Soooooooo. . . Julia Allison is at a sponsored “think tank” that’s all about shifting paradigms, changing the world, drinking rum and getting sand in your ass (all at the same time!)
It’s like Davos for the tech media elite, so naturally, like Davos, and the inauguration, and CES, and the six word memoirs, and the essay on first arriving to New York, and the letter to her younger self, and her disclosures about sponsors, and much, much, much, much more, we are hearing absolutely nothing of substance about it. (She taking pictures of CLOUDS, people. That’s about as interesting as watching her face puff up and her thighs expand.)
So until the crane lifts her out of her hotel room bathtub, we are gonna have to turn our attentions elsewhere — to wit, Paul Carr.
He’s at the blowhard wankfest too! And it’s so obvious he wants to twittle Julia Allison’s tweeter, but that’s beside the point. He was fired from the Guardian, and now he’s writing for Tech Crunch.
He wrote his first article, which is basically a wordy summary of his asshattery. Of note is this choice bit:
“Rule Three: Anonymous comments. If I had my way there would be no absolutely no anonymous comments, not just on TechCrunch but the whole of Internet. They are the last refuge of a child molester. In fact, I would rather encourage my only child to trick-or-treat his way down the sex offenders register than to spend one moment in the company of someone who would leave an anonymous comment on a blog. Man up or fuck off.”
No, you fuck off, Carr! Anyhoo, the best part of his article are the comments. It’s like RBNS, but they’re making fun of a dude!
From “Paul Carr’s Mom”
“Dear myopic, sexless viewers:
Please be nice to my nitwit son Paul. I dressed him up as a girl when he was young, he can’t throw a baseball, and he stutters like a stroke victim.
Mind you: he is an annoying twit, full of himself, and currently lives in my fruit cellar. And for those reasons, he is, how do you kids say it:
Good Luck, Paulie. Remember to refill your inhaler and try not to pass out the first time you see boobies.
All my love:
“Somewhat interesting. Very wordy. The rules point to you possibly being a pussy, will hold off on that judgement. Sarah Lacey is boring in the extreem, if she was so good your defense would not be needed. Comparisons to valleywag are intentionally rediculous, surprised at your need to hinge your superior abilities on that one. This means your either dense, self obsessed, probably both. If you continue to mention your book, it will lose any attractiveness it might currently hold. And, as for the drinking, and the careless persona, it’s already been done and over done, Hunter S. Thompson you are not, definately. Nice try though.”
From “Clever Commenting Name”
“This is one of those articles that essentially turn out to be glorified forum responses from a troll attempting to troll other trolls.
Further proof that trolling overall is becoming quite the lost art.”
Anyway there is so much more, so have at it. Julia’s on west coast time, so it might be a while before she wakes up.