Julia: A Weekend of Indiscreet, Crazy-Ass Tweeting

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There are few things in this  world that are constant, never-ending and reliably consistent, and Jackles’s madness is one of them. It would almost be comforting if it wasn’t so annoying and there weren’t so many victims.

This weekend’s collection of Tweets suggests so much it’s hard to keep it all straight but just for starters:

1. Insanity, naturally

2. Outrageous indiscretion

3. Attempts to make imaginary boyfriend jealous

4. Attempts to shame imaginary boyfriend into being her boyfriend

In chronological order, watch the madness unfold (my observations are in italics):

Upside? I have date 4.5 with Harvard Harley tonight!

Running an hour late for my date. Arghgg. WHY AM I IMCAPABLE OF ACCURATELY ESTIMATING TIME?!?

An route to date – decided to take West side highway to “save time.” Of course we’re stopped in traffic. #ShootMeNow

Met HH’s friends last night. Chugged 3/4 of a beer. Tried not to humiliate myself. Still sort of buzzed. 😉

HA! @supersetgreg – I was kidding 🙂 If I’m still at all buzzed, it’s from snuggling.

@cheeky_geeky – Well, in my defense, he did tell me to “show up whenever” (it was a BBQ). Big mistake. 😉

Friend of mine who had a girlfriend for the past 2.5 years (until 5 wks ago) just asked me to “hang.” Is that … a date? It feels weird.

He wants to do dinner. It’s definitely a date. Oh boy. (in reply to @Six0Seven‘s question)

Normally, I’d agree, @nmau, @AZRonster, @highdefdinardo – but other texts indicate high levels of flirtation which did not exist prior. eek!

I’ve just never thought about him that way,@TMcFeeley! He was off-limits! Guys w Girlfriends = Gay in my eyes. So, it’s a paradigm shift. (Oh God, not the “paradigm shift” again. And what a laugh! Guys with girlfriends are off-limits, but not guys with wives? Remember Fauxga-gate, her most recent example of chasing a married man?)

Best thing I learned from dating [redacted]: keep seeing other people until Guy demands Exclusivity. I didn’t do that. Big mistake. (Poor Redacted — he must truly rue the day)

@CCal – Yeah, it probably didn’t help that my method was yelling “What, so you mean you’re fine with me f–king other guys!?!” Oops?

Just ate dinner at Allen & Delancey – so ridiculously delicious – great atmosphere, too. Perfect date spot!

I can’t stop singing along to the cab tv’s ad “oh baby youuuu got what I need – but you say he’s just a friend, say he’s just a friend!” ha

106 COMMENTS

  1. DAMN!!! I’ve been a reader for some long but I felt the enormous need to say this now.
    I enjoy this freak show so much from the other side of the Atlantic. Despite having a wide variety of nutjobs here, yours are far far superior! I salute you! Long live the Queen Julia!

    • For ‘so’ long… no ‘the’ before Queen… I just had a Steak& kidney pie,
      the blood flow to my brain is limited.

  2. Hahahaha.

    She just went seriously into way overshare mode and it is, per usual, fucking hilarious madness.

    She is a total idiot moron. Enjoy spinsterhood Jackles!

    • Why is she gushing about her crushes with total strangers on the internet? She really doesn’t have any friends at all, does she? God, what a pathetic, game-playing, stalkerific loser.

      • I don’t think she does have any friends left. Karp scampered off and got a girlfriend. RandiZ probably can’t hang out with her while she tries to repair the publicity shit+fan of facebook. Caro and the GofG and Gawker crew have no interest in her since she’s not a media personality and she’s not a socialite.

        She’s alienated everyone she ever had contact with. She’s a pariah, and she earned it.

    • Her only hope is to get a guy under contract and act out a scripted relationship arc in front of the paparazzi, just like Speidi. I’m sure that would be just as satisfying for Jules as any real relationship. If it looks good in photos, then it must be true, right?

  3. Fitting that she doesn’t care one bit if the dude’s GF of 2.5 years reads her mad twits. She’s a total and complete cunt to other women.

  4. They gave out these “HOYA MOM” and “HOYA DAD” buttons at the reunion last weekend – so I just sent my parents a “Five Years Later, I’m still grateful you paid for my education” letter, with the buttons included.

    If you were lucky enough to have your parents pay for your schooling, thank them. Doesn’t matter if they paid it off ten years ago or the tuition bill is on their desk now – I’m sure they would appreciate any acknowledgement.

