Julia: Shockingly, Guy She Met on Facebook And Called Her Boyfriend After One Date Actually Already Had a Girlfriend


En route to the airport. Just recieved one of the most shocking emails I could ever have imagined. As if I could trust men less. I feel ill. about 1 hour ago from Echofon

You know, ladies: when your instinct is that something is off, believe me: IT IS.about 1 hour ago from Echofon

Finding out @codenametk had another girlfriend THE ENTIRE TIME = mind boggling. I protected him. I trusted him. What a fool I was.about 1 hour ago from Echofon

Btw, she figured out who he was from my Twitter. And that he had been playing both of us. I’m curled up in a ball on the flight, just sick.42 minutes ago from Echofon

Dear Jackles:

Oh dear. I am surprised his girlfriend isn’t actually a boyfriend, but still — you feel betrayed, and understandably so. I mean you even gave him his own code name and hid his identity! So unlike you!! (p.s. Please reveal it now.)

But please, you dumb donkey, can you file this under “lesson learned?” You met the guy ONCE in person, came home and started Tweet-braying shit like “when you know, you know” and “you’re the exception to my rule” as you told your friends you’d “found a boyfriend.” This after Facebook messaging for three years? What, you thought that was the foundation of a lasting and promising relationship?

Another reminder:

1. Stop obsessing over having a boyfriend and pushing men into that role whether they’re into you or not. Remember the tattoo on your wrist, for the love of fuck? Liz from Long Island University — LET IT UNFOLD!

2. Stop Tweeting that shit in the initial stages of your acquaintance. It scares the shit out of them.

3. Now out him. Go on, out him. Tell the world who he is. You have a large crowd of haters! Don’t underestimate us! We can hate on him too!

By the way, Jackles, kudos for one thing: for actually being honest after all your “my man” TK braying instead of just pretending you suddenly didn’t like him anyway and he just “faded away,” your lie about Harvard Harley, who fled, frightened, in the face of all your lunacy. But next time, smarten up re: the “I WANT A BOYFRIEND AND IT WILL BE HIM WHETHER HE’S INTO IT OR NOT AND I WILL TWEET THE HELL OUT OF THAT SHIT TO SHOW MY HATERS I AM HOT AND DESIRABLE AND I AM NOT CRAZY AND EVERY MAN WANTS TO BE MY BOYFRIEND.” Just stop.


    • Now that would be funny.

      This is what I don’t get — didn’t all the friends and relatives know he had a girlfriend while he was parading that donkey around? Were they pretending to “just be friends” even to the friends and family?

      • He wasn’t really taking her out very much in public, was he? Yes, they went out, but it didn’t seem like the kind of stuff a guy would do with a woman he wants to show off to his family and friends.

      • JA said that the sister was at that campfire. So she def met at least the sister. Or someone pretending to be the sister.

      • She may have met the sister, but he didn’t necessarily have to tell her that he was with Jackles.

      • She’s my sister! SLAP! She’s my girlfriend ! SLAP! She’s my sister! SLAP! She’s my girfriend! ( gettin’ my Chinatown on)

      • Because they didn’t exist. This post was for RBNS, the only folks interested in whether she had a boyfriend, and she needed an exit strategy.

        She isn’t being honest, she is just killing of a secondary character.

      • Leven Rambin, that Hadley guy and all the others out that night and Tweeting about it with JA exist. I am all for conspiracy theories, but the guy exists. I have no doubt she has greatly exaggerated the significance of their relationship, but he is a real person, with a real group of friends, most of whom instantly disliked JA.

  1. After thinking about this for a bit, I’m curious about the Twitter thing.

    Was his girlfriend one of her followers? And, if so, wouldn’t he have known that??

    And, even if she was a follower of JA’s, how the fuck did she know Code Name TK was her boyf?

    JA didn’t reveal much: he likes frisbee, they went to the beach and ate marshmallows, they went out with some marginally famous soap actress together … Even if you match up the times that he WAS with Julia to the times that he WASN’T with you, it’s still all quite circumstantial.

    I really think this whole thing reeks of bullshit. The only other possibility is that both Julia and this other girl thought they were more serious with this guy than they were.

