Julia: So Happy She’s Desperately Pining For One of The Escaped Ones

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Less than an hour after her “OMG!! I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY!!!” post we get this Tweet from JA:

“Do you ever inexplicably miss someone you – logically – have no right to miss?

OK, so:

1. Pissed off friends.
2. No money.
3. Strained parental relationship.
4. Business failing.
5. No man.
6. Failure to look like the hot one in the next TMI Weekly segment.
7. Blew it with gazillionaire.
8. Obsessing over weight, food intake, body image.
9. Struggling with growing awareness that her attempt to bring the apron back might fail.
10. Harvard Business School: FAIL
11. Demi Moore continues to ignore her.
12. The ineffable Alexander Marquandt … he’s just now coming out from hiding in the basement lair of the Pentagon, terrified he’ll be blogged about again for 48 hours straight.
13. Even Paul Carr and Sheryl Spencer have bailed, and that girl Allison is turning.
14. Even with a hairdo she cannot style, that bitch Mary is hotter, smarter, funnier and has a way better blog.
15. Desperately pining for, let’s see, who? My money’s on Lodwick.

You know what all that spells, people??

TRUE HAPPINESS!!!!!!

1 COMMENT

  1. Okay, this needs to be said re: the JA/MR styling thing. Yes, MR looked totally in the right. JA was mean/obnoxious/horrible/etc. Agreed. However… Mary isn’t great. In fact, in person she’s kind of mean, self-important, and doesn’t really come across as all that smart. Maybe she’s the lesser of two evils, but I still choose neither!

  2. She has posted other blatherings nearly identical to the current “So so Happy” and “Pining” posts at least twice that I am aware of, and I haven’t even been following her from the beginning of creation (that is, the creation of JA), or even very diligently for that matter. I think the “Pining” ones are about Alex-Who-was-Perfect-and-Adored-Her-But-She-Wasn’t-in-the-Right-Space-Then.

  3. Regardless of Mary’s brainpower, taste, personality, whatever, she was still publicly humiliated by her alleged BFF, Julia.

  4. your forgot 16 started web 2.0 business to build web portal without programmer

    Not a joke it was the one before IT girl and NS..was stopped when readers pointed out to JA that they need programmer to make that happen and actually pay said programmer.

  5. Mary’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I still like to give credit where credit is due. Mary does seem to follow through with her commitments, whether blogging or spinning or showing up to tape TMI on time. She also appears to be honest and has a very positive relationship with her mother. In addition, Mary is very natural on camera and has a pleasant way of speaking to the viewer, certainly much more so than the cackling Jackles or ludicrous Meghan, those two make me want to pull out my hair. That is all.

    –Jean Brodie

  6. If you saw the earlier TMI episodes, you’d see how far Mary has come with her on camera presentation. I get the feeling that she takes the criticisms in and tries to process/implement them.

    She’s breaking free. Trust me on this. She’s waiting for the TMI contract to expire.

  7. I’m not “starting to turn” – I just enjoy reading occasionally – I don’t idolize any of the girls though. I think they all have their faults (botox, bad haircuts, potential anorexia, etc), but who doesn’t have faults?

    I don’t think Mary was trying to make Julia look like an idiot – I think she just has awful style herself, and I didn’t take Julia’s post as that much of an attack as just stating an opinion. But from recent posts, I do think there’s tension there.

    Oh well.

  8. Christan,

    I am probably the second biggest Mary “hater”, but even I’ll admit she’s grown in her presentation. But, she’s as dumb as a rock and not really a caring individual. She’s really a bit pathetic with the boozing and the self loathing and the whole poor nutrition thing.

    That said, this TMI/NS thing falls apart. What then? She’s a SPIN INSTRUCTOR, what opportunities does she get? More Fuse TV spots? Those are freebies. She’s the best in the TMI sphere, but hell, that isn’t saying anything at all. My kid cousins can make more compelling videos with their cell phones and skateboards.

