I don’t know, say I’m some Harvard dude. And I start dating this minor media celebrity, Jackles Allison. Bravely, I go on more than one date despite Googling her and seeing there are a litany of flashing, blaring, bleating warning signs. She’s got nice tits, after all, and I went to Harvard, so surely I’ll get access pretty soon.
I try not think the worst when I see that in the days before our first date, she was maniacally posting photos of wedding dresses like some deranged eight-year-old girl who’s pulled out Malibu Barbie and is performing wedding ceremonies between Babs and Ken with Skipper as the bridesmaid. I tell myself she must have only been kidding when she Tweet-warned her future bridesmaids, amid the wedding gown frenzy, that they’ll be wearing bright pink gowns with big bows when she gets married in five years, despite the fact she has no romantic prospects in sight.
I date her anyway, and impress her with my Harley, and tolerate her referring to me publicly as “Harvard Harley.” But I have to struggle to fight off the growing panic when I read a collection of her Tweets about me after our handful of brief dates since we first met less than three weeks earlier (in chronological order):
Minutes after first date:
Harvard guy was definitely not a douchebag. 🙂
I just have one Official Flirty Facebook Reply to send to my Harvard crush, and then I’M WATCHING GOSSIP GIRL, AHHHHHHHH!!!!
Um … @MaryRambin? July 18th may have come a little early this year. 🙂 (!!!!!)
Verging on giddy – a combination of last night’s date, the anticipation of seeing my girls from college & being back on campus. Aww
Can you procrastinate your destiny? Hmm.
The bottom line for any relationship – platonic or romantic – comes down to this: do you like who you are with that person?
It’s 10:32 pm and I already want to go to bed. What’s wrong with me?! Related: I am in the mood to snuggle with a certain boy. Trouble.
Am I the only girl who feels a constant undercurrent of nerves when I like someone? Even if they’re not around? (Feeling nervous lately.)
Huh, I might say to myself if I’m Harvard Guy. How strange! I wonder why she might be feeling nervous? Could it be because she is SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME and she’s starting to pick up on the cues??