Yulia: Babushka has officially lost her mind

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Um … just in case they didn’t crown me at the Webutante Ball, I thought I’d crown myself.

Okay, I lying down for this one. Breathe easy, Russian Girl. Out, in, out, in.

So Poofy hope to be selected Webutard tonight. But while getting ready, first she twit this:

Oops. Webutante Ball at 6, blind date at 7:30, @Aubs’ day party at 8. And I’m still in my gym clothes. This can’t possibly end well.

Then, she twit this:

I lost the Webutante crown to College Humor’s Sarah & was 45 minutes late to my blind date. Oy. Off to @aubs’ day in my self-awarded tiara!

I have too many questions and there is no enough vodka to help me cope with all of her batshit loon behaviorals. I name:

WHAT HAPPEN TO HARVARD HARLEY BOY YOU HAVE SUPER-SECRET/CRAZY-PUBLIC FLIRTASHE WITH?!?!?!?

Who CARES if you get elected fake Prom Queen, other than you?

Why you always dress in costume like you character in some Barbie Dream Date board game? No one else is dressing in costume in your country other than at Disneyland and little girl birthday parties!

44 COMMENTS

  1. Flirtashe. I fucking love you, girl.

    Okay. I have other questions.

    -A 30 minute date that she showed up 45 minutes late for? Poor guy.

    -Also 2 tweeters say Julia like ran in and ran out of webtard party.

    -How’d she’ inflate 5 sizes up overnight? Do you think blueprint causes chemical inflation reaction?

  2. Kissy Face Tard-http://www.nickmcglynn.com/randomnightout/photos/albums/thewebutanteball/images/DSC_0032.jpg

    Braying Donkey Tard-http://www.nickmcglynn.com/randomnightout/photos/albums/thewebutanteball/images/DSC_0029.jpg

    Only girlfriend left tard-http://www.nickmcglynn.com/randomnightout/photos/albums/thewebutanteball/images/DSC_0120.jpg

    • Ohmigod, the facial lumps, bumps, and ridges are in abundance in those unretouched pics. Was she in a car accident that required some sort of reconstructive surgery? Is she a fembot? What the bloody hell did that quack doctor do to her? I’m sending him flowers AND candy, because he is a true American hero.

  3. She really did scare Harvard Dude away, huh? And now she’s trying to make him jealous by Tweeting about her blind date, since she knows his sister-in-law follows her. She is one messed-up chick.

    • Why would this dumb bitch set up a blind date on a night when she has the Webutard Ball AND a friend’s birthday party? She is seriously demented, and/or LYING about the blind date.

  4. HarHar: “Uh, Julia, my sister-in-law mentioned that she, um, happens to follow you on Twitter and…”

    Julia (joyous hand clap): “Oh that’s wonderful!”

    HarHar: “Yeah…and, uh…lemme ask you, this is like a performance art thing you do, right, I mean, it’s not serious, r-r-right?”

    Julia: “Well, between you and me, that’s just my personal brand for the public. It’s not the real me.”

    HarHar looks as relieved as a man who’s finally taken a dump after 5 days of constipation.

    Julia: “Let’s look at my scrapbooks. I wanna show you, HarHar. This is me in my tutu and tiara, I took it at home last year, and this is a Christmas card from my plastic surgeon–he’s the best–and this is the lady who makes my hair extensions and this is…”

  5. I honestly can’t fuckin’ believe that crazy bitch would stand there in public with a fuckin’ tiara on her motherfuckin’ head. I’m serious, I don’t even understand this behavior.

    And she didn’t even fucking win stupid fake fucking prom queen, so why is she not TOTALLY EMBARRASSED to still wear the dumb tiara?!

    This seriously just enraged me. WHY DO I CARE? SOMEONE HAS TO STOP HER.

  6. She wore the pink pony dress and the tiara to her friend’s birthday party:

    http://twitpic.com/6q8da

    When an outfit is THAT appropriate and flattering (were those legs a transplant from a hockey player?), you gotta stick with what works.

    • JESUS H. CHRIST, Jankles. Are you kidding with the black tights? You have the legs of a 300 lb. midget. No. Joke. Why the fuck would you accentuate them with black tights?

      This is what happens when you don’t have any friends. No one to pull you aside and say ‘ixnay on the ights-tay’.

    • who the fuck wears a tiara to someone else’s birthday party?!?!

      why the hell is she wearing black tights in June??

      And I can tell you why she wore the Webutard dress to the party (and likely on her date, too, if it even happened): so she could tell everyone that she was nominated to be the chief webutard.

    • So she is perfectly capable of changing clothing when going from the Gracie red carpet to the gathering of Assholes, but not when going from the Webutard Wankathon to a birthday party?

      I used to hate this cunt, then I got really bored with her, and now she’s an huge source of laughter. I have always been intrigued with reading about abnormal psychiatry (multiple personalities, psychopaths, serial killers, etc.), and her madness is fascinating to me now. Rock on, Tiara Tard!

  7. Favorite twitter search results for Miss Julia Allison:

    clembastow @anniesteve: eat what you want! Portion control and Julia Allison’s mad “tasting” of desserts = HELL ON EARTH. Come to the buffet… 😉 about 22 hours ago from web

    AJTavana: Julia Allison is a who-her. about 2 hours ago from web

  8. “dungman: @JuliaAllison I saw you at the Webutante Ball tonight. Why did you run out so fast? Bulimia? Cankle-itis? I’m glad you lost, horseface!”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    • At first I read that as “cankle-tits” and it left a really unfortunate visual in my head.