    Just my two cents on this

  9. Web20Morons, I agree with you. Just because Mary comes out of this looking the best, doesn’t mean she’s anywhere near decent.

  10. Anon @ 7:56 & W20M, 'tis true that Mary doesn't come out looking good, but she does come out looking a WHOLE LOT better than Jackles does.

    How long til Julia Allison (Julia Baugher) finally turns on her? Maybe when Mary finally snaps out of it and flees the loon. Just like Julia couldn't take it that a guy who looks like Jakob actually dumped her, so she had to repeatedly make public his alleged health issues (to explain why a guy who looks like that would dump her), she will unload on Mary.

  11. Can we take a break from our regularly scheduled programming of Just Another Manic Meltdown and shine the spotlight on Meghan for a second? She blogged about the recession today and let the following gem slip:

    “it’s now quite natural for me to live small until the economy changes”

    WHAT. THE. HELL.

    Is living in a huge apartment that your parents bought you living small? Is flying around the world on private jets living small? Is buying up every goofy gadget you can get your hands on living small? Jesus. Meghan doesn’t speak very often, but when she does she lets some really ignorant, out of touch shit slip out.

  12. I think ol’ Megs meant that she is attempting to do her spending on the downlow, because the Richie Rich’s of the world aren’t too popular right now.

    Or she’s subtly hinting to JA and MR that she can’t loan them any more money. Snerk.

  13. But, she’s as dumb as a rock and not really a caring individual. She’s really a bit pathetic with the boozing and the self loathing and the whole poor nutrition thing.

    Oh, no question. But when to comes to producing content she has the other two beat. But she needs to tone down all her public mentions of boozing.

  14. Please tell me she’s not pining for Emerald Man again. I can’t keep her lovelife straight, but I believe she dumped him, he stopped talking to her, she managed to interest him again, she got bored and dumped him again, he found new love, and then he REALLY stopped talking to her.

    BTW, she tells a detailed story of him presenting her with emerald jewelry and gift-boxed dresses and having her pick one to wear. I KNOW I’ve read that exact scenario somewhere else, a looooong time ago. I used to be a big fan of Harlequin romances (shut up, I was 14), so maybe that’s why it seems familiar..? Anybody?

  15. Suddenly Jackles is posting again. It’s crap, as always, but I am guessing the suggestions that Mary is a better blogger are getting to her.

    I will say nothing about her hands.

  16. Julia's latest twitter to her new besties Ashton and Demi:

    @mrskutcher & @aplusk – just got a text from an awesome guy who is sitting at the same restaurant as you both. He wants to entertain you. 😉
    about 5 hours ago from web

    Julia: please slowly step away from Ashton and Demi. I am sure that is one restraining order that you don't want. You know a thing or two about restraining orders, don't you?

  17. She cheated on Alex. With the Men’s Health guy..what’s his name….I don’t care. She admits to cheating several times. She’s a whack job.

    She is so morally corrupt and out of touch.

    Can’t come up with a birthday location in NYC? What an idiot.

  18. “always choose wild over farmed”

    Riiiight……

    Also, dates are basically straight shots of sugar. Nice try, health nut.

    I especially meant it when I said “nut”

  19. “Julia: please slowly step away from Ashton and Demi. I am sure that is one restraining order that you don’t want. You know a thing or two about restraining orders, don’t you?”

    Hilarious!

  20. SquirrelBait: That is one of the more demented JA posts. First — what an invasion of privacy. I am sure this guy wants his mug out there for everyone to see he actually once dated and was screwed over by this crazed loon. And very respectful of the new girlfriend, as well.

    And even most alarmingly: does she have NO self-respect? She takes to her blog to get an old boyfriend to call her because she can’t get a new one.

    She is shameless.

  21. SquirrelBait: That is one of the more demented JA posts. First — what an invasion of privacy. I am sure this guy wants his mug out there for everyone to see he actually once dated and was screwed over by this crazed loon. And very respectful of the new girlfriend, as well.

    And even most alarmingly: does she have NO self-respect? She takes to her blog to get an old boyfriend to call her because she can’t get a new one.

