RB: Julia, Jan 18 – 1:53pm


We are bitter, angry people with empty lives:

Reader Email: “99 percent of the people who do something negative toward us don’t even merit our attention.”

From: [redacted]
Date: January 17, 2009 10:31:44 PM EST
Subject: Turn the Other Cheek


Most religions throughout the world espouse pacifism as a major foundation of their beliefs. In simple terms, “turn the other cheek” means walk away. Plenty of people will do things to us throughout our lives that we won’t like. However, if we were to take issue with every single one of them we’d be in constant battle with all of them. From a religious and spiritual standpoint, you should walk away from these conflicts in order to avoid the temptation to sin. Think about it. You’d like to get back at your detractors for posting those hateful remarks about you. In some religions just thinking of getting even qualifies as a sin. Also, if you dwelled enough upon it, some day you might be compelled to act out on your desires. In either case, it wouldn’t be good for your soul.

“Turn the other cheek” has more practical applications in our everyday life than the religious or spiritual ones. Absolute pacifism doesn’t work in the real world. You can’t walk away from every fight. In life, you have to learn to pick your battles. Some are just not worth fighting. Sure, what these people post about you is hateful and wrong, and you’re correct in taking offense to it. Yet, do they really matter? Is what they say important to you? Frankly, it does you no good to pay attention to your detractors. What do you gain from it, other than grief? Does it feel good to be angry all the time?

If you allow every single negative thing someone does to you to affect you, then you will be a very bitter, angry, and perhaps even violent person. When you think of it, 99 percent of the people who do something negative toward us don’t even merit our attention. The person that cut us off in traffic, the obnoxious boss, the rude waiter, the annoying coworker–what do they matter in the scheme of things? Other than your interactions with them, you don’t give these people more than two seconds of thought in a day. Your detractors fall in the same category. These are people you don’t even know. They have no meaning to you. They don’t matter. Why do you allow them to affect you? Why waste your time being angry at them or caring about what they say?

You can choose to be angry at these people. You can even choose to lash out at them through one of your posts. However, keep in mind that when you do, you lower yourself to their standards. You prove yourself to be no better than they are. Is that what you want? Is that what will make you happy? Remember, your detractors behave the way they do because they are angry, bitter people with empty lives. They try to bring you down because they’re jealous of you, of your life, and what you have accomplished. They wish they could be you. That’s pathetic, and every time you aspire to get even you aspire to be exactly like them.

Revenge is never a good thing. It darkens our soul, makes us bitter, and keeps us angry. It’s best not to engage in it, especially when it comes to petty things and meaningless people.

The next time someone posts a derogatory message or sends you a nasty e-mail, ignore it. More than likely they want your attention. They want you to lash out and post them on your blog so they can have their fifteen minutes of fame and the satisfaction of knowing they hurt you. Next time, do yourself a favor, pay them no attention, and turn the other cheek.


  1. Dear Julia,

    I don't want your attention. I don't even need your attention to allow me to feel good about voicing my opinion of you. Your opinion of anything means absolutely nothing to me. Why is that? Because you lack authenticity in even it's most basic form. You are self-serving. You habitually place other people needs behind your own. So you can write all the fake e-mails you want. Nothing will change. You will still be where you are right now in a year for one reason. You're lazy and expect everyone to do the work for you.

    Now go to the gym and retire that god-awful cheap plaid skirt from H & M.

  2. "They wish they could be you."

    Oops, bunny, you got that one monumentally wrong. Some of us detractors actually have already earned (emphasis on earned) our 15 minutes and more–we're just enjoying a little long-overdue NonSensical R&R over here. Let the good times roll.

  3. These are people you don’t even know. They have no meaning to you. They don’t matter. Why do you allow them to affect you? Why waste your time being angry at them or caring about what they say?

    Here’s the big flaw in this one: a lot of us so-called “detractors” do know her! We’re the friends, classmates, coworkers and social acquaintances who matter because we’re the people whose approval she seeks.

    In point of fact, these positive-letter-writers (if there actually are any of them) are the ones who don’t know her (aside from the persona she allows them to know) and don’t really matter. Why is she wasting her time caring what THEY say (except, of course, because they’re saying what she wants to hear and we’re not)?

  4. Why is the bloated one blathering on and on about how she has turned the other cheek and found religion instead of going to the gym and stopping with the eating? I am very concerned for her, I think.

  5. I find it odd that nearly all these reader emails are written in the same style, with the same pacing and at about the exact same length. Regardless the writer of this reveals much more about himself/herself than about any critic of Julia Allison’s and Nonsociety’s.

    The belief that criticsm stems from envy and hatred indicates that that is how that person’s mind operates. The letter writer projects their own way of thinking onto others. Maybe some are hateful toward JA and quite possibly for good reason, I don’t know.

    What I do know is many have simply aired legitimate greivances in legitimate manner and their comments were deleted or they wre attacked and told to get a life by the women who run NS.

    I think the ones who can’t handle the valid criticism have the problem not the ones who simply have an opinon to add. The fact that JA posts this (and possiibly even wrote it or could at least have easily written something very much like and has echoed the same sentiments many times in the face of criticism) indicates that she finds this comment insightful or worthy in some way, which is both not at all surprising and also just sad in my opinion.

