Julia Allison: OY

Me: I found a boyfriend.
Meghan: WHO?
Me: [laughs hysterically]
Meghan: Oh, I know. [redacted]
Me: No! Not HIM! [redacted]!!
Megan: That red hair is making you crazy.

140 COMMENTS

  1. Ha! I don’t know why but this little bit of insanity made me laugh more than her other recent efforts. “I found a boyfriend”…..

    God, I was watching NYC PREP (my guilty pleasure) and this is literally the way the 16 year old lads on the show talk about finding gals.

  2. Great. How about finding a psycotherapist to help you overcome your Narcissistic Personality and Histrionic Disorders?

      • normally, i agree, but this does sound stupid enough on megs’ part to be real. on the other hand it does follow the classic JA reported conversation template:
        JA: OMG OMG ME ME ME
        other person: no way your life is so crazy and exciting!
        JA: ME ME ME [redacted]
        other person: [redacted]
        JA: banality ME ME ME banality etc.
        other person: JA-manufactured punchline

    • exactly. what is even the point of posting this bullshit? so we know she’s found a date for prom? he’s not your boyfriend if you can’t tell people. (and, sorry, but meghan is too stupid to count as people.)

      also, can we discuss that she’s been on only one date with this guy and already calling him her boyfriend? even though she’s dating at least 2 (possibly imaginary) other people?

      she should have gotten that tattoo on her forehead, backwards. maybe then she’d remember to stop trying so hard.

    • I wonder if these “conversations” she’s always posting are spoken, on IM, or via text. She never explains. I also wonder if, when spoken, she stops the other person and asks them to repeat what they said so she can get it posted immediately.

      I think we are supposed to think Julia and her friends are so clever and witty. But all these posts usually go to show is how banal and terrible Julia’s sense of humor really is.

      • She quoted her mom the other day, “Marriage is a life time of conversations.” She thought is was FUCKING brilliant, obvious. Seems kinda obvious and dim in my view.

      • I’m beginning to think that many of these conversations (and dates) are hallucinations. Maybe there’s a carbon monoxide leak in her apartment, or lead in her drinking water. Quick, Julia, for god’s sake buy a canary. If it drops dead, run like hell (all the way back to Chicago).

  3. WHO SAYS “I found a boyfriend”?? Let alone, someone who’s supposedly happy being single and doesn’t want to get married?

    I really used to like Julia, before the jakobandjulia fiasco. I thought she was a good balance of self-assured and self-depreciating. But now she’s soooo desperate for some kind of male validation in her life and everything revolves around finding a guy to make her feel okay, that she’s lost any hint of self-restraint. She’s gone off the effin’ deep end in the past year and a half, and I’m embarrassed for her.

    You don’t “find” a boyfriend, Julia. You decide, in talks with the other person, that you’ll be exclusive. Then you say things like “[redacted] and I are official!” or “[redacted] asked me to be his gf last night” or hell, you don’t say anything and let it…… unfold.

    Dumbass.

    • OR you say “John and I are official” and LOSE THE REDACTED.

      Sorry. That [redacted] just drives me insane. If you can’t talk about it, DONT TALK ABOUT IT.

      Carry on.

      • Yes! Or how about, “I met someone I like, and we’re really hitting it off.” What the hell is with “I found a boyfriend.” Good Christ, this girl.

      • i found a boyfriend on the sale rack at barney’s.

        my ineffable readers/fan gifted me this boyfriend i’ve been lusting after.

        i stole this boyfriend from susan g. komen.

    • “Found a BF” — he’s just an object, you see. She’s been looking for one just like him and she found him. Like he’s a pair of fucking stinky Steve Maddens.

    • Letting It Unfold, you’re doing it wrong.

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA SHE HAS SOMETHING PERMANENTLY INKED ON HER BODY AND STILL DOES IT WRONG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

  4. I wonder if she met this latest one at a mental institution. Because seriously, who in their right mind would get involved with her at this point? She must be getting Punk’d.

  5. I this the Jewish, oops, sorry, “Comedy Writer?” Or the boyfriend in Canada? Or the California one from Facebook?

    • the benefit of [redacted] is that she doesn’t have to remember which fake boyfriend she’s supposedly in love with this time around

    • I am thinking this is the one in California. Oh God Mary must be freaking, having just moved across the country to escape her. Oh wait … she’ll blow this one too with the Tweeting and the lunacy. It’ll be done in no time, if she isn’t making the entire thing up to justify whatever she’s concocting now.

      • Only semi related:

        Did you notice that Meghan and Megan and her mom are invited to the breast cancer walk but not Mary. HATE

      • jing, mary only looks good in orange! she’d be so out of place surrounded by all of that pink!

      • unless the boyfriend is as famewhorish as julia… perhaps with a flesh-colored beard… omg her new boyfriend is spencer pratt!