    • Maybe she added up that he was out and about at the same time with Julia, recognized his roommates/Leven on her Twitter, realized what was going on.

      Gotta say, it takes brass balls to try to pull a double-girlfriend stint with someone who lives their life in public. Or maybe he is just an idiot?

  2. I am assuming the GF knows people in his crowd, like his roommates, and they were Tweeting about hanging out with Leven and JA that one “margarita” night. She was probably following them on Twitter, so it wouldn’t have taken much of a stretch, if you know the crowd and the room-mates, to figure out who CodenameTK was and that he was the one JA was involved with.

    Then she just had to go back and read the Donkey braying on Twitter about their date in LA, his visit to NYC, etc, and match up the dates. Busted!

    • That! I assumed she followed the back and forth between Leven and, then, CodenameTK’s other friends at the Margarita party. They all @juliaallison at one point on their twitter.

  3. Maybe he’s not (semi) famous and thr reason he didn’t want her saying his name was because of the girlfriend?

    • Of course. The funny thing is is that the first time she’s discreet about the guy’s name, it blows up in her face. I pity the next guy she gets involved with.

  4. Or maybe he’s fake and so is the girlfriend and all of this drama is totally made up because Julia is a sad and mentally ill woman child?

    • This whole thing kinda reeks of “plot point in Julia Allison Petal Princess digital dating narrative,” as brought to you by whatever MTV or VH1 show is willing to have her on at this point. Drama! Tears! Heartbreak of comparative Twitter Studies! Curled up in ball on plane to preemptively epic Geek Birthday Party!

      She’s so Carrie 2.0. Buffing up that screenplay.

    • If it was all a lie, then Leven and all the people who were involved in “margarita night” are part of the lie. Did any of them seem to like her? No. One of them was even Tweeting Mary and it sounded like he was looking for Jackles dirt. If they don’t like her, why would they play along with a big manufactured romance?

  5. Dear Julia,

    We feel so sorry. How could any man be so cruel, especially to such a special snowflake on her way to dates with other men in other cities.

    These machinations are so confusing.

    • Precisely! How can she be indignant about finding out that they’re not in an exclusive relationship when she’s broadcasting her plans to date other men? What kind of sense does that make?

      On another note, this red-tutu-at-the-Barbie-museum shot always throws me off momentarily. It takes my brain a couple of seconds to parse that she’s seated, not standing, and in the interim I goggle and marvel at how stumpy she looks in that outfit. Then I realize that her knees can’t be connected directly to her pelvis (although that would solve her thigh woes.)

  6. Sincerely really truly thinking of her mental health, I DO NOT think she should out him. That would be stooping to his level. I think she should keep what’s left of her dignity and just walk away, head held high. It would be a big breakthrough for her.

    • Nah, he’s a guy she met last night while she was out in Glorious New York City with the ineffable Randi Zuckerberg. They are each other’s latest follower.

      • yeah he did a parody of the crazy tom cruise scientology vid and recently went viral with a remake of a talking heads song where he is dressed as patrick bateman from american psycho. I don’t think its him because he went to Harvard or some Ive League and JA never mentioned Code Name TK’s school, so I don’t think TK went to an Ivy.

  7. i DO kind of feel bad for her. no one deserves to get played like that. i think this could be one of those times where it would be okay if she embraces the crazy and makes him pay like hell. lodwick his ass!!!!

    • Make him pay for WHAT exactly? Emailing her for three years and seeing her in person three times and not becoming her devoted slave? Just because she got on MTV and said it was true love, doesn’t mean he was on board with that. I’m sure there is a very different side to this story.

  8. If this is all real, can she really be that upset? She was blogging about going on dates with other people BEFORE she got that email. Serves her right.

    Also… Didn’t she basically do the same thing to a boyfriend/fiancée years ago? For all of her braying about karma, it looks like she’s finally getting her payback. And at the start of her “epic” weekend. Heh.

