Kissy-Face Idiocy


With the ineffable Jason Back during the ginger disaster.

I admire our commenters. I expected all of you to hate her hair just on principle, but some of you like it and didn’t hesitate to say so. Incomparable!

I think it looks cheap and trashy and ages her another 10 years, but maybe I wouldn’t feel that way if she wasn’t making THAT STUPID FUCKING FACE again. Does she think that looks good? Why can’t she just smile in a natural, friendly manner? Then maybe her hair would look awesome too. Red hair + kissy face = dried-up old fluffer on porno shoot who is no longer hot enough to get any scenes.


  1. I like the style and fact that her hair actually looks like hair again, but the color doesn’t look natural on her. It just screams, “I dyed my hair red!”

    Which, I guess, is the point.

  2. Agree that this ages her horribly. She looks like Phoebe Price. Or the newest cast member of “Real Housewives of Myrtle Beach.”

    The eyebrows, too? Oy.

  3. “Red hair + kissy face = dried-up old fluffer on porno shoot who is no longer hot enough to get any scenes.”

    (snorting & slapping knee repeatedly)

  4. The actual hair looks quite nice. The hair on Julia is another matter. I am reserving my judgment until I see it its natural environment i.e. lots o pink, bobby pins, curling iron, poor home haircare routine etc.

  5. I think, for me, it’s the eyebrows. No one has eyebrows that color. i’m guessing jA wanted this done because a good colorist would probably recommend staying more in the browns but lightening. The cut and blow out is fantastic.

  6. The way she sucks in her cheeks while doing the pucker-up…interesting. I may have underestimated her. From now on, I’m calling her “Fluffy”.

  7. Cannot… see … past …. chubby-fingered… man …. hands … to… make … proper judgement…

  8. HA! The hair itself is pretty-ish in a well executed color way, although as it fades it will turn sexy orange so I hope she scheduled a follow up in a few weeks.

    It looks straight up bad on her though. Incredibly unnatural and it almost matches her skin. It’s also much too soft a color and really fills out her face and softens her features (the LAST thing little miss red velvet cupcake needs).

    Very few non natural red heads can pull off such an all over red and this fool is not one of the few.

  9. I would like to state that redheads dyeing their hair dark also have heinous root and colour-washing-out problems.

    Also, her hair still looks wicked damaged.

    • Agreed. I’m a blonde who went dark for a year and it looked rather tragic between appointments. After a certain age don’t you kind of give up on the crazy colors? All women I know over 25 (max) stick within a few shades from there roots and know what works. She’s such a confused teenager doing anything for a second glance.

      • So true. We hire a lot of interns, and I have a tendency for getting friendly with them. They’re always saying that they want to try this outrageous color or that (it’s like a sickness among 19-20 year-olds) … and I always advise: Do it now. Our boss won’t care, but your next one probably will. This is pretty much your last opportunity in life to try something truly different with your hair. Apparently, Julia never interned for a kindly old gramma like me.

  10. Hue Man is good – highlight shading around the face makes it look as natural as possible considering the shade vs. her coloring.

    All hair looks hella healthy after a color and professional blow out, it’s the glazing. But it’s an illusion, does a number on the cuticle and needs tender loving care and loads of deep conditioning to maintain.
    Not gonna happen.

  11. Steps 1 – 5 of hair color and blow out? really?


    I am getting my hair colored next week. Should I blog it? Will that get my blog sold for millions or my own column on the Daily Beast?

    What a freaking dumb ass.

  12. I think the rash decision to implement Project Red can be attributed to the upcoming family wedding where she will be, once again, without a significant plus one.

  13. I think she looks good.

    the eyebrows are a bit light, they couldve stayed darker. I have naturally auburn hair and my eyebrows are naturally dark brown.

    but other wise, it came out good.

    and as for why blog about every step? duh, shes a lifecaster, shes supposed to blog it all. shes also supposed to be blogging when she goes shopping, going to the movies, books she reads….etc

    • Oh, yeah, she really puts it all out there…in the most cryptic, secretive, whitewashed, cherry-picked, half-assed way possible.

      • Seriously. She blogged more about a single trip to the hair salon than she did about her entire paycation to Sea World. We’re not seeing her life at all. Any time she mentions something that might actually be of interest, she provides no details, context, or follow-up. That’s why nobody can relate to her on a human level any more.

    • Reading books? Going to movies?

      Her lifecast is content-free. It’s a picture scrapbook of Julia pretending to be a star. It’s the doll’s house of a very peculiar 28 year old.

  14. She is going to a friend’s wedding where she will now be the center of attention. Or she hopes. She did this for attention which makes her sad. But doing so before a friend’s wedding makes her a calculating evil see you next Tuesday who cares not about anyone or anything ‘cept herself. She needs to be hospitalized.

    • Also, would anyone care to describe that outfit she is wearing? She looks like either a MC Hammer backup dancer or a genie. I’m no fashion maven, but I’m pretty sure guachos went out of style.

      • My first thought was slutty genie.
        Why is she interviewing professional athletes? Hello? Whatever happened to requiring a certain minimal competence or is she an expert on sports since the Jay Butler incident?

    • The pic is already gone.

      Wow, a whole 6 or 7 seven hours and her hair looks like shit. She looks like she aged 10 years overnight. Now _that’s_ living differently fer sure.

      For somebody whose entire world revolves around how she looks…yer doin’ it wrong.

      Does anyone recognize the logo on her microphone? It’s not TMI. She doesn’t mention the event, but it’s the “Showdown in Chinatown” charity soccer match at Roosevelt Pk.

