Julia: Gettin’ Her Fucking Please Stop It Now On

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In an empty conference room at ICM waiting to get my meeting on with @GeorgeRuiz & other superstars. @CodeNameTK drove me (53 bonus points!)

I am seriously gettin’ my homicidal rageaholic on.

110 COMMENTS

  1. Does she think it sounds distinctly LA to say these things? I never noticed it before she arrived in Los Angeles.

  2. Getting her _____ on is a poor substitute for gettin’ IT on, which is apparently not happening.

    • Yeah, just read this on the NYTimes and came over to say that Julia better start gettin’ her full disclosure on.

  3. I can see it now:

    Agent: “So, Julia, I noticed that you made motor car sounds when you walked up to the building.”

    Julia: “Yes, that was just my imaginary boyfriend, TK, dropping me off. It’s a new paradigm that I’m getting a shift on. He has over 150 followers on Twitter!”

    Agent: “Um, ya, now about this FCC ruling…”

    Julia: “It doesn’t matter, I’m gonna have TK abduct me, and then RBNS is going to be all worried. They will feel so, so bad! Page views will go through the roof! I counted all the lonelygirl15 page views last night!”

    Agent: “But what about digital dating?”

    Julia: “Doesn’t matter, I’m getting a fucking Streamy. Suck it Ruiz!”

    Agent: “Um, security?!”

  4. I’d hardly call her agent a “superstar.” What exactly have her “dozens” of agents done for her in the past year? Got her phantom almost keynote speeches than never happened approximately 50 times?

    • Dude has been with ICM for 12 years and I’ve never heard of the people he reps:

      “His clients include Felicia Day (The Guild, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog), Alex Albrecht (Diggnation, The Totally Rad Show, Project Lore), Xeni Jardin (BoingBoing) and Veronica Belmont (Tekzilla, Qore).”

      Of course, in Julia’s mind, any agent who takes her calls is a superstar! Get your hype on, babe!

      • If those are his clients, I’d say Julia is angling to get some sort of web show. But if this Bravo reject’s body of work is any indication (the barely-watched snoozefest that is TMI Weakly) that poor agent has his work cut out for him.

        JULIA: YOU ARE UTTERLY UNWATCHABLE ON CAMERA. GIVE IT UP!!

      • I could be wrong, but I heard that he also represents a recently discovered tortilla shell bearing the likeness of our blessed partypants.

      • And that tortilla shell has earned him a larger commission than Julia Allison has. 10% of 0.01 cents per click though ad = $1.32.

      • I too, <3 Felicia Day, and am horrified at the thought of Julia being connected to Day in any way, even if it's just sharing an agent.

      • psht. like felicia day would even talk to julia.

        have you guys seen the photos of felicia’s bookshelf? it makes me hot.

      • Most of those articles were published in magazines you wouldn’t know. They’re not from here. They’re from Canada. She met them at camp. And they’re hot.

      • You can learn more about those magazines at the Paradigm Shifters Today Conference. To be held… in the near future… in Dublin. Julia is the keynote speaker. She might go. Or not. If she does go, her agent will earn a HUGE commission of her speaking fees. If he can cash in cupcakes at the bank.

    • That’s awesome.
      My friend recently drove from NH to Florida and did a cameraphone pictoral of the trip. This remonds me of that. He took all these pix of himself in men’s rooms.
      Like he’s sitting on the toilet at a Mobil station in Penns. and click! And here he is standing at a urinal in Savannah. Click. And he never looked at the camera. They looked totally candid. Dozens of them.

      Maybe that’s what Julia’s doing here. Taking pictures of herself in the shitter.

    • “Can’t go wrong with Aqua by Bloomies…” until you get fined $11,000 (isn’t that about your entire NS income from last year??) for suspiciously mentioning them over and over and not disclosing you get free or discounted product.

      And yeah, that bathroom picture is all kinds of sad. Not to mention unprofessional. Who wears a summer sundress to a business meeting in October? What a hick. I bet her “agents” (agentS, people!! more than one!!!) had a good laugh at lunch over this bumpkin.

      • OMG this loser needs new clothes!!!! All she does is rock the same outfits over and over. It’s always ones that are fitted up top and flair out in a dress to cover the fatness she may have under there

      • Confidential to all of you: there’s no doubt in my mind that she is sponsored by bloomingdales. At least that’s what she claimed in an email “her representative” sent to my boss (whom i personally assist-not in the fun, sex-filled way, but a very boring, professional way) asking him to “lend” her something his company produces. It happened well over 6 months ago and i am as vague as possible. Just imagine my shock when he asked me if i’ve ever heard of Julia Allison.

      • Are you lax about frumpy, poorly dressed braydonkeys with bad dye jobs running around your office? 😉

        I don’t really think she has a sponsorship deal with Aqua (why would they want a chubby 30 year old representing their very junior focused line?) but I would not put it past her to abuse liberal return policies of high end department stores. THAT is why I think you see her wear the same things over and over again and then never again.

      • well i distinctly remember my boss saying that she is sponsored by Aqua. He asked me if i’ve heard of her because in the email she said her audience are mostly young females in their 20s (which i am).