      • Hmm.. guess Mare doesn’t have the distinction of being one of the donkey’s soulmates and that’s why she didn’t get a special invite (http://twitter.com/juliaallison/status/3302431715). Yes, that’s plural. I don’t really like the phrase ‘soulmate’ bc it is so thrown around it’s kind of meaningless- Julia’s tweet case in point. Having many soulmates kind of defeats the purpose of singling out a very special and important relationship with another person by saying they are your ‘soulmate’ when you are like “I have many soulmates, and Meghan is one of them bc she is so awesome and she is so awesome bc she is my soulmate. Seee?”

        p.s. I cannot imagine having to spend an entire evening with Meghan and her dear-in-headlights wide-eyed fake smile going on about the gadget she broke of the day and gossiping about these randos who call themselves internet famous for tech blogging and the pitfalls of blueprint cleanse on one’s sex life. Booze required.

    • Or her fuck buddy? Or the Ineffable Master Marquardt? Or the Creepydude88, the YSL sender? Or the guy who assembled her goddamn pink beach bike???

      She’s demented. And no, I don’t believe she has a boyfriend. (Was this a 3-way convo with both Megsters? Or can’t she even spell her friends’ names correctly?

  6. The thing is…most people in nyc don’t know who she is. Some average guy could easily date her and have no idea. Unless someone told him. She’s not nearly as infamous as she’d like to think she is.

      • Or who still wants to see you after Googling you and learning you’re deranged? One creepy fuck, that’s who.

    • Also, I am sure she is one of these people who goes on and on about her blog and begs people to read it. Sure of it.

      • She did tell this guy “my readers want to know” when she asked him if she could Tweet their date. Uhh, no, we really don’t, not until you’ve got the ring on your finger and start with the cuckoo-bird wedding plans.

      • Look for that shitty pink blog to suddenly be updated hourly with SMART. A-GAME. CONTENT.

        so she can look smarty-pants (not partypants) for the BOY. (cuz you know he ain’t no man.)

    • Agreed. And Julia has mastered SEO so when you Google her you don’t see any unflattering things on the first page. The guy would have to have a friend who reads Gawker or something to find everything out.

      Luckily, I don’t think the negative attention from blogs is what ruins Julia’s relationships. She seems to ruin her relationships (including friendships) pretty well on her own.

      I give this boyfriend 3 months, tops.

  7. Dear Julia,

    Nobody cares who you are dating. You are not not famous, you are not a star. You are not a star because you suck at what you do. You go on Alexa Chung, and you stink up the joint. Your taxi TV show is stupid filler. Your blog is ludicrous. You failed out of the only real media job you had, working for a supermarket tabloid. You don’t look like an ingénue, you look like a dumpy hausfrau. No number of image consultants, media coaches, cosmetic surgeons, or ICM agents can fix you.

    Your self-absorption, exhibitionism, and nastiness are yours to deal with, or not. Nobody cares anymore. We’ve seen the show. Nobody cares who’s next in the line of sorry bastards who date you, or use you, or exist only in your imagination. Nobody cares if you bring your dog. Nobody cares what you wear. Nobody cares where you live. Nobody wants to see your photos. Nobody wants to hear your voice. Nobody listens to what you say about anything at all.

    You’re not even a failure, because you never had the talent or the brains to be a contender.

    —-

    This is the end of the line for Sacred/Sponsored Scrapbooks. The pink sneakers were it for me. Many years ago a girl and I were in love. She was everything that Julia is not. She died of breast cancer. She was 30 years old.

    Have fun peoples.

    • Wow, that is awful. I am sorry, SS. We’ll miss you, please drop by every now and again to say hi. In the meantime, we will continue to humiliate this soulless selfish nutcase at every turn.

    • Good for you, getting the hell out of here. You are an inspiration (no joke). I am sorry to hear about your loss.

    • SS, there are no words.
      Sometimes there are are times when the vileness just makes your brain go fttzzzzzz.
      Be well and I’ve so enjoyed your comments.

    • I’m so sorry Sacred Scrapbooks, that is heartbreaking.

      I’d like to follow your example in leaving. I really think not hearing another word about this person ever again is for the best.

    • Sacred Scrapbooks, it will not be the same without you. Live long & prosper. Come back & visit once in a while if you feel up to it.

    • Sponsored – I’ve always felt a special connection with you. I am sorry, and be well. If you ever want to get in touch, you can reach me through Jacy. xoxo FG

    • yo ss!
      I hope you at least come back to read these comments!
      I know how it feels, and i’m impressed by your decsion.
      I’ll miss your insight and humor.
      Peace and strength to you!
      Come back anytime, there is no shame here!