    She is shameless.

  22. Yo, on jezebel, there’s a pic of demi and ashton in Berlin YESTERDAY. I mean, it’s possible that JA isnt lying about her restaurant friend, but who the hell does she know in Berlin (if they’re there..)????

  23. Came across this gem while I was looking for Emerald Man story:

    “Then there was the New Years I spent in South Africa when I was 25, where I managed to sneak off during the evening and kiss a second guy, one that I really liked, instead of my actual date, who I thought was passably amusing, but not very attractive. I tend to like adventure and flirty intrigue, and that trip was very much an adventure in flirty intrigue. Not to mention, it portended a year of that to come …”

    http://julia.nonsociety.com/post/59860451

    According to the mediabistro story linked on the home page here, that dope who paid for her trip was Candace Bushnell’s ex, and the guy she snuck off to kiss was Dave Zincenko. She didn’t find the guy attractive enough to sleep with, but he was “passably amusing” enough to accept a free trip from.

    This entire website and all the snark contained herein just isn’t enough to balance out all that bad karma. She really has made some enemies along the way to “becoming Julia Allison.”

  24. She was so much less poofy when she was with this Michael person. It makes me so sad that she continues to put the cupcakes into her mouth and then also posts photographs of herself looking as thin as the railings in front of my cousin Anton’s house in the village.

  25. Probably someone twittered that they saw the Kutchers and Jankles used it as an excuse to tweet-stalk them once again. The thing is, Ashton and Demi get random messages from seriously weird people ALL DAY LONG. You should see all the fawning comments left on Demi’s photos (I don’t understand Twitter, sorry, but when people comment on her photos, the comments show up as tweets.)

  26. RussianGirl: One of your better ones, and they’re all fucking brilliant. You really need to start blogging. Can you do a guest post here every now and again?

  27. I can’t help but think that the person she has no right missing is Chad Hurley. Married, kids, totally out of bounds … pure bait to Jackles. And it’s sad the way she puts out so many of these “guess who” twitters so her handful of sad fan boys twitter back …ya, baby, make it me this time. (vom)

  28. They each have tens of thousands of followers, but of course JA is just delusional enough to think they might actually respond to her. And make an appearance on TMI Weekly!! And put up some money so she can continue to blog photos of her hands!! And let her fly in their private jet!!

    Seriously, if any of you are on Twitter, warn those two that Jackles is a cuckoo bird.

  29. You know what’s so great about all these stories?

    The fact that she went from dating Alex (Mr. Big) to Emerald Man (Michael, who bought her jewelery and dresses) to The Zinc (that Zincenko dude that dated Rose McGowan/Editor of Men’s Health) to Lodwik to Forman to that Editor of some restaurant website. She’s gone from years long relationships, to a few months, to a few dates. And, might I add, she’s seriously dated down. And no doubt by choice.

  30. Ruh roh. Julia Allison might be onto me! A few days ago I posted a comment on their TMI Valentine’s episode subtly making fun of Julia’s too tight satin dress. It got posted and stayed up there for days and today it’s gone. JAB can’t handle a subtle jab, but she’s so HAPPEEEEE!!!!

  31. You mean not by choice! She is not going to pull wealthy, eligible guys anymore. Not with her online lunacy out there for everyone to see.

    Note to Jackles: Discretion is usually a really big thing for rich people. They value it.

  32. You mean not by choice! She is not going to pull wealthy, eligible guys anymore. Not with her online lunacy out there for everyone to see.

    Note to Jackles: Discretion is usually a really big thing for rich people. They value it.

  33. Well, Jacqueline, I’ve suspected they pay more attention to this site than to their own. I’ll accept this as scientific proof of my hypothesis.

  34. Yet the Craigslist postings for used cars, free refrigerators, found keys, etc. remain in the Advice Box for weeks on end.