      • i should say” she definitely “was” sponsored by aqua, because it’s possible they no longer do that.

      • The senior Aqua buyer at Bloomies, a good friend of mine swears she’s getting no free clothing and has no sponorship deal. They’ve never given Aqua freebies because they have no need to, it’s one of their highest mark ups.

      • in all probability, both idiotbox and jing could be right: it’s highly likely that Yulia is NOT sponsored by Aqua, but she (and her “people”) say that she is to get more/better sponsorships and swag. it’s like saying she works for NBC. sort of, technically true but … not.

      • well, to be fair, i didn’t read that email so i don’t really know what she….”her representative” wrote. She asked my boss for his product and he said that there are many companies who “lend” her things and they are happy about that or some shit like that. I am pretty definitely certain he said “aqua” as one of those companies, bur i may be wrong. my boss has no connection to bloomingdales.
        i don’t know if he lent her his stuff but she never mentioned the company and one of the new york housewives was denied her “loan” so my guess is he either sent her something crappy or nothing at all.

      • i am having an oversharer’s remorse. i don’t believe in karma, but i don’t believe in ghosts either and i sure as hell won’t go in to the storage room in my mom’s house during the night.
        anyway, karma, please don’t be tempted. and for the record, i love my boss.

      • idiot box

        I think she probably said she hypes the brand and stretched the truth that she gets it for free. bloomies is pretty liberal with their employee discount an such. maybe she’s getting a nice discount through a friend or fan or supporter. didn’t mean to say your info was wrong. And my friend may be wrong…I totally trust that Julia did write that to your boss.

  5. These LA posts are bizarre and doomy, almost Lynchian. What is she exactly doing there other than presenting a nonsensical, disjointed portrait of a meltdown. She’s spooking me.

  6. it is just impossible for her to embrace the contemporaneous. that is all. she is always, at least, 4 years behind on everything.

    god, what a loser.

    • Goddamn it Mary, stop winning me over.
      Remember how during one of tmi livestreams someone suggested she should get a job extinguishing wild fires with her feet and she totally chuckled?

      • it won’t take long for mary to remind everyone that she is wicked mean, wicked judgemental and has a seriously repulsive sense of entitlement. Going to the gym for three hours a day does not make you a hard worker, Mary. As far as I can see the woman is a professional vacationer who occassionally takes time off to drink too much and punish herself through too much exercise and not enough food. All she does is travel and hit the gym. Goddamn, she should have a sense of humor! What’s she got to be grumpy about?

      • She is still repulsive. After she tans and drinks too much, the she abuses her body through quackery like colon cleansing and colonics, to flush out “toxins” all while injecting toxins into her face to erase that sun damage. Mary is a dumb, jobless do nothing of very limited intelligence. Please don’t give her too much credit.

      • agreed again, shamoolia.

        healthy food, properly washed is not ‘toxic.’ it’s how you nourish your body with necessary vitamins and nutrients.

        too much drinking without eating and botox is what is toxic.

        mary makes cleansing seem like neurotic horrible behavior b/c she uses it for the wrong reasons. actually detoxifying a) involves healthy foods and b) doesn’t involve constant colonics. bitch is ano, straight up.

      • Disgustingly entitled, snooty bitch as she may be otherwise, at least she has the power to laugh at her own ridiculousness and make fun of herself now and then. Unlike JULIA…

      • Mary is not laughing at herself. She’ll go on and on about how “hard” she works and how she “deserves” this vacation because her readers have no idea how hard it is to sit at her computer for hours doing “research” and answering emails.

    • i’m with shamoolia, drinking too much, eating too little and exercising compulsively is hard on your body! cleansing is meant to clean you — and after you have done it, you are supposed to try and keep it clean.

      who the fuck does a cleanse and then goes right out the next week and gets wasted in mexico, eating a scant amount of rich food? a fucking anorexic, that’s who. mary is not even the most remote bit health conscious in the truest sense.

      this shit (ahem) is about being skinny and nothing more. ‘health’ is just a smoke screen for her to revel in her fatty hating ano ways.

      • A quick scan of her blog reveals some truly disgusting pro ana content. Her constant talk of “toxins” and “cleansing” is extremely disordered. Food = bad, toxic. Starvation diets = good, returning body to “normalcy.”

        She spews some seriously disturbing bullshit on her blog and sadly I am sure some of her ignorant readers follow her advice.

      • But she will swear up and down she hardly ever lays out and “needs” Botox for her “expressive face!” HA!

        Her tanning and Botox and extreme dieting have left her looking not a day under 40. She’s going to look like Magda in five years.

      • That’s why she looks 45 and has all those forehead wrinkles. I am 3 years older than she is and i have NO WRINKLES because I’ve been protecting my skin since puberty.

        NEWSFLASH! The sun causes skin damage and premature aging! And that’s why you look like a cougar at 28.

    • Only a person who takes way too many vacations would be bothered to give a shout-out to haters while on vacation. Normal people with jobs would be too busy enjoying themselves to use the Internet for anything other than finding the nearest bar.