    • Tragic yet beautiful story; my heart goes out to you SS.
      And I’ll miss you!! Your name on this blog sums up PERFECTLY just exactly what NonSociety is: a sponsored scrapbook.
      Yup, that Julia Allison is blindingly self-involved and insensitive in the extreme. “I want pink shoes” comes first; that those shoes represent support and fund-raising for Breast Cancer research, totally secondary.
      One step into the non-delusional world and I don’t doubt Julia Allison Baugher would wither like the Wicked Witch of the West in a bucket of reality water.

    • How horrible, I’m so sorry!
      I completely understand how this might be the end of the line for you.

      Julia is truly a nasty, vile human being.

    • SS, we love you and are sad to see you go. It’s disgusting how Julia is repellent for decent folks. Hope you come back to us someday.

  8. This site seems to have run out of steam. Same old blah blah all the time. Not interesting, insightful or funny. Hackneyed and meh.

  9. Oh crap, I’m dying to comment on the photo she posted of NonSociety Reader Emmanuela of Boston, but I’m sure my shallow, superficial, judgmental soul would immediately be catapulted to Hades. I am a truly vile person.

      • For starters, I think her cranium is collapsing. She could serve as a cautionary tale for what happens when you visit NS too often.

    • oh god, thanks for bringing this to our attention! lawl.
      by the looks of it, “emmanuela” was some cuervo promo girl who probably gave britt and allie free shots. i can’t imagine them drinking though, they seem so domestic and boring…

      • FC, so right! Last night at one of the joints on 2nd avenue in the UES they had those girls as well.

        It is so beyond sad that she has to resort to lies even about this. Buying them drinks, bullshit!!

    • Jesus, dude, read up on the latest developments if you’re going to come on here and piss in our sandbox. Join the party.

      • Confused. Totaljing said someone from NNN e-mailed that vid from a few posts ago? Isn’t that a TMI vid that Julia posted on her liecast?

      • I have no idea if NNN sent the video. It was my hunch that the tipster was NNN. Someone remixed the live footage.

      • An anonymous tipster sent the video. There is no indication it came from NNN. It could have been anyone who was able to download the archived live stream video.

    • You’re dropping it like it’s hot, and Jacy’s picking it up like it’s not. Ouch.

    • they purchase content to air in taxis and an lil known channel in NYC only. It’s bare bones, no real production division….it’s like public access for cabs.

      • Let’s not forget that they share offices with Tumblr.
        I guess that explains why she is always “dropping by” Tumblr to see her BFF David Karp!

      • Thank you. She probably ran his credit card and made the connection that way…IF THE ENTIRE STORY ISN’T A DAMN LIE, that is. Sorry, she is making me very shouty today. That beach bike thing pushed me over the edge. I own a small business and, if my marketing dollars went to some dope who regifted my promotional item immediately upon receipt, I’d (want to) introduce her face to the business end of a ball-peen hammer.

    • How much you want to bet Emmanuela walked up to the two of them , slammed two shot glasses and a full bottle of Cuervo on the table and said, “Hope this makes you forget about your psycho sister/sister in law to be. Sorry kids, you’re fucked.”

    • Did she have that entire photoshoot JUST so she could have a new facebook picture?

      When I change my facebook picture it is usually because I got drunk one night, thought I was having a good hair day, and abused photobooth on my mac.

  10. If the new boyfriend is remotely sane, he will make her get rid of (or stop wearing) the shoes. This makes me v anxious.

    • it should. then you will have to change your handle to Triumphant Tossing of the Shoes (in the Trash). that’s a little wordy.

    • Maybe I’m psychic, I don’t know, but I feel certain that Julia’s dude is going to build her a custom closet as big as her current apartment. He’ll encourage her to fill it to bursting with Manolos, YSLs, and Louboutins (all charged to his account, natch).

      Those Zappos shoes will end up at the Museum of Television (she’s famous, ya’ll) & Radio (and her shoes stink out loud.)

      • If we’re lucky, maybe that whole SATC storyline with Carrie getting left at the altar will play out for little miss Carrie 2.0.

  11. wtf is wrong with allie that she would let this dumb tranny clown post pics and commentary of her? id be putting my foot down so hard the earth would crack if my fiances sister was intruding on my privacy that way.

    • Because how could you pass up the opportunity to show that all her “fans” are drunk, crazy psychos?

      You could totally be all PA about it and send her the pic, saying, “we ran into one of your fans, do you know her?”. And then go tell your family (and hers) how she posted it without asking permission and that’s why you’re not inviting her to the wedding and hiring bouncers to keep her out.

      Or at least, that’s what I’d do. I’d do anything I could to get this psycho sis-in-law away from my wedding.

  12. How can anyone possibly think this place is boring? We said we wanted this bitch to get hitched and…TA-FUCKING-DAH…she’s got a goddamned boyfriend THE VERY NEXT DAY!!! (or thereabouts, I’m too lazy to look.)