    And that’s all from this goody-two-shoes for today. :)”

    Oh I’m sure mom and dad are so proud of what you’ve done with that education. Julia, posting about what gifts you gave someone or what nice (transparent) deed you did is fucking GAUCHE. Christ you are so middle class that I’m surprised your brother’s name isn’t Beaver.

    • Also, wearing a tiara when you didn’t win prom queen makes you a grade a cunt. What’s next? Wearing wedding gowns to your friend’s wedding? From now on just wear a shirt that says “Please pay attention to me.”

      God I hate you today.

      • She also wore the tiara to her friend’s birthday party later that night Real appropriate! And let us not forget the time she got herself and Randi matching white bathing suits for Randi’s bridal shower. This girl cannot stand when the attention is not on her.

      • You know you can see her doing that shit. Can we please get Alec Baldwin in here as her dad to do a counselling session a la 30 Rock? Because she clearly has some whackadoodle daddy-never-looked-at-me-enough issues that need to be addressed.

      • Oh I think daddy did look at her, I think he spoiled her mad. Much to the chagrin of her mother.

        I was flabergasted when she got him to film the lip dub on the ski lift.

        I think the problem with julia is that nobody else in the world is willing to give her the attention she got from pops. It is what she craves and cannot live with out.

        Julia, would you like ‘Air’ or ‘Applause’

  5. Remember the guy she took a pic of as he was tickling Lilsters on her bed? Whatever happened to him….and all the others!??!

    So weird. What a boring life she leads.

    • Yeah, he was actually cute, as I recall. Remember all those supposed crushes she had on several of the matchmaker dates, including a dancing doctor who appeared to be a bit smitten with her? Gah, she ruins everything. Some lifecast, she only broadcasts about 1/100th of the story.

  6. ” darryl_pierce @juliaallison Is it just me or have you anointed 100+ places as “the perfect date spot?” about 11 hours ago from TweetDeck”

    Ha! Way to go Darryl_Pierce!

  7. Another reason Julia should date Arthur Kade: They both attended colleges with strong basketball programs. (Arthur went to Temple, while Julia went to Indiana.)

    • Those smiley face twits ONLY appear when she’s on dates. I think it’s supposed to make us think that something THRILLING happened.

  8. Can you imagine how frustrated a man has to be with her? “Snuggling”? Pretending to listen for 27 dates? Lights out, wait in the bathroom until she’s under the covers, then basically sex so uncomfortable and unwelcome that it borders on date rape? God. No wonder they dump her, so they can go to a party coat closet with some chick who will have three rum ringers and move her panties to the side.

    I mean, some girls do that. I’ve heard.

  9. so there’s something fishy with the tmiweekly thing. Last time on the puppies episode it said it had six comments but when you want to read it, it asks you to “be the first to comment!’
    Same thing happened this week: says 2 comments and when you try to read them….
    I guess, i shouldn’t be sending traffic their way, but there’s something super fishy about it.

    God, i’m addicted to this trainwreck.

    if this comment made no sense it’s only because i slept ~2hrs last night, not by choice.

    • I noticed that last week. I even registered at the stupid thing hoping that would let me see the comments but they just don’t seem to exist no matter what it says. I’m assuming that there were comments but they were removed and that removal does not affect the comment count. Probably intern Kate’s work. (Is that the intern’s name? Kate?)

  10. OK, PartyPants — do you not read your incessant comments? why must you comment on every. little. thing? let it go. srsly, let it go. you’re as bad as julia with her over-eager tweeting obsession: read down this comment page, you’re RUINING the thread. i must say – get a life, sweetie.

      • Thank god. And stay gone or I will have to uncross my legs and suffocate you with the stench of a thousand fast food wrappers which cover my floor. Also, I have rectal bleeding from the uncontrolled legionnaires disease rampaging through my bathroom, because I haven’t cleaned it since Christ was born. I have many weapons, PP!!! Do not mess with me.

  11. Is she kidding with the whole “guys with girlfriends = gay to me” ?? She is notorious for trying to steal boyfriends and date married men. I really hope karma exists.

  12. We are forgetting, I guess — everything is ALL for Har-Har’s benefit now, right?

    So that means we are to believe she has many suitors who could steal her away from Har-Har at any moment if he doesn’t declare them exclusive soon, and that she would NEVER go after someone’s boyfriend.