    These women go to great lengths to avoid public criticsm by not allowing comments on their posts, by deleting feedback posted on Question of the Day, which is the only place to post such input on their site, and by attacking those who do offer criticism (and I don’t mean personal attacks but genuine input or questions on the site and business) or by responsing when absolutely necessary (such as with comments they can’t delete on Gawker) with passive aggressive and flippant responses instead of genuine feedback addressing the real point of the criticism.

    The more they suppress voices the more those voices seek other outlets and get louder and possibly angry over being silenced, even if they weren’t to begin with.

    Trying to silence and shame those who have opinoins and input not only does nothing to improve the problems that inspired the ciriticm to begin with but also highlights their unprofessional response to and desperate fear of public critique and only serves to makes them look even worse.

    Those who don’t know how to address and take criticism, especially constructive criticism, probably do not belong in the business of publishing their “work”, especially oneline. The sooner Nonsociey and Julia Allison learn how to deal with criticsm instead of fanning the flames even further the better off their little venture will be.


  6. Ineffable —

    Very well said.

    NonSociety will be NonWebsite by March. I have my sources.

    The girls should be worried.

  7. I posted this in the entry it was concerning (one of the Turn the other cheek replies down the page), but since the conversation regarding Julia potentially making her “reader replies” up is going on here, I’m reposting:

    OK GUYS- this is weird, and think it may prove that Julia is making these e-mails up: This e-mail and the one posted directly before it show the EXACT SAME TIMESTAMP – down to the second.

    Both are stamped at 9:34:29 PM EST on January 17, 2009.

    It’s just too much of a coincidence. All signs point to the fact that she’s just editing the subject line, time stamp and content and posting these as real reader e-mails…except this time she forgot the time stamp.

    “Errrr…oops?” Bunny has been caught!

    UPDATE: They also have the exact same subject line.

    The jig’s up, bunny. What will God think? What will your Time Out editor think? What will your NonSociety sponsors and investors think? So many questions.

  8. It is peculiar that are so similar in length, construction and tone. They have that obsessive/compulsive composed essay feel about them, as if they were geared to match Brother Brit’s Insightfulness Index. But surely even manic Julia could churn out so much earnest pap over such a short period, could she?

  9. Dyspeptic – Who is to say she didn’t have them prepared beforehand? I’m not much a conspiracy theorist but I believe something is fishy here:

    Her reader e-mails came to her at the exact same time?
    The subject line was exactly the same?
    The tone of all e-mails is exactly the same?
    Grammar is generally perfect? Julia does know her grammar.
    In one of the e-mails – the one about K – it also used that. annoying. period. thing.

  10. Mona: true. That “annoying period thing” did jump out at me in the K parable, which was obvs supposed to leave us all deeply moved, except I was sort of throwing up a little in mouth. As it were.

    Manipulate much? Oh Julia, Our Lady of Sorrows, stay with us sinners as we make our way through your stations of the cross. Amen.

  11. Thanks Anon 4:09. If your info is right I think the site’s downfall will be 100% their own doing. They are doing everything WRONG.

    And I still really think the writing styles of these emails are just way too strangely similar. If Julia Allison didn’t write them herself then her fans are all clones of one another and her.

    Oh, and by the way, check out Ms Julia Allison exemplifying turning the other cheek with her comments in this Gawker discussion.


    I think she still has a little way to go in that effort (plus her comments offer great insight into how she handles criticism: passive agressive and nasty but trying hard to appear witty and as if she really doesn’t care and it doesn’t bother her.)


  12. Get a life(cast).

    A reader sent in a tip that 6 girls are working together on a site set to compete with NonSociety, learning from the mistakes they see these poor test rats making.

    Any ideas who these girls are? We wanna be besties with the competitor!

    Send tips: scarymary1234@yahoo.com

  13. Why post something like this? Does anyone actually read these screeds?

    I would love it if ONCE, just once, she published an email that was not blatantly ass-kissing, and actually ruminated on what it said. I’ll be hoping forever.

  14. The real comedy/tragedy lies in imagining Julia Allison sitting up at night, all alone in her pink Barbie Dream Shoebox dreaming up these crazy schizophrenic emails to herself. Sister Pink Bulb needs serious therapy. No wonder she’s an insomniac… if I stayed up all night writing 500 word emails to myself, I’d have trouble sleeping, too.

  15. The good news is, she’ll be going away soon.

    a) She’s getting old and fat.

    b) She’s an old maid.

    c) Time Out is going out of biz.

    d) Pretty much everyone is onto her.

    e) That is all.

  16. ScaryMary- Don’t know about 6 girls, but have you seen the I’m Just Sayin’ Show? They’re hip, young, interesting content and have a show practically every day.

    AND get this: I think they all have “real” jobs.

    I’m Just Sayin’ Show

  17. the just saying girls are really cute. and their show segments are cute and to the point. not to mention, they’ve done segments on empowering women and killing the man chasing stereotype. they’re officially the anti nonsociety