      • Exactly. This comment could apply to both Mary and Julia. How sad is it that they can’t just enjoy their vacation and some time away from the internet? Just goes to show you what desperate, miserable people they must be in real life. And WE’RE the “lonely, sort of sad adults???”

    • I can’t really hate on Mary, despite her often being superficial, catty, entitled, etc. She seems immature, mostly, but I think she does have a heart.

      • Sorry, I don’t agree. People who have a heart don’t say – on camera!! – that their supposed “friends” want to “make them vomit.” She’s got a scary mean streak.

      • I can’t hate on her because she hates Julia and we do too. I too wanted to vomit when I saw the grey lace tights and the polyester blazer over the black romper.

      • seconded. she is vile and mean, but so am i sometimes. i think we should be friends. i would tell her what i really think (like she does for julia), and then maybe she wouldn’t be so annoying (see: car buying posts that sent me into a frustrated rage).

      • Yes, Melissa Sue, we could tell her to fucking eat something, to pull her head out of her ass re: the cleanses and the colon blows, and tell her to pour herself another drink and embrace the Julia Hate. Own it, you skinny bitch. OWN IT.

      • Yeah it was very meta. And on the one hand it DID make me like her. I mean, she’s here, she’s skillful enough to know defending herself is useless so she better co-opt us,so at least its rather honest. Like shes not my type but shes real, right? Until I think about the fact that shes on a hate site for someone who is supposedly her business partner and one of her best buds. Andit makes her seem like a nasty two faced lady. Oh well I dont know her hence dont really care, but Im glad shes not MY pal…

  7. BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH… I’m loving it!

    FTC: Bloggers must disclose any freebies or payments they get for writing product reviews
    By: Associated Press

    October 5, 2009
    The Federal Trade Commission will try to regulate blogging for the first time, requiring writers on the Web to clearly disclose any freebies or payments they get from companies for reviewing their products.
    The FTC said Monday its commissioners voted 4-0 to approve the final Web guidelines, which had been expected. Violating the rules, which take effect Dec. 1, could bring fines up to $11,000 per violation. Bloggers or advertisers also could face injunctions and be ordered to reimburse consumers for financial losses stemming from inappropriate product reviews.

    The commission stopped short of specifying how bloggers must disclose conflicts of interest. Rich Cleland, assistant director of the FTC’s advertising practices division, said the disclosure must be “clear and conspicuous,” no matter what form it will take.

    Bloggers have long praised or panned products and services online. But what some consumers might not know is that many companies pay reviewers for their write-ups or give them free products such as toys or computers or trips to Disneyland. In contrast, at traditional journalism outlets, products borrowed for reviews generally have to be returned.

    Before the FTC gave notice last November it was going to regulate such endorsements, blogs varied in the level of disclosures about these potential conflicts of interest.

    The FTC’s proposal made many bloggers anxious. They said the scrutiny would make them nervous about posting even innocent comments.

    To placate such fears, Cleland said the FTC will more likely go after an advertiser instead of a blogger for violations. The exception would be a blogger who runs a “substantial” operation that violates FTC rules and already received a warning, he said.

    Existing FTC rules already banned deceptive and unfair business practices. The final guidelines aim to clarify the law for the vast world of blogging. Not since 1980 had the commission revised its guidelines on endorsements and testimonials.

    Cleland said a blogger who receives a freebie without the advertiser knowing would not violate FTC guidelines. For example, someone who gets a free bag of dog food as part of a promotion from a pet shop wouldn’t violate FTC guidelines if he writes about the product on his blog.

    Blogger Linsey Krolik said she’s always disclosed any freebies she’s received on products she writes about, but has stepped up her efforts since last fall. She said she adds a notice at the end of a post, “very clear in italics or bold or something — this is the deal. It’s not kind of buried.”

    • Nooo … you don’t change the spelling of formal names …
      Kennedy / Kennedy’s ~ not Kennedies
      Bush / Bush’s ~ not Bushes

      Cuz I care 🙂

      • Okay, I’ve lurked on this site for a long time, but this is the one thing that will inspire me to comment: never pluralize with an apostrophe. “Bushes” is correct. “Kennedys” is correct. If Julia Allison teamed up with a group of scientists, cloned herself, and amassed a clone army or fronted a Supremes-style all-clone girl group, they would be the Julia Allisons.

      • Getting My Grammar on is right.

        Also:

        “Watching @CodeNameTK & roommate get their cook on – stirfry chicken, if you must know. I already ate (thanks fedex’d @BPCleanse!)17 minutes ago from web”

      • Getting My Grammar On: It’s one of my pet peeves. And you see it on SIGNS that people put on their front lawns. It makes me crazy.

    • Unfortunately for most people who love stereotypes, many Texans aren’t that dense. We also know the appropriate usage of apostrophes. That is, when we aren’t ropin’ cattle on our ranches while wearing ten-gallon hats and shootin’ our rifles, that is.

  8. Anyone else find it amusing that TK gets his bodyguard on by keeping his roommate handy. Why is that I wonder?

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