    It is all a series of Tweet-lies aimed at making her look good to Har-Har and his sister-in-law, who is following her. It is amazing to me that she cannot realize, however, how barking mad these Tweets make her seem.

    • Exactly. This is why I firmly believe that Har Har is actually real. She might be embellishing a bit but her tweets are obviously aimed at sending very passive aggressive tweets in his direction.

    • This is what makes it so amazing. If we assume that HarHar is for real – except the DC Harley date, that was BS as the majority here agreed – then this is an attempt to manipulate someone into commitment that even high school girls would consider too transparent to seriously try. I mean, she couldn’t have been more obvious had she hired a sky writer.

      If that doesn’t scare him off, then I really don’t know anymore.

      • My hunch is that he’s playing with her. He’s invited her to 2 outings, in all of 4.5 dates, that involve showing her off to friends of his. Might be find her amusing?

      • Crossing my fingers for an expose. My Crazy Not-Girlfriend by Harvard Harley. The subtitle will be (She Actually Called Me That)

  13. If she had a date in DC which involved her labelrific outfit and a motorcycle there would have been enough pics to wallpaper the moon. No way would she not document that SATC moment. Get real

  14. I agree with thosewho say he must be real because she is acting insane and seemingly trying to rope someone in. But, like, she pretty openly calls him harhar. Wouldn’t hat be difficult to explain. ‘oh I call u that because of our awesme bike date that I made up’. I don’t know. To me it seems like the only person she cares about is herself. And everyone has been making fun of her inability to get a second date. Seems like the tweets are more aimed at herself, how she would act were she dating somone. Because she totally could she’s so pretty and smart!

    Please, if Julia Allison went to a BBQ there would be at least a few pictures of her licking grill tongs in a of costume or something.

      • But like minor things such as tact, honesty, disclosure, decency towards other human beings … the discretion exercised with Leventhal was in short supply.

        About three months into their whatever-you-want-to-call-it, Julia began writing and exploring topic ideas for “when seeing someone, how do you determine who goes to what apartment?” All that cab fare to that far-away borough, totally non-accessible via public transportation called Brooklyn must have been adding up …

        Was she discrete by Julia Allison terms? Yes, alarmingly so. But, as we all know, the world of Julia Allison operates on a wholly separate and totally unrecognizable set of standards.

  15. # HAHAHHAH … @Meghan & I just watched a 50 foot digital billboard of us rapping in middle of Times Square. Unreal.about 1 hour ago from TwitterFon

    Dear God.

    • Oh, speaking of those crazy lipdubs … what about that Disney-sponsored lipdub of “Part of Your World”???

      I’ve been searching on the various Disney and Disney affiliated websites for it for weeks now … and I can’t seem to find it anywhere! Since we all agreed that it was totally logical that a family-oriented, family-marketed company would sponsor a low-rent sex columnist to utilize their copyrighted materials and lip synch poorly to their songs, I am anxiously anticipating the release of the musical masterpiece.

      …Julia wouldn’t lie about that, would she?

  16. This is serious and a matter of real concern. HarHar invited Julia to a BarBQue Sat night. This can only mean one thing: he doesn’t have a beach house. I know! It’s incredible! So Julia must be in L-U-V, prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice of tanning herself on her balcony while other romp in the Hamptons surf.

    I underestimated her. She does have a heart. I am abashed.

  17. The reason comments aren’t showing up on TMI weekly is because now they are being “reviewed” before being posted. I just tried to leave one and that was the message I got.

    • well, that explains the JA tweet of “I love my new intern Melissa!!!” over the weekend.

  18. julia spending best friends day with… meghan? what happened to courtney friel, shira lazar, randiZZZ, CD, david karp….? doesn’t she have 5 million BFFs?

    and meghan’s slightly man-faced sister is now tweeting. she’s a julia-brainwashed slanket lover. nonsociety here she comes!

  19. They’ve been screening TMI Weekly comments for quite some time now. The bug happening now is new (where it’s shown that comments exist but then you cannot see them).

      • Is thatgirlallison real or some sort of satire tumblr? It’s like someone is being/mocking/imitating the most cringeworthy and embarrassing things about Julia Allison – same bad bobby pinned hair do, same ugly pink outfits, same trite date recaps, attending the same sad media parties. She can’t be real, right???

      • Maybe ThatGirlAllison and Julia are the same person?!?! Finkle is Einhorn… Einhorn IS Finkle!!!

