Yulia: Already doomed her next relashe

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I follow this Twitter drama from my pig farm in Omsk, where my small oinkers are totes better at mating than Poofy is.

Here she go:

Lure fish bar with The Karp. Then? Blind date’s big, drunk party. Ah, Sat night.


Then this:

Harvard guy was definitely not a douchebag. 🙂


Then this:

@brettEnewcomb & @stn774477 – Get your mind out of the gutter!! We haven’t even KISSED yet!! But I definitely have a crush.


Well played, Poofy! You have told us he go/went to Harvard (OMG CAN HE GET YOU INTO THE BUSINESS SCHOOLS?!?!? No? Oh. Okay.), and that is he is alcoholic (MY KIND OF GUY!!!), and then you broadcast to Neptune that you really, really, REALLY like him (translashe: man poison).

You now have T minus 1,823 days to get new man for your breakdancing, all-pink wedding. HOP TO IT!!!!!!