Julia Allison: Fuck You, TK

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So Julia’s clam dungeon had some sea cucumber stuffed in it last night. And you know what? I don’t fucking care.

I just ate the French Toast of Shame. It’s like the Walk of Shame, but instead of walking, french toast. Brilliant, eh?

Um YEAH!!! I’m just driving into palo alto from the city!

I’m sure that TK doesn’t give a flying fuck either.

66 COMMENTS

  1. Julia, when you’re near 30 years old, there is no “walk of shame.” Walks of shame are for 18 year old sorority girls sneaking out of the frat house at 8:00 AM on a Sunday (been there, done that). They are not for grown women.

    Grown women get up, either invite the guy the brunch, or calmly leave. There is no need for “shame” here. Please, please stop behaving 10 years younger than your actual age.

  2. OT, but meghannaise is having her video game “panel” tonight, w/pete wentz, grandmaster flash, et al. should be fun!

    • What video game has Meghan played in the last five years that wasn’t pre-installed on her cellphone? Would she even know wtf Halo is?

      • I seem to remember a video from CES (ahhh… those were the good old days) of all three of them attempting to play Rock Band and failing miserably. I mean really… these retards cannot even play Rock Band, yet were calling themselves IT girls. I just can’t wrap my mind around that kind of retarded fuckery.

  3. OT: I think I figure dout why NS’s quantcast numbers fell off a cliff. Duh, they die-enabled quant from following them. Funny, too. They stopped right around mid-Septmber, when we (I, really) started posting their numbers here.

    On the flipside: alexa.com is still tracking and they are also seeing pitiful numbers. NS is America’s 80,000-andsomething most popular site.

    • a lot of things coincided around september: jordan joining NS, the new site design, and along with that it seems, no more quantcast numbers. also, since then there have been no advertisements on NS… wonder how the fuck you money is accruing?
      (although jordache has had a few of those sponsored izea posts on her blog)…
      waiting for meghannaise to drop out any day now… her posts are like the last feeble wheezes of a dying person. 🙁 sad.

      • Yesterday, I went to NS and a samsung ad immediately started playing. Was this just my stinky infected computer, then? I wondering how the heck they managed too secure samsung ad dollars.

      • They have that camera ad on the homepage. Which is weird seeing as they endorse like 3 different, competing brands of cameras and don’t actually do any real camerawork (maybe they should get three different ads for Addidas, Wilson, and Spalding soccer balls. Why not? They don’t play soccer either).

      • Samsung ad, right? Which is weird because her only half-way real job this year was doing an ad for Sony. Seems really dumb on the advertisers part. You can’t look at her and think, oh Sony, or Oh, she’s that Samsung, or Cannon chick. Also anyone who follows her as a “trusted friend” is aware she doesn’t take these endorsements seriously.

        There must be a ton of diplaced advertising money out there now that tv and newspaperrs are getting creamed. i mean these ad buyers must just thrown buckets at outlets like Next New Networks and not even check the content. Not even LOG on for two minutes. Christ, you could probably start an anti-government neo-nazi site these days and get a Panasonic spot….

      • I think the Samsung ad is linked to TMI, which auto plays from the NS homepage. It was probably arranged through NNN and has nothing to do with Julia and her Sony deal, or Meghan and her Canon deal, or Mary and her Kodak deal…. confused yet??

        Notice how no one advertiser sticks with them very long. Even for online ads, these companies want to see measurable results and when your page views are in the toilet and they don’t translate into dollars spent, the advertisers will go elsewhere.

        I read an interesting blog post a few weeks ago that pointed out how the NS business model was fundamentally flawed because their “trusted friend” brand of advertising didn’t take into account people that read their site precisely because they DON’T like them. We’re not going to run out and buy a Samsung camera, no matter how often the ad plays on their site. In fact, we will develop a negative opinion of it based precisely on their affiliation.

  4. Julia is totally turning into “that girl.” You know the one. The slightly chubby, unpopular girl that you knew in high school who just had to shout from the rooftops every time she made out with a boy because in happened so infrequently. She was a sweet girl, like how dogs and grandmas are sweet, but she sort of had BO and this general stink of desperation about her, but you invited her to parties anyway because you pitied her. Yeah. She’s that girl.

