Jackles’s public bleating for a slave is longer than anything she’s written in months. It’s after the jump below, but let me sum up by saying she wants someone, for free, to do everything. That ranges from cleaning up Lilly’s shit to researching blog content and running errands that we already know, thanks to Charlsie, involve returning freebies and attempting to get cash for them or basically being treated like dirt while trying to meet Jackles’s lazy-assed demands 24/7. If yesterday’s shenanigans are any indication, these chores could soon include pounding the crap out of any uppity bitches who piss Jackles off by talking too much or bailing her out of jail when she does it herself. Help in constructing a fake boyfriend and coming up with lies to explain away ridiculous blog posts and/or Tweets would probably also be welcome.
Who would want to work for free for these three, in particular Julia, who is not only viewed as a nobody in Manhattan circles but also as someone who’s barking mad and social and media Kryptonite? The three of them are nobodies, really, going nowhere fast and their names, and that of NonSociety, would mean absolutely nothing to any reputable employer in the years to come. Rather than experience, however, I suppose the poor intern would gain a valuable life lesson in the “Things I Will Never Do Again With A Gun To My Goddamned Head” category. Some wise bloggers have already warned potential interns to stay away.
Read her ridiculous list of requirements after the jump.
NONSOCIETY is looking for TWO AWESOME SUMMER INTERNS!
We’re lucky – we’ve had a lot of amazing interns here at NonSociety – Abbey, Kate, Kay, Samantha, Harrison, Matt, to name a few. Some stay for a few weeks, some for a few months, and some have worked with us for almost a year.
We’re looking for part and full time summer interns – energetic, organized, dedicated individuals with a positive attitude who want to work for us until, ideally, September (or they go back to school).
Read about one of our former intern’s experiences here. We like to think it’s the best internship in Manhattan 😉 (You could have this much fun! or this much fun! this much fun! or even THIS much fun!)
Of course, it’s not just dressing up in costumes and hanging out at Fashion Week – it’s a real internship. That means – and I don’t want to sugar coat it – “bitch work” is part of that. Running errands, taking care of shit. Please realize that. But we think that the good stuff more than outweighs the crap.
Below (in a few ‘grafs) is what I posted to get our last set of Awesome Interns, in 2008. All of the criteria is still the same: we need you to be up for anything, very personable, a fantastic writer, bonus points if you’re interested in being a producer (you’ll be working with TMIweekly, too) or editor. We want creative, organized, dedicated individuals!! An interest in TV, new media, fashion, business and writing is preferred.
We’ll be hiring one or two interns in NYC and one intern (who can live anywhere) who will work virtually.
PLEASE SEND A COVER LETTER highlighting your most awesome attributes. Do NOT attach your resume, just paste it in the body of the text. I hate opening attachments. If you have a blog or a twitter, please send us the link. Please also attach a current photograph of yourself, hopefully one that is fun and expresses your personality. Finally, note your availability (full time, or if part time, when) and your end date.
JOBS@NONSOCIETY.COM – subject: NonSociety Summer Internship
*2008 INTERNSHIP AD*
The Most Exciting Post You’ll Ever Read
NONSOCIETY needs an intern to abuse!
Our current intern, Samantha, is going off to college, something I’ve discouraged for months now, but apparently “getting an education” is important to her. Whatever. If getting an education isn’t important to you, I highly recommend applying for the position of Official Awesome NonSociety Yay Intern Good Job! I’m warning you now … It’s pretty much the best career opportunity OF YOUR LIFE. Not much will compare to this experience, unless you happen to work at Bath & Body Works, which can totally be arranged, because we have hookups, like, everywhere.
Conservatively, 87% of our interns go on to become editors-in-chiefs of ASME award winning magazines within 4-6 days of leaving our comprehensive program of emotional and physical toil. The other 12% are shuttled directly into graduate programs about the 38th parallel and its relative symbolism to Conde Nast & Hearst. 1% are still trapped in the bathroom where we left them during Fall Fashion Week 2007.