    • I am guessing she started blogging about dates because TK was giving her the old “I’m just not that into you” signals and she was following her standard playbook — make him jealous by talking about all the other guys you’re seeing. It worked so well with Har-Har, remember? That’s when she started braying about BootyCall. If there’s anyone whose existence I doubt, by the way, it’s BootyCall’s. That was just a little bit too convenient.

      “What’s that, Harvard Harley? You’re not that into me? Well guess what??!!?? I don’t care!!! Because I have a BootyCall guy and we send dirty texts!!! I go to his apartment and we have dirty sex!! I never liked you anyway!!!”

      Everything is a game.

      • Everything is a game.” Which is why she will be alone for the rest of her life.

        And sorry, but I have no sympathy for her. Tweeting about her relationhip was stupid and it was her tweets and her desperation and her stupidity that ultimately burned her. We could all see it comin from a mile away… Beginning with the fact that he never took her anywhere in LA.

  9. I feel fucking awful for her. Seriously.

    Maybe this will push her into a breakdown and treatment for her serious psychiatric problems, in which case something terrible can become the best thing that ever happened to her.

    • I feel really bad for her too. I never doubted Codenametk’s existence based on the long twitter trail confirming it. Not sure why anyone could still think he was fake…

      Her feelings about her may have been fake or amplified and same from him, but she believed it in her head.

      Sounds like a Grade A douche to me. How could he be so fucking brazen with all his friends coming over and being “in” on the lie….Douchey of them too.

      • Yes but, you have no idea what he s actually said versus what she’s telling us. I know for a FACT she’s a grade A douche, so I’m taking everything she says with a giant grain of salt .

      • I think he’s real. I think the girlfriend drama is just her excuse for getting dumped and trying to get attention.

    • What a FUN flight to be on!!!!!

      Departure was delayed for 45 minutes until the rogue tweeter was located & communication to the tower was restored.

      A 30-something crying baby on board, in a fetal-position w/ her ass-ramp blocking the aisle, brought to a halt the progression of the drink-cart to the obese cat ladies in the last row …

      Seat cushions ~ not just an ass-plant & flotation device ~ can’t somebody muzzle this bitch already?

  10. You know, I was starting to feel bad for her about this. And then she @’ed him on Twitter.

    She’s still the same ol’ Jackles.

    • I don’t feel sorry for her at all. She’s treated guys like shit in the past and acts like an immature douche herself. Karma is a bitch … Just like you always say, right Julia?

      • I so need to keep this in mind. Why do I feel sorry for her? Is it just a girl thing? Ugh. You are all so right.

    • And the other thing — why does she have so many trust issues with men?

      Have any of them actually fooled around on her? [REDACTED] banged Leven after they’d split up.

      And yet we know she’s fooled around on several.

      • Trust issues = daddy issues.

        And I would not believe everything Julia says, TJ. You have to remember we’re talking about a pathological liar. I am sure there us another side to the story. Although this all reeks of pathetic high school drama and I feel a little dirty even taking about it. It could all be made up in her schizo head.

      • I agree with Grimace, there is some serious Daddy trust issues. Maybe Daddy Baugher had his own dalliances, that Robyn forgave him for, but Julia did not? Maybe, she holds Daddy in psychological ransom for it?

        Who knows, but it all stems from the wacky world of Baugher.

    • It isn’t that surprising. Most dating columnists are the last people you would ever want to take dating advice from.

      Though most of them don’t put their personal dating hell on display 24/7.

  11. I still think he’s fake. He only tweets when they are in the same city? And why would she care if she’s dating other people…she is going on and on about dates in SF and CH so it’s clear she didn’t think they were exclusive. And what does “figured out who he was from my twitter” mean? Figured out who her boyfriend was? Figured out from “@CodenameTK” that her boyfriend was dating someone else? Makes no sense.

    It’s just her next set of material as an “internet dating expert” where she will bray that she knew a guy from facebook for THREE YEARS and she thought she could trust him and he played her, so you kids out there in the Alexa Chung audience…be careful who you trust from facebook, etc etc etc.


    • All his friends were @juliaallison AND @codenametk….

      Obvious HE IS REAL.

      Also, some of us have information re: his perhaps identity and are working for confirmation. He does exist, though.

