Julia: Obsessing Again About The "Hipsters"

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At Coco Pazzo for lunch with Rachel and Hipster Lawyer.

Note my hipster outfit: Elizabeth & James plaid shirt, American vintage black long-sleeved top, Paige jeans, three necklaces (ha).

Also note: I am wearing no makeup.

That, added to the plaid?  AND THE JEANS?!!

I hardly know myself.

Her hipster obsession is becoming as boring as her cupcake fixation. For fuck’s sake, will she let it GO?

134 COMMENTS

  1. THAT IS NOT A HIPSTER OUTFIT!!!!!!!! Why does she confuse “hipster” with “trying to be cool mom” ALL THE DAMN TIME!

    • Ugh, my thoughts exactly. Even as a casual outfit w/o hipster overtones, it strikes me as goofy. Do people wear button-down shirts over button-down shirts? God, she’s lame.

    • because she’s trying to dress like jordan. JoBe is the one who wears plaid shirts with leggings all the time. same with blazers, side braids and stuff.
      Didn’t she ones have an “a-ha” moment after lindsay lohan did the marylin monroe shoot? she said something along the lines that lindsay lohan looks strange because she’s not herself or some other oprah shit.

      damn, i need a life too.
      so obsessed, we should take a vacation together!

  2. Nothing wrong w/ this look – she should go for it more often – there’s ‘normalcy’ to it, right down to the lack of the inflata-boobs.

  3. Is she losing her hair, though? What the fuck is going on up top? I see a lot of scalp.

    FHT: You’re a cuntwitch.

      • the hair looks a little unwashed. To me, she looks dirty. like she locked herself in her house for 2 weeks to write (like my writer friend did once) and came out for the first time.

    • lmaoooooooooooooooo. Jacy I have nothing bad to say about you. Partypants on the other hand is a Velveeta Whore.

  4. Julia? Julia, if you are reading this, bunny, I wanted to you to know that you look like a lumberjack. Kisses, bunny!

    • I like imagining tiny Granny Baugher, sitting in her pink suit and pearls, hair set perfectly, pecking away at her old computer commenting here 🙂

      • Oh dear me! Now I know why my Julia loves the World Wide Web so much! I’m so glad Julia gave me this Sony Vaio Lifestyle PC! I would love to chat with all of you, dearies. However, Julia gave me some good advice about writing on the World Wide Web: Don’t try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night.

        Email me, dearies: NuttyGrannyMoneybags@gmail.com

        I look forward to speaking with you! Bumpits: From Flat to Fabulous!

  5. This is one of those Juliaism that remains beyond my comprehension. I don’t understand the who/what/where/why/when of this obsession. I guess it has something to do with Jordan and her hipster Hubby and her sorta wanting to be JOBE 2.0 …. maybe? It comes off as super, duper lame.

    She looks really good in a normal outfit though. Wish she’d just take the god damn picture and not comment.

  6. Of course she is wearing make-up. Does she think we were born under a rock? Or is this some kind of legalese for “I am not wearing my usual trowled-on amount of makeup?”

    She also seems to believe that any old plaid = Hipster. Sorry, Jaba, but your preppy Ralph Lauren-esque ensemble (or mom-semble) does not make it.

    I am really hating her today.

    P.S.: That restaurant decor screams mediocracy (if mediocracy can even be screamed.)

    • It’s very mediocre & very un-chic, although it is just around the corner from some real trendy joints (rich folks = trendy, never hipster). But she tried.

      • I think I meant mediocrity, but I guess you knew what I was getting at. Someone down further in the comments said it looks like a Fudruckers. Chicago has a really happening food culture (as does SF and of course NY), and wherever she goes she always ends up at something along the lines of Applebee’s.

        Taste, she has none (and I am not just talking about food)!

  7. Ok, the outfit is verging towards normal. Now if she had posted this without excessively praising herself for wearing it, I might have been a little impressed.
    As for No Makeup – hah! All that means is that one layer of contouring/foundation/Christmas cheeks was removed from the perma-shellac. I can see a ton of eyeliner.
    Also, I don’t get this whole jaw unhinged hilarity laugh thing people do in photos these days. What’s wrong with a normal smile?

    • Lumberjack Wench is perfection; after all, wasn’t TK’s twitter background a lumberjack?

      Julia is as subtle as a psychedelic sledgehammer. (uh, yeah, I don’t know what that means either.)

  8. That’s it. I’ve had all I can stomach from this daffy bitch. I’m outta here.

    See y’all on Monday. God damnit.

  9. she looks unkempt. Like she came to town without a suitcase and had to borrow those clothes. If she seriously bothered to spend more than 2.2 seconds putting this ensemble on then she’s even dumber than I possibly imagined. Good girls from nice families tend to have mother’s who are somewhat capable of putting themselves together. Julia and her idiotic mother (um, thick healed sandals with a 3/4 length skirt? That image from the cousin’s wedding haunts me) are slobs. I don’t buy that the parents are “academic” bullshit. The entire group is just out to lunch.
    And there’s nothing wrong with a little makeup: it’s one thing to shelac on the foundation and add heavy eye shadow, but powder (um, hello shiny face!) and little blush never hurt.

  10. Also, I am confused by her caption to this photo: “At Coco Pazzo for lunch with Rachel and Hipster Lawyer” I see no Hipster Lawyer. Or is he another one of her imaginary boyfriends?

