VALENTINE’S DAY 2006. OH YES. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
I HAVE NO ONE BUT MYSELF, THE SPRAY TANNER AND THE MAKEUP ARTISTS AT [REDACTED] WHO TURNED ME INTO A CUPID’S-BOW-WIELDING TRANSVESTITE TO BLAME.
Jackles once again felt the need to post old photos of herself last night, looking slender and untouched by large quantities of cupcakes, the misery of relentless rejections from wealthy men and Dr. Bobby’s repeated chemical injections. I will play armchair psychologist here and suggest, since she seems to be posting fewer and fewer full-body shots of herself and is clearly unhappy with how she looks right now (despite another fraudulent proclamation recently that she has. never. been. so. happy. with. her. body. ever. before. not. ever!), that this is another cry for people to e-mail her to tell her how hot she is. The “OMG!! HOT!! SKINNY!!!” photos emerged again last night and this one is by far the best.
Hey, Jules? Look, we know how much you love to blame others for your troubles, but Jackles, your makeup in this photo is the least of your problems. How about the sparkly, control-top panty-hose? The leg-warmers? Or, I don’t know, THE WINGS ATTACHED TO YOUR SLUTTY VALENTINE’S DAY OUTFIT?
This was only three years ago, people. She was supposedly 25. Who DOES this? Who goes out in public this way? This is the woman who got into a huge IM brawl with Rachel Sklar about Obama Girl, by the way, and how demeaning she was to women. Uhhhhh ……. OK.