GOOD MORNING BUNNIES!!! I am still awake after an amazing THIRD night out in a row with my AMAZING new friend JORDANNNNN!!!!! We have gone out to eat and gone clubbing and maybe done some other stuff that I promise is not the reason I am staying up until 7 a.m. and so thoroughly and completely latched onto another person. (wink)
Bunnies, I learned a new word this morning while I was bouncing off the walls unable to sleep. The word is EFFULGENCE and totally replaces ineffable. It means “the state of being bright” and totally describes me perfectly. I am bright. I am a light. I am a rainbow that tastes like a Skittle and all the world is bright and light and I am full of music and wonderful sparkles. That last trip to the bathroom stall was perhaps a bit much, no?
ANYWHOO!!!!! Look at this picture of Jordan and I being gals about town:
Are we not the cutest ever???? One of her friends – A WRITER FOR MICHAEL CERA!!!!! – accidentally mistook me for Jordan’s step mother from Connecticut, but I was like, you silly goose, do step mothers wear incredibly sexy pleather ankle strap shoes like THESE??? (I then stuck my awesome shoe on his shoulder, which I am sure the thought was really sexy. Shhh, don’t tell Harvard Harley!!!)
Speaking of him, I went on date 5.24 last week and he has not returned any of my emails, texts, facebook wall posts, notes, mail, or IMs since then. I am really confused, bunnies. Jordan got engaged after six weeks. WHY CAN’T I????? BLERG. It sort of makes me hate her. But then we go to dinner and go out and then stuff happens and then I LOVE HER AGAIN!!! LOVE HER!!!! SOOOO MUCH!!! LOVE!!!!!
Well, bunnies, I really must be going now. I have so much to do today after I sleep off this candy hangover. Candy. Only candy. I have to dry clean my three favorite outfits and go shopping for a new white button up shirt. The buttons finally popped off of my old one and I need to scour the racks of H&M for a new one. Extra sheer is best, bunnies! I also have to spend a good portion of my day scrubbing, drying and re curling my little secret to beauty – clip in hair extensions. Going out to clubs makes them extra smokey and dull, bunnies! That will never do!! Then I have to have a very serious talk with my parents about how my AMEX bill miiiiight be a little outrageous this month, especially after the craaaaaaazy few nights I have been having lately. That cash advance was TOTALLY NECESSARY, MOMSERS!!!!!!
Anyway, bunnies, I hope that once, just once, you will find in your lifetime the kind of love that I have found with my new ineffable friend Jordan. We are both beacons of effulgence in the dark night, lighting the way of happiness for anyone who comes into contact with us. SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE FAIRY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!