We pride ourselves in releasing our interns back into the incestuous Manhattan media world with extensive experience bullshitting, encloypediac knowledge of every datable media/tech guy age 15-63, how to properly field lip dub requests from small towns in Australia, the secrets of posing for the camera in exactly the same way every single time without deviation, and a complete history of every article ever written about or including Gossip Girl.
Possible candidates must:
– know how to twitter that you’re enjoying a really fabulous party when secretly you want to twitter that you’re wearing giant underwear eating cupcakes at home.
– be really good at listening to Meghan talk about her AWESOME iPhone! Tell her she is a geek frequently. Laugh at her jokes! She is the nice one. Everyone knows this.
– tirelessly smile while filming Julia lip dubbing ridiculously age-inappropriate Disney / Lionel Richie songs. Act like this is normal and fun in italics. Say “yay.com” a lot and tell her that phrase is so totally going to catch on. Compliment her questionable choice in wardrobe. Remind her to sleep.
– agree with everything Mary says about fashion. She is the fashion boss and what she says goes, or she will make you cry. If she says you have to buy $785 YSL shoes, you will nod and tell her that is very reasonable, what a bargain, she and Isaac Mizrahi are both very budget conscious, many people will certainly be snapping this footwear up at this price! Or she will make them cry. Then you will go to spin class with her and YOU WILL SWEAT. Or she will make you cry.
– Pretend to like our dogs. Pick up their poop. Pretend to like picking up our dogs’ poop.
– Pretend to like our blogs. Pick up their poop.
– Read and respond to all bossy emails Julia sends after midnight. Realize that Julia only sends bossy emails after midnight. Realize Julia has not gone to bed before 3 am since 1986. Realize that’s a lot of bossy emails.
– Get Julia to places on time.
– Realize Julia has never been on time to anything in her entire life.
– Start a secret blog about being an intern for NonSociety.
– Sell rights to best-selling novel, called “The Devil Thinks She’s Carrie Bradshaw 2.0”
– Retire at 23. Become yoga instructor. Live happily ever after with one of Julia’s ex-boyfriends.
GOD. YOU’RE SO LUCKY.
I wish I could be my own intern.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org – subject title: Intern, yo.
okay … I’m a little puckish tonight (um, obviously?), but FINE, I guess I should probably explain the serious requirements – the following was written by Samantha The Intern, because I Am Too Important.
We need someone who can be in NYC day and night. Below is a list of criteria and possible tasks. Experience isn’t necessary but if you’ve got a resume please send it along! Make sure to tell us if you have a blog, twitter, myspace, etc. No school credit is required, but we can give it, if need be.
FYI: A Non Society intern works with Julia, Mary and Meghan on both a personal and professional level. That means, one day you might be picking up dog for food Lilly and Mason, and the next you’re researching great date spots or the newest gadget.
Criteria for a Non Society intern:
A flexible schedule. There aren’t set hours and days, so an intern should try and make their schedule as flexible as possible. One week they might be completely booked with work for Non Society and the next week has only a few tasks to complete.
Residence in New York City, preferably Manhattan, is best.
An interest in blogs and everything that Julia, Mary and Meghan write about.
Not afraid to give ideas/opinions. (Julia’s Note: Not afraid in general. har.)
Good communication skills
Some possible tasks:
Staying connected with Julia, Mary, Meghan and Megan.
In charge of press books and press kits
Running errands—both personally and for the business
Assisting on photo shoots
Extra credit if you’re 1) a good videographer 2) a good video editor 3) technologically adept (can you fix a printer? email?) 4) know how to put together a press kit 5) know a bit about ad sales
PS. Please let us know if you would be comfortable on camera. It’s TOTALLY okay if you’re not, we just need that info for planning purposes.
PPS. Do not send us nude photos. That is awkward.