Julia: The Return of "Ineffable"

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Off to brunch with the ineffable Caroline McCarthy (@Caro) at Maison on 57th Street. I. AM. STARVING. Eggs & lox, get thee to my stomach.

“Incomparable” and “ridiculously talented” can’t be far behind.

82 COMMENTS

  1. The lox is supposed to impress Blind Date #2, the Jewish writer. She is so fucking transparent.

    • Jesus with that hair she should be speaking in a Russian accent and flirting with Tony Stark.

      • While I hate to give the girl pageviews, I scrolled through her ME-ME blog and it’s all “oy” this and “mazel tov” that. She cracks me up.
        And is it just me, or did anyone else think she went a little piggy at the Armani store. Six pairs of jeans? A leather coat? A date-night tank and who knows what else. Is there no budget restriction? The poor staff. I can just imagine her waltzing in there telling them she has carte blanche because she is on “assignment”.

      • Hee hee!!

        She’s going to ruin this before it even gets off the ground, because she will go into full-on chameleon mode.

  2. God how can she not see how awful she looks here? She looks like Ronald McDonald’s mother. Those eyebrows are just atrocious.

    • Wait. Hold up. You just nailed it. Ronald McDonald’s Mother. THOSE BROWS! I beg someone to do a photoshop of this..

  3. Whenever I want to impress a Jewish man I tell him that my favorite meal is a bacon cheeseburger, with a milkshake, and ice cream for desert

  4. She looks HIDEOUS.

    If looking at these screen shots doesn’t send her RUNNING to the hair salon to go back to brunette? Then she is definitely smoking crack.

  5. Did she even bother to see Harry Potter before spouting off some ill informed nonsense about it? Jesus, STFU Julia. She’s creepier looking than Professor Umbridge!

    • Why, why, WHY does she suck so bad?? It’s like she’s been living under a rock (or institutionalized in pink padded cell…oh wait) to not know the first thing about Harry Potter. Even my mom knows the basic premise of Harry Potter, yet she can’t string together one coherent thought about it? UGH. Is she really THAT stupid and clueless about anything relevant???

  6. Jesus, those eyebrows. She reminds me of the crazy old lady who used to shop at the grocery stored where I worked. Except that old lady was cuter than Julia. And that’s not saying much since she smelled like wet cat food and Pledge.

    • Also, I thought of another 6 word memoir (yes, this is what I’ve been doing in my free time, I think I need an intervention):
      Incomparably, undeniably most obnoxious person ever.

  7. Did anyone else see today’s NYT Sunday Magazine with William Safire calling out journalists in general for using “the” before a person’s name?

    He quotes a reader: “Adding the the seems to me a kind of flattery, an attempt to enhance the person’s standing, or possibly to tart up the prose itself.”

    Seems to me Julia does all three of those simultaneously when she pulls a “the . . . Caroline McCArthy” and that’s why we find it so loathesome.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/19/magazine/19FOB-OnLanguage-t.html?_r=1&ref=magazine

  8. Holy shit that hair. Holy mothereffing shit.

    No wonder she just Tweeted this:

    “Just spent the afternoon at a spiritual workshop. Ask and ye shall receive.”

    Honey, did Jesus tell you to do something about that Madame Ronald McDonald hairstyle and matching brows that you’re sporting?

    • I hope the other workshop participants were wearing sunglasses because my eyes feel violated by that photo. Like acid, it burns, it burns!
      Also can you imagine the violent levels of aggravation JA would provoke in a “spiritual” workshop? I would be praying to Jeebus for divine intervention.

      • You mean all this time she hasn’t asked for a job, a boyfriend, a decent-sized apartment, international fame, the world’s respect and eternal beauty? What’s she waiting for???!!!!

  9. I think she busts out the same 10 cent vocab words to ensure RBNS coverage. Srsly. She obviously reads here and has seen herself get called out over mis/using the same meaningless adjectives time and again. I think she is having some kind of private joke with herself by continuing to use them, knowing as soon as she does RBNS readers will jump to take note. What a sick and twisted mind she has… 🙂

    • What kind of whack-job goes the extra mile to ensure that people hate her guts? She must hate Julia Allison® more than we do.

      • A desperate attention whore who believes that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. Except that she hates it.

      • as long as people are paying attention (giving her site hits, thinking about her or, best of all, talking about her) she couldn’t seem to care less if they love her or hate her.

    • notkayla: I completely agree.

      Honestly, who else gives a flying fuck about this idiot besides us? If she truly is the textbook case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder that we all think she is, then ANY attention is good attention.

      And now that Gawker is done with her, and there is no more TONY or Star? Who’s left? Us.

      Jankles knows that every time she wears The Shoes, uses one of her annoying adjectives, blabs about Her Parents Condo, or does any of the many other things that drives us bonkers, that it will be discussed here. No matter that our comments are critical and negative. She’s just happy that we keep talking.