  35. If youtube views of TMI weekly are any indication..

    TMI bombing down to less than 1000 views from all time high of 50,000

  36. Oh – re: Michael: Am I the only one who thinks he’s very attractive? I have a friend who is good friends with him and apparently he is dating another crazy girl right now – for the past two years, I think.

  37. Allison – from the photo I think he looks very attractive also. And he sounds like a very sweet if misguided man.

  38. I have a friend who is good friends with him and apparently he is dating another crazy girl right now – for the past two years, I think.

    Alison, you sure seem to have a lot of connections to JA. And, I thought you weren’t down with publicly slandering someone online? Unless that friend of your from TONY is also the friend that knows Julia’s ex?

    You obviously want to spill. C’mon. Spill just a little?

  39. I have a friend who is good friends with him and apparently he is dating another crazy girl right now – for the past two years, I think.

    Alison, you sure seem to have a lot of connections to JA. And, I thought you weren’t down with publicly slandering someone online? Unless that friend of your from TONY is also the friend that knows Julia’s ex?

    You obviously want to spill. C’mon. Spill just a little?

  40. No, the friends are unrelated. The one who knows Michael was completely by chance – New York is a small place.

    The guy that doesn’t like Julia is a guy I dated works at TONY. That’s all I’ll say!

    PS: My name is spelled with two L’s.

  41. Allison, I agree that he’s a handsome man. The love letter he wrote to Jackles was quite touching. I felt embarrassed for him that strangers were reading his most private thoughts, however. No wonder he doesn’t talk to her anymore.

  42. She can’t stop with the manipulation for a minute, can she? Always trying to provoke a response. Jabbers, hon, guys who prefer communicating with you via the Internet, instead of in person or over the phone, are just not that into you.

  43. Silly pink frosting-fingered bunny-lady! The apron has already been revived. People who actually cook know this. The Jessie Steele apron photos you posted — where the heck do you think those came from? They are POPULAR! They are sold on Amazon! I gave several of them as Christmas gifts.

    Now stop trying to pretend you have the fashion currency to revive ANY sort of trend (particularly one that you hope will disguise your cupcake butt) and get into the gym.

  44. Anonymous 7:28:

    totally agree on Julia Allison vs. Mary Rambin.

    It’s very much diamond cut diamond, who do you root for? Occasionally I have fleeting (very fleeting) sympathies for Rambin, but then I remember her graceless gaffes and think the better of it.

  45. Oh, newsflash. I was out to dinner in Houston (yes, some people live here very happily, cupcakes) the other day and saw Mary Rambin’s mom. It was an eerie moment. I mean, I only knew her through the photos on Nonsociety. She looked nice, and normal, and not even a wee bit flashy or trashy. (So take that, Texas bashers.) For a second I thought maybe I had her daughter all wrong. And then I thought…naaaah.

  46. I have occasionally found myself at the New Canaan, CT train station which is — quite literally — nearly in the backyard of Mary’s parents’ house. Mary is from Texas the same way George W. Bush is. He’s MOSTLY from Connecticut, and so is she.

  47. Oh, fer crying out loud. Lots of people are in Berlin for the film festival right now. I got a tweet from one of them a few hours ago, but I didnb’t sic them on poor Mr and Mrs. Kutcher. Could Julia Allison BE any more lamo-o?

  48. New Canaan is where Mary’s dad lives with wife #2, soap star Leven’s mom. First wife lives in Houston and owns a resale shop which Mary flogs endlessly on NonSociety.

  49. Yes, Dyspeptic (1:50), she CAN be and she WILL be. That’s why I can’t stop watching. The Pink Lady never disappoints.

    By the way, she’s also up post-midnight, raving about how sexy ScarJo is, while clucking disapproval about her outfit at the same time. I’m sure Demi would be impressed.

    Do you think JABber-stalky scored those free tickets to the Vagina Monologues she was subtly begging for in the wee hours of yesterday morning?

  50. Did any you of you listen to the radio interview Julia just posted?

    Listen to it here.

    Beyond her being rude to the interviewer and making fun of him the whole time, she gets excited in the middle of the interview that she just received a “sexy” text message from a guy she’s “been chasing for a year” that had something to with sushi (don’t ask me to explain how sushi can be sexy).

