Brother Britt: How Odd

54
156

My poor sister Tweeted last night that she was off to date 5.5 with the man we hope takes her off our hands …… errrr …. I mean the man she claims to be dating, someone she refers to as Harvard Harley and from whom she is trying desperately to extract a promise of exclusivity.

And yet her new best friend Jordan Tweeted this:

jordanberkow: went to n last night w/ @juliaallison and a couple of college buddies. small, expensive martinis, but good wine. now off to brunch w/ ali.

Oh dear. Could it be my poor sister is exaggerating/deceiving once again?

54 COMMENTS

  1. I was gonna ask this a couple of days ago. Is she really dating that much? She often tweets that she’s dating this and that guy. Is she on a dating service where she gets a different guy every day or something?

  2. Seems like she’s hanging out with him and his friends. Although, considering Jordan is a friend of both Julia and Harvard Harley, it would be awful embarrassing if Julia was publicly tweeting about dates that were really not dates.

    Still, I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s quite shameless and, perhaps, she tells Jordan and her other pals to just go along with her little sham because it’s “fun” and “shouldn’t be taken seriously.”

    • I wonder if Jordan has even seen the @juliaallison tweet about last night, considering she’s not following that account.

    • Two scenarios exist in this mess that I would truly, madly, deeply love, if they were in fact true:

      1. Jordan innocently ruined Julia’s truth massaging dating story, oblivious of the @juliaallison tweet and just genuinely excited about her new toy. Julia’s fuming, but can’t say anything because the Jordan must be wooed and fawned on.

      OR and even better:

      2. Jordan deliberately set the record straight, thus undermining Julia’s little mindgame. She used the @juliaallison to make sure Julia sees it (they do see it if their proper name is used, right? I don’t twitter) and thus is directly upgraded from friend to frenemy in my book. They grow up so fast…

  3. JA did a Time Out piece on Matchmakers earlier this year and NYC Matchmaker’s Ilana Eberson, Janis Spindel and Amy Laurent set her and Rambo up as “inventory.” (to MA’s credit she did not get involved) so they were culled for look see’s and meet-n-greet type dates. Of course, nothing panned out for either of them despite the heroic efforts of the Matchmakers. However, who can forget Rambo’s exaggerated eye roll on TMI when Jankles faux declared she was dating 13 guys. Bitch is disingenuous and unlikable.
    Have a great day! XO

  4. It finally makes sense! 0.5 of a date is when you just go meet up with a guy and his friends, and maybe he kinda flirts with you if you’re the one he’d like to fuck the most! And he says things like “It’s good to see you again” and “we should get together sometime”, and makes eye contact with you that lingers for a few seconds too long while saying these things.

    Extrapolating:
    0.4 of a date is when a guy asks you to come over for a football party, and you get to sit next to him on the couch (and he high fives you first during key plays)
    0.3 of a date is when you wake up at a guys house, and he doesn’t exactly kick you out, but he doesn’t ask you to stay either
    0.2 of a date is when you are in the same party as a guy you like, and he does a headnod as you walk by him on the way to the bathroom
    0.1 of a date is riding on the subway, and some guy grabs your ass

  5. A simple possibility is that the dude is very social, likes to hang in groups, enjoys keeping an oddball like Julia around for entertainment, and she’s using him for access to his network of friends. Wonder what will happen that day when she’s expected to pick a tab at Nobu.

  6. Amazing how the same Twitter that JABa uses to promote her fantasy pink princess life is also being used by the brave Iranians who may be on the verge of a revolution.

    Of course, we won’t hear anything at all about that from our (not so) little political science grad and esteemed journalist.

    • You see, that is because Julia is Letting It Unfold…while the Iranians are Making It Happen.

      • Yea, but will the Iranians get “MIH” tattooed on their wrists? Come on people, get with it!

      • That remains to be seen. But if they do, it will most certainly need to wonked enough to look like NIN, leading most people to assume that they are just die-hard Nine Inch Nails fans.

  7. NomSociety….love it!!

    Yes, Julia is a Journalist, Political Science Grad from Georgetown, and New Media Expert. But we won’t hear a word about Iran and Twitter. Or maybe we will, after she reads these comments. But it will be some trite, derivative little one-liner. God forbid she should actually care about important things happening in the world, and have an intelligent thing to say about them.