    Invest every spare nickel in popcorn and high-definition monitors, people!!

    • That’s why her blogging about it is pissing me the fuck off. SHUT UP, DONKEY. Get the ring and bring on the uber-insanity.

      • The FB guy and long-lost James with 11 months of sobriety couldn’t be the same person, could they? I know she’s always been weird about pretending she doesn’t drink, but she seems to be moving into Psycho-Town with this latest business about no wine at Megs and making an imaginary toast with a water glass, etc.

      • She could always sponsor a human trafficking company and get a free Chinese Mail Order Groom. Like Jon Gosslin, only with a less powerful dick.

        I’m pretty sure mail order spouses were at least 50% of why the internet was invented. I got a mail order bride for everyone on my Christmas list last year. Plus imagine how tech savvy that shit would be.

      • Squirrel, I think James and fb guy are the same person. He was stupid enough to date her once, so why not a second time? Code name TK = The Kiwi???

  13. Julia needs to redact herself from the Internet for good. She is getting really fucking tedious with the insanity.

  14. I’m pretty sure it’s just a public ploy to make the many men who’ve dumped her jealous. There’s no boyfriend.

  15. Can I just say, there is nothing as awesome as coming home slightly tipsy from a night out with friends and seeing 104 comments on RBNS? You guys are so funny!

    I’ll miss sponsored scrapbooks 🙁

    Thank god Julsey found a boyfriend in red head stage that means she’s obligated to stay red until the breakup.

  16. Has anyone else noticed that “Comedy Writer” has been awfully quiet on Twitter lately. He may add all the celebrities he can think of because he is a starfucker (and really, anyone who dates JA is a DESPERATE starfucker) but apparently he can’t handle the attention of a few RBNS readers! Sad 🙁 How will he live-tweet his wedding with @juliaallison!?

  17. She “found” a boyfriend. Men are trying their damnedest to hide from her, but she “found” one anyway. That squirrelly little needle in the haystack won’t get away from her chubby sausage-fingered clutches this time!!

  18. “Loved spending the evening with @Meghan … I’m so, so lucky to have her in my life. She’s one of my soulmates. about 10 hours ago from TwitterFon ”

    SO SO BLESSED! SO SO LUCKY! SO HAPPY! 😀 😀 😀 😀 JULY 18th FINALLY CAME!

    • And we all know what that means!

      SO SO BLESSED = SO SO DEPRESSED

      The little bunny lost her reality show and her NY closet. Time to wrangle a man into marriage in two months before she has to slink home to momsers and dadsers!

      • I’m lost on what good that would do. Even if she found a guy, how would that help? What is she just going to move in with a guy after two months of brayting? What guy would allow that?

        Especially after a cursory google, finding out that she’s basically just looking for a place to crash. He better take full advantage of the hidden webcam/degrading sex scenarios he can pull off on her if she is that desperate for a place to live.

  19. An off topic question. When I google Julia Allison, this site does not come up, at least in the first 5 or 6 pages. What’s the deal? I kind of don’t understand it, since this site mentions her name as much, if not more than her own.

    • We need to beef up the meta content here ASAP. Let’s move this sucker up the organic search results food chain!

    • Google defaults to results from “any time.” If you choose “recent results” from the Show Options drop-down menu (on the left, in the blue bar that shows how many results were returned), RBNS is on the first page. If you choose “past 24 hours” or “past week” we’re at number 3 on the first page, whee!

    • I’m no tech-grrl like Meghan, but I believe Google has a preference for keywords when they’re found in the URL of the results. Putting “Julia Allison” in the title of the posts, which I notice is usually done here, does help.

  20. “I LOVE BEING SINGLE I LOVE IT I CANNOT HANDLE A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW I AM FOCUSING ON MY LOVE FOR MYSELF SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE –OWAI Hello, person with penis. Oh my, you’re paying attention to me! It may be love! Let me Twitter that, hold on… Oh, btw, do you have a laptop or iPhone on you now? You do? Good, let me just… *crash* Erm, um… OOPS? That’s okay, the internet is overrated anyway! Nothing to see there! Now will you ask me to be your girlfriend already? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE? Yes, I will shut up if you say yes. SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! I’m so validated!”

    • I know we only had one date but since we’ve been FB messaging for three years, I wanted to ask, would you come to Brother Britt’s wedding with me? You can meet Momsers and Dadsers!!! OMG!!!! But what are you going to wear? Send me pics of your top 5 outfits and I will pick the one that matches best with my dress, also get me a corsage that has pink in it! Also can you buy me a first class ticket to LA to see you soon? Can you rent me a car too? KTHX!!!! This is so great! Wait, what do you think of my hair??? It makes me look sexy and devious? Can I twitter that? PLEASE LET ME TWITTER THAT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I FEEL SO BLESSED@!!!!!!!

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