  11. Seriously though, she can’t even just go to fucking lunch with her new OMG BREAKING ALL THE RULES FOR YOU person? She has to make him take a pic of her, wait let me poselaughbendovertohidetheraft ok take it! and then post it?

    Can’t she just be a person? For ONE day?

    • is it possible the lawyer is a colleague/ junior associate of the idiot father’s? Sorry- I blame her parents wholeheartedly for creating this asshole. Doesn’t the mother send her a drawing every year on her birthday? Such stupidity.

      • My dad sends me $50 on the first of the month, almost every month. He thinks that teachers are super poor and live hand to mouth.

      • If you work in public ed in a big city, the wages are more than livable Chicago pays better than NYC and everything is cheaper. I feel wealthy! (I’m not!)

      • It’s one thing to be young and starting out in your career or working a noble profession that doesn’t pay that well. But, it’s another story if your parents are subsidizing your lazy, unemployed ass AND sending you oh-so-cute homeade art. I think I hate the parents more than her. Is that wrong?

      • Absolutely! I agree. BTW, I use my dad’s money to buy books and stickers for my classroom. I’d feel like a total tool otherwise.

      • I’ve always been put off by the Baughers. They seem like super-conservative judgemental douchebags to me.

    • Wait. You’re not suggesting that Rachael isn’t entitled to a free lunch on Julia’s new friend, are you?

  12. She really should move to Chicago. She seems happiest there.

    She’s obviously pretty close to her family, and it seems like she has a couple of real friends in Chicago.

      • Agreed, both of their outfits are pretty much exactly what I wore throughout junior high in fact.

        She does look much younger without all the makeup. I don’t know why she doesn’t do that more often. Without calling herself a hipster.

  13. WTF. I would love to understand what “hipster” means in that crazy head of hers. From all I can see, she thinks “hipster” means NORMAL stuff that NORMAL people wear and not poofy dresses and tutu’s. She’s such a douchebag. And I’ve never called a girl a douchebag.

    • “From all I can see, she thinks “hipster” means NORMAL stuff that NORMAL people wear and not poofy dresses and tutu’s.”

      I think you’re right [b]Mimi [/b]

    • Ha! I once had a girl dog who was constantly trying to hump my boy cat (who tolerated it and maybe even enjoyed it).

  14. The “three necklaces (ha)” has got to be a passive aggressive shout-out to Jobe, she of the ubiquitous “vintage and MoMA necklaces.” Either that, or she’s just trying to imitate Jobe’s OMG totally-free-spirited, jangly-necklaced, flannel-wearing ways.

    Right on, Julia! Get your grunge-throwback on! Cause if there’s one thing Kurt Cobain loved more than flannel, it’s a tasteful heart pendant on a silver chain.

  15. And her silver hoops! I think like someone else said above she looks more like she would fit more in a Puerto Rican district than with the hipsters.

    This outfit reminds me so much of how i dressed when i was in high school and had no idea what my style was or had any knowledge of how to put a good outfit together.

    • I was just thinking, this bitch looks like a chonga, not a hipster. The hoops, the gelled hair with front tendril hanging out, the layered silver necklaces. Even her eyebrows are a little chongalicious.
      I guess no matter what she wears she’ll always look cheap.

      Jules, you should have landed down in Hialeah.

  16. I’ve suddenly realized that we’re all missing the point of her claim to not be wearing makeup. SHE TOLD RACHEL NOT TO WEAR MAKEUP TO LUNCH!!!

    Oooh, this bitch is crazy like a… crazy-ass fox.

    • “Rachel, bunny, let’s both skin our hair back in a dancer’s bun and TOTALLY not wear makeup to lunch! And jeans! Jeans to meet the hipster lawyer. If you wear your little hoodie thingie, I’ll wear my plaid shirt. We’ll be twinsies. Do. It. Now!

  17. julia needs to step on the bus back to the barrio with the other cholitas. the only thing missing is a tear.

  18. It’s telling that Julia discovers her buzz words many years after they have become almost solely used ironically. I don’t know a single person who would call someone or something hipster without a self-aware laugh. But of course, Julia’s just invented the entire culture! It’s so news-breaking!

    • I don’t like Mary’s nasty superficiality, but she looks better in those pics than she has for a long time.

      I think she should leave the red dresses for somebody with a complexion that can carry it off like Megan. I also think that with her lean physique she can afford to cover herself up more, with sportier more body hugging clothes.

      She doesn’t need to look as matronly as she normally does.

  19. Soo— did she spend the night at the parent’s downtown condo with Cancer Dan? or did she sleep with the Grunge Lawyer? or did she
    drive all the way back to Wilmette? then drive all the way back for lunch????? or did she have a secret Lesbo evening with that gal?

  20. What I don’t get is, does she not realize she sounds like an idiot, a, and b, NO HIPSTERS SAY THIS WORD??? I have lived in the epicenter of hipster for years (Williamsburg, BK), listened to the music of the hipster (punk/indie etc), have friends JA would call “hipster!” and NO ONE self-identifies as a hipster.

    She’s also sad because she realizes “hipsters” are usually into good music and art and writers and film and she is just so utterly disengaged from what is relevant in any way and has no style or substance. She reads self-help books and listens to the Little Mermaid soundtrack. She’s never been interesting in any way.

  21. HA! I call flared. She only wears flared. Seriously. From like, 1992.
    Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!

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