    • I’d say at most it would be that she would turn her icon green (which….don’t even get me started on that…) but that might obscure her face and remind her of her hair “down there”. Iran is so mean! They should have chose pink as their National Color of Revolt! What a bunch of haters.

    • Seriously, I hope she sticks to her so far good decision to stay quiet about this. This is not like taking pictures at the piano bar in Davos. People are dying; killed by their own state and the last thing I personally need in this connection is Little Miss Purty musing how pink would have been a much better choice of colour for the movement and how green is poison for people’s looks or some hypocritically posted Bible or other inspirational quote.

      • Oh, I see, the pink thought was already shared while I was still typing away like a turtle. Oh, well…

      • I swear I will be proud of her if she refrains from referring to the Secret in regards to this crisis. I mean, everyone knows that the Iranians just didn’t VISUALIZE DEMOCRACY hard enough.

      • I totally agree. I’ve been heavily following and tweeting/blogging/retweeting/etc the Green Revolution and then I take periodic breaks to clear my head from all of that violence — for example, by reading this and other fluff sites.

        If she posted some stupid thumb up her own ass one liner about a friggen revolution, I just couldn’t bear it, man. UGH.

    • Excuse me, but are the Iranian protesters represented by ICM? I think not. And don’t even get me started on the body hair thing, why can’t they make lasers over there instead of bombs? They need them more, like way more. My friend Kevin Smith (sorry for upstaging you at Carnegie, Kev!) said nothing about them. I mean, please. And I’ll wear a tutu whenever I want, fuck you very much.

  8. Doesn’t she already have, oh, I don’t know, eleventy gazillion pictures of herself already? With at least half of those wearing a borrowed gown or three hundred?
    Another photoshoot? More gowns? Why? Why oh why?
    And who is putting up the money/time for this crap? She recycles a picture of sand for chrissake to “suggest” she was on a tropical holiday (cough … fat farm … cough). Can’t she recycle one of her ninety batrillion “gown” shots?
    Way to manufacture a “job” for yourself JABa.
    “Tomorrow is HUGE, good thing I don’t have to wake up until noon or so! I have to try on a dress! Then a few days later I have to pose for a picture in that dress. THEN I have to post the picture to my blog. EXHAUSTING!!””

    • Please, god, let there be a couple of shots of her leaping in the air with balloons or an umbrella while unhinging her jaw. People in my office still snicker about that Love statue fauxto shoot she did for her bicurious birthday crap. I nearly laughed myself into a coma the first time I saw that clumsy dope in her Barbie tutu, leaping around like a complete loon. If only there were video!!!

    • I bet it’s for her TONY farewell ‘essay’…gotta have a good pic to go with it! Way to spend the money, TONY.

  9. Dear Jacy,

    I move that we add a new word to the RBNS lexicon: exaggerbate – to massage the truth of one’s circumstances until climax is achieved. As in: Julia Allison is at home tonight, exaggerbating to thoughts of her 5.5 group hang-out sessions with Harvard Harley while wearing one of the gowns she borrowed for Monday’s fauxto shoot.

    Respectfully,

    KibbyKat

    • Kibbycat: That is a most excellent idea, and one I think should be submitted to Urban Dictionary, complete with the definition you provided.

  10. “Julia will be on MSNBC tomorrow around 8:40pm talking about Jon and Kate plus 8. about 1 hour ago from web in reply to Twitwriter”

    • She back to the old beat! Desperate for some cash following the family intervention (3 day vacation) she’s suddenly going on bray for pay and doing celebrity reporting which, by her own admission, she is unqualified to do because she knows nothing about popular culture.

      Fail.com!

    • Awwww. She found a gig to pay the bills. And it’s so perfect for her! Good luck with the career, Jassholia!

    • Who better to comment on marriage, children, and the strain that being on a reality show can have on a relationship…just about anybody, actually. And that’s what will make this sooooooo entertaining. I’m giggling already!!

      This is gonna be good, people, so lay in a supply of popcorn while there’s still time.

    • Ughhhhh this is what sends me in to a complete rage about her. She whines when anyone says anything about her, yet thinks it’s ok to go on national tv and speculate about people she doesn’t know. During their divorce. With children involved. So low. I hope she’s proud of herself.