      • RE: ThatGirlAllison and Julia. This makes me want the meme about JA’s lesbianic tendencies to be true, BECAUSE IMAGINE IF THOSE TWO CRAZY KIDS FOUND LOVE TOGETHER!@#@$

  20. Can we PLEASE talk some more about the naked cowboy? Now that I’ve seen it, I need support.

    http://twitpic.com/6x64e

    She looks like she’s channelling a drunk Pam Ewing, doesn’t she? Or are satin looking dresses more Dynasty? Not sure.
    Also, get some deep hair treatment or new extensions, girl.
    And Meghan, oh well, is Meghan.

    • if nothing else, at least meghan has nice legs. and i can’t escape the “only in a woman’s world” ads, they are on tv, on twitpic, and of course tmi weekly.

    • That satin dress really accentuates Julia Allison’s shelf butt and beer (juice?) gut. Whoa. And it might be time to refresh the plastic clip in hair… you can really tell which strands of hair are her real hair (straight and stringy) and which strands of hair are fake (curly and a totally different color). Does she really think she’s fooling people into thinking that is her real hair? I’ve seen better quality fake hair clip ins at Sally Beauty Supply. Gross. Cheap. Hillbilly Geisha indeed.

  21. Ugh I don’t like Word Press. 🙁 When I refresh the page, I have no idea where to find new comments without reading everything all over again.

  22. Re: Julia’s photos from today

    Girl needs a fucking petticoat already if she’s going to be so obsessed with having skirts stand so far away from her body.

    And ugh at her OF COURSE sitting on a man’s lap in Times Square. Stop being such a player in the misogyny game. Feminist FAIL.

    • Well, her tutus that she’s so fond of are technically petticoats.

      That is, petticoats for small children. On the celebrity sighting page of that particular website, Julia is depicted at fashion week … and remains the only person over the age of 11 showcased on the celebrity sighting.

      Sad 🙁

  23. Featherbrained @juliaallison Men don’t respond well to this.
    about 7 hours ago from web

    Featherbrained @juliaallison Cause it seems like you are using twitter to send passive aggressive messages to him that he must declare you exclusive NOW.
    about 7 hours ago from web

    Featherbrained @juliaallison So is Harvard Harley real or just a figment of your imagination?
    about 7 hours ago from web

  24. I saw the pic with the naked cowboy and I thought, there HE is, the man of julia’s dreams. Think about it: they both love exposure and love doing crazy things on the streets of NY. Plus, there is a bonus, perhaps somewhere around the 11th date he could teach her how to use a guitar to cover what needs to be covered. Julia could just add a guitar to her outfit but wear it with the guitar on her back. BONUS, the guitar sash could double as a pagent sash which would so match her tiara.

    Jules, get that NakedJuliaCowgirl domain….uhm, now!

  25. Julia is never in the moment with other people (living props) in photos. She’s always trying to fuck the camera with her eyes. CREEPAZOID!!!! Stop trying to seduce me you stupid skank, it will NEVER HAPPEN.

  26. I have to say, if she is putting together a reel with the Gracies TMI involved, we don’t have to worry about her as the next Ryan Seacrest. I just watched it and stopped about 60 seconds in…she looks very scripted, contrived, unlikeable. I know in her mind she is thinking “I am so professional! Most powerful woman in the world question = I am so smart and I am such a feminist!”

    But she really looks very rehearsed on the camera, like it no longer agrees with her the way it maybe once did in canned segments about Britney’s breakdown.

    It was really like Sandra Bullock + lumpiness + fake enthusiasm. Eesh.

  27. HA! OK just watched some more of it. When Melissa Rivers gives her the line that she dislikes the “entitlement” of young Hollywood starlets, Julia is aghast. Rivers says “they aren’t ‘entitled’ to anything” and Julia looks at the camera and goes “Not even a free pair of Juicy couture pants”. WTF random, right?

    • Julia Allison is incredibly cringeworthy on camera. She is absolutely the worst part of TMI Weekly, which is really saying something since most of the segments I can’t watch past 30 seconds. It’s particularly hilarious that she got her start as a talking head. I can’t decide which is worse: her writing or her on camera presence. Either way, she really can’t call herself a “journalist” in any capacity.

  28. WHY is Just Appalling wearing a jewel-toned satin ruffled dress and clunky black suede platform sandals in the middle of the day on the brink of summer? I thought those godawful TopShop booties/shooties- whatever-the-hell-they-are were the worst, but apparently I was wrong. Fashion Girl, time for another intervention!

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