    My immediate thought was Kevin Rose (they went on ONE date last year). And HMMMM…Kevin Rose’s latest tweet is about sushi.

    Makes me wonder: Is Our Lady of Cupcakes make believing that a text message from Kevin Rose about sushi – the most unsexy thing in the world – is some sort of come on?

    Or has the Silicon Valley bosom really run that dry that Kevin has become so desperate that he is now bi-coastally chase a batshit crazy woman like Julia Baugher Allison.

    My instinct is the former: I think she’s turning this text from Kevin into a signal for him to chase her. And after all, I thought he was dating Julia’s new semi-fame whore Shira Lazar? If this come on is for real, talk about backstabbing.

    Either way Our Lady of Cupcakes is delusional. Perhaps our Lady of Cupcakes is dehydrated and needs to use a chaser when scarfing down all those cupcakes at 2 in the morning.

  51. Squirrel Nutkin;

    Words cannot express how much I love your pseudonym, or the delicious one you have assigned to Our Lady of the Pink Lightbulbs:

    JABer-stalky.

    So very Lewis Carroll of you. As in the oh so appropriate Through the Looking Glass.

    May the circle be unbroken.

    Nighty night, all.

  52. Squirrel Nutkin;

    Words cannot express how much I love your pseudonym, or the delicious one you have assigned to Our Lady of the Pink Lightbulbs:

    JABer-stalky.

    So very Lewis Carroll of you. As in the oh so appropriate Through the Looking Glass.

    May the circle be unbroken.

    Nighty night, all.

  53. Chicago–don’t link me to JA–but I do not like Mary–she is vapid–does not put forth any blog ‘content’, unless it is somebody else’s. Knows no more about fashion then the average person [I like it, I don’t like it] and yes, Meghan is mayonaise.

    I am distressed to read that there are ‘Team Mary’ people here on this site, as if, she is anything different from the horse/force she hitched her wagon to.

    To say that her blog is better than JA’s is quite funny [strange funny–not ha ha funny] she can’t write, she can’t spell, and everything…everything she writes about, be it restaurant reviews or hair dryer reviews, has to do with whether she got it for free or not, or will get her something free in the future.

    JA used to write, good or bad, whatever, she wrote. Mary hitched her wagon to this batshit crazy person and is trying the ‘I am better than them’ game to advance her shit. That is the only transparency she puts forth. Yes, she answers questions, [hostile] and she addresses more than the others [so what, it’s vapid] her head to toes are ridiculous, even she narrates, “you have seen these earings a million times” why then, why then, before you go out each evening, do you show the same earings and the same shoes???? She is crazy to think she could rise to celebrity fame by hitching herself to JA. There really is no such thing as work is there Mary? I think what I am most infuriated with is her sense of entitltement, she believes she deserves this! She took way too much pleasure at ‘being found by her readers with [shocking] no make-up.

    Yeah, I do not like Mary, at all.

    She does not come off as the best, and hey, shocking as it might be to some of you, she did pick out crappy stuff for JA to wear [but hey, where was that JA determination to not make others dictate your life] she did it before, if any [sick] readers remember back, Mary chose a stunning dress for Meghan and herself and picked out something kind of awful for JA– this is the history of their passive aggressive relationship that baugher blogged about long ago. hell, mary earned her nickname that way.

    Anyway, ‘team mary’ yeah, not so much.

  54. Yeah, I agree with Anon 2:51

    Mary is not the ‘best’

    I do not want to be a part of something where she comes everyday [and believe me she is here everyday reading this] and gets validation for her shit.

    Mostly because, her shit, is just that, it’s shit.

    I do not give a rat’s ass about how she is better that julia or meghan–she sucks.

    Hi mary.