    • Whatever gets you the attention of someone at the BBC who might be able to get you past the gatekeepers in the future. He probably thinks this is his “how it all began”-moment he can talk about when interviewed about his achievements for journalism and the BBC in thirty years. Dram on, sucker.
      You couldn’t even properly verify information picked up here and elsewhere on the internet before putting it in your shitty little piece on Julia’s massive jump in facebook friends. Some of the good people here actually pointed out your mistakes in order not to compromise you or your article, yes, how stupid of us. You jumped to conclusions at least twice (before and after meeting the pink one) and still haven’t tried to figure out what this person is really about. In conclusion, you have neither the inquisitive mind, the vigilance, let alone writing skills to be worse even considering putting you into a trainee programme to become a journalist. Sorry, this guy has been irritating me since he first appeared on my radar.

  11. And there’s also this … JA at a bachelorette party last night … fun date.

    cameronhardesty: @juliaallison in east village for a bachelorette party, your expertise has been requested. seriously.

  12. Somebody who seems to know Mary quite well sounds awfully pissed at our Pink Princess:

    Shame on you 20 minutes ago from txt
    @juliaallison. Are you aware of what’s going in with women in iran? Are you a political scientist? Did you go to georgetown? I have … 21 minutes ago from txt
    you to comment but its too late. Take the dinner you owe me and donate it to Neda’s memory who died on the street in tehran. Shame on you 21 minutes ago from txt

    Julia seems to make friends wherever she goes.

    • Interesting. Bob Baer is the guy in New Canaan who put Mary up. I wonder what prompted that outburst?

      • Which makes this even more sick:

        “RT @yiannopoulos “You shouldn’t judge or bad-mouth people you’ve never met.” You’re making me tear up! Truer words have never been tweeted.9 minutes ago from web ”

        This is from a chick who has burned one bridge after another offline, in the flesh, face-to-face. She is the quintessential loser.

      • “You shouldn’t judge or bad-mouth people you’ve never met.”

        Is he kidding with that shit? What an infantile point of view. I’ve never met Adolf Hitler, Ted Bundy, or Saddam Hussein. Still, I feel there’s sufficient evidence upon which to judge and criticize their behavior.

  13. And immediately Tweleted!

    bobbaer Shame on you
    Sun, 21 Jun 2009 03:51:24

    bobbaer @juliaallison. Are you aware of what’s going in with women in iran? Are you a political scientist? Did you go to georgetown? I have …
    Sun, 21 Jun 2009 03:50:10

    bobbaer you to comment but its too late. Take the dinner you owe me and donate it to Neda’s memory who died on the street in tehran. Shame on you
    Sun, 21 Jun 2009 03:50:10 +0000

  14. What’s telling is he deleted his Tweet just before she started Tweeting tonight. So obviously she saw them, sent him a few 🙁 🙁 e-mails or direct messages, and he nuked them.

    Only positive reactions, people!!! Only love and adoration!

    • Even though you’ve let yourself go? And you’ve passed your expiration date? And once you’re married and you’ve snagged him, you don’t have sex anymore??

    • I am not sure which is harder to believe, that she would shill without compensation, or that someone would pay her

  15. See, here’s the funny part; Julia Allison probably thinks we’re soooo jealous of her just because we take some time to discuss her here. Which is all the funnier, of course; yes, anyone who dares talk smack about anyone must be officially JEALOUS of that person. HAHAH!!!
    And that douche Loren whatever-his-name-is has some nerve referring to us all as a bunch of little bitches. Dumbass has no idea who we are, how many of us are actually MALE, and where we actually work. Which is why I love dipping in here to anonymously comment so much; great waste of brainspace and energy!!

    And yet, as I take a moment to pop in here while sunning myself by my lovely pool, sipping a pinot and giggling over the fact that her entire pretty little pink shoebox is the size of half my bedroom, I can’t help but snicker at her sense of complete delusion.
    That’s what is inherently so funny about JA though: she has no idea how far removed she truly is from the real world and real problems that real people her age face. She really is like a 14-year-old lost in a 30-year-old body and mentality, honestly. At least judging from her pathetic bedroom area alone. Yikes.

Comments are closed.