Yulia still has a vaheena

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Hello, peoples. It is I, Russian Girl. I have taken off the vodka-juice party hat and stopped sexing the goats long enough to log onto my computer that is powered by the yerbils. And who do I find?

I’m finally home after a long day of vh1’ing & whatnot, and am about to commence attempts to pack my little pink suitcase for a week of gallivanting around the country.  First stop: San Francisco, for Mr. Dave Morin (pictured above) and hispreemptively epic birthday bash, along with quality time withRandi and … a date.  Secondary stop: Chicago, where I will partake in family activities … and a date.  Finally back in the city Saturday, a week hence.  (But no date.  It’s like I’m allergic to men in my own city.  hahah)  Okay, I suppose that isn’t SO much gallivanting.  It felt more gallivant-ish in my head.

Seriously, I have to stop procrastinating and actually deal with my empty suitcase.  Three hours of sleep does not a decisive packer make.

So hold telephones. Is this Poofy’s way of telling Teensy Kremlin that she is date the other peoples? And telling us as well? And he maybe come back to her then? I no like these mind games. Hey, I have idea, Poofy: SHUT IT AND JUST FIND MAN – ANY MAN REALLY AT THIS POINTS! There is an old man in my village named Antinko. He has the hands of hard field worker and boobies of lady. He would maybe date you. (If you no Twitter about it.)

45 COMMENTS

  1. Julia has the hands of a hard field worker and the boobies of a lady too. She and Antinko are made for each other.

    Seriously, what is this game playing bullshit.

  2. RUSSIAN GIRL!!!!!!!!

    How can you make fake boyfriends jealous? Do imaginary people have the capacity for complex thought?

    • the only parties she gets invited to anymore are the ones across the country. if she doesn’t go, where will all of the “a” game content come from? and how will she meet men that she has to take a plane ride to not-have-sex with?

    • Yeah, didn’t she actually spout some crap just a week or two ago about global warming? And now she has the gall to do this?

  3. Julia: Keeping it Classy!

    “Julia Allison: Facebook just suggested I become friends with some guy named “Jake Lodwick.” Yeah … um … about that.
    October 12 at 11:30pm
    3 people like this.”

  4. Oh how I love Russian Girl. I love Russian Girl the way Jordan loves whatshisface. The way Meghan loves the little slum dogs. The way Mary loves colon-blowing. The way Julia loves herself.

  5. I’m curious as to who the Chicago date is… i hope she isn’t using that poor high school friend/nightclub owner to make TK jealous. I hate women who flirt with club owners and lead them on in order to get free drinks, a “VIP” table, and make believe that Jay Cutler actually hit on them there because he commented on her headband.

  6. wa wa what?! wasn’t julia supposed to take allie wedding dress shopping this weekend in NY? according to her calendar britt and allie are visiting NY this weekend, and now all of a sudden she’s jetting to SF for some tool’s b-day?

  7. Dave Morin is actually a great guy. Obviously suffering a complete lack of sanity when it comes to Julia.

  8. Can we get some handwriting analysis on the note to dad? I mean, the fact that she felt the need to photograph it and post it on her lifeaghast tells us most of what we need to know, but I’d still be intrigued. Any pros here?

    • The salutation alone! “Welcome to the Hotel Allison Dad”. Now, her father knows damn well that Allison is not her surname. Shouldn’t it be “Hotel Julia” or “Hotel Baugher”? And commas are used in forms of address! The name of the putative hotel is not “Hotel Allison Dad.” It should be rendered, “Welcome to the Hotel Allison, Dad.”

      When you fancy yourself a “writer,” you need to understand that everything you put online is part of your public body of work. Sigh.

  9. Welcome back Russian Girl! I’m sure your flock of goats needed tending, but it’s nice to have you here to shine the light on the ridiculousness.

  10. “and … a date. Secondary stop: Chicago, where I will partake in family activities … and a date. ”

    I can almost hear TK breathing a tremendous sigh of relief.

  11. breaking news: juliaallison: Finding out @codenametk had another girlfriend THE ENTIRE TIME = mind boggling. I protected him. I trusted him. What a fool I was. (6 minutes ago from Echofon)

    what’s sad is that i don’t even believe any of this.

    • Yeah he’s got another girl. Her name is Swifter. Dudes we totes called the fishiness WHEN HE WOULDN’T BE SEEN WITH HER IN PUBLIC.

    • “THE ENTIRE TIME”, Julia?
      Do you mean that one date you two had in LA to meet each other in person for the first time? That one weekend he spent in NY? Or the one weekend you invited yourself to LA?
      Wow. What a cad, huh? All the time you were twittering about how you needed to find a boyfriend by Thanksgiving, or making a video about how you wanted a boyfriend, he was supposed to think HE was your boyfriend? THAT ENTIRE TIME? He was supposed to know that you were exclusive? THE ENTIRE TIME!?
      You know what, Julia? Fuck off.
      You protected him? FUCK OFF!!!! Respecting someone’s preference for discretion is not PROTECTING THEM you dumb cunt, it’s just being NORMAL, most people wouldn’t have to insist and most girlfriends wouldn’t fucking BEG the way you did to reveal his identity. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!
      You don’t even make sense. Get some goddamn help. Srsly.

    • So at 12:21 am someone asks for an explanation about what happened with TK and 8 hours later one convienently appears? Please. No one is reading here. Nope.

  12. ALL SHE FUCKING DOES IS GO ON VACATIONS. Does she really expect us to believe she has a “job?” Go fuck!

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