      I wonder what she would do if we went silent?

      • Dr. Gary, interesting idea. Not silent maybe, but just talk about other things. The moon landing anniversary, Iran, Michael Jackson, Obama, governors cheating on their wives, etc

  10. oh, so now she’s a “host?” not a “hostess?”
    or a “founder” looking for FU money?
    TMI Hostess

  11. Houston’s – yes, I know it’s technically a “chain” – but I don’t care, it’s still one of my favorite places to eat in Manhattan (and has been for years).

    Little miss super defensive never reads here ever ever ever strikes again– the line above was just posted to her blog.

    • All of Manhattan & the boroughs at her doorstep–and Little Miss Muffett still prefers burb fave Houston’s. Pathetico.

      • I’m wondering if all of this New York love – the walk in Central Park, the free opera, Moma, Houston’s – is an indication that the parents are close to yanking Julia back home to Chicago?

        It’s like she is suddenly binge-ing on all things NY because she knows it’s about to be taken away.

        Pure conjecture here, but perhaps that’s also why Julia keeps mentioning lots of meetings – “See, I have to stay in NY, so important for my career!” – and church-going/spirituality – “I’m changing my ways, Momsers! Please don’t make me come home.”.

        She’s acting out of character, which usually means something is afoot. Possibly.

  12. No offense to religious people, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she is exploring her spiritual side after burning every single bridge. At this point, I think she does fit in with the lepers and the tax collectors.

  13. Seriously, though, if you’d seen pictures of her two years ago, and someone looked into the future and said: “Look at Ronald McDonald’s mother here. That’s Julia Allison in 2009” would you EVER have believed it?

    It’s like a nightmare. Her appearance is a garish horror show. She was a very pretty girl. It’s still there, but she’s doing everything possible to make herself look like a trashy, low-rent Hooters waitress. I don’t understand.

    • It was part of her attempt to morph herself into an edgy hipster who could hang with Jordache and her femmy husband. She is a blank slate with no soul or independent thoughts, just some costumes and war paint to play dress up.

      • That’s why I think, if Blind Date #2 was real and not a figment of her imagination, she’ll blow it by trying to morph into The Perfect Jewess, when what he really wants is a Shiksa Goddess.

    • Seriously. That RBNS banner picture of her at her birthday party was amusingly bad just a month or two ago. Comparing that photo to todays screenshot is shocking. I think she’s pretty in the way a large percentage of urban 20 somethings are (aka not as beautiful and unique as she thinks she is) but she’s losing it so quickly. The hair, the brows, the weight gain, the weird lips from too many injections, the heavy makeup, the terrible clothing,ugh I just want to give her a make over so so so bad.

  14. I rarely criticize Julia Allison’s looks, except when I do, but if she’s gonna go after the Heeb’s, she really needs to stop looking like such a pig.

  15. I’m thinking it’s part of her morph-from-Carrie-to-Charlotte shit. Refresh my memory, but what did Charlotte wind up happily married to in the end?

  16. Did creepy bring her intern to msnbc to take these shots off a monitor?

    She must make quite the impression when she shows up for some dopey gift gig with a personal assistant/personal photog. The crews must laugh behind her back.

    • Imagine what the makeup artist/hair people were thinking. They probably worried they would burst into flames just being so close to her fake hair.

  17. Wonder if the “spiritual workshop” was Overeaters Anonymous or Food Addicts in Recovery. If so, good for her.

    But how awesome would it be if she subjected herself to a Scientology audit?

  18. she’s desperate/sad in that radio interview. keeps calling herself an artist/performance artist (haaaaaaaaaah) and ragging on some other radio guys who obviously humiliated her (must’ve for her to keep bringing up their “personal flaw”).

    newsflash julia all the guys you’ve ‘dated’ have had smaller asses than you

    love the caller that called her out on the type of guy she likes to date, those that “put her on a pedestal”.. she had NO valid response to this. she hasn’t been sent flowers in a bazillion years.. is that confirmation that she bought HERSELF flowers that one time?

    another calling out a guy (daniel radcliffe) for being gay. a) he wouldn’t. ever. b) he’s got a girlfriend. funny stuff.

    she has more of a stick up her ass now than gtown, where in her old blog she claimed to have been complimented on her bedroom prowess.

    unbelievable that she’s talking so much about her feelings for this guy (instead of you know, telling him) on a live radio show. kinda like her agenda for trying to make HH jealous, disparaging tv networks to make up for her terrible performances. mental foreplay? sex twice a week, so she isn’t following her own “rules”. oh geez.

    also, why does she keep alternating trying to put her image up as a tough, “guys girl” with squealing like a prepubescent twilight fan?

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