  55. i just watched an ad for glad bags and the woman casually puts on an apron. wait NO NO it didn’t happen because in julia world no one wears aprons. ITS JUST NOT NORMAL. she is going to “bring them back”. give me a break, ive been wearing aprons since i was 6.

    then she say’s she wont wear them because she lives in manhatten, and after says how she just cooked herself some wild fish. so let me get this strait, you just rubed your nasty fish hands all over your pants?

  56. I think (hope!) most of that Team Mary stuff is just tongue in cheek. Just picking someone to cheer for in the speshul blogger olympics.

    Thanks for the compliment, Dyspeptic. I’ve cut it out and pasted it in the pretty pink-ribboned scrapbook in my mind. Ta!

  57. Hey, Fish Pants would be a divine commenter name! (Royalties split between me and Lionella, of course.)

  58. Anyone else curious why Julia and her mom didn’t speak for the entire month of January?

    I continue to wonder how much her parents cringe at how their daughter has turned out.

    HEY — do you think her parents regularly read her blog???

  59. In case you didn’t hear JAB radio interview – smart move – An unnamed guy that Julia has been “going after for a year” sent her a text message during the show that read “Come to [redacted city aka SF] and I will blow your sushi mind.”

    Kevin Rose twitters about finding best sushi place ever in SF.

    ….So much for Julia PLAYING IT COOL. Also, Kevin, ARE THERE NO OTHER WOMEN IN, I DON’T KNOW, YOUR OWN FUCKING TIME ZONE?!

  60. I think the ‘Team Mary’ prattle in here is just humour. I don’t think anyone here is really on Mary’s team. As noted, Mary is vapid and illiterate and has a whole slew of unlikable qualities.

    That said, Rambles is a lot more likable that Jackles. At least Mary has a relationship to the truth. Jackles doesn’t even know that word. Also, Rambles does seem to be at least trying to make NonSociety work. Jackles is actively destroying it. NS sucks anyway, so take that with a grain of salt.

    However in the Jackles vs. Rambles smackdown, i think there are people cheering for Mary to win. Like when dudes watch wrestling or something.

    It would be fun to see Jackles get hers from this whispy, illiterate girl who she believes she is superior to. That is some quality entertainment right there!

    So yeah, i think that’s what “Team Mary” is about.

    I am liking the JABerstalky! That’s good.

    And how unprofessional is it to blab about a text you receive mid-interview?

    Jackles is pure spectacle at this point. A total nutter.

  61. To MAMA: Based on her past blogging, it appears that JAB’s mother values her privacy and has some standards of discretion. (When Julia set her up on twitter, her mom complained that people were following her, for example.) I get the impression that Mrs. Baugher might not be too thrilled to have Julia publishing her letters on the NS blog, whatever their content, but particularly as she’s going on and on about renos to the house on the lake, the condo in the city … yes they’re very well off financially but I don’t think Mrs. Baugher sees any need to be so obvious about it (very unlike her daughter).

  62. To MAMA: Based on her past blogging, it appears that JAB’s mother values her privacy and has some standards of discretion. (When Julia set her up on twitter, her mom complained that people were following her, for example.) I get the impression that Mrs. Baugher might not be too thrilled to have Julia publishing her letters on the NS blog, whatever their content, but particularly as she’s going on and on about renos to the house on the lake, the condo in the city … yes they’re very well off financially but I don’t think Mrs. Baugher sees any need to be so obvious about it (very unlike her daughter).

  63. so both mary and jackles post about zooey deschanel—clearly one got it from the other, but who posted it first? and more importantly, who copied them and tried to create a BETTER post about zooey deschanel?? (regardless of timeline, julia’s ZD post is bizarre: i want to be JUST LIKE HER!!!!)

  64. verdict is in: mary posted it at 11:23, julia at 11:49.

    SO OBVIOUSLY trying to one-up mary.

    when i say i’m team mary, im not forgetting that it’s all one big trainwreck and both are deranged. it would just be an added bonus to see the queen J be dethroned by M on the way down.

  65. I don’t think the radio piece was supposed to be an interview, per se. I think Mark just calls her up to ask about girls. I’ve heard him before, he’s good.