    • Bingo.

      And you know, I have known people who are far less crazy, and have only done a fraction of what she’s done in terms of indiscreet over-sharing, who have entered therapy shame-faced because of the way their behavior fucked up not just their own lives, but affected other people’s lives as well.

      Not this donkey.

  5. “# Lunch in Potreo Hill (in SF) with @PaulCarr. Turns out I *am* hungover, it just didn’t kick in until 11 am. Ughhhh.7 minutes ago from Echofon ”

    eww …. the sight of him turns my stomach even more than Adrien does …

    • Yeah, I really can’t think of a more undesirable pairing (with the exception of Sarah Lacy and the I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell guy).

    • Julia? You’re a writer and a journalist, right? Generally like to spell things correctly, right? It’s Potrero Hill, dumb ass.

      Why does she have to come across as such a poseur HICK in every tiny utterance she makes? It’s truly astonishing.

      • This is true. What gives it away? Is it plastic half wig? Or the shiny polyester dress that’s two sizes too small? Or the misuse of common words? Or the press on nails?

  6. So…Julia basically flew across the country for a birthday party and a booty call with kevin rose, then lunch with paultato head? Is that what I’m to gather from this weekend’s idiocy?

    • Oh, you KNOW the booty call was Paultato Head. He does like to talk about his liquor…

      Now excuse me as a go throw up my lunch at the thought of them together.

    • No she’ll stop off on the way to the airport and club a seal. GLOBAL WARMING! TICKING CLOCK!

      Also if it was Rose the Lumberjack she would be dropping so many blatant hints: “Just finished my DevIled eGGs and boy are they tasty LOLOSAUR”

      • she is so into fighting climate change, y’all, that she couldn’t even explain what kind of car it was that she took a picture of (captioned: Oh, SF. Why am I not surprised?). it’s called a tesla, julia. your frenemy jason calacanis has one. because he made actual fuck you money. and now he’s not creating more emissions while driving. because it’s all-electric!

    • yeah, pp, that’s about right.
      but booty call wasn’t even in SF…more like daly city. yeah, i’m sure they visited a glamorous and sophisticated date venue, like chilis.

  7. This is all kind of sad. Is her self esteem so fragile that when one guy doesn’t want her she goes in to a spiral of binge drinking and casual sex? I mean, don’t get me wrong many of us have been there so I’m not entirely judging….only noting that it is really sad and pathetic and a sign of low self esteem. Even if she is only implying that these things happened, and if she only had 2 drinks and is trying to make it seem like she was raging…it’s sad that she thinks that these tweets would inspire envy or intrigue in anyone. I would like to see anyone who can interpret these in any way other than “she’s gone off the deepend”.

    • “it’s sad that she thinks that these tweets would inspire envy or intrigue in anyone”

      Agreed. Does she actually think that drunk hookups will make anyone jealous or think she’s “over” Totally Kaput? Or make any other guy want her? I don’t get the public braying about it. Her logic is mind boggling.

      Also, how fucking rude is it to treat your hosts this way?? I don’t understand Randi’s (and her husband’s) tolerance toward Julia at all. She does nothing for her except for tarnish her image and her job. It’s more than a little sad that she puts up with this rude cow crashing at her house.

      • Yup, if TK’s that big of a jerk, he’s couldn’t care less about any of this. As Booth Tarkington said, “Nobody has a good name in a bad mouth.”

  8. A walk of shame implies that she has shame.

    Incessantly posting about something you are ‘ashamed’ of, isn’t shame.

    • She’s continuously fictionalizing her life to shape others’ perceptions of her, and she’s an adolescent and emotionally inconsistent script writer.

      Go back a few months, and put the faux-sophisticate photo of her in a lounge at Davos alongside the shot of her covering her mouth and pointing at the vagina art in Nouriel Roubini’s loft. That juxtaposition is pretty much her in a nutshell.

      • She’s not interesting (or young) enough to qualify for Texts from Last Night (but she is a wannabe who will nominate herself!)
        More JABa FAIL.

      • it just occurred to me that RBNS is like fail blog, but covering on the niche that is julia allison. every post on here could be accurately tagged JABa FAIL. (sometimes, also, perhaps, MEGA FAIL; but never JoBe FAIL!) :p

  9. I love how Paul Carr shits and pisses about sponsorships being placed in his tv shows, but then goes to lunch with the world’s biggest shillbeast. Fucking hypocrites.