  9. Um, Jules… when I wore the tiara in my videos: it was a joke, not a suggestion.

    The comment she left on my Vimeo page:

    Okay, this is hysterical. Much better than my original video. And I love the tiara – nice touch!!

    Indeed.

  10. Well, of course I was nominated. And of course I SHOULD win! But, whatever; most importantly, it’s a photo op.
    Now how to be the centre of attention and upstage whoever does win (but I KNOW it will be me!!)?
    Yay.com!, even though my apartment is tiny, how smart am I to have thought ahead and made room for that drawer full of tiaras! Brilliant.
    Bonus: my pictures will be tagged: “Julia Allison, Webutante Ball” and it will look like I WON! It’s win/win bunnies. I’m so so happy.

  11. Not a word of congratulations to the actual winner.
    Favorite tweets:

    funkybrownchick: [Redacted] just came up to me and said ” @juliaallison is in the house and she’s already wearing a crown!! ” #WebutanteBall

    juliaallison: http://twitpic.com/6omhz – Hope the Webutante Ball is like my senior prom w 17 prom dates.

    nicolejames: @juliaallison What does this even mean? Looks like an excuse for you to trot out yet ANOTHER old photo of yourself. & this one is 10 yrs old

    • From fellow nominee Mo’s blog:

      “Attending an event wearing a tiara, an event where someone is going to be “crowned” later, is a little like showing up to a Batman audition in full Catwoman regalia. Reference too dated? Whatever!”

  12. um, btw, rest-of-america, this is not how we party in nyc. Your typical aspiring professional, whether in media or otherwise, doesn’t go to a lot of “events”. The whole faux prom, and the whole theme yacht party thing – that’s some weird, out-of-fashion shit.

    I doubt the satin gowns and $13 appletinis lifestyle that JA is looking for ever reall existed – outside of that awful investment banker crowd. And they are clearing out fast. That high-life crap, of overpriced food, and red carpets and seeing-and-being-seen, is for 50-year-old rich white people. And tourists.

    NYC is about the neighborhoods now – Brooklyn and Queens and way uptown. The city is fast enough and crowded enough that after work and on weekends, it has become very much a “hanging out place” Go see a band. Set up camp at a bar. Have a party with friends. Now, of course, you hang around long enough and you’ll find yourself doing some stuff you never anticpiated: sooner or later a friend drags you to an art opening or a book party, or some industry reception/conference. You might have to throw on a little black dress. Or a tie. And the newness of it makes it fun.

    But NYC right now is the beer gardens in astoria, Queens. And pool halls and rock clubs in Brooklyn. And dim-sum joints at the far end of Chinatown. It’s not only that those places are more relaxed, cheaper (rents are falling here, yes, but so are wages) and more fun. It’s also where you meet people. If you’re an aspiring writer/or artist/ or webreteneur or anything really, you’re much more likely to meet people in your field and hear about opportunities going where those people already go.

    And let me tell you: not too many people who know anything are running around borrowing designer gowns for a big fake night out. Media is changing Julia, you’re right. And NYC is leading the way. But you’re nowhere near the heart of it.

    • She’s still consulting the notes she furiously scribbled while watching SATC reruns over and over and over and over…

      • I know!
        And that is one of the distortions of hers that has made me a dedicated re-blogger. The image that she is projecting – of “journalism”, of NYC, of “writing” – is so far from reality.

        Sooo many people come here from elsewhere and already have pre-conceived notions of what NYC will be like. I think of some smart, writer-girl from Washington State or Kansas, considering a move here, and then stumbling over JA’s tripe. And I just want to scream, No, baby! It’s not like that! Don’t be fooled! Bring your talent and your guts here, sister! And leave the tiaras in Indianapolis (or wherever..)

    • I hate to say it, but I think DC is actually the exact town JA should be living in. In one sense, she would crash and burn because knowledge is currency in this town and if you aren’t reading a daily newspaper you’re going to get left behind. But in another sense, there’s a whole social scene devoted to wannabe prep stars and like it or not, it really has a huge hand in the town’s charity scene.

      It’s all a bit nauseating but I’ll be damned if it’s not exactly the type of place that hosts Webutante self-congratulatory type events every single week.

      And we wonder why she always harps on Georgetown all the time…

  13. She created quite the scene last night. She stationed herself right in front of the entrance to the enclosed-terrace, which made it a little obnoxious to get to the bathroom (fire hazard?) because of all the stalkeratzi photographing her. I think she may have left after everyone was done photographing her.

      • You “see” I was there? LOL. I honestly have nothing more to input. I didn’t try talking to her. She was being photographed from every direction, and there were a couple of video cameras in her face. I passed her right as she was entering, when I came back, people were still all over her, and then I went to the other side of the bar where my friends were, and about a half an hour later, while trying to head over to the photo booth, the commotion was gone, and I think she was too.

        Somehow I completely missed the crowing though..

  14. Anyone else getting tired of this group of new media folks throwing self-congratulatory parties and taking photos of themselves?

    Nick McGlynn’s website, I have a rename suggestion for you -Yaaaaawn.com.

    • I am “this close” to doing a reblogging Nick McGlynn website. He’s fucking annoying and such a pathetic dork.

  15. Julia’s begun to remind me more and more of Janice Dickerson. The injections, the aging, the braying, anything to get attention. Fag hagdom is just around the corner.

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