph.D student. It’s not like Chicago doesn’t have plenty of dress shops or parks.

    Wonder if Julia hooked em up with some discounts in return for shill-age. Maybe that’s why she’s around all the time.

    • Yeah, why would Allie want to keep coming to NYC for fittings, etc.?

      Also, I thought Britt and Allie lived in Boston. I may have hallucinated that part.

    • most likely her parents realize this is their only child who is actually going to have a wedding so they want to do it up and spare no expense.

    • Julia probably INSISTED they come to NYC to do it, so she could: 1.Spin it into “A game content” 2. Needle whatever random dude she’s humping with weddingsweddingsweddings. 3. Dominate her brother and compete with her future sister in law to assuage her feelings of inadequacy. They were probably into it because: 1. Pix and dress from NYC are wicked klassy. 2. Allie wanted to preemtively toss JA an emotional bone to shut her up for the next few months as she does the real planning 3. In theory it’s an excuse for a fun and romantic trip to NYC. As we know, in practice- not so much.

    • I agree that is was merely the first dress outing, mainly for Allie to get her footing and start her search off right. Usually, brides don’t seriously look for gowns without their mother or an important matriarchal figure (speaking strictly in generic salesperson terms here…I used to/still do sometimes work at a bridal shop). Allie and Brit probably thought visiting Julia/NYC would be fun, they’d be able to get beautiful engagement pictures done, and it’d be a nice beginning to the search. So they started by shopping at one of the more notorious bridal stores out there right now. I don’t think this was a serious shopping trip by any means.

  15. The troll is boring me. Mods, can you block this little urchin and get back to the fun? I at least like trolls to have a sense of humor.

  16. Don’t bother, I’m taking my leave.

    Enjoy your pathetic lives. I honestly hope you find more fulfillment in your lives than this.

    • Please don’t leave before reading my comment to you on a previous thread. I worked hard to tap that out on my keyboard, using only my erect penis. Trolls get me tingly all over.

      • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
        The visual is unbelievably hysterical in my twisted mind.
        You have quite a talent you Whore!!!!

    • Julia attracts some real sickos, eh? These 50-ish men, parading around as 14-year-old girls named nigare, in search of a chat room? [shudder]

    • Why do these random idiots feel compelled to spew their sad attempts at insults back at us? And why does it always come down to us either being fat/lonely/pathetic/ugly/jealous(hahahah!)?? Why the fuck does that shit even matter?!
      I’d really like to learn the rationale on this ongoing troll blunder. Like someone said here earlier, that’s akin to going into a biker bar and making fun of motorcycles to everyone there.

      • Well Jung would say that they haven’t come to terms with the dark sides of their psyches, so seeing other people be meeeeaaaaan touches on all their repressed rage – which they unleash on us.

      • If you notice, the troll’s arguments, and tone is all “Marsha Brady nice girl” . Very teenage, very immature, very much about pink on the outside, rage on the inside. Like our girl JA.

    • Please don’t trip getting your ermine robes caught in the door on the way out. Our personal injury insurance excludes royalty.

    • No Nigare… PLEASE, don’t leave!!! You have NO idea how you inspire the incredible genius, humor, and these comedic geniuses possess!!!
      It’s so entertaining to watch the weakest gazelle act all tough when confronted by hungry lions.
      Priceless.

  17. When I saw those cry-face photos of Jackles in Henri’s, I felt a twinge of empathy.

    Then I realized — this is what happens when you live your whole life obsessing over your wedding day. One fucking day when you spend a lot of money to dress in a princess dress and throw an overly expensive party. It’s ONE DAY, Jackles. It has nothing to do with real life, or even with marriage.

    Shake it the fuck off, princess.

    • It seems masochistic for Julia to include herself to this extent in her bro’s pre-nuptials. It’s not like she’s really helping the happy couple. Yeah, she wants attention, yeah, she’s living vicariously, yeah, she can do her classist bullshit about her family (Kleinfeld’s! Ed Keating!), but if she’s really so lonely and feels so incomplete without a husband (with a black Amex,thanks), then all this artificial hoopla looks like self-flagellation.

  18. so tacky – she engagement gift is a monstrous tv from a brand she’s shilling for….yeah real thoughtful and i am sure she paid full price.

  19. I know it’s a front shot, but there’s a strong implication of Great Ass in the bottom picture. So much fun now — such a potential disaster after 6 months of fancy dinners and cupcake binges every time we have a screaming match over something stupid and self-destructive she did. As a potential suitor this is so deeply troubling. WHAT TO DO?

      • No, we’d fight and she’d eat an entire box of cupcakes while texting people about my manly-bits. Then her ass would get too enormous even for the black people she hates and I’d make an unfortunate remark like “why not put a half stick of butter on your hideous iPhone waffle cover, Poofy” and she’d run off and have drunk phone sex with Paul Carr and tweet a happy face. CAN NOT DO.

    • Shit, that sounds pretty lulzy. Couldn’t you take one for the team, meanguy? It would give us so much entertainment.

  20. Guys, can we have a post quoting her in that ABC article on how she was being “stalked” by re-bloggers and was so scared for her personal safety, followed by all of these posts – with MAPS! – she publishes of where she is and what she’s doing at any given time? She really needs to be called out on that shit in a big way.

    • For the Central Park engagement shoot, it wasn’t just “Here’s precisely where to find me,” but “Here’s precisely where to find me, my brother, and his fiance.” If I were Allie I would be horrified. Every attractive woman has at least one embittered, unhinged ex that she doesn’t want tracking her down via a pin on a Google map.

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