  10. man, she’s simply one of those weird people in life who lacks a normal amount of self-awareness. people like her will never change — they are all about ME ME ME, completely unable to listen to others, and positively set in their ways. when i meet a person like this in real life, a red flag goes up, and i flee. poor julia, she’s one of those people, and she’ll never get it. sucks to be her.

  11. God, NS is so devoid of entertainment that this place has turned into Retweeting Julia Allison.

    I’d so love it if RBNS simply combined forces with GOMI and Jankles just became one of the multitudes who get mocked over there on the daily. She’d have to try a lot harder to get our attention, which means she might actually do something interesting once in a while.

    Just a thought… 😉

    • I like it your idea too AM in the sense that this site gives JABa way too much attention (guilty as charged for my regular commenting) but I can’t but help but think she trades in on having a site all about her and NS.
      When all’s said and done, she is just a Web2.0 wannabe founder fucker who unlike the people she’s glommed on to, has nothing going on except a run-of-the-mill tumblr blog. For the rest of that gang, their blogs are incidental sidelines. For JABa, that’s all she’s got. She doesn’t deserve this site.

      • “She doesn’t deserve this site.” Exactly! I haven’t had a good belly-laugh about her manic antics for many a moon.

        Remember those halcyon days of QOD, Davos, CES, Bi-coastal Birthday Bullshit, and Barbie Fashion Week? God, the posts and comments were pure hilarity! Go back and re-read some of the birthday stuff again (oh, those wonderful pics of Randi’s cake and Jackles posing with Michael MacDonald). You’ll be laughing your ass off in no time.)

        I love the idea of lumping her in with the rest of the Webtards, PP. Make it so!

        (Or not, I just like butting into everybody’s business. Plus, I looooooove youuuuuuuu guyyyyssss! But I’m really starting to hate Julia.)

  12. So let’s add this up: Julia flew across the country for a lame party, drove 30 miles for a 9:00 on a Sunday booty call, drove 30 miles back home the next morning and then drove 30 miles BACK to SF for lunch with the potato head? Presumably all just to have fodder for her fucking twitter because she’d be sitting home on her ass in her pink dorm room otherwise? The loneliness, desperation and and stink of pity knows no bounds.

  13. I’m being to think that every single picture on Julia’s blog could have one of four captions:

    I can haz dick?
    I can haz attention?
    I can haz husband?
    I can haz respect?

  14. today’s edition of wisdom from meghannaise: “It was a pity to leave with Diwali.”

    say whaaaat?

    she should start a newsletter like gwyneth paltrow…

  15. I was searching for something on Julia’s site a while back and ran across this old entry on Walks of Shame:

    http://www.juliaallison.com/coed/issue4a.html

    I noticed that one of the stories was attributed to “Britt, University of California Santa Barbara.” I wondered, Christ, was that her BROTHER? Did she call her BROTHER for a pull-quote about his postcoital activities? After she quoted Urban Dictionary as a legit source, naturally.

    This entry reminded me of that, and I did a search for her brother’s name +UCSB to see whether he attended there in addition to MIT. I don’t have anything definitive, BUT, think my fellow RBNSers will be amused by what comes up in Britt’s “blog” sidebar on this Zabasearch-style site:

    http://www.123people.com/s/britt+baugher

    (Fuck Me Sideways, Really?)

      • Nope, it’s Britt. Let me paste it in:

        “The worst Walk of Shame I did was coming home after a Highlighter party (you wear a white shirt to the party where the only lighting is Black Light and everyone writes on each other with highliters which glow). There was some crazy shit drunkenly written and drawn on my shirt and nothing sticks out quite like shirt covered in florescent marker. Needless to say I got a lot of hollas on that walk.” – Britt, University of California Santa Barbara

  16. God, how desperate. Not only do you fuck someone right after proclaiming how broken-hearted and curled into a ball of sadness you are, but then you twatter about it, nakedly in an effort to make TK jealous?

    Jesus Christ, do I have to email her again and tell her how fucking stupid she is? Sometimes I just can’t let it go. She irks me THAT much.

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