    • Just speculating, but if she was sensing something wasn’t right, to suddenly start Tweeting about other dates is straight from the Jackles Game-Playing Playbook. She always does that. She did it this time, then found out her instincts were correct, and has now lost it on a six-hour flight.

      Which is pretty funny, when you think about it. She’s in the air right now dying to Tweet and blog the shit out of this, and can’t.

      • yes. no matter how i feel about the situation (which i’m beginning to have less sympathy now that all these valid points are being raised) i’m mostly excited to witness the aftermath!! how many hours until she lands and the twitter floodgates are opened?

      • how many hours until the late-night, teary-eyed video? This is just yet another cross for our poor Julia to bear. sniffle.

      • also, jacy…that does make sense. She tweets about the other dates to see if he gets jealous. Because everyone knows jealousy = love!!!

      • She does it every fucking time. She was even doing it when she first started dating [REDACTED] and he was being cagey. She did it throughout the Eater Guy thing. She did it with Har-Har.

        It is one of her standard manipulations, yet it NEVER, EVER works because it only serves to underscore what a childish loon she is. You’d think she might have figured that out by now.

      • Yup! She wrote that literally 2-3 hours before her revealing the cheating thing. She was ONTO something. She didn’t have the evidence yet but it was in the works.

  12. Um. When I date a guy, I don’t consider it exclusive until that conversation comes up. Maybe one of us is still seeing dating, maybe one of us is still recovering from a past relationship, or just isn’t looking for a relationship. TK didn’t do anything wrong. At worst, he could have told her that he wasn’t looking for a relationship (this is assuming the guy even exists). But then, maybe he did and she just ignored it.

    Point being, it’s insane to assume you’re exclusive after a few dates, and it’s childish. I can see that happening when you have the emotional maturity of a teenager, but grown-ups know that relationships develop at their own pace and involve two people, not one.

    Plus, please… the woman just fake-claimed to have a bunch of other dates lined up. If her horror is genuine, she’s delusional.

    • I agree with you on all of this, but still, I read it and felt sorry for her…

      This is why I can’t understand why people live their lives so publicly — tweets, etc, etc.

    • I read it a different way. I read that TK was exclusive with the other girl. That is, he had a girlfriend while dating Julia. Although I wouldn’t expect to be exclusive with someone after only a few dates, I would be devastated to find out he was supposedly exclusive with someone else while “dating” me.

      • That’s how I read it too: he had a gf who found out he was doing… whatever… with Julia. It would be extra weird if he was casually dating some other chick and she emailed Julia to tell her that.

      • Bingo!

        Since she was going on dates with others, I can’t imagine she’d be so devastated if he was doing the same. My money’s on that he was more serious with this other girl, and that’s what’s tearing her apart.

        I actually feel bad to JA…that’s shitty. TK’s a douchebag.

    • The picture really does complete it.

      The tutu says pedophile party. The eyes say I’ll cut a Bolt bitch.

  13. Honestly, I feel terrible for the girl. Things just haven’t been going her way lately. I know there’s the whole she’s-not-a-good-person thing, but it really just amplifies the sadness of her story and life.

    Whether or not our portrait of her character is true, I’m sure there’s evidence in both columns (and people are so complicated, that columns certainly don’t seem fair to accommodate the gray areas we all host), Julia has proven, time and time again, that she is unaware of her faults, and perhaps is unwilling to confront them. I know that we, here, usually criticize her for that – it is fair to, certainly – but imagine how that must feel, to read dozens of posts and hundreds of comments each day that describe something you aren’t willing to accept exists.

    Coupled with the announcement of her younger brother’s impending marriage, her need to make a potentially life-changing decision as to where to move, and the normal, intrinsic desire to love someone – despite how unlovable you may be- you have the perfect storm for a breakdown. This is not even mentioning the career disappointment that, I’m sure, she harbors.

    And yes, she’s done terrible things to boyfriends. And no, I’m in no way critiquing the timbre of this website – I read daily, and comment occasionally. I just feel that, whenever someone gets hurt, regardless of the character of his or her character, a bit of empathy is required.