      • See, if she were actually “lifecasting,” we’d already know all about where she went, who she interviewed, what she was wearing, etc. That’s why the whole concept is a friggin’ joke.

    • Ergh, the hair color looks very unnatural in that shot, particularly at the hairline. And no to the headband. That dude looks transfixed by her hair – is it real, is it a wig, is she an anime character?

    • So that took what? Only a couple of hours for Jankles to COMPLETELY ruin that sweet blow-out?

      Why the FUCK are you wearing a goddamned headband, you stupid idjit! You’re a redhead now. With a great haircut. Just ‘own’ it and Let It Fucking Unfold.

      That means: NO goddamned headbands. NO goddamned bobby pins. Wear your hair down, like a friggin’ grown up.

      • I know, right?! Why the headband???
        Now it really looks as if Fran Drescher was channeling Peggy Bundy and I refuse to accept Jackles resembling two highly admired figures in my world (yes, I loved the Nanny, still do).

        Also, trouble in paradise, Dr. Gary? 🙂

      • Yeah…trouble in paradise is right.

        How could a nice midwestern dentist like myself compete with an Ivy League Harley-riding Hottie? Sigh.

        How ’bout we get a few girls to come over and cheer Dr. Gary up? Partypants? You bring the chilled Franzia and I’ll fire up the ol’ hot tub.

    • is that real? why would she put that fucking headband on when she just had a professional blowout?? she looks completely heinous. and her blush is WAY too pink for her hair.

      • I feel bad for the hairdresser. He was so supportive and enthusiastic, talked her up, then she destroys his work within an hour. And not an improvement!

    • Why is she just now going through puberty??? Julia, you’re pushing 30. That’s a tad old to be rockin the Pillarbox Red manic panic, sweetums.

  15. i think it looks worse in the interviewing pictures from later. anything looks good in the salon. but in the real world pictures, it looks unflattering and super, super unnatural. I dyed my hair the same color when I was 16, and even at that time thought it looked fake, and resolved not to do it again.

  16. The blowout was the best thing about the new ‘do. Why did she immediately go out and ruin it?

  17. An old russian hooker. I actually preferred it when it was slicked back and I thought it was cut short. That looked young. Now she’s my aunt mauve.

    In a week she will be balding and patchy, and the photoshop will come out (black and white or super-saturated photos will become classy for her). No wonder she had the photo shoot done before project red, she will heavily rely on those photos.

  18. Yikes the hairline and sideburns in the interview pics! Is that to be expected when dyeing? Will it fade?
    Her only option is to blow dry and wear her hair down, the headband is a disaster!

  19. Ouf. The red is a pretty shade – but as others said, simply does not flatter her olive skin tone -and the eyebrows are a very bad mistake. Poor girl…I wish she had stayed with the brown color and gotten a smart, sharp, mid- shoulder length cut to get rid of the damaged hair and accentuate her bone structure. That would have been way sexier, modern, professional, and grown up. I wish I could give her a makeover!

    • Perfect! You’re exactly right. That would’ve been a wonderful change for her. But that would not have made the whole world stop looking at Iran and look at Julia.

      She should change her name to the fall guy for all the damn stunts she pulls.

      • Yeah it’s annoying. No matter what her weight and in spite of her very obvious nose job, she’s an attractive woman – but every fashion choice she makes is just so…wrongheaded. She lives in the bizarro world where Baby Jane frumpy is cute and grating is charming. She’s a one woman 1990’s midwestern suburb in the middle of Manhattan.

      • Yes. Why in all these years have we not seen a nice, smart cut? It’s always been the fucking bobby pins and head bands and ringlets. She is certifiable.
        We have rarely even seen her just pull it all back into a ponytail!!! What a nutbar.

  20. Hey, remember Milo, from the video with Loren Feldman and Paul Carr a few weeks ago? Are these asshats for real?

    yiannopoulos @1938media If you’re gay and ugly you should give up and just go to a monastery or something.
    4 minutes ago

    yiannopoulos @1938media Gays should at least be pretty. God owes them that much.
    7 minutes ago

    1938media @PerezHilton looks like a wild boar, he has that disgusting pig nose. He is is just so ugly, Ugly and gay is a shitty combination.
    7 minutes ago

    • Can we stop talking about that nobody fameballing asshat Loren? Who gives a shit what some guy who runs a freakin’ failed blog-turned-message board does?

      I swear Loren is posting these comments himself. No one else cares about him. He is trying to stir up interest in himself. Looks like he learned something from that meeting with ol’Jules!

    • This is well and truly bizarre.

      for one thing, they WISH Perez Hilton gave a shit about them.

      and for another … what the fuck? that’s gotta be a try for attention.

  21. It is a good dye job and blow out, obviously. The hair stylist did a great job. However, it does age her a lot, and that isn’t really the fault of the hair stylist.

    Also, it looks WAY trashy. If it was any other girl it wouldn’t look that bad, but seriously, who dyes their hair red past the age of 17?

  22. It looks ok now, but it’s going to look SPECTACULARLY bad when it starts getting all brassy and her lazy ass will be too stupid to keep it up. And dying eyebrows is NEVER good. She’s going to have to do it herself, with bleach, and her eyebrows are already ridiculous, and now they will just look more so. I can’t wait for this to turn out bad.

  23. I like how the guy in the picture is doing the normal HUMAN thing and is looking into the camera and smiling, whereas JA does her usual crap.

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