    So today, I feel bad for Julia Allison. Tomorrow, I might hate myself for it.

    • I once felt bad for her and the next day she took pictures of a stranger on a bus and posted it on the internet and called her names that had implied racial undertones and then I stopped feeling bad for her because she is a sucky person. Boo hoo, she got played by someone who was obviously not that in to her. She has dated married people, dumped people who truly cared for her like hot potatoes, and publicly outed her ex’s mental illnesses and then demanded he buy her stuff. There is no need for sympathy.

      Also…we can’t hurt her feelings because SHE DOESN’T READ HERE!!!!!

      • True and true, I suppose.

        I guess I just can’t help it. As someone who’s lived through a similar disappointment, I know how it feels to realize just how powerful your willful ignorance has been, and to hate yourself for it. It’s pretty sucky, but alas, you’re right, too.

      • I really can’t feel bad for what people make up in their own heads. It’s something they control and therefore it’s a choice they made. I wouldn’t want anyone feeling bad for me for doing stupid shit to myself. In fact, I try to keep that stuff off the radar till I’ve come to my senses.

      • It’s some guy she knew from facebook and who visited her once in NY and she visited him once in LA (and he basically refused to be seen in public with her or allow pics of himself on her blog or use his real name). That’s not someone who cares and is committed to her. This isn’t her husband of 10 yrs coming home and saying “there’s someone else and I’m leaving you”. She was trying to make fetch happen, it didn’t happen and now she is making him look like the bad guy even though I am SURE he never told her they were exclusive. And any girl who thinks a cross-country facebook boyfriend is exclusive deserves what she gets. Let’s be real. Time to wake up and smell the blueprint cleanse.

      • I’m with you, FHT. We’ve all been played and fucked over. Even though it hurts, you can usually, if you’re honest with yourself, realize that you were choosing not to see the reality.

        It’s happened to me, but it was a long-term relationship, and it was brutally painful. And the funny thing is she’s going to go on about this as though they were married for 15 years, and that’s when she’s really going to piss me off. Because this wasn’t a real relationship at all; they barely knew one another. If she starts playing the victim card, my head will explode.

        You fucked up, Donkey, now move on.

    • It’s called life. We all have joy, sadness, despair and bliss in our own lives. The difference being we share these with friends and family. We don’t post, blog and tweet every moment hoping for validation, sympathy, attention or relevance from Internet strangers. She puts it out there, she deserves what she gets. Sympathy? Not so much.

  14. This one kills me: “You know, ladies: when your instinct is that something is off, believe me: IT IS.”
    Look in the fucking mirror, Julia Allison Baugher. No need to rely on “instinct” to tell you “something is off” there.
    Quelle dramatique.

  15. I just looked at the picture a little closer & noticed something …

    I have the same yoga shirt she’s wearing w/ the red tutu.

  16. Julia, how do you thinK Lilly feels??!!

    You don’t let her date or bring boy dogs over.
    You don’t let her stay out late.

  17. So…this WON’T be the epic-est weekend ever? 🙁

    What’s up with this coconut? Wasn’t she just bragging about having dates lined up across the country? Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong (the sound of Jankles’ rock-like brain striking against her incredibly thick skull)!!!

    • She should listen to her self-help books and see the situation in a more positive light – with all these mystery dates lined up, she can go straight to rebounding. If that’s not convenient, I don’t know what is.

  18. “Liz from Long Island University — LET IT UNFOLD!”

    Jacy, omg, thank you for bringing that back. God, it was all so innocent back then, when we were discussing Liz from LIU.

  19. I don’t feel sorry for her at all and no one can make me empathize. She is a braying donkey fool. She thinks she is following the Secret or some such and she almost makes me think that fool shit works:

    When you are an ugly on the inside narcissist with only selfish thoughts and a list of wants a mile long that you think the universe somehow owes you, yeah, this is the kind of fucked up, shallow, empty world you have created for yourself.

    There you go, Julia!

  20. aww, i can’t snark on this. feel bad for her. i remember a similar experience happening to me when i was about her age and dating in manhattan. julia, stay strong….don’t spiral